ITALY: Azzurri in Space
Italy squad for the 2020 Guinness Six Nations
Props
Pietro CECCARELLI (Edinburgh Rugby, 9 caps)
Danilo FISCHETTI (Zebre Rugby Club, uncapped)
Andrea LOVOTTI (Zebre Rugby Club, 40 caps)
Marco RICCIONI (Benetton Rugby, 7 caps)
Giosuè ZILOCCHI (Zebre Rugby Club, 2 caps)
Hookers
Luca BIGI (Zebre Rugby Club, 24 caps)
Oliviero FABIANI (Zebre Rugby Club, 10 caps)
Federico ZANI (Benetton Rugby 13 caps)
Second row
Dean BUDD (Benetton Rugby, 26 caps)
Niccolò CANNONE (Argos Petrarca Rugby/Benetton Rugby, uncapped)
Federico RUZZA (Benetton Rugby, 18 caps)
David SISI (Zebre Rugby Club, 9 caps)
Alessandro ZANNI (Benetton Rugby, 117 caps)
Back row
Marco LAZZARONI (Benetton Rugby, 4 caps)
Giovanni LICATA (Zebre Rugby Club, 8 caps)
Johan MEYER (Zebre Rugby Club, 4 caps)
Sebastian NEGRI (Benetton Rugby, 22 caps)
Jake POLLEDRI (Gloucester Rugby, 13 caps)
Abraham STEYN (Benetton Rugby, 36 caps)
Scrum-halves
Callum BRALEY (Gloucester Rugby, 5 caps)
Guglielmo PALAZZANI (Zebre Rugby Club, 36 caps)
Marcello VIOLI (Zebre Rugby Club, 15 caps)
Fly-halves
Tommaso ALLAN (Benetton Rugby, 54 caps)
Carlo CANNA (Zebre Rugby Club, 39 caps)
Centres
Giulio BISEGNI (Zebre Rugby Club, 14 caps)
Tommaso BONI (Zebre Rugby Club, 11 caps)
Luca MORISI (Benetton Rugby, 29 caps)
Alberto SGARBI (Benetton Rugby, 29 caps)
Back three
Mattia BELLINI (Zebre Rugby Club, 22 caps)
Tommaso BENVENUTI (Benetton Rugby, 62 caps)
Michelangelo BIONDELLI (Fiamme Oro Rugby/Zebre Rugby Club, uncapped)
Jayden HAYWARD (Benetton Rugby, 23 caps)
Matteo MINOZZI (Wasps Rugby, 16 caps)
Edoardo PADOVANI (Zebre Rugby Club, 24 caps)
Leonardo SARTO (Benetton Rugby 34 caps)
Italy go into this year’s tournament fresh, in some ways. New coach? Check. Former Cheetahs and Newport Clart legend Franco Smith takes over the ‘I’m picking the team’ task with previous coach Conor O’Shea moving to Twickenham to become the new RFU director of performance rugby. New captain, too, in Zebre hooker Luca Bigi, and while there aren’t many new caps, the squad is still relatively light on the cap count. It’s a team that’s been around a bit, but the age profile suggests that the 2023 World Cup cycle was always the plan rather than the most recent event in Japan.
It’s a new Italy in many ways and the King is dead. Well, almost. He’s making a comeback, briefly. Despite not being named in their squad, Italy’s most capped player, Sergio Parisse, is going to play at least one more time for Italy against either Scotland or England.
I’m going to go out on a limb and make a prediction here: Parisse will play in the match v Scotland. Why? Because he’ll want to go out on a winning note and Scotland still represents Italy’s best chance of a win in the 2020 Six Nations, 20 years on from their winning debut against the reigning Five Nations champions. They have wins against all in this competition apart from England, but have not won a Six Nations match since 2015. Here’s a good quiz question: who was the last Italian outside half to start in a winning Six Nations match? Don’t google the answer and let me tell you that it was Kelly Haimona. Remember him? Even better question: the last starting outside half when they won a home match? Luciano Orquera. In 2013.
Are Italy going to win a match this season? Realistically, no. They face Wales (where they’ve never won) and France (one win ever, pre-Six Nations in 1997) away from home in the first two rounds before facing Scotland in round three. England are visitors to Rome in round four and they’ve never lost to Italy, so…. A trip to Dublin rounds off the championship and, yes, Italy’s record there is not good. The Azzurri’s chances rest on the round three clash, sandwiched between the previously mentioned fixtures. It is not so much on their own form coming into this, but more on how Scotland have got on two weeks prior in the Calcutta Cup match. If Toonie retains his hex over Eddie, then you’d have to fancy Scotland to put the clown suit on Italy.
But wait … minutes after I write the above paragraph, Finn Russell is sent home from the Scotland camp for being naughty.
Let me re-write this story. Are Italy going to win a match this season? Well, they face a Scotland team shorn of their playmaker, with a coach under pressure after a pool stage exit from the World Cup. All the pressure in that match is on Scotland. For Italy it is a celebration of all the good moments that Sergio has brought them. Why can’t they win? Why can’t they send their most iconic player of all time off into the sunset with a win? Good things do happen. People sometimes go home happy. Rome is a pretty joyous place most of the time but imagine it after the first Italian Six Nations win at home in 7 years: kids throwing themselves into fountains, grown men clasping at Tommy Allan’s hands as he is chaired off after dropping an injury time goal, every pizzeria making haggis-topped pizzas for one night only. Believe, Italia. Believe you can win and win well. Don’t make me come back next year and write the same Six Nations preview reminding you of when you last won a match. I don’t want to do it, you don’t want to hear it and my server doesn’t want to store this file for 12 months. Win, if not for me, win for little Sergi.
Can Italy win against crisis team Scotland? Yes. Will Italy win against the Finn-less, rudderless Scots? Don’t take my word for it, take the word of the first Italian in space, Franco Malerba, when he says “La Scozia? Pfft, naturalmente vinceremo”.
Preview courtesy of Yosoy
ENGLAND: Fecked!
England’s ‘Prospects’ For the 2020 Six Nations
The lie of the land
In a word, we’re fecked. If you are wondering why the beaten Rugby World Cup finalists are fecked, allow me to elaborate on why this is.
We were BEATEN by the dastardly Boks in the RWC final having duffed the All Blacks in the previous week. We should have been handed the cup and been given an apology by Rassie Erasmus for having the temerity to even think about competing with us for the cup. That would have been justice served. Justice 4 Brexit, Justice 4 Boris, Justice 4 Sag.
Instead we were smashed in the heid, scrum and breakdown and did stupid, stupid things like put Faz in a lineout. I know he can counter ruck the Scottish lock off a ball, but feck the feck off the lineouts.
More recently the wonderful, lovely, amazing Saracens have been fined, points docked and told they will be relegated at the end of the season. Just for some measly lost pounds. Which those dastardly Munster boys told Jamie George he should lose. The fecking cheek of that.
So, with a beaten up, demoralised, divided camp let’s look at these wooden spoon receivers.
Forwards
The good news is that we’ve nicked the heinous Bok forwards coach. The bad news is that he’s definitely a plant and we’ll be running upright into contact and stripped of the ball by some cheeky Valleys scamp in red. The scrum will go backwards, the lineouts fail and Billy is broken again. Maybe he should run with his arms above his head like my uncle, Earl Cnut, in battle.
Props are too fat and slow, locks are knackered, flankers are locks, no8 is broken. In terms of selection, I am sanguine. There’s no one else available. We’re absolutely fecked.
Backs
Where to start with this bunch of clowns. I guess Eddie is determined to give Ben Youngs his centurion of caps. But if he doesn’t improve then he can make like a tree and get out of here.
It would have been nice to have seen Shithair in the squad but he’s injured. Otherwise we’ve got Manu. At least we’ve got Manu. He can pair up with JJ. But when was the last time Bath actually won anything? Last millennium. They’ve been shit since Guscott left. Maybe Manu could play no8 or something and we don’t even have centres.
Fly half is captain Faz and will probably be red carded two minutes into each game and we can’t rely on his boot.
Our wings are sort of okay, but the only time they’ll see the ball is when they are retrieving it from the crowd. At least they can chase a kick.
I’m predicting disaster.
Matches
France
First up in Paris. We’ll get mullered by a hungry French team displaying the guile and wit we knew they were keeping secret for the last 15 years as a funny prank to play on us in this game. About the same score as last year, but reversed.
47-8 to France.
Scotland
Then we come to Murrayfield. Even if you told us to hold on to a 30-point advantage for half a game, at home, we still couldn’t win against this lot.
This is Scotland’s Six Nations Grand Final and they’ve had the Calcutta for the last 2 years (cats have also been lying with dogs). Expect this to continue for another year with a pictures of an arse-faced EnglishScotsman holding the cup sticking his tongue out like Gene Simmons (but without the infamous charm) appearing all over Twitter. Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.
23-3 to Scotland
Ireland
We then come to the first home game where Ireland will roost us into oblivion and avenge the freak loss from 2019. England’s forwards won’t have enough for this bunch of miserable bastards. Only the sight of a beaten puppy can crack a smile into their faces. That beaten puppy will be England.
28-3 to Ireland
Wales
Next up, we have the Welsh at Twickenham. New coach, some new players, world cup high of winning morally against the All Blacks, means that this Welsh team will cross the Severn brimming with confidence. Expect it to rain Welsh tries and the doom and gloom to continue. England will be served on toast mixed into a cheese and beer sauce.
60-0 to Wales
Italy
The last game should be the easiest, but we’ll be so lacklustre that we’ll fuck it up and Sergio will finish his glittering career by ratcheting up a win against us in Rome. England to be roasted in a giant pizza oven and served up on smaller pieces of toast than last week.
10-9 to Italy
Conclusion (#FACTBOMB)
So there we are. Fecked. England to eat shit and come last. Eddie, the French and the Celts to keep laughing. The Italians to stare disbelievingly at each other until the June tours when Reality will rear its hideous head. Craigsman to pick the wrong month to give up meth again.
Preview courtesy of Craigsman
Further Reading
FalteringFullback with more on England’s woes, and his 6N predictions.
On the telly this week (sod all)
Friday 24th January
| Northampton v London Irish | 19:45 | BT Sport 2 |
Saturday 25th January
| Southern Kings v Cheetahs | 13:00 | Freesports |
| Bristol v Gloucester | 15:00 | BT Sport 2 |
Sunday 26th January
| Harlequins v Saracens | 15:00 | BT Sport 2 |
Ovally Balls 
‘about 25 South West of Austin’
25 miles
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Gecko – good pack, but you’re pretty flimsy depth-wise in the backs. Offloading Notche to the Sharks was a stroke of genius too.
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Yip. John Dobson going to bore is to death again. 11 man rugby as ball won’t go past Jamie Roberts.
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Your France XV:
15 Anthony Bouthier, 14 Teddy Thomas, 13 Virimi Vakatawa, 12 Gael Fickou, 11 Damian Penaud, 10 Romain Ntamack, 9 Antoine Dupont, 8 Grégory Alldritt, 7 Charles Ollivon (c), 6 François Cros, 5 Paul Willemse, 4 Bernard Le Roux, 3 Mohamed Haouas, 2 Julien Marchand, 1 Cyril Baille
Replacements: 16 Peato Mauvaka, 17 Jefferson Poirot, 18 Demba Bamba, 19 Boris Palu, 20 Cameron Woki, 21 Baptiste Serin, 22 Matthieu Jalibert, 23 Vincent Rattez
Several surprises: Bouthier to start ( played Fed 1 two years ago) and Rattez in for Thomas Ramos, Haouas as a starter and no Macalou on the bench. Camille Chat injured is a big loss, as there’nt that many powerful ball carriers. Pace it will be then… if they get quick ball.
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i don’t like world cup years, and not for the obvious reason of Scotland’s abject failure, I’ve totally lost track of the Premiership and Top 14, my first reaction to the name Anthony Bouthier was, “who the heck is Anthony Bouthier?”
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5 Paul Willemse, 4 Bernard Le Roux,
Wouldn’t mind having that 2nd row down here at the Lions. Even if Le Roux is retreaded flanker. Is there seriously no decent tall timber in France?
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@Deebee& – does the French hooker speak Afrikaans?
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Ticht, no wonder you don’t know him. Bouthier was a mason and still played in Fédérale 1 two years ago. Thats the third division. Not a young man either ( 27, I think). Plays for Montpellier now. I may have seen him play two or three times. He was good but I did not think he was that good.
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Aesthetically speaking that’s not a bad teamsheet from France.
Everyone’s position is clear. Graphics aren’t too muddled.
8/10
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Deebee, you can have all the Saffers you want, but those two are French citizens. Their choice, not mine. As such, nothing prevents them to play for France.
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I like it. They’re all happy and ready to unleash some flair.
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Great story. Bit of a Jamie Vardy late rise. Hope he goes well. Must be a little difficult to process.
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Enzo, France were never better than when players had a real job on the following Monday. I take Bouthier’s selection as a nod to that period.
I’d argue that players then were smarter and had a better understanding of the world than our pampered pros. Hence better rugby players, albeit not physically of course.
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Los LadzGli ragazziLikeLike
France and Italy kill the blog.
Still one day to go before Brexit, though.
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Flair, I certainly won’t be celebrating 11pm tomorrow night.
This raised a little smile, though.
Symbols are important, keep a candle burning for us, we’ll be back.
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2020/jan/29/scottish-government-wins-vote-to-keep-eu-flag-flying-over-holyrood
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Flair, I know they’re French qualified – I’m lamenting the fact that SA rugby is losing more and more players in the pomp, whilst ‘importing’ the over-35 brigade to shore up our denuded ranks.
Also, France traditionally had plenty of big, ugly buggers in the engine room. What’s happened?
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I’m guessing they play basketball these days.
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Don’t think so, Yos, haven’t spotted any in SupeRugby.
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Deebee, both Leroux and Willemse decided to make their life here, to learn the language, to become citizens like million others emigrants. A bit different to poaching Fijians for instance.
Except Vahaa, France have almost no big lump ( we are talking above 125kg these days ) and we all know how it ended. Tall players, yes ( Palu, Ollivon, Flanquart, Gabrillagues etc) but that heavy, no.
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Thauma, sonnet is written, squad and match day team copied and pasted, but no words about the tournament yet. I need to extend my deadline to lunchtime tomorrow. Soz!
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“Enzo, France were never better than when players had a real job on the following Monday.”
So were Wales. Thanks for reminding me why we should always hate the English at this time of year!
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Two actually. Franklin’s BBQ corner of Branch & East 11st street is just lovely. Worth getting in the queue at 8am for opening at 11.
Then Salt Lick BBQ in Driftwood, about 25 South West of Austin.
Been to Franklin’s. Bought so much food it lasted for days. Fucking amazing. More a pilgrimage than a lunch. Still got some espresso sauce.
Didn’t go to Salt Lick but did go to Black’s in Lockhart. Well worth a visit on the days they do beef rub. Amazing.
Need to go back. Where is my stetson?
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Beef rib. Ffs.
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Just wrote stupid stuff, as if France did not poach young Fijians.
My only mitigating factor is that I had major work done on my jaw yesterday (2 implants). Now the left side of my face is the size of a football and just as round. I’ll be sipping soups and purées for a few days. The fun part is to look sideways at Mrs Flair: I think she wonders who’s this handsome stranger on the couch.
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Flair, I’m not arguing with you – I’m simply lamenting the lack of a core of seasoned pros in SA (and the Lions in particular) who have virtually none of the side left that played such fine rugby from 2016 to 2018. Neither Willemse nor Le Roux were part of that group, but hell, they’d add some sorely needed depth to our pack.
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Thanks, Iks, lunchtime tomorrow is fine. Hoping Enzo can also file his copy by then.
Flair – ouch, get well soon!
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Ouch Flair. I had my first implant last year and a pain kicked in about 3 in the morning beyond anything I had ever imagined. But I am a wimp.
If MrsFlair is giving your balloon face in agony the ‘who is this handsome stranger?’ eye then she is a master of the marriage game, you lucky fellow.
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Oh I understand, Deebee. I tried to find a difference between players who change their life for good (Willemse, Leroux) and others, the mercenaries who crowd the T14, at the detriment of both France and SA.
Just in Montpellier, there is a dozen of SA players such as B. Duplessis, Jacques Duplessis, Pollard, Goosens, Immelman, Serfontein, who should be playing in SA , helping their provinces and filling the stadiums.
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And I forgot Van Rensburg and Francois Steyn.
Look for MRH Montpellier Rugby effectif, it’s just frightening. Add in half a dozen Georgians, several Pacific Ilanders and token NZers and Australians and you’ll understand Montpellier’s popularity.
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You’re spot on Flair – every nation has players who’ve moved and embraced a new country. Beast was our most prominent one. I just look at the state of our franchises (what a horrible thing rugby has become) and can’t see any of our sides winning Super rugby in the near future. We simply don’t churn out the depth of like for like talent that New Zealand does and we won’t beat their top sides regularly whilst so many of our prime players are overseas.
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MrIks, the pain is bearable, thanks to Sag’s favourite products ( legally obtained from the pharmacy, I hasten to add) but was intense before they kicked in.
And yes Mrs Flair is doing her best, contemplating what closely resembles half the face of M. Creosote.
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Immelman got snatched up very young, maybe 21. Fine fine player at school and was very highly rated. Montpellier has had a large contingent of Grey College (best school rugby team in the world) Old Boys – 4 of the 6 you mention are from Grey – which makes them even more attractive to young lads.
The good news is French clubs are importing Saffer kids straight out of school: https://rugby365.com/countries/france/schoolboy-players-heading-overseas
But you do lose the occasional Saffer nipper – Duhan Mcvan Mcde McMerwe, Edinburgh’s finest is ex-Montpellier, drawn away from the Bulls in his very early 20s.
I bet if Willemse had got a cap for the Boks he’d be a mercenary now.
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Super League kicks off tonight. Wigan Vs Warrington.
Toronto Wolfpack were due to play their home game against St Helens in February at Saracens but that has fallen through. They will play at Warrington instead.
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I’ve got a choice of Super League or reading a book called Space.
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Watson out so Thorley or Furbank to make a debut. Both good lads – Furbank I think has to play 15. Not convinced by his tackling yet but a grand runner. Thorley’s all action.
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Fecked
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France need to kick really really well to have a chance or England’s half backs lose control. Put Youngs on the bench and start Heinz and England’ll win.
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Galthie def reads this. Double fecked. Thanks Tomp.
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Working from home today, so popped in for some Netflix and reading recommendations. Nothing doing, it’s all rugby talk and Hans Zimmer. Now contemplating firing up an actual work-related spreadsheet. Disappointing.
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I do have an interview tip for Craigs –
Yesterday while pitching for work in a company boardroom, I noticed a big white poster on the wall that just said at the top:
“What is the worst thing we could do?”
If you see something similar, don’t take it as a challenge.
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Haha BK, it would be something pretty heinous with this lot.
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Woo Woo
Woo Woo
Woo Woo
Guess my name…
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Studio ghibli coming to the ‘flikz if that’s your thing BK
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Just finished reading Blood Meridian, not going to recommend that to anyone.
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