ITALY: Azzurri in Space
Italy squad for the 2020 Guinness Six Nations
Props
Pietro CECCARELLI (Edinburgh Rugby, 9 caps)
Danilo FISCHETTI (Zebre Rugby Club, uncapped)
Andrea LOVOTTI (Zebre Rugby Club, 40 caps)
Marco RICCIONI (Benetton Rugby, 7 caps)
Giosuè ZILOCCHI (Zebre Rugby Club, 2 caps)
Hookers
Luca BIGI (Zebre Rugby Club, 24 caps)
Oliviero FABIANI (Zebre Rugby Club, 10 caps)
Federico ZANI (Benetton Rugby 13 caps)
Second row
Dean BUDD (Benetton Rugby, 26 caps)
Niccolò CANNONE (Argos Petrarca Rugby/Benetton Rugby, uncapped)
Federico RUZZA (Benetton Rugby, 18 caps)
David SISI (Zebre Rugby Club, 9 caps)
Alessandro ZANNI (Benetton Rugby, 117 caps)
Back row
Marco LAZZARONI (Benetton Rugby, 4 caps)
Giovanni LICATA (Zebre Rugby Club, 8 caps)
Johan MEYER (Zebre Rugby Club, 4 caps)
Sebastian NEGRI (Benetton Rugby, 22 caps)
Jake POLLEDRI (Gloucester Rugby, 13 caps)
Abraham STEYN (Benetton Rugby, 36 caps)
Scrum-halves
Callum BRALEY (Gloucester Rugby, 5 caps)
Guglielmo PALAZZANI (Zebre Rugby Club, 36 caps)
Marcello VIOLI (Zebre Rugby Club, 15 caps)
Fly-halves
Tommaso ALLAN (Benetton Rugby, 54 caps)
Carlo CANNA (Zebre Rugby Club, 39 caps)
Centres
Giulio BISEGNI (Zebre Rugby Club, 14 caps)
Tommaso BONI (Zebre Rugby Club, 11 caps)
Luca MORISI (Benetton Rugby, 29 caps)
Alberto SGARBI (Benetton Rugby, 29 caps)
Back three
Mattia BELLINI (Zebre Rugby Club, 22 caps)
Tommaso BENVENUTI (Benetton Rugby, 62 caps)
Michelangelo BIONDELLI (Fiamme Oro Rugby/Zebre Rugby Club, uncapped)
Jayden HAYWARD (Benetton Rugby, 23 caps)
Matteo MINOZZI (Wasps Rugby, 16 caps)
Edoardo PADOVANI (Zebre Rugby Club, 24 caps)
Leonardo SARTO (Benetton Rugby 34 caps)
Italy go into this year’s tournament fresh, in some ways. New coach? Check. Former Cheetahs and Newport Clart legend Franco Smith takes over the ‘I’m picking the team’ task with previous coach Conor O’Shea moving to Twickenham to become the new RFU director of performance rugby. New captain, too, in Zebre hooker Luca Bigi, and while there aren’t many new caps, the squad is still relatively light on the cap count. It’s a team that’s been around a bit, but the age profile suggests that the 2023 World Cup cycle was always the plan rather than the most recent event in Japan.
It’s a new Italy in many ways and the King is dead. Well, almost. He’s making a comeback, briefly. Despite not being named in their squad, Italy’s most capped player, Sergio Parisse, is going to play at least one more time for Italy against either Scotland or England.
I’m going to go out on a limb and make a prediction here: Parisse will play in the match v Scotland. Why? Because he’ll want to go out on a winning note and Scotland still represents Italy’s best chance of a win in the 2020 Six Nations, 20 years on from their winning debut against the reigning Five Nations champions. They have wins against all in this competition apart from England, but have not won a Six Nations match since 2015. Here’s a good quiz question: who was the last Italian outside half to start in a winning Six Nations match? Don’t google the answer and let me tell you that it was Kelly Haimona. Remember him? Even better question: the last starting outside half when they won a home match? Luciano Orquera. In 2013.
Are Italy going to win a match this season? Realistically, no. They face Wales (where they’ve never won) and France (one win ever, pre-Six Nations in 1997) away from home in the first two rounds before facing Scotland in round three. England are visitors to Rome in round four and they’ve never lost to Italy, so…. A trip to Dublin rounds off the championship and, yes, Italy’s record there is not good. The Azzurri’s chances rest on the round three clash, sandwiched between the previously mentioned fixtures. It is not so much on their own form coming into this, but more on how Scotland have got on two weeks prior in the Calcutta Cup match. If Toonie retains his hex over Eddie, then you’d have to fancy Scotland to put the clown suit on Italy.
But wait … minutes after I write the above paragraph, Finn Russell is sent home from the Scotland camp for being naughty.
Let me re-write this story. Are Italy going to win a match this season? Well, they face a Scotland team shorn of their playmaker, with a coach under pressure after a pool stage exit from the World Cup. All the pressure in that match is on Scotland. For Italy it is a celebration of all the good moments that Sergio has brought them. Why can’t they win? Why can’t they send their most iconic player of all time off into the sunset with a win? Good things do happen. People sometimes go home happy. Rome is a pretty joyous place most of the time but imagine it after the first Italian Six Nations win at home in 7 years: kids throwing themselves into fountains, grown men clasping at Tommy Allan’s hands as he is chaired off after dropping an injury time goal, every pizzeria making haggis-topped pizzas for one night only. Believe, Italia. Believe you can win and win well. Don’t make me come back next year and write the same Six Nations preview reminding you of when you last won a match. I don’t want to do it, you don’t want to hear it and my server doesn’t want to store this file for 12 months. Win, if not for me, win for little Sergi.
Can Italy win against crisis team Scotland? Yes. Will Italy win against the Finn-less, rudderless Scots? Don’t take my word for it, take the word of the first Italian in space, Franco Malerba, when he says “La Scozia? Pfft, naturalmente vinceremo”.
Preview courtesy of Yosoy
ENGLAND: Fecked!
England’s ‘Prospects’ For the 2020 Six Nations
The lie of the land
In a word, we’re fecked. If you are wondering why the beaten Rugby World Cup finalists are fecked, allow me to elaborate on why this is.
We were BEATEN by the dastardly Boks in the RWC final having duffed the All Blacks in the previous week. We should have been handed the cup and been given an apology by Rassie Erasmus for having the temerity to even think about competing with us for the cup. That would have been justice served. Justice 4 Brexit, Justice 4 Boris, Justice 4 Sag.
Instead we were smashed in the heid, scrum and breakdown and did stupid, stupid things like put Faz in a lineout. I know he can counter ruck the Scottish lock off a ball, but feck the feck off the lineouts.
More recently the wonderful, lovely, amazing Saracens have been fined, points docked and told they will be relegated at the end of the season. Just for some measly lost pounds. Which those dastardly Munster boys told Jamie George he should lose. The fecking cheek of that.
So, with a beaten up, demoralised, divided camp let’s look at these wooden spoon receivers.
Forwards
The good news is that we’ve nicked the heinous Bok forwards coach. The bad news is that he’s definitely a plant and we’ll be running upright into contact and stripped of the ball by some cheeky Valleys scamp in red. The scrum will go backwards, the lineouts fail and Billy is broken again. Maybe he should run with his arms above his head like my uncle, Earl Cnut, in battle.
Props are too fat and slow, locks are knackered, flankers are locks, no8 is broken. In terms of selection, I am sanguine. There’s no one else available. We’re absolutely fecked.
Backs
Where to start with this bunch of clowns. I guess Eddie is determined to give Ben Youngs his centurion of caps. But if he doesn’t improve then he can make like a tree and get out of here.
It would have been nice to have seen Shithair in the squad but he’s injured. Otherwise we’ve got Manu. At least we’ve got Manu. He can pair up with JJ. But when was the last time Bath actually won anything? Last millennium. They’ve been shit since Guscott left. Maybe Manu could play no8 or something and we don’t even have centres.
Fly half is captain Faz and will probably be red carded two minutes into each game and we can’t rely on his boot.
Our wings are sort of okay, but the only time they’ll see the ball is when they are retrieving it from the crowd. At least they can chase a kick.
I’m predicting disaster.
Matches
France
First up in Paris. We’ll get mullered by a hungry French team displaying the guile and wit we knew they were keeping secret for the last 15 years as a funny prank to play on us in this game. About the same score as last year, but reversed.
47-8 to France.
Scotland
Then we come to Murrayfield. Even if you told us to hold on to a 30-point advantage for half a game, at home, we still couldn’t win against this lot.
This is Scotland’s Six Nations Grand Final and they’ve had the Calcutta for the last 2 years (cats have also been lying with dogs). Expect this to continue for another year with a pictures of an arse-faced EnglishScotsman holding the cup sticking his tongue out like Gene Simmons (but without the infamous charm) appearing all over Twitter. Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.
23-3 to Scotland
Ireland
We then come to the first home game where Ireland will roost us into oblivion and avenge the freak loss from 2019. England’s forwards won’t have enough for this bunch of miserable bastards. Only the sight of a beaten puppy can crack a smile into their faces. That beaten puppy will be England.
28-3 to Ireland
Wales
Next up, we have the Welsh at Twickenham. New coach, some new players, world cup high of winning morally against the All Blacks, means that this Welsh team will cross the Severn brimming with confidence. Expect it to rain Welsh tries and the doom and gloom to continue. England will be served on toast mixed into a cheese and beer sauce.
60-0 to Wales
Italy
The last game should be the easiest, but we’ll be so lacklustre that we’ll fuck it up and Sergio will finish his glittering career by ratcheting up a win against us in Rome. England to be roasted in a giant pizza oven and served up on smaller pieces of toast than last week.
10-9 to Italy
Conclusion (#FACTBOMB)
So there we are. Fecked. England to eat shit and come last. Eddie, the French and the Celts to keep laughing. The Italians to stare disbelievingly at each other until the June tours when Reality will rear its hideous head. Craigsman to pick the wrong month to give up meth again.
Preview courtesy of Craigsman
Further Reading
FalteringFullback with more on England’s woes, and his 6N predictions.
On the telly this week (sod all)
Friday 24th January
| Northampton v London Irish | 19:45 | BT Sport 2 |
Saturday 25th January
| Southern Kings v Cheetahs | 13:00 | Freesports |
| Bristol v Gloucester | 15:00 | BT Sport 2 |
Sunday 26th January
| Harlequins v Saracens | 15:00 | BT Sport 2 |
Ovally Balls 
Smell that? I love that smell, that gasoline. I love the smell of a steal in the morning
It smells like victory
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Good form Ticht! Don’t fret about Ireland, they’re on a cataclysmic fall from the giddy heights of the last couple of years. They’ll always have Chicago, but they’re ageing, injured and disjointed. You’ve got this one!
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This ageing Ireland has been a thing for literally ages. Are they really that old collectively?
This needs some facts. I’m far too idle to look stuff up though.
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@iks
Yep – pronounced “Air- shar- shar- shar- shar- shar-shay” or “Or-share- share- share- share- share-shay” depending on where you think the “fada”s (acute accents) are
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‘The Irish skipper Rory Best, who is a canny communicator, has spoken about Joe Schmidt and the relentless regime the fastidious Kiwi coach, dubbed “Schmidtler”, fostered.’
Uncle Joe Schmidtler.
‘Just as Schmidt failed to trust his players the mumble emerging from the Scotland camp post World Cup was that Townsend was making (or attempting to make) every call from the bleachers.’
Judging by the way we played this wouldn’t surprise me one bit. Looked utterly predictable and one-dimensional. obviously forgot the defence bit.
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R-Hutch:
“I have done some training sessions covering 10,”
he’d be an interesting bench option. But think I’d prefer an actual 10, using centres filling in at 10 hasn’t gone well in the past.
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Well, there’s 30+ cohort – Sexton, Murray, Healy, O’Mahony, Toner, Earls… that said Best, Kearney are gone (Best by design). There’s young crowd – Kelleher, Doris, Deegan, and of course Larmour.
There’s probably a 27-30 gang where it’s hard to tell if they’ll make RWC 2023 in France – Henshaw, Stander, Cooney, Furlong, Henderson,
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Clearly, there are some positions where only an expert will do (hooker, prop). Elsewhere, where it’s potentially more flexible – I’d still be inclined to say, you’re better off to go with a limited player who “knows” the position than shoe-horn a good player into a role where they will be (potentially) uncomfortable.
Now you don’t always get that option at J3 or U14 or whatever….
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This is a hot topic among Scottish supporters online. Hutchinson played 10 for the U20s, but kids always play 10 because they are the best players in the team – Matt Scott, Blair Kinghorn, Sam H-C and George Horne did this, but they find their proper positions later as they go up the standards.
Pros can move from 10 to 12, going the other way rarely succeeds
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Clearly, there are some positions where only an expert will do (hooker, prop).
And 9, quite obviously – I wanted to commend Ticht on his observation over the weekend that you don’t notice how much a nine does during the game until he’s not there. We offer so much more than gobby-shiteness and box kicking. We’re the real heroes of the team, but are far too humble to bang on about it.
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@Trisk, are you an Irish speaker?
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Posted there by mistake, I’m having trouble with possessive pronouns in Scottish Gaelic, I keep mixing up agam and agad, and I’m wondering if Irish is the same. I’ve ordered a grammar book but it’s not getting here until the end of the week
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I ordered a coffee and it seems to be taking the same amount of time.
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Iks – if you fancy an early evening pint or three on the Friday, we’d be delighted!
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You’ve sent Iks running for the hills, Thauma! And everyone else it seems.
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I grew up in London – so although I have a go at it every couple of years I’m not up to much. My wife is competent and my sons seem to enjoy it at school (so they’ll be talking about not so much behind my back as in front of me)
At times, when watching the news (‘Nuacht’ as Gaeilge) I find myself understanding a surprising (for me) amount of what I’m hearing.
Agam is “ag” + me” in Irish (Tá leabhar agam = I have a book. Agad. ..I don’t recognise – I’m guessing “ag” + “du” (??) (2nd person sing.) – Irish would have “agat” = “ag”+ “tú” (Tá Gaeilge agat – you speak Irish)
The declension of pronouns is a fairly unique feature – wonder if Welsh has it ?
(for the rest of you – Irish doesn’t have “have” – to indicate possession you say instead “there is a X at me”)
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could do with a pint or 3 right now.
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‘Irish doesn’t have “have” – to indicate possession you say instead “there is a X at me”)’
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Shir I pressed post instead of return again.
Yeah Scots Gaelic is the same, no “to have” or “to own” verbs
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I found this, though
https://gaelicgrammar.org/~gaelic/mediawiki/index.php/Aig_(preposition)
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But there is a version of “my” instead of “at me” ie mo charaid is my friend
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I started the Gaelic duolingo course on the second of the month and I’ve done it every day since, it has become addictive
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Deebee – good thing you are here to bring them back.
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Yeah – Irish would be mo chara. Cara is friend but the possessive makes c “soften” to “ch”.
Gets difficult when you deal with Athair = Father and Mother = Mathair. My father is mo athair (easy enough), but my mother is mo mhathair (m “softens” to mh) which depending on (something or other) is mainly a “w” sound if found at the start but tends to represent a “v” sound (as in Niamh) at the end.
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Those are all familiar, father is ahair in Scots Gaelic and mother is mathair, with an accent on the first “a”, I suspect the pronunciations are very similar, despite the spelling.
If I become proficient it will be interesting to see how much Irish I can follow
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No stovies. Outrage
https://www.theguardian.com/food/2020/jan/27/observer-food-monthly-20-best-potato-recipes
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Or Dauphinoise or Tartiflette. a travesty of a list.
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TRAVESTY
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‘Eddie Jones has warned his England players of the curse of the World Cup finalists as they prepare for their Six Nations opener against France in Paris.’
Jeez, even Eddie’s at it now.
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I haven’t looked at the article, but it should be obvious:
1) Roast potatoes, preferably roasted in beef drippings
2) Chips
3) Potatoes cubed and roasted in duck/goose fat with rosemary and garlic
4) Pan-fried sliced potatoes cooked in lard
Er, that’s it.
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All good options but your list is a little short.
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Thauma, we can probably make that work. I’ve set the weekend aside and Claw already wondered about a Friday rendezvous for early-arrivers at a bar-restaurant he knows in the Old Town. Once the numbers are in I’ll probably book a table there for a meet and greet eve before match-day for those interested.
Nevertheless It’d be fun to meet for a pint and show you where those bars are.
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I’m afraid to ask but should I still be keeping my fingers crossed for those on here who expressed an interest in the 6N Meet depending on transport, timing, finding a job, spouse tolerance and getting one’s own arse into gear?
I’ve lived in Germany a wee while now so I feel the urge to PLAN and ORGANISE numbers for table reservations etc.
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Hooray! Glad to hear that Claw’s coming, too.
Flight gets into Frankfurt about 16:00, so hoping to be in Heidelberg around 17:30.
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Iks – I have a job interview on Friday so am hoping to still be able to make. Could just go anyway. Fuck it, as they say.
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Courtney Laws standing up to intersectional feminism:
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Craigs, I’m not a Tweeterer so have no idea how to follow the thread or what the outrage is? Also don’t have my glasses on so can’t read the fine print. Is Lawes being accused of teabagging someone on the Webs? Is he guilty?
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The only twittering Deebee needs to understand is videos of RG Snyman playing 9 levels above
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*considers a taunt about the cricket but realises that the RWC was more important and the loss too painful*
Deebs – he disagreed with her when she called someone she disagrees with a ‘Brown Girl Bootlicker’ for the patriarchy. She was sarcastic back. He implied that she has a lot of cat’s.
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Tbh the more I look at Mona Eltahawy’s Twitter profile the more I dislike her. Go ahead Courtney, talk about her cats.
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I thought Eddie’s England very cleverly exorcised the curse of losing world cup finalists by cramming all the misery and ineptitude into their own performance in the final, as if a future GS was the bigger prize.
They should be as right as rain for a 6N GS, unless Ireland awake from the post-coital slumber they’ve been in since beating the All Blacks somewhere in America.
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Craigs, taunt away. We were stuffed out of sight after the 1st Test. Almost as if the glare of the shiny Webb Ellis trophy was getting in our batsmen’s eyes all day.
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No idea what it is all about but calling someone a crazy cat lady is as crass and judgmental as any other stereotypical insult, racist or otherwise.
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EPCR 15-player longlist for player of the tournaments:
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Lawes appears to agree with Piers Morgan at one point. Game, Set and Checkmate to Mona.
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She called Courtney Lawes a racist rugby player.
Nice.
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Pretty sure I remember Mona writing some seriously irritating articles on Cif. But then Courtney is equally awful.
It’s a scoreless draw.
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OT – I saw that, but why? Is she unaware that he’s black, or did he in fact say something racist?
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… I suppose there are other possibilities!
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