OvallyBalls can now reveal that our operatives have made secret recordings of discussions that took place some years ago. Names may have been changed to protect the not-that-innocent.
Wrigel Nay: Right, chaps, this salary cap is a bit awkward, eh what? If we are to DOMINATE the Premiership and the European Cup, we need you players. And obviously you won’t play as well if you’re not millionaires.
Basil ‘Bog’ Brush: Well, y’need the motivation. I coulda gone inta footba’, and got my money for nothing, and my chicks for free. In rugby, I have t’ make a lo’ o’ no-arms tackles, and tha’ stings a bi’ sometimes.
Maro Match (melodiously): Uhmm, I’ve got lots of arms; I’m like an octopus, mate. Uhmm, but every extra 100 grand grows another arm. Plus, it’s fodder for my political campaign chest.
The Puny Voles: We’ve got our private doctors and personal massage therapists to pay for. It’s not cheap being injured all the time. We are reduced to pretending to go on Z-list sleb programmes to survive. And it’s boring, so the finest Dom is in order.
Maro Match (melodiously): Uhmm, Classic Dom?
The Puny Voles: Nah, mate, Dom Pérignon.
Wrigel Nay: Don’t worry, chaps, I have a plan. You set up some limited companies, and we ‘invest’ in them in lieu of salary.
[Collective sound of gum-guard-sucking.]
Wrigel Nay: I’ll have my people contact your people to explain it all. [Drones on until everyone falls asleep.]
On the telly this week
Friday 8th November
| Connacht 11 – 42 Leinster | 19:35 | TG4 / Premier Sports 2 |
| Edinburgh 20 – 17 Dragons | 19:35 | Premier Sports 1 |
| Sale 28 – 18 Wasps | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
Saturday 9th November
| France 10 – 20 England (women) | 13:10 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Gloucester 12 – 21 Saracens | 15:00 | BT Sport 2 |
| Zebre 7 – 31 Glasgow | 15:00 | Free Sports |
| Ospreys 14 – 16 Kings | 15:00 | Premier Sports 1 |
| Cardiff 30 – 17 Cheetahs | 17:15 | Premier Sports 1* / S4C |
| Munster 22 – 16 Ulster | 17:15 | Premier Sports 1* |
| Scarlets 20 – 11 Treviso | 19:35 | Premier Sports 1 |
*Both of these cannot be right. But that’s what the site says.
Sunday 3rd November
| Exeter 17 – 22 Bristol | 15:00 | BT Sport 2 |
Ovally Balls 
Has the sparkle momentarily faded from the Big Cup? That fixture list feels like a shrug and a trudge rather than a thrill. After the Lord Mayor’s Show and all that.
Perfect for the Irish teams and Bath. Lyon might be a good bet to rise above it all.
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Iks, it’s not the World Cup, but it’s still great rugby in my humble one. Love watching NH rugby at this time of the year, with the variable weather, small, intimate grounds and some cracking players. Just needs a slight adjustment back to club rugby and then it’s all systems go!
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Bath are not very good, Larry.
I’d reckon on Lyon as well, LaDoaB, but the Top14 table’s a bit strange at the moment cos of the RWC. Also, they were hopeless in last year’s tournament. Let’s hope they’re more a La Rochelle 2018 than a Castres Forever side in this year’s tourney.
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So Bath are a bit of a shower then?
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They’ll be circling the qualification pluglole shortly
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Notwithstanding a standard dose of lazza-underdogging
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‘We’ll go after it hard’ – Ulster coach McFarland on Bath opener’
Hard
Ulster by lots
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Chimpie – there are lots of hard men in Ulster. It’s in their DNA.
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Ooo-err
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This is good:
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Nige is carrying on! Refereeing great isn’t going to hang up his whistle just yet.
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Bob Dylan passed me by. Only liked cover versions of songs of his without knowing till afterwards he wrote them. E.g. Roxy’s Hard Rain, Melanie’s Don’t think twice…
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I did like ‘Not Dark Yet’ because it had that Daniel Lanois produced sound Thauma pointed out regarding Emmylou. I found it because it was on one of those Mojo / Uncut mag compilations.
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Anyway we can all get behind ‘Carry on Nigel!’
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Also, they were hopeless in last year’s tournament.
True. As you’ve said, hopefully they’ll decide they want to try for a double.
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If this doesn’t turn Thaum into an instant C&Dubya groupie, nothing will:
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Hmm. Not convinced…
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Well it was just a big white space until I posted, but I think I was probably right anyway.
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The flag on the guitar is probably not going to help your cause, Avs.
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Exactly, LADOAB.
Iks – Bryan Ferry’s done a version of Don’t Think Twice as well, which is well worth a listen.
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They better do this on the next Lions tour:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/av/football/50381768
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Think they should focus on scrumming first.
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They should take the wine. Bit of payback.
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Too late.
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I’m sure there’s still some wine left in stellenbosch deebs.
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Not sure the Big Cup is ever going to look amazing while we’re still in the WC hangover period but I’m still excited.
Not for Ulster. Don’t care how bad Bath are, we’ve been spluttery. Home team wins this game right now, IMO.
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Big cup sucks
Who would want to be in it anyway
*sulks*
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focusing on the league is where it’s at.
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The league sucks.
Focusing on what to make for dinner on Saturday is where it’s at.
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Dinner on Saturday sucks.
Focusing on putting one foot in front of the other is where it’s at.
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I’m sure there’s still some wine left in stellenbosch deebs.
Hmm. Gonna have to get my Cape Town mate onto that. He’s got an even worse boozy-lunch-to-work track record than I have.
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‘Focusing on putting one foot in front of the other is where it’s at.’
Hungover again craigs?
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This might be the most depressing graph I’ve seen this century. Other than Ireland’s World Cup track record. But I’m not Irish, so I don’t really care. Obviously love all the Irish on here, but they were threatening to ruin our march to glory until something strange happened on the way to the ground, so fuck ’em.
https://www.theguardian.com/politics/ng-interactive/2019/oct/31/uk-general-election-2019-poll-tracker
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Dinner on Saturday will be here:
https://boeucc.it/en/
Or somewhere slightly more louche.
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DBThis might be the most depressing graph I’ve seen this century
Who are these f*ckers voting tory? Are we just a nation of masochists now who just want to beaten/worked till we die?
Asking for a friend.
Also rugby, it looks very bad at the O’s. Can’t see any upside here.
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Foxy confirmed out for 6 months. Patchell for 4 months as a bonus. Bad news for Les Turks.
Good news for Ryan Lamb.
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Deebee, dinner looks good. Turns out I’ll be in Bath on Saturday, watching Ulster lose. Dinner could be anything.
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Real feelgood vibe today.
Probably time for some C&W music.
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Chimpie – not yet. Soon though.
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“Who are these f*ckers voting tory? Are we just a nation of masochists now who just want to beaten/worked till we die?”
Just a couple of examples of where we’re at – the Express ran two stories about a month apart, both were about minimum wage, one had the Tories advocating a minimum wage of £10.50, which they said U economic experts have said will boost the UK economy.
The second story was Labour’s commitment to just over the £10 for minimum wage, which they said would wreck the UK economy and cost you YOUR JOB (their use of caps)
The BBC cut out a dishevelled and possibly hungover Boris Johnson laying a wreath at the cenotaph, he was so bad he laid his wreath out of turn and upsides down. The spliced in footage from three years ago of him doing it correctly. The BBC apologised for this last night, saying it was a mistake. No one can accidently splice in three year old footage into the piece they are working on.
This sort of thing is repeated across all media, Big Media you might say.
What was Corbyn vilified for at the cenotaph a year or two ago? No wearing a tie or not singing dog save Lizzy or some other nonsense, but it went on for ages.
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Larry – some people from work are going to Belfast for work and want to watch football at the pub. However last time they went there was no where showing football at the pub. And no pub with a TV would show it. Do you know anywhere that would?
Fanx.
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I dream of watching my team lose, but us at the poor table don’t get to watch our teams on tv
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Ticht – this could be a long conversation but I don’t think that the press is the whole reason for corbyn unpopularity.
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@Ticht if you’ve gone all in on the premier spurtz subscription you can replay all our losses from the league to your heart’s content.
If you really wanted to.
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Craigs, since very few people actually get to meet Corbyn, very few of the nearly 47 million voters I mean, how do we form our opinions of politicians and party leaders in particular?
Going by the Express example above, Corbyn was vilified for meeting with members of Sinn Fein whilst Thatcher’s government were meeting the IRA in private.
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I’ve got PS on Virgin, Chimpie, it’s the wee cup games I mean, they aren’t on tv.
Having said that, I think the games in France may be televised there so I might be able to find a steam for the Agen Edin game
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I know. I was just being facetious.
In shocking news.
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‘Chimpie – not yet. Soon though.’
You on the sauce at lunchtime again Craigs?
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Apparently the Lib Dems have stood down here in the Brighton Pavilion constituency to allow Caroline Lucas a clearer run at being re-elected.
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In fact there are 60 constituencies where the Lib Dems, Greens and Plaid Cymru are standing down where one is best placed to win the seat.
I suppose the SNP are going all out for the full 59/59 in Scotland
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