With Six Nations on the horizon, OvallyBalls operatives have been sharpening their pencils (and their rapier-like wits).
Enzo’s Ireland squad
I’ll make tough choices and keep it to a lean-ish 36/37. However, I will do honourable mentions. The players will be in order from best to rest, where applicable. I’ll explain otherwise.
LHP: Healy, Kilcoyne, McGrath – JMcG has found a bit of form although the first two are miles ahead. Nods to Buckley and Eric O’Sullivan.
HK: Kelleher, Herring, Scannell – fuck it, chuck the kid in, he looks fantastic. Failing that it has to be Herring over Scannell.
THP: Furlong, Porter, O’Toole – first two miles ahead, pick themselves. O’Toole is not the third best THP in Ireland, John Ryan and Marty Moore are both better and, if it comes to starting a big game, they should leapfrog TO’T. But he has huge potential and should be in the group.
SR: Ryan, Henderson, Beirne, Kleyn – first two a good bit ahead. Beirne’s form has dipped a bit. Big Dev and Dillane and Roux are all fine but none have form that’s compelling enough to get rid of Kleyn, who has been good and put in one awesome performance against Sarries, which is hard to ignore. Still shouldn’t necessarily play, however.
BR: van der Flier, Doris, Stander, Ruddock, Connors, Deegan, O’Donoghue – no POM, he’s been shit for a year, everyone talks about his leadership so it’s time to have a word with himself and find some form. No room for sentiment. He’s not even next man in, Sean Reidy is the unluckiest guy to not make Enzo’s definitive group. First three would be my starters. Doris has to play.
SH: Cooney, Murray, Blade – self explanatory.
OH: Sexton, Ross Byrne, Burns – JS is still our best ten by miles, until Harry Byrne takes the shirt off him. Carbery would be ahead of Burns (definitely) and Byrne (probably? maybe? maybe not, actually) if fit. I’m as surprised as anyone to be pencilling in Billy Burns and, if Carty wasn’t playing like shit and Hanrahan was a bit more fit, I’d probably not have him.
CT: Ringrose, McCloskey, Henshaw, Aki – Chris Farrell and Luke Marshall are the unluckiest, maybe Tom Farrell too (injuries took away any chance he had). Ringrose is our best centre and my issue with him is that someone needs to tell him the expectation is that he’ll be the best in the world, or thereabouts, for the next few years so time to start playing like it. Given his form since the WC, maybe that conversation took place. McCloskey has been awesome for Ulster and, given we lack a massive carrier in the pick, I think should take the shirt. Henshaw however has been playing well. Aki is Aki, nearly always fit (an underrated quality) and solid.
B3: Stockdale, Larmour, Conway, Lowe, Addison – no Earls is the big news but he’s 32 and even if he wasn’t I’d not have him ahead of these guys. They all play wing and at least four play full back but, IMO, it’s Larmour at 15 with Addison behind him, while Stockdale and Conway are on the wings, although Lowe has to get some time there too.
Chimpie’s Scotland squad
LH: Dell? Bhatti? Sutherland? Our options here are un-good, none of whom are really first picks anywhere. would include Reid but he’s languishing in super-6 land. Need Kebble to qualify pronto.
Hooker: Brown, McInally, Turner. In that order currently although Rambo & Brown are pretty much interchangeable.
TH: Z-Fags, Nel, Bergs. zander has been on good form of late. Wullie can still scrum but otherwise looks a little off the pace.
Lock: Gray (smaller), Cummins, Gilchrist & Toolis. Skinner may be back up to speed soon in which case I’d have him in, no real idea what larger Gray is up to. if on form I’d include him.
Back row: Bradbury, Ritchie, Watson, M-Fags, Thomson. I’m sure Toonie will add Wilson. I’d have Crosbie in there too.
SH: Price, Horne, errr….. Pyrgos? Not much else in the cupboard really. SHC is odd-jobbing in France. Shiel looks good but hasn’t had may pro starts. Glasgow appear to have unearthed a fetus of potentially great talent but bit early to tell.
FH: Finn, Hastings. Behind that the cupboard is somewhat bare. I’d give Weir a chance, but others seem to think Horne is a 10. Yes he can do a brief job there but he’s not an international 10.
Centre. Jones, Scott, Hutchinson, Taylor, Johnson, Bennett, Harris all in the mix, could be a contentious area. They’re all regular starters, difficult to know who to leave out. would personally cut to Jones, Scott, Hutch & Taylor but who knows. Horne will probably make it.
Back 3: Hogg, Graham, Maitland, Kinghorn, McGuigan
Yosoy’s Wales squad
LH: Wyn Jones, Carré, Evans – Smith sucks so doesn’t make the cut, Carré can’t get a game, Evans is miles off last year’s form and Wyn Jones is serviceable. Overall rating: weak
Hooker: Ken, Dee, Elias – fine. Overall rating: tidy
TH: Dillz, Brown, WillGriff John – Guess work here as WG John is getting talked up and I only remember him as a powder puff scrummager that was Scott Andrews-lite. Dillz has played once since the RWC, Fatty Francis is too fat to play (injured, truthfully) and Brown is an awful technician in the tight. Overall rating: piss weak
Locks: President Jones, Beard, Ball, BAILLCH (British and Irish Lions Legend Cory Hill) – fine, same bunch as last year. Overall rating: half-tidy
Back row: Taulupe, Wainwright, Tipuric, Navidi, Shingler, Moriarty, Griffiths – Pivac is picking Shingler whether Iksy likes it or not. The starters should be Taulupe, Wainwright + 1. If they’re going to pick an 8th ‘rower, then pick Basham who’s a proper hard twonk. Griffiths makes Warburton look durable but Pivac was talking him up so…. overall rating: better than 10 Superbowls. Better than 19 Superbowls if Ellis comes back okay next season
SH: Tomos, Davies, G & whoever. Don’t care. Pick Tomos and sit back. overall rating: tidy
The Tenz: Everyone loves Dan Biggar, Jarrod, Sam Davies – not great. Can’t really play Turkball with Biggar, can’t trust Jarrod. overall rating: worrying
Centrez: Parkesy and whoever else is standing. Probably Scott Williams, Watkin will make some of the 6N. Too early for Benny T. Tyler Morgan looks done, wouldn’t surprise me to see Adams play 13 v Italy. overall rating: let’s not talk about it
Wingz: Adams, North, Lane Train, McTurkle, Amos Exprezz – overall rating: choo choo
FB: Halfpenny, Liam might be fit? – overall rating: good to tidy
MisterIks begs to differ in some respects.
Further reading
Chimpie’s synopsis of the Pro-Woo standings
Yosoy on Alun Wyn Jones and the woeful state of the Ospreys
Tichtheid on the Scottish looseheid predicament
On the telly this week
Friday 10th January
| Bath 19 – 25 Harlequins | 19:45 | BT Sport 2 |
| La Rochelle 30 – 23 Sale | 19:45 | BT Sport 3 |
Saturday 11th January
| Bordeaux 32 – 17 Edinburgh | 12:45 | epcrugby.com |
| Ospreys 15 – 22 Saracens | 13:00 | Channel 4 / BT Sport 2 |
| Clermont 29 – 13 Ulster | 13:00 | BT Sport 3 |
| Calvisano 19 – 47 Pau | 13:30 | epcrugby.com |
| Castres 42 – 14 Dragons | 14:00 | epcrugby.com |
| Agen 24 – 52 Wasps | 14:00 | epcrugby.com |
| Stade Français-24 – 29 Zebre | 14:00 | epcrugby.com |
| Worcester 66 – 10 Enisei-STM | 15:00 | epcrugby.com |
| Bristol 52 – 3 Brive | 15:00 | epcrugby.com |
| Glasgow 31 – 31 Exeter | 15:15 | BT Sport 2 |
| Connacht 7 – 21 Toulouse | 15:15 | BT Sport 3 |
| Bayonne 27 – 10 London Irish | 16:00 | epcrugby.com |
| Gloucester 29 – 6 Montpellier | 17:30 | BT Sport 2 |
| Scarlets 15 – 27 Toulon | 20:00 | S4C / BT Sport 2 |
Sunday 12th January
| Northampton 33 – 20 Treviso | 13:00 | BT Sport 2 |
| Leinster 42 – 14 Lyon | 13:00 | BT Sport 3 |
| Racing 92 39 – 22 Munster | 15:15 | BT Sport 2 |
| Leicester 30 – 20 Cardiff | 15:15 | epcrugby.com |
Ovally Balls 
It’s going to be 2018 all over again.
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England have recruited Matt Proudfoot to coach them how to scrum, ruck and win lineouts. They’ll be unbeatable for years to come. The British and Irish Lions will simply dilute the qualitee of the side if they put a few token Celts into the mix.
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Based on how Leinster are ripping all-comers apart and add Cooney the form SH – you’d think so. But change of coach and personnel, RWC hangover…. we’re all a bit apprehensive here.
Scotland up first – and I’m imagining that we’d try to repeat the world cup treatment and “do you over” up-front. then Wales – again bit like Ireland – change of coach, altho’ no RWC hangover. Whatever way the initial matches go – not likely to be anything other than a tight contest.
I’d guess you could make a case for anyone – except Italy – based on various combos of RWC success/failure, new coach bump, boost from / uncertainty caused by new players….
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All our players will be in Japan by that point. Exeter will be laid low by their latest European disappointments. We’ll be picking our squad from Leicester, Sale, Quins and Wasps. It’ll be the be like the Andy Robinson years times a million.
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I try not to be judgmental – but this is pretty bad
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It’s a fail of quite epic proportions
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Can’t underdog the world cup finalists and biffers of the ABs.
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He seemed like it was all normal to miss your daughters birth as he handed me the bags and went inside at 215am. I then executed a perfect 10,000 point turn to get out of the cul de sac. Would probably have been quite funny in a 90s sit com.
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@craigs
why didn’t he go with you to the hospital?
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Without being judgmentalhe sounds like a prick. You’re a bloody good friend to him and more especially his missus. But why was she going in for a C section at 2:15am?LikeLike
Can’t underdog the world cup finalists and biffers of the ABs.
Springboks aren’t in the 6ns.
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To clarify, she’s Mrs Craig’s friend and I know him as an acquaintance. Their plan was for him to drop their other kid off with the neighbour’s and he would drive. But he couldn’t drive.
She had a c section booked on Thursday and had one eventually but last night her waters broke. She eventually had a c section at 5am this morning.
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He once polished off a bottle of vodka by himself at a bbq at their house.
It’s a theme.
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Which one of you coined the term ‘Brexit’?
‘Cause now there’s ‘Wexit’, (Western Canadian separation from the rest of the country.)
And this morning on the local French radio station, ‘Megxit’ was introduced to the language…
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Quebexit
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I never knew that this was a thing: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-49899113
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Springboks aren’t in the 6ns.
England got hammered in the World Cup Final by the Springboks because we beat your All Black-mince-making pack to a pulp. Matt Proudfoot was the architect of that. He’s now in charge of England’s pack, so you should pulverise everyone in the 6N, especially given the quality of your backs – the centres in particular. Anyone know who’ll be the England centres? And will George Ford play 10 with Farrell at 12 or Farrell at 10 with two others at 12 and 13? Manu, Slade, Piers, Joseph, 36?
I bring you the Great England Centre Konundrum, or GECKO™ weeks before a shot is fired in anger!
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England got hammered in the World Cup Final by the Springboks because we beat your All Black-mince-making pack to a pulp.
As difficult as it may seem, I rather enjoyed writing that.
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And with that, I’m off for the day. Toodaloo!
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Deebexit
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Mind you Wexit is just Alberta isn’t it. They love their oil in Alberta
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Quebec has been a thing like forever.
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the guy sounds like he has alcoholic tendencies, craigs.
This is a free bit of ‘expert’ advice from t’internet.
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‘Scottish Rugby’s highest earner more than doubled their money for the year up to 31 May 2019 compared to the previous 12 months.
The group’s accounts showed their “highest paid director” had received £933,000 in salary and benefits.
That’s an increase of £478,000 on the 2018 figure.
There have been widespread increases across the board, with the total paid to all company directors jumping from £1.13m to £2.246m.’
That’s a nice wedge.
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Chimpie – they are buying me some whiskey to say thank you.
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@craigs
Drink it in front of him but don’t let him have any.
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Don’t think Slade will be part of GECKO this 6Ns
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@Deebee: Objection! I don’t recall the England pack getting beaten to a pulp by the Springboks in the loose, though the scrums were a train wreck. The problem for England was in the game plan (not enough kicking). Bah. Not that it matters.
I have a dread of this year’s 6N for England. Big world cup hangover, plus the Saracens situation. We’ll struggle to beat Italy.
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@Dab – history is written by the victors. Ergo you got pulped.
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“Anyone know who’ll be the England centres?”
A question as old as time itself.
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@deebee
Sam Burgess has retired
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OT – Big Bad Brad Barritt is bashing away still. Nailed on for the De Allende role. Just more skills.
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Can’t fault having good neighbours at birthing time.
MrsPooch (my ex) went into labour half way through the BBC’s showing of Mary Poppins on Christmas Day 1984. She was already about 2 weeks overdue after one false alarm, so we were already on tenterhooks while noshing the Xmas turkey.
It was a white Christmas and bitterly cold, so Ralf the Renault 12 decided not to start. Had to turn to neighbours we barely knew to borrow their car for the drive to the hospital.
36 hours later a sheepish me returned their car with an apologetic bottle of whisky. Ralf of course started at the first attempt after his Christmas Day protest, so bringing mum and baby home was less traumatic.
Good job Craigs.
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The Boks and England both put in immense semi-final performances to beat true contenders for the Big Trophy.
The only difference was that the former didn’t put their ‘job done’ feet up on the way to the final.
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England are massive favourites for the 6N. They are way ahead of any NH teams in terms of achievements, squad depth and the usual malarkey.
Only AI (Atonement Ireland) can stand in their way.
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Does a steal built entirely on old stories and restating the obvious still count?
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They do, and their lack of planning has caused some problems. The infrastructure needs updating but there isn’t a tax base because the government has been using oil money instead. Those revenues are in decline. (Oil is there, but it’s expensive to extract.)
Saskatchewan also love there oil and are in general agreement with Alberta that the East are jerks. (They are, but that’s neither here nor there…)
Manitoba gets lumped in, but they really don’t have much in oil reserves, so it doesn’t make sense to include them.
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Yes?
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there oil ???
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Does a steal built on grammar and spelling corrections count as a steal?
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Should be a great one, ladz. Little New Zealand in the third bracket of seeds will have to be pluckier this year.
Scotland expected to go well also.
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I think that the main thing that’s come out of the whole adventure, other than a sprog, is me looking like a superstar.
Rarely has such a thing been so unequivocal.
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Normally there’s ambiguity. Like right now, for instance.
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“there oil ???”
‘Why are you talking that way?’
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Ah well, we might not be in the U20s (thanks for pointing that out, Yos), but at least Mark got his wee pay rise…
We might not have made it out of the RWC group, but at least the other ‘company directors’ got their own wee rises too.
We might have had a crap 2019 6N (apart from 40 minutes against England – when they let a 31 point lead slip, at home, lest we forget), but at least the turnover was up.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/rugby-union/51109389
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Almost 2% of the turnover going to one blazer’s pocket is incredible in so many ways, and none of them good.
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“She’s a week overdue and asked him not to drink for 3 days until her scheduled c section. He didn’t manage it.”
Your planned caesarean doesn’t generally offer many drinking opportunites after the birth. An emergency one tends to allow plenty. If only he could have known.
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England centres? Pffft.
Which Queen songs benefit the most from being sung by Tony Hadley backed by five thousand 7-10 year olds? There’s your question of the week.
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Fat Bottomed Girls?
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@BB – I would have gone for Tie Your Mother Down, but sadly neither that nor FBG were on the agenda.
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