OvallyBalls can now reveal that our operatives have made secret recordings of discussions that took place some years ago. Names may have been changed to protect the not-that-innocent.
Wrigel Nay: Right, chaps, this salary cap is a bit awkward, eh what? If we are to DOMINATE the Premiership and the European Cup, we need you players. And obviously you won’t play as well if you’re not millionaires.
Basil ‘Bog’ Brush: Well, y’need the motivation. I coulda gone inta footba’, and got my money for nothing, and my chicks for free. In rugby, I have t’ make a lo’ o’ no-arms tackles, and tha’ stings a bi’ sometimes.
Maro Match (melodiously): Uhmm, I’ve got lots of arms; I’m like an octopus, mate. Uhmm, but every extra 100 grand grows another arm. Plus, it’s fodder for my political campaign chest.
The Puny Voles: We’ve got our private doctors and personal massage therapists to pay for. It’s not cheap being injured all the time. We are reduced to pretending to go on Z-list sleb programmes to survive. And it’s boring, so the finest Dom is in order.
Maro Match (melodiously): Uhmm, Classic Dom?
The Puny Voles: Nah, mate, Dom Pérignon.
Wrigel Nay: Don’t worry, chaps, I have a plan. You set up some limited companies, and we ‘invest’ in them in lieu of salary.
[Collective sound of gum-guard-sucking.]
Wrigel Nay: I’ll have my people contact your people to explain it all. [Drones on until everyone falls asleep.]
On the telly this week
Friday 8th November
| Connacht 11 – 42 Leinster | 19:35 | TG4 / Premier Sports 2 |
| Edinburgh 20 – 17 Dragons | 19:35 | Premier Sports 1 |
| Sale 28 – 18 Wasps | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
Saturday 9th November
| France 10 – 20 England (women) | 13:10 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Gloucester 12 – 21 Saracens | 15:00 | BT Sport 2 |
| Zebre 7 – 31 Glasgow | 15:00 | Free Sports |
| Ospreys 14 – 16 Kings | 15:00 | Premier Sports 1 |
| Cardiff 30 – 17 Cheetahs | 17:15 | Premier Sports 1* / S4C |
| Munster 22 – 16 Ulster | 17:15 | Premier Sports 1* |
| Scarlets 20 – 11 Treviso | 19:35 | Premier Sports 1 |
*Both of these cannot be right. But that’s what the site says.
Sunday 3rd November
| Exeter 17 – 22 Bristol | 15:00 | BT Sport 2 |
Ovally Balls 
@Ticht
Yes I really dislike the way WR have been deliberately trying to frame this. Could have been handled behind closed doors but no, they feel like they’ve been served some kind of insult and need to try and get some sort of public humiliation. Donate cash to the disaster fund absolutely, maybe more than the fine, but they can stuff the grovelling up their holes.
Not going to be resolved in clean manner unfortunately.
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SRU are far more evil than Sarries.
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You can’t get off the top five list that easily Craigs.
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I recently entered a whole new world of lagers. I’d always categorised the main types of beers here as Pils, Export, pale or dark Weizen (wheat beer) and the odd dark malt beer. Whenever I saw ‘Helles’ (pale) I thought it was the wheat beer, so never touched it.
Seems I was missing out on a whole range of strong traditional lagers, and it’s great to catch up on lost time. Found some really good Schwarzbier (black beer) too. You are never too old to learn.
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Iks – have you had a rauchbier yet?
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Llama – who said anything about that?
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If the SRU go top you’d drop out of the top 5
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Or are you talking about something else entirely?
I may be speaking baws.
Unusual, I know.
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Prl would drop out based on the current listing.
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@Ticht, it’s relative regarding the Drags, but yes it’s a ‘strong’ team. No weird selections and any gaps are due to injury rather than selection bollocks. With good coaching and a decent game plan it would be a competitive team. We have the Welsh malaise of an undernourished second row though.
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No Craigs, not tried a rauchbier, and not likely too. Smoked foodstuffs here are usually too heavy / overpowering for my taste so I tend to leave them alone. Don’t fancy the idea of rauchbier at all.
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For my sins I dipped into Walesonline to remind myself of the Drags team for tonight. This from Luke Charteris regarding retirement:
“It’s nice to wake up in the morning and not be stiff.”
And this from from the main rugby headline:
“The unlikely player who could be a shock new face in the Wales rugby squad after starting the season on fire”
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“On Saturday, about 4,000 pagans and witches will descend on Croydon to delve further into the occult. While many are simply drawn to the aesthetics of being a witch, there is a growing number of radicals in the country that believe witchcraft and magic is a natural extension of their feminist and environmental activism.”
From the graun. Beyond parody.
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@OT
hence the “we are entering an ice age” hysteria in the 1970s
Yeah, did my geog degree 78-81 and it was discussed in the climatology modules – even if not regarded as a likelihood….
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@Iks – 1664
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Ah ta CMW. THAT pint of numbers.
I’m reminded of an evening, probably in the Fox & Hounds, when I first quaffed bottles of Holsten Pils instead of draft Harp lager. Pils were marketed at the time as the beer suitable for diabetics.
Brendan Foster was heroically winning a race on the telly and I was cheering him on. That was the last I remember until dry-retching into the ash in the grate under the mantlepiece at home. Probably another piece in the jigsaw on my road to living in Germany.
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Thought 1664 was the year of Iks’ birth…..
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@BB – no, it was when he entered a little ice age.
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Harp lager? As in Belfast’s own Harp lager? The worst of all drinks?
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Fuck me, fancy dress except they think It’s real.
Might still be the best thing happening in Croydon.
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ENZOM – they’re radicals too. Don’t forget that.
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The peeps at comicon must be freedom fighters.
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Harp’s not from Belfast, Larry. Drunk there and muck it is too.
The Belfast beer I remember from my early boozing days was Caffrey’s. It became inexpicably semi-popular in London for a very short time thanks to marketing + Irish chic.
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God, what a load of bollocks that was:
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Guys
Anyone got a web-link for Sale’s game tonight…………………?
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Go embraaaaaaa!
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https://buffstream.stream/live-sale-sharks
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Sale’s Scot is Byron, but Wzzps have Minozzi at fullback. Cracking wee player, bit like a young Hoggy, only a bit less bulky. Should be a good game.
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cheers Tomp!
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It is Belfast’s own, tomp. Where it us brewed has nothing to do with it.
Its staying power is incomprehensible. The worst of all the mass-produced, cheap, nothing lagers.
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Peak front row try from the bad guys.
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Embra game on Freesports?!
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Nice try Kinghorn!
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Wasps take advantage of a very poor defensive effort from Sale to blast over from a 15-metre rolling maul.
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Smart from Ronan Kelleher. He could walk straight into the Ireland team.
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Hooker Kelleher gets his second (third?) for Leinster.
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Burning question: is Harp lager worse than Skol lager?
Asking for a friend who has bad memories of both from times of greater poverty.
Gotta go to golf now but will be back later.
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Harp = Skol
Harp/Skol >>>>>> Kestrel
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Harp is worse than Skol, in my opinion, but my only encounters with Skol it had novelty and I was having a good time anyway. Could easily muddy the appraisal.
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This Leinster game is getting obscene. Connacht half time talk is going to be miserable.
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Two words, Sauvey Own. Hof and Meister.
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there’s a jolly lot of Boks on the pitch in Sale
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Ah, four cans of Kestrel, down the beach on a Friday night
That’s living
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We’re making hard work of this
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I don’t remember that Kestrel super, though, we didn’t have that back then
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Chimpie, between our inaccuracies and Clownshoes’ interesting interpretations, we are indeed making heavy weather of this
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I’m only familiar with the Carlsberg and Tennents versions, didn’t know Kestrel got in on the act.
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7 Saffers plus McGuigan Namibian/Capetonian/Scot starting for Sale. Plus another on the bench. Faf and Lood de Jager to come. They’re like Montpellier.
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We need to get a few phases strung together, get that backline firing
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