With Six Nations on the horizon, OvallyBalls operatives have been sharpening their pencils (and their rapier-like wits).
Enzo’s Ireland squad
I’ll make tough choices and keep it to a lean-ish 36/37. However, I will do honourable mentions. The players will be in order from best to rest, where applicable. I’ll explain otherwise.
LHP: Healy, Kilcoyne, McGrath – JMcG has found a bit of form although the first two are miles ahead. Nods to Buckley and Eric O’Sullivan.
HK: Kelleher, Herring, Scannell – fuck it, chuck the kid in, he looks fantastic. Failing that it has to be Herring over Scannell.
THP: Furlong, Porter, O’Toole – first two miles ahead, pick themselves. O’Toole is not the third best THP in Ireland, John Ryan and Marty Moore are both better and, if it comes to starting a big game, they should leapfrog TO’T. But he has huge potential and should be in the group.
SR: Ryan, Henderson, Beirne, Kleyn – first two a good bit ahead. Beirne’s form has dipped a bit. Big Dev and Dillane and Roux are all fine but none have form that’s compelling enough to get rid of Kleyn, who has been good and put in one awesome performance against Sarries, which is hard to ignore. Still shouldn’t necessarily play, however.
BR: van der Flier, Doris, Stander, Ruddock, Connors, Deegan, O’Donoghue – no POM, he’s been shit for a year, everyone talks about his leadership so it’s time to have a word with himself and find some form. No room for sentiment. He’s not even next man in, Sean Reidy is the unluckiest guy to not make Enzo’s definitive group. First three would be my starters. Doris has to play.
SH: Cooney, Murray, Blade – self explanatory.
OH: Sexton, Ross Byrne, Burns – JS is still our best ten by miles, until Harry Byrne takes the shirt off him. Carbery would be ahead of Burns (definitely) and Byrne (probably? maybe? maybe not, actually) if fit. I’m as surprised as anyone to be pencilling in Billy Burns and, if Carty wasn’t playing like shit and Hanrahan was a bit more fit, I’d probably not have him.
CT: Ringrose, McCloskey, Henshaw, Aki – Chris Farrell and Luke Marshall are the unluckiest, maybe Tom Farrell too (injuries took away any chance he had). Ringrose is our best centre and my issue with him is that someone needs to tell him the expectation is that he’ll be the best in the world, or thereabouts, for the next few years so time to start playing like it. Given his form since the WC, maybe that conversation took place. McCloskey has been awesome for Ulster and, given we lack a massive carrier in the pick, I think should take the shirt. Henshaw however has been playing well. Aki is Aki, nearly always fit (an underrated quality) and solid.
B3: Stockdale, Larmour, Conway, Lowe, Addison – no Earls is the big news but he’s 32 and even if he wasn’t I’d not have him ahead of these guys. They all play wing and at least four play full back but, IMO, it’s Larmour at 15 with Addison behind him, while Stockdale and Conway are on the wings, although Lowe has to get some time there too.
Chimpie’s Scotland squad
LH: Dell? Bhatti? Sutherland? Our options here are un-good, none of whom are really first picks anywhere. would include Reid but he’s languishing in super-6 land. Need Kebble to qualify pronto.
Hooker: Brown, McInally, Turner. In that order currently although Rambo & Brown are pretty much interchangeable.
TH: Z-Fags, Nel, Bergs. zander has been on good form of late. Wullie can still scrum but otherwise looks a little off the pace.
Lock: Gray (smaller), Cummins, Gilchrist & Toolis. Skinner may be back up to speed soon in which case I’d have him in, no real idea what larger Gray is up to. if on form I’d include him.
Back row: Bradbury, Ritchie, Watson, M-Fags, Thomson. I’m sure Toonie will add Wilson. I’d have Crosbie in there too.
SH: Price, Horne, errr….. Pyrgos? Not much else in the cupboard really. SHC is odd-jobbing in France. Shiel looks good but hasn’t had may pro starts. Glasgow appear to have unearthed a fetus of potentially great talent but bit early to tell.
FH: Finn, Hastings. Behind that the cupboard is somewhat bare. I’d give Weir a chance, but others seem to think Horne is a 10. Yes he can do a brief job there but he’s not an international 10.
Centre. Jones, Scott, Hutchinson, Taylor, Johnson, Bennett, Harris all in the mix, could be a contentious area. They’re all regular starters, difficult to know who to leave out. would personally cut to Jones, Scott, Hutch & Taylor but who knows. Horne will probably make it.
Back 3: Hogg, Graham, Maitland, Kinghorn, McGuigan
Yosoy’s Wales squad
LH: Wyn Jones, Carré, Evans – Smith sucks so doesn’t make the cut, Carré can’t get a game, Evans is miles off last year’s form and Wyn Jones is serviceable. Overall rating: weak
Hooker: Ken, Dee, Elias – fine. Overall rating: tidy
TH: Dillz, Brown, WillGriff John – Guess work here as WG John is getting talked up and I only remember him as a powder puff scrummager that was Scott Andrews-lite. Dillz has played once since the RWC, Fatty Francis is too fat to play (injured, truthfully) and Brown is an awful technician in the tight. Overall rating: piss weak
Locks: President Jones, Beard, Ball, BAILLCH (British and Irish Lions Legend Cory Hill) – fine, same bunch as last year. Overall rating: half-tidy
Back row: Taulupe, Wainwright, Tipuric, Navidi, Shingler, Moriarty, Griffiths – Pivac is picking Shingler whether Iksy likes it or not. The starters should be Taulupe, Wainwright + 1. If they’re going to pick an 8th ‘rower, then pick Basham who’s a proper hard twonk. Griffiths makes Warburton look durable but Pivac was talking him up so…. overall rating: better than 10 Superbowls. Better than 19 Superbowls if Ellis comes back okay next season
SH: Tomos, Davies, G & whoever. Don’t care. Pick Tomos and sit back. overall rating: tidy
The Tenz: Everyone loves Dan Biggar, Jarrod, Sam Davies – not great. Can’t really play Turkball with Biggar, can’t trust Jarrod. overall rating: worrying
Centrez: Parkesy and whoever else is standing. Probably Scott Williams, Watkin will make some of the 6N. Too early for Benny T. Tyler Morgan looks done, wouldn’t surprise me to see Adams play 13 v Italy. overall rating: let’s not talk about it
Wingz: Adams, North, Lane Train, McTurkle, Amos Exprezz – overall rating: choo choo
FB: Halfpenny, Liam might be fit? – overall rating: good to tidy
MisterIks begs to differ in some respects.
Further reading
Chimpie’s synopsis of the Pro-Woo standings
Yosoy on Alun Wyn Jones and the woeful state of the Ospreys
Tichtheid on the Scottish looseheid predicament
On the telly this week
Friday 10th January
| Bath 19 – 25 Harlequins | 19:45 | BT Sport 2 |
| La Rochelle 30 – 23 Sale | 19:45 | BT Sport 3 |
Saturday 11th January
| Bordeaux 32 – 17 Edinburgh | 12:45 | epcrugby.com |
| Ospreys 15 – 22 Saracens | 13:00 | Channel 4 / BT Sport 2 |
| Clermont 29 – 13 Ulster | 13:00 | BT Sport 3 |
| Calvisano 19 – 47 Pau | 13:30 | epcrugby.com |
| Castres 42 – 14 Dragons | 14:00 | epcrugby.com |
| Agen 24 – 52 Wasps | 14:00 | epcrugby.com |
| Stade Français-24 – 29 Zebre | 14:00 | epcrugby.com |
| Worcester 66 – 10 Enisei-STM | 15:00 | epcrugby.com |
| Bristol 52 – 3 Brive | 15:00 | epcrugby.com |
| Glasgow 31 – 31 Exeter | 15:15 | BT Sport 2 |
| Connacht 7 – 21 Toulouse | 15:15 | BT Sport 3 |
| Bayonne 27 – 10 London Irish | 16:00 | epcrugby.com |
| Gloucester 29 – 6 Montpellier | 17:30 | BT Sport 2 |
| Scarlets 15 – 27 Toulon | 20:00 | S4C / BT Sport 2 |
Sunday 12th January
| Northampton 33 – 20 Treviso | 13:00 | BT Sport 2 |
| Leinster 42 – 14 Lyon | 13:00 | BT Sport 3 |
| Racing 92 39 – 22 Munster | 15:15 | BT Sport 2 |
| Leicester 30 – 20 Cardiff | 15:15 | epcrugby.com |
Ovally Balls 
And there’s BB in there with what he knows.
I know that with Mrs CMW and the car away in Scotland I made the effort to get up at 6.30 to take three children on bikes and scooters to the swimming pool where one of them was supposed to have a lesson. What I didn’t know then was that it was cancelled which I suppose was a lesson in itself.
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And a lesson well learned as I’ve worked out that the dancing lesson for one of the others on the other side of town is also ‘cancelled’ so we’re not going to all traipse over there to confirm it.
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Disappointing that BB knows so little though I have to say.
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Trisk – ouch! Hope he heals well.
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BBC last night had it as a 1% chance of not raining in Glasgow at this point so it is nice to be able to rule that out all together and not to have to worry that it might be dry.
When Mrs CMW asked me if I could think of anything she should be taking to Campbeltown yesterday I did say a waterproof jacket and trousers so I guess I’ve done my bit with helping her, her brother and her sister move the mother-in-law into her new bungalow.
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I know lots of nothings though, Clyde.
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I see it’s nearly time for me to do my O’s on telly dance.
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You put your right hand over your eyes etc.
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I’m here for North at 13 but I’m staying for Lesley Klim replacing him.
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Comedy start from the galacticos
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Fast and furious start at the Stade Michelin. Ulster go straight to Clermont’s 22, and nearly score a try. Penalty is forthcoming, and it’s 0-3 to Ulster.
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Good start for Ulster. The words ‘magnificent’ and ‘monumental’ spring to mind, but maybe only because I’ve got the radio on…
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Oh my. Carre gets a red card inside 5 mins, for a shoulder to the head. Saracens will play the most of the match a man down.
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Lopez equalises with a drop goal.
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TRY COOONNNEEEYYYYY!!!
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Well, that’s just grand from Ulster.
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Those Dublin boyz are very good.
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Those Ulster Blazers! I’m betting they’d look good with a Bronski Beat t-shirt.
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If listening to the Norn Gibbons is what I have to do to give the O’s a chance then so be it.
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Met those be-blazered ‘gents’ at the last Clermont match. Not exactly my cup of tea.
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Luke Price with the best kick of his career, and it was an accident
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thaum, Country music fans?
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Seems I missed a red card for Rhys Carre after about 2 minutes gone.
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TomP – probably. They are *that* despicable.
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Parra with a pen makes it 6-10.
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They looked a little bit like the UVF Campbell College Brigade.
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Parra sin-binned for off-side a couple of metres out…!
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Almost an Ospreys try. AWJ with a top top top pass out of the tackle to put Luke Morgan away, couple of phases later and North just fails to take a cross kick.
3-6 with kick to come as a Town Called Malice is needlessly played very loudly in the background.
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Burns goes for the corner as the crowd gallantly boos.
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Line-out fucked up as per….
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Clermont give away another penalty and we’re back in the corner.
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Stockdale gets a bit isolated (drink!) and gets bundled into touch.
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Ulster need to get the points here . Not looking too likely.
Bad decision against Fritz Lee on that knock-on.
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Some top shithousery from AWJ on Kruis.
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Not sure who the lady commenting in the Ospreys game is but she is absolutely atrocious. No idea what she is talking about.
Jamie Heaslip, who I really like as a commentator, is chivalrously trying to cover her lapses by putting a sensible slant on her idiocies.
Certainly no Maggie!
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Ok, I can’t remember the last time I saw that. The ref has just pinged North for being in front of the kicker at the restart.
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Sit down, Billy Burns. Raka with a thunderous Fijian sidestep.
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Raka is merciless. Baloucoune saves a Clermont try, but may have hurt himself in the process.
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Kruis and Alun Wyn are hilarious. If it doesn’t end in a near punch up and a yellow each then my afternoon is ruined.
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Have started watching, almost certainly a mistake.
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Refit, I’d really like that to be enforced more often. Once a decade is best we can hope for probably.
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She’s not on my feed. I’ve got Andrew Cotter and Warbs – the best duo you could ask for.
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Saracens down to 13, Clarke binned for cynically playing the ball on the floor.
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Outstanding by Coetzee. He’s such a good player.
Young Robbie B on the wing is having a smart game.
Ulster doing very well.
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Initial maul defence from Saracens is good, pushing the Os back about 5m. Ospreys split off and get to the line. They recycle and Dan Evans gets round a defender to score under the posts.
10-12, 35mins played.
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Not seen much of the ‘spreys this year but I know their results have been terrible.
Looking at this game, it looks like they have a good pack (admitedly AWJ back may be a big difference) and a decent 3/4 line
The halves are atrocious, though. Really really bad.
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@Yosoy – Alan Wyn should have had a yellow earlier on. Forearm to the face of a man on the ground. Cheap, nasty niggle.
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@utna
And, remarkably, Venter is an upgrade on Aled Davies.
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Ulster give away a very kickable pen just before HT, and it’s duly converted. 9-10.
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Good to see Dan Evans get a try after the disappointment that he missed out on Yos and Iks’ teams this week…
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