With Six Nations on the horizon, OvallyBalls operatives have been sharpening their pencils (and their rapier-like wits).
Enzo’s Ireland squad
I’ll make tough choices and keep it to a lean-ish 36/37. However, I will do honourable mentions. The players will be in order from best to rest, where applicable. I’ll explain otherwise.
LHP: Healy, Kilcoyne, McGrath – JMcG has found a bit of form although the first two are miles ahead. Nods to Buckley and Eric O’Sullivan.
HK: Kelleher, Herring, Scannell – fuck it, chuck the kid in, he looks fantastic. Failing that it has to be Herring over Scannell.
THP: Furlong, Porter, O’Toole – first two miles ahead, pick themselves. O’Toole is not the third best THP in Ireland, John Ryan and Marty Moore are both better and, if it comes to starting a big game, they should leapfrog TO’T. But he has huge potential and should be in the group.
SR: Ryan, Henderson, Beirne, Kleyn – first two a good bit ahead. Beirne’s form has dipped a bit. Big Dev and Dillane and Roux are all fine but none have form that’s compelling enough to get rid of Kleyn, who has been good and put in one awesome performance against Sarries, which is hard to ignore. Still shouldn’t necessarily play, however.
BR: van der Flier, Doris, Stander, Ruddock, Connors, Deegan, O’Donoghue – no POM, he’s been shit for a year, everyone talks about his leadership so it’s time to have a word with himself and find some form. No room for sentiment. He’s not even next man in, Sean Reidy is the unluckiest guy to not make Enzo’s definitive group. First three would be my starters. Doris has to play.
SH: Cooney, Murray, Blade – self explanatory.
OH: Sexton, Ross Byrne, Burns – JS is still our best ten by miles, until Harry Byrne takes the shirt off him. Carbery would be ahead of Burns (definitely) and Byrne (probably? maybe? maybe not, actually) if fit. I’m as surprised as anyone to be pencilling in Billy Burns and, if Carty wasn’t playing like shit and Hanrahan was a bit more fit, I’d probably not have him.
CT: Ringrose, McCloskey, Henshaw, Aki – Chris Farrell and Luke Marshall are the unluckiest, maybe Tom Farrell too (injuries took away any chance he had). Ringrose is our best centre and my issue with him is that someone needs to tell him the expectation is that he’ll be the best in the world, or thereabouts, for the next few years so time to start playing like it. Given his form since the WC, maybe that conversation took place. McCloskey has been awesome for Ulster and, given we lack a massive carrier in the pick, I think should take the shirt. Henshaw however has been playing well. Aki is Aki, nearly always fit (an underrated quality) and solid.
B3: Stockdale, Larmour, Conway, Lowe, Addison – no Earls is the big news but he’s 32 and even if he wasn’t I’d not have him ahead of these guys. They all play wing and at least four play full back but, IMO, it’s Larmour at 15 with Addison behind him, while Stockdale and Conway are on the wings, although Lowe has to get some time there too.
Chimpie’s Scotland squad
LH: Dell? Bhatti? Sutherland? Our options here are un-good, none of whom are really first picks anywhere. would include Reid but he’s languishing in super-6 land. Need Kebble to qualify pronto.
Hooker: Brown, McInally, Turner. In that order currently although Rambo & Brown are pretty much interchangeable.
TH: Z-Fags, Nel, Bergs. zander has been on good form of late. Wullie can still scrum but otherwise looks a little off the pace.
Lock: Gray (smaller), Cummins, Gilchrist & Toolis. Skinner may be back up to speed soon in which case I’d have him in, no real idea what larger Gray is up to. if on form I’d include him.
Back row: Bradbury, Ritchie, Watson, M-Fags, Thomson. I’m sure Toonie will add Wilson. I’d have Crosbie in there too.
SH: Price, Horne, errr….. Pyrgos? Not much else in the cupboard really. SHC is odd-jobbing in France. Shiel looks good but hasn’t had may pro starts. Glasgow appear to have unearthed a fetus of potentially great talent but bit early to tell.
FH: Finn, Hastings. Behind that the cupboard is somewhat bare. I’d give Weir a chance, but others seem to think Horne is a 10. Yes he can do a brief job there but he’s not an international 10.
Centre. Jones, Scott, Hutchinson, Taylor, Johnson, Bennett, Harris all in the mix, could be a contentious area. They’re all regular starters, difficult to know who to leave out. would personally cut to Jones, Scott, Hutch & Taylor but who knows. Horne will probably make it.
Back 3: Hogg, Graham, Maitland, Kinghorn, McGuigan
Yosoy’s Wales squad
LH: Wyn Jones, Carré, Evans – Smith sucks so doesn’t make the cut, Carré can’t get a game, Evans is miles off last year’s form and Wyn Jones is serviceable. Overall rating: weak
Hooker: Ken, Dee, Elias – fine. Overall rating: tidy
TH: Dillz, Brown, WillGriff John – Guess work here as WG John is getting talked up and I only remember him as a powder puff scrummager that was Scott Andrews-lite. Dillz has played once since the RWC, Fatty Francis is too fat to play (injured, truthfully) and Brown is an awful technician in the tight. Overall rating: piss weak
Locks: President Jones, Beard, Ball, BAILLCH (British and Irish Lions Legend Cory Hill) – fine, same bunch as last year. Overall rating: half-tidy
Back row: Taulupe, Wainwright, Tipuric, Navidi, Shingler, Moriarty, Griffiths – Pivac is picking Shingler whether Iksy likes it or not. The starters should be Taulupe, Wainwright + 1. If they’re going to pick an 8th ‘rower, then pick Basham who’s a proper hard twonk. Griffiths makes Warburton look durable but Pivac was talking him up so…. overall rating: better than 10 Superbowls. Better than 19 Superbowls if Ellis comes back okay next season
SH: Tomos, Davies, G & whoever. Don’t care. Pick Tomos and sit back. overall rating: tidy
The Tenz: Everyone loves Dan Biggar, Jarrod, Sam Davies – not great. Can’t really play Turkball with Biggar, can’t trust Jarrod. overall rating: worrying
Centrez: Parkesy and whoever else is standing. Probably Scott Williams, Watkin will make some of the 6N. Too early for Benny T. Tyler Morgan looks done, wouldn’t surprise me to see Adams play 13 v Italy. overall rating: let’s not talk about it
Wingz: Adams, North, Lane Train, McTurkle, Amos Exprezz – overall rating: choo choo
FB: Halfpenny, Liam might be fit? – overall rating: good to tidy
MisterIks begs to differ in some respects.
Further reading
Chimpie’s synopsis of the Pro-Woo standings
Yosoy on Alun Wyn Jones and the woeful state of the Ospreys
Tichtheid on the Scottish looseheid predicament
On the telly this week
Friday 10th January
| Bath 19 – 25 Harlequins | 19:45 | BT Sport 2 |
| La Rochelle 30 – 23 Sale | 19:45 | BT Sport 3 |
Saturday 11th January
| Bordeaux 32 – 17 Edinburgh | 12:45 | epcrugby.com |
| Ospreys 15 – 22 Saracens | 13:00 | Channel 4 / BT Sport 2 |
| Clermont 29 – 13 Ulster | 13:00 | BT Sport 3 |
| Calvisano 19 – 47 Pau | 13:30 | epcrugby.com |
| Castres 42 – 14 Dragons | 14:00 | epcrugby.com |
| Agen 24 – 52 Wasps | 14:00 | epcrugby.com |
| Stade Français-24 – 29 Zebre | 14:00 | epcrugby.com |
| Worcester 66 – 10 Enisei-STM | 15:00 | epcrugby.com |
| Bristol 52 – 3 Brive | 15:00 | epcrugby.com |
| Glasgow 31 – 31 Exeter | 15:15 | BT Sport 2 |
| Connacht 7 – 21 Toulouse | 15:15 | BT Sport 3 |
| Bayonne 27 – 10 London Irish | 16:00 | epcrugby.com |
| Gloucester 29 – 6 Montpellier | 17:30 | BT Sport 2 |
| Scarlets 15 – 27 Toulon | 20:00 | S4C / BT Sport 2 |
Sunday 12th January
| Northampton 33 – 20 Treviso | 13:00 | BT Sport 2 |
| Leinster 42 – 14 Lyon | 13:00 | BT Sport 3 |
| Racing 92 39 – 22 Munster | 15:15 | BT Sport 2 |
| Leicester 30 – 20 Cardiff | 15:15 | epcrugby.com |
Ovally Balls 
“On a plate? Or slate? Or a piece of wood?
And how were the chips offered? ”
Plate, so a proper place, they don’t need to impress with gimmicks.
The chips were over-cooked – rosemary fries they said, wood chips, I say
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A man after me own heart. I’m suspicious of ceremonies, but piss-ups are grand.
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Tam, I seen to remember Roberto Carlos battering freekicks straight into row 58 for Real Madrid for years, too
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That Toulon pack is seriously muscular. Etzebeth looks like a regular Joe among them.
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Good feet and powerful finish, it helps to have Big Eben latching on
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Hoverin’ by my suitcase
Tryin’ to find a warm place to spend the night
A heavy rain a fallin’
Seems I hear your voice callin’
“It’s all right”
A rainy night in Llanelli
A rainy night in Llanelli
I believe it’s rainin’ all over the world
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Iran May Have a Fleet of Communist Killer Dolphins
https://www.military.com/off-duty/iran-may-have-fleet-communist-killer-dolphins.html#Echobox=1578583660
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Cardiff Legend Casey Laulala on the Toulon coaching team.
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Bit of a nightmare for 1/2p
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One of my favourite player, if only for his seize, Halfpenny having a nightmare. 3rd try for Toulon.
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What a mess. Huget would have been proud of that.
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Messy but another try for Toulon. Savea this time.
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Size, not seize.
And I’m not on the douze.
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Seize is Welsh for size*, flair. We’ll make an international referee of you yet.
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* It’s not.
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Flair would certainly be a better ref than Poite, even if he only spoke Elvish to the teams. I suspect that’s what Poite was speaking tonight (for both sides).
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We were at a match a few years ago where Poîte got clattered. Loved it.
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Bit of niggle in this one, just like the reverse fixture.
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That is a powerful Toulon pack, blimey
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Poite’s immaculate performance during the first half of that Eng;and-Italy game in 2017 is still one of my favourite reffing displays of all time.
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Power play again from Toulon. Impressive stuff.
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Quite the maul Toulon have.
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The playing conditions look a little moist.
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“Size, not seize.”
It’s funny how the brain work, I only read it as “size”, probably because seize wouldn’t have made sense in that sentence.
I watched an experiment on this, and your brain does sort words into what “works”
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TomP, I’d love to have the ability ( and the age) of an international ref. Hence my usual reluctance to criticize them.
Even if I had to learn Welsh- which seems a very difficult language, especially in its spelling! – I’d be ready to sign a Faustian pact to be young and able again.
On that note, Toulon get the BP with a 4th try.
Coïncidence? Mmmm….
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I guess Scarlets are more used to the conditions, but they suit the team with the bigger pack and the better kickers and it’s pretty clear who that is.
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I’m completely with you on the language, Flair. Rugby referees only really need around 20 or so words and phrases, it’s not difficult and if they hope to referee games between clubs on the European stage they should learn those phrases in French and Italian. When it comes to Argentina they will have to learn another 20, very similar, phrases in Spanish.
It’s almost like there are skills one must acquire if one wants a new/better job
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The spelling’s not that hard (- but take my word I don’t speak Welsh). Every letter has a value, everything is pronounced. There’re even diacritics to make a Frenchman feel at home.
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“There’re even diacritics to make a Frenchman feel at home.”
Most of them are on Wales Online.
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I’m not being an English language imperialist about this but it’d be easier for the players to learn the English than for the refs to learn the not Englishes.
Also there’s a Russian team in this year’s Losers’ Cup.
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He fielded that catch like I would have.
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Davies doing his best impression of a rag doll there.
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A little fracas to warm the blood.
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“I’m not being an English language imperialist about this but it’d be easier for the players to learn the English than for the refs to learn the not Englishes. ”
Why English?
Why not French?
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The scrum halves haven’t quite calmed down. Another little exchange.
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Even the crowd are missing the offsides the ref is missing now.
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I’d guess that English is used frequently by more people in international situations than the reverse.
Possibly also because Europeans tend to learn English as one of their other languages, where English speakers rarely learn a second language.
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Indeed. Why not French? Or Italian?
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Obviously they were missing any by the men in red in the first place, but still.
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*more frequently
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Also, historically rugby was run by an Anglophone concern. France didn’t even get a seat on the IRB until the 1970s. Nobody else until the 1990s.
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Ticht – I get what you mean but, England, Scotland, Wales, Ireland, NZ, Australia, South Africa, USA, Canada all have English as first or second (or perhaps third) languages. I do think refs should know some words in the language of both teams if one isn’t an English speaking country. Look forward to Poite saying, “Haw, Big Man! Gonnae no dae that!”
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@LADOAB – “I’d guess that English is used frequently by more people in international situations than the reverse.”
This sentence itself isn’t that bad an effort at ‘the reverse’.
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I’d suggest that if you want to referee in this competition you learn the appropriate phrases in French and Italian for starters, I appreciate that if someone wants to undermine this point they will ask “why not Russian?”
I’d only say, “why not indeed”
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Josh Macleod is playing very well this season. He’s quite unlucky that backrow is the only position Wales have any depth.
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A front-rower just tried a little grubber.
More exciting than the aerial ping-pong that took place just before it
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You should learn the Russian for “why not indeed” for just such an eventuality.
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@CMW
I’m still learning how to speak English.
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@LADOAB – I wasn’t trying to be rude, just amused by the concept of the reverse of English.
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No try. Nine played the other nine without the ball.
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