With Six Nations on the horizon, OvallyBalls operatives have been sharpening their pencils (and their rapier-like wits).
Enzo’s Ireland squad
I’ll make tough choices and keep it to a lean-ish 36/37. However, I will do honourable mentions. The players will be in order from best to rest, where applicable. I’ll explain otherwise.
LHP: Healy, Kilcoyne, McGrath – JMcG has found a bit of form although the first two are miles ahead. Nods to Buckley and Eric O’Sullivan.
HK: Kelleher, Herring, Scannell – fuck it, chuck the kid in, he looks fantastic. Failing that it has to be Herring over Scannell.
THP: Furlong, Porter, O’Toole – first two miles ahead, pick themselves. O’Toole is not the third best THP in Ireland, John Ryan and Marty Moore are both better and, if it comes to starting a big game, they should leapfrog TO’T. But he has huge potential and should be in the group.
SR: Ryan, Henderson, Beirne, Kleyn – first two a good bit ahead. Beirne’s form has dipped a bit. Big Dev and Dillane and Roux are all fine but none have form that’s compelling enough to get rid of Kleyn, who has been good and put in one awesome performance against Sarries, which is hard to ignore. Still shouldn’t necessarily play, however.
BR: van der Flier, Doris, Stander, Ruddock, Connors, Deegan, O’Donoghue – no POM, he’s been shit for a year, everyone talks about his leadership so it’s time to have a word with himself and find some form. No room for sentiment. He’s not even next man in, Sean Reidy is the unluckiest guy to not make Enzo’s definitive group. First three would be my starters. Doris has to play.
SH: Cooney, Murray, Blade – self explanatory.
OH: Sexton, Ross Byrne, Burns – JS is still our best ten by miles, until Harry Byrne takes the shirt off him. Carbery would be ahead of Burns (definitely) and Byrne (probably? maybe? maybe not, actually) if fit. I’m as surprised as anyone to be pencilling in Billy Burns and, if Carty wasn’t playing like shit and Hanrahan was a bit more fit, I’d probably not have him.
CT: Ringrose, McCloskey, Henshaw, Aki – Chris Farrell and Luke Marshall are the unluckiest, maybe Tom Farrell too (injuries took away any chance he had). Ringrose is our best centre and my issue with him is that someone needs to tell him the expectation is that he’ll be the best in the world, or thereabouts, for the next few years so time to start playing like it. Given his form since the WC, maybe that conversation took place. McCloskey has been awesome for Ulster and, given we lack a massive carrier in the pick, I think should take the shirt. Henshaw however has been playing well. Aki is Aki, nearly always fit (an underrated quality) and solid.
B3: Stockdale, Larmour, Conway, Lowe, Addison – no Earls is the big news but he’s 32 and even if he wasn’t I’d not have him ahead of these guys. They all play wing and at least four play full back but, IMO, it’s Larmour at 15 with Addison behind him, while Stockdale and Conway are on the wings, although Lowe has to get some time there too.
Chimpie’s Scotland squad
LH: Dell? Bhatti? Sutherland? Our options here are un-good, none of whom are really first picks anywhere. would include Reid but he’s languishing in super-6 land. Need Kebble to qualify pronto.
Hooker: Brown, McInally, Turner. In that order currently although Rambo & Brown are pretty much interchangeable.
TH: Z-Fags, Nel, Bergs. zander has been on good form of late. Wullie can still scrum but otherwise looks a little off the pace.
Lock: Gray (smaller), Cummins, Gilchrist & Toolis. Skinner may be back up to speed soon in which case I’d have him in, no real idea what larger Gray is up to. if on form I’d include him.
Back row: Bradbury, Ritchie, Watson, M-Fags, Thomson. I’m sure Toonie will add Wilson. I’d have Crosbie in there too.
SH: Price, Horne, errr….. Pyrgos? Not much else in the cupboard really. SHC is odd-jobbing in France. Shiel looks good but hasn’t had may pro starts. Glasgow appear to have unearthed a fetus of potentially great talent but bit early to tell.
FH: Finn, Hastings. Behind that the cupboard is somewhat bare. I’d give Weir a chance, but others seem to think Horne is a 10. Yes he can do a brief job there but he’s not an international 10.
Centre. Jones, Scott, Hutchinson, Taylor, Johnson, Bennett, Harris all in the mix, could be a contentious area. They’re all regular starters, difficult to know who to leave out. would personally cut to Jones, Scott, Hutch & Taylor but who knows. Horne will probably make it.
Back 3: Hogg, Graham, Maitland, Kinghorn, McGuigan
Yosoy’s Wales squad
LH: Wyn Jones, Carré, Evans – Smith sucks so doesn’t make the cut, Carré can’t get a game, Evans is miles off last year’s form and Wyn Jones is serviceable. Overall rating: weak
Hooker: Ken, Dee, Elias – fine. Overall rating: tidy
TH: Dillz, Brown, WillGriff John – Guess work here as WG John is getting talked up and I only remember him as a powder puff scrummager that was Scott Andrews-lite. Dillz has played once since the RWC, Fatty Francis is too fat to play (injured, truthfully) and Brown is an awful technician in the tight. Overall rating: piss weak
Locks: President Jones, Beard, Ball, BAILLCH (British and Irish Lions Legend Cory Hill) – fine, same bunch as last year. Overall rating: half-tidy
Back row: Taulupe, Wainwright, Tipuric, Navidi, Shingler, Moriarty, Griffiths – Pivac is picking Shingler whether Iksy likes it or not. The starters should be Taulupe, Wainwright + 1. If they’re going to pick an 8th ‘rower, then pick Basham who’s a proper hard twonk. Griffiths makes Warburton look durable but Pivac was talking him up so…. overall rating: better than 10 Superbowls. Better than 19 Superbowls if Ellis comes back okay next season
SH: Tomos, Davies, G & whoever. Don’t care. Pick Tomos and sit back. overall rating: tidy
The Tenz: Everyone loves Dan Biggar, Jarrod, Sam Davies – not great. Can’t really play Turkball with Biggar, can’t trust Jarrod. overall rating: worrying
Centrez: Parkesy and whoever else is standing. Probably Scott Williams, Watkin will make some of the 6N. Too early for Benny T. Tyler Morgan looks done, wouldn’t surprise me to see Adams play 13 v Italy. overall rating: let’s not talk about it
Wingz: Adams, North, Lane Train, McTurkle, Amos Exprezz – overall rating: choo choo
FB: Halfpenny, Liam might be fit? – overall rating: good to tidy
MisterIks begs to differ in some respects.
Further reading
Chimpie’s synopsis of the Pro-Woo standings
Yosoy on Alun Wyn Jones and the woeful state of the Ospreys
Tichtheid on the Scottish looseheid predicament
On the telly this week
Friday 10th January
| Bath 19 – 25 Harlequins | 19:45 | BT Sport 2 |
| La Rochelle 30 – 23 Sale | 19:45 | BT Sport 3 |
Saturday 11th January
| Bordeaux 32 – 17 Edinburgh | 12:45 | epcrugby.com |
| Ospreys 15 – 22 Saracens | 13:00 | Channel 4 / BT Sport 2 |
| Clermont 29 – 13 Ulster | 13:00 | BT Sport 3 |
| Calvisano 19 – 47 Pau | 13:30 | epcrugby.com |
| Castres 42 – 14 Dragons | 14:00 | epcrugby.com |
| Agen 24 – 52 Wasps | 14:00 | epcrugby.com |
| Stade Français-24 – 29 Zebre | 14:00 | epcrugby.com |
| Worcester 66 – 10 Enisei-STM | 15:00 | epcrugby.com |
| Bristol 52 – 3 Brive | 15:00 | epcrugby.com |
| Glasgow 31 – 31 Exeter | 15:15 | BT Sport 2 |
| Connacht 7 – 21 Toulouse | 15:15 | BT Sport 3 |
| Bayonne 27 – 10 London Irish | 16:00 | epcrugby.com |
| Gloucester 29 – 6 Montpellier | 17:30 | BT Sport 2 |
| Scarlets 15 – 27 Toulon | 20:00 | S4C / BT Sport 2 |
Sunday 12th January
| Northampton 33 – 20 Treviso | 13:00 | BT Sport 2 |
| Leinster 42 – 14 Lyon | 13:00 | BT Sport 3 |
| Racing 92 39 – 22 Munster | 15:15 | BT Sport 2 |
| Leicester 30 – 20 Cardiff | 15:15 | epcrugby.com |
Ovally Balls 
Quite like this ref – been very calm and clear, even though he’s only about 15.
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But there’s a Russian team in the tournament, ticht. Why should they be discirminated against?
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or discriminated against?
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CMW, there is a great Foghorn Leghorn gag, when he gets his feathers blown off he says, “Luckily I keep my feathers numbered for just such an emergency”
It was referenced in the Jonny Cash movie that Joaquim Phoenix made
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I covered that, Tam, knowing you’d bring that up
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@CMW
I’m sorry if I gave you the impression I thought you were being rude. It was an attempt at self-deprecating humour.
I do tend to post too quickly, and I do not have the same grasp of grammar that most who post on here have, so there is always going to be silly mistakes.
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60 mins in, BB, and he hasn’t said anything in French.
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@LADOAB – I’m relieved it turned out to be an international non-situation.
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He’s only 15, give him some slack.
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And I’m aware that sometimes I overstep the line between silliness and being a pedantic Poite, but I can’t help it as I find it one of the joys of communicating in writing. Or failing to as the case may be.
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Tremendous piece of not scoring.
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Scarlets may have missed a try opportunity just now when the player opted to go for the line himself.
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They only teach Russian at his school, which doesn’t quite cut it for refs. Yet.
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Scrum call from the Scarlets?
They haven’t been that strong in the scrum tonight I thought.
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It’s under his head
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Anyone able to help with what the length of a 12 inch rule might be?
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Was Evans not in front of that kick?
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TRY!!!!!!!
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It’s close to 30 cm.
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Ah, about the distance Steff Evans was in front of that kick then.
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Been reading about the English Academies Under 18 league. Hoping that Leicester prop Lynx Nourney makes it. He’s from Wolverhampton, born in Cameroon.
Best name of all, though, is the Bristol second rower, and Belgian Under 18 international, Spike Brain Jangen.
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It’s a shame that it’s harder to watch the Welsh teams play in the Pro 14 in the knowledge that they’re supposed to be concentrating on it.
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Toulon just too powerful over the course. It’s difficult to say where Scarlets are, they miss peak Barclay and peak Beirne up front.
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How about this? Considering the number of English teams making the final stages of the Hcup, why don’t we rather ask the refs to speak Gaelic and French?
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@Ticht – they do, but they also miss peak Samson Lee and peak Rob Evans and they were playing. Of course they also miss Liam Williams and JD2(most of the time) from the team when it was at its brief best.
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@Flair – not sure many from the team that will be winning it speak either.
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CMW, I take it rumours of 1/2p’s demise as an international force are exaggerated? He didn’t look great this evening, but everyone is allowed a bad hair day.
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“not sure many from the team that will be winning it speak either.”
The Dubs will be speaking Irish, as a second language at least.
I’ve started learning Scottish Gaelic after many years of promising myself to do so. There aren’t many duolingo apps that include Irn Bru in their language training
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@Ticht – I think most people would accept that he hasn’t been as good as previously for the last couple of years, but that Wales have still tended to be able to cope better with opposition kicking games when he’s been in the side. Lots of people prefer LW at fullback, but injuries have often made it a moot point as the two of them have often clearly been two of the best three ‘back three’ players available (or have been missing themselves).
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I don’t think many of the Dubs will be speaking much Irish in any meaningful sense, but happy to be corrected.
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Ticht, if Liam’s fit, Leigh’s second-choice. He ‘s been looking a little better than he did for a few years with ball in hand recently. Couple of bad mistakes tonight.
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@CMW, probably as many of the Edinburgh and Glasgow players are speaking Scottish Gaelic.
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@Ticht – well that’s not going to be many is it? Other than having been forced to do a bit at school with in all probability virtually no interest in it. Didn’t get the impression that Alba were able to find many (any?) who could do their bit in Gaelic though this did have the benefit of a certain comedy value to proceedings.
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I don’t feel particularly scared by any of the other sides’ backlines, not like I did in the noughties or the early teen years. I feel Scotland has their match in most cases.
Where I have the fear in the 6N is getting front-foot ball to give Finn that extra second to either do the impossible or to set his centres off, or to give Hoggy a bit of clear prairie in front of him
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CMW, they might have some knowledge of it as it’s compulsory in schools in Ireland. Not sure if that counts for the private schools as well. I very much doubt the 20 core phrases for rugby will be part of the curriculum.
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@CMW, I was exaggerating, no one in Edinburgh Rugby will speak Scottish Gaelic, there is a good chance a few in Leinster set up will speak Irish Gaelic, especially if they came from the Wesht or if they went to particular schools
Things are changing slowly in Alba, though
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@TomP – yes I realise that, just would be surprised if many of them have ever used it outside of a schoolroom as it’s hard to see where they would get the opportunity. And if they don’t ever do that then they will probably retain very little (my experience anyway).
“I very much doubt the 20 core phrases for rugby will be part of the curriculum.”
A friend of mine (she’s getting on a bit to be fair) who tried to learn Russian can only remember how to say “My father drives a tractor, he works on a collective farm.”
I would be quite happy for Nige to say this to a Yenisey player or similar.
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Time to address this deficiency in the school curriculum.
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@LADOAB – it is – it could potentially be the only bit that some of them ever use if Ovally Balls has its way!
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“there is a good chance a few in Leinster set up will speak Irish Gaelic, especially if they came from the Wesht or if they went to particular schools”
That’s not how Irish rugby works. It’s more diffusion of player away from Dublin.
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I’m thinking Henshaw is the best bet?
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When I first moved to France I could not speak a word. I eventually became fluent in rugby and agricultural fencing and, to a certain degree, forestry.
I never really got beyond that as I left after five years. I could hold a conversation, but learning a language properly involves a lot more than just the words and the grammar, the culture is huge.
I love France, I want to move back there, tbh.
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My Latvian vocabulary is about 20 words now. 1 sentence – Man ir viens bralis – I have one brother. Picked up when watching a subtitled Addams Family Values in a cinema in Riga. The subtitles were slightly behind the sound so me and my Canadian friend were laughing and then about .5 of a second later the rest of the audience joined in. It was quite unnerving.
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@TomP – do you have one brother?
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https://www.the42.ie/tg4-rugby-coverage-4648043-May2019/
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Me and Gomez Addams are like peas in a pod.
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This is interesting about Irish language and rugby:
https://www.the42.ie/tg4-rugby-coverage-4648043-May2019/
Best bet is Colm de Buitléar of Connacht.
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My friend’s father didn’t drive a tractor. Think he was possibly disabled to the extent he wouldn’t have been able to prior to them being in general use. She is from Hull, but the folks there didn’t get their way with the other bit either.
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A good friend of mine didn’t want to say that his dad was an industrial chemist in the French GCSE exam so transformed his father’s job into “pompier” cos it was easier and more pleasant to say.
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I see Naarch didn’t win at Old Trafford then.
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