IRELAND: No Backspace
A brief, incomprehensive preview of Ireland’s Six Nations 2020, written fast
Having muffed the entire last calendar year, Irish rugby returns to Europe feeling sorry for itself. The normal provincial success continues, but means nothing come the bitter dawn of the first weekend of February. It’s Six Nations time.
Daddy Faz is our new leader and he’s talked a lot of fan-service shite about how we’ll be a pure-running Irish team, ferocious and feral and flames for eyes. His actual vision for the side will get its first public airing this weekend. Many of the personnel are the same as the World Cup – too many, in a particular rather than strategic sense – but this still represents a period of major change.
Yet change is not to be feared. The history of Ireland at Rugby World Cups shows that a constant state of flux is, paradoxically, needed to maintain standards as well as develop them. 2019 was as clear an example as 2007 of the desiccated horror of trying to take a successful side that has just hit a peak and shield it from the passage of time. The only ways to stop a tiger changing daily are death and taxidermy.
And, so, we come to another paradox. Minimal changes of personnel at this time are not necessarily expressions of fear of that which is new. We could have bucked out everyone over the age of 30 – but we’re not picking the 2023 World Cup team in January 2020. We must be prepared to keep evolving in perpetuity. No need for do-something panic now.
This weekend’s team:
Spuds: Healy, Herring, Furlong, Henderson, Ryan, Stander, van der Flier, Doris
Gravy: Murray, Sexton, Stockdale, Aki, Ringrose, Conway, Larmour
Seconds: Kelleher, Kilcoyne, Porter, Toner, O’Mahony, Cooney, Ross Byrne, Henshaw
Johnny Sexton is the captain, and this is OK. He remains our best ten by a way and is one of a handful of nailed-on starters. If there is an issue with his captaincy, it’s not his age or his ability – it’s his captaincy. The key part of the job is dealing with the ref and, while he seems a charming and self-effacing man when in his civvies, game-day Johnny Sexton is an insufferable wanker. He makes enemies of the whistlers and, while recently he has tried smiling and coercion (and looked unnatural doing so), he’s only one perceived affront away from calling Romain Poîte a brainless snaildick. Contrast with your memories of perfect-son-in-law Sam Warburton and the issue is clear.
Conor Murray’s selection is a poor call. Conor of the past 12 months or so is not the champion player of the years prior. He’s not been bad, per se, and his imperiousness may still return. The issue is alternatives. John Cooney has been the most influential player in Europe this year.
Peter O’Mahony has been unshovellable shite for a year and the fact he made the Six Nations squad at all should have been questioned. Overall, his previous body of work makes that the right call – but picking him in a match-day 23 is frankly the wrong choice. The starting back row looks well-balanced, and chucking 21-year-old Doris straight in barely feels like a risk. However, Max Deegan or Jack O’Donoghue should be on the bench – with the choice of which made on a tactical and stylistic basis rather than trying to decide which of the two great athletes in great form best deserve the number 20 shirt.
Anyway, it’s just one weekend. The variable calls:
- which of four centres gets to play beside Ringrose?
- Larmour or Addison, or maybe both?
- the selected front rows look like our best six, but each of the calls could go either way – do we have a best front row, and do we even need a clear starting trio?
And so we will have room to breathe over the course of the tournament. A tournament we can win (we won’t, England will).
Now is the time for experimentation, to a point. But Andy Farrell does not get a free hit. Anything less than three wins is failure and, ultimately, we’re in it to win it.
Scotland by 50.
ENDS
Preview courtesy of EnzoM
WALES: The Dog That Didn’t Know Whether to be Under or Over
With apologies to Edmund Spenser:
One day they wrote his name upon the sheet,
But at night I came and washed it all away.
Again they wrote it in media and tweet
But in I crept, and made the twittering my prey.
Vain man! cried they, to wipe his name away
A frightening act, a cruel spine-tingler
To ensure Wayne Pivac forgets Aaron Shingler
Link to Squad for the 2020 Guinness Six Nations
Team to play Italy in Cardiff:
Leigh Halfpenny; Johnny McNicholl, George North, Hadleigh Parkes, Josh Adams; Dan Biggar, Tomos Williams; Wyn Jones, Ken Owens, Dillon Lewis, Jake Ball, Alun Wyn Jones (capt), Aaron Wainwright, Justin Tipuric, Taulupe Faletau.
Replacements: Ryan Elias, Rob Evans, Leon Brown, Cory Hill, Ross Moriarty, Rhys Webb, Jarrod Evans, Nick Tompkins.
Endings & Beginnings
As Wales sings Po Atarau / Now is the Hour to bid a fond farewell to Warren Gatland and Shaun Edwards, and a jauntier ‘I’ll Bet you a Kangaroo’ to help Howley hop off, the mood in the Heimat is unexpectedly optimistic.
Wayne Pivac seems to have seamlessly sewn himself into Warren’s catsuit, sorry tracksuit, and the players have gone through the four stages of post-RWC grief faster than a Greased-Zammit down a slippurly slurp℠.
Rather than the sour reek of sweaty anxiety, there’s the fresh morning air of new dawns and bright horizons. Players appear well-rested and happy to be in the new coaching set-up, and the injuries are not casting long shadows over the squad, even though some top players and Handsome Legends are missing.
But…
It’s in times like these that Wales can turn in some honking performances, especially in their opening 6N encounters at home, when all the optimism and expectation dissolves into blunt, turgid attack and weak, chaotic defence. Home cheers fade into murmurings about the bloody roof being open. Or closed.
But fair’s fair, a good old underdogging seems inappropriate, so like a Frankfurter in a bap I will settle for some in-between dogging followed by complete fantasy with my forecasts.
Saturday’s Match vs Italy
Wales have opted for a solid start, fielding an experienced line-up and just one new cap. We’ve flirted with North at 13 before and not much happened, good or bad. These days George is a more seasoned and moderate player, no longer the impetuous young buck throwing homophobes over his shoulder for fun. George has never been great positionally, but I hope his experience and maturity nails the position down for the duration of the Championship.
McNicholl is the only first-capper and Halfpenny’s selection at 15 is a wise move, so we should see some exciting counterattacking running from our Welsh Johnny. Let’s hope it doesn’t lead to a lot of turnovers because his teammates can’t keep up.
Wales are likely to creak in the scrum, but lineouts should be efficient enough with Tipuric and Wainwright doing a lot of the leaping at the tail. As great as it is to see Faletau back, I’m not getting carried away as it is still a long way back to his 2015 Lions Tour form and fitness.
Ball will no doubt go about his ball-carrying like a pig snouts truffle, but he makes some hard yards and plenty of tackles. AWJ will hopefully be his niggly, majestic self and lead from the front.
Prediction: a stuttering 23-11 Wales victory.
Round 2. Away to Ireland
Our first away match is against Ireland, and the Irish look like tournament favourites with both a strong team littered with in-form players, and the desire to lay to rest their World Cup ghosts and memories.
Unfortunately, Scotland seem determined to undermine their own chances in the opener against Ireland, so Wales will be up against a green wave of Grand Slam expectation.
Prediction: a brave effort but a narrow 29-23 Welsh defeat.
Fantasy Rugby 1. Home to France
I think France are really fed-up of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory against Wales, and this will be a big match for them. Time to unburden some true Welsh pessimism and imagine the worst.
After a bruising encounter in Dublin, Faletau leaves for an early Bath with another broken arm-bone. North and Halfpenny haven’t recovered from their HIAs and Greased-Zammit starts on the wing with Welsh Johnny switching to full back. Pivac has his full ‘Welsh Way’ moment and picks Willowy Shingler at 6, drafts Owen Williams into inside centre to replace a stolid Mr. Glue, with Bury my Heart at Watkin’s Knee selected at OC.
Big Dan Biggar spends the entire match kicking grubbers into the French in-goal area for Zammit to chase like a spaniel. France score five breakaway tries and Owen Williams reveals his wonky temperament by being red carded for scramming Fickou in the face during a touchline tussle.
Prediction: Wales lose 13-49 and Barry John calls for Pivac to be replaced by Rob Howley
Fantasy Rugby 2. The Miracle in Twickenham
After the madness in Cardiff, normal service is resumed and Wales return to full strength, except for Faletau. Halfpenny and North are recalled, and Liam starts on the wing. Wainwright replaces Shingles, and a fired-up Moriarty comes in at 8.
England are marching towards a Slam after victories over France, Scotland, and the BIG ONE against Ireland. Eddie is basking in a contract extension until 2027, making him the best paid coach in RU history.
After 60 minutes England are winning comfortably without stretching away. Pivac plays his joker and turns to his Dragons on the bench. Dee for Owens, Brown for Lewis, Hill for Ball, and squad replacement Tyler Morgan for wee Georgie North.
My-oh-my, what a comeback. A brace from Brown and a classic outside break from Morgan brings the score back to within one point. Greased-Zammit enters the fray while England are camped on the Welsh 5-metre line with 5 minutes to go.
A re-set scrum and Dee strikes against the head! Tomos feeds Biggar who feigns a touch-kick but slips a pass to Morgan. A step sends Billy V into Row C, creating space to free Zammit! Zammit scorches the length of the field to score like a Welsh Andy Hancock – in half the time.
Prediction: England 21-25 Wales
Fantasy Rugby 3. Highland Flings in Cardiff
After their surprise win against France, new Scottish Player-Coach Finn Russell selects the same team while captaining the side for the second time. Wales are also unchanged.
Both sides are committed to playing high-risk running rugby under a closed roof. Madness ensues, and the game ends 49-all, while breaking all records for the highest number of knock-ons ever recorded in an international rugby match. Finn invites both sides for a celebratory night out in Newport, where more pints are spilled than consumed. News comes in from Scotland that Toony and Hoggy have eloped. Jim Telfer’s neck explodes.
Preview courtesy of MisterIks
On the telly this week (SIX NATIONS!!!)
Friday 31st January
| Blues v Chiefs | 06:05 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Brumbies v Reds | 08:15 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Sharks v Bulls | 17:10 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Ireland U20 v Scotland U20 | 19:15 | YouTube / RTÉ TWO |
| Wales U20 v Italy U20 | 19:35 | S4C |
Saturday 1st February
| Sunwolves v Melbourne Rebels | 03:45 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Crusaders v Waratahs | 06:05 | Sky Sports Mix |
| Stormers v Hurricanes | 13:05 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Wales v Italy | 14:15 | BBC One / S4C |
| Cheetahs v Southern Kings | 15:00 | Freesports |
| Ireland v Scotland | 16:45 | ITV |
| France U20 v England U20 | 20:00 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Los Jaguares v Lions | 23:00 | Sky Sports Mix |
Sunday 2nd February
| France v England (women) | 12:30 | Sky Sports Mix |
| Exeter v Harlequins | 13:00 | BT Sport 2 |
| Wales v Italy (women) | 13:00 | BBC Two Wales |
| Ireland v Scotland (women) | 13:00 | BBC Alba / red button |
| France v England | 15:00 | BBC One |
Ovally Balls 
Deebee – you’ve got mail.
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Squidge is a good chuckle.
Breast of Duck Craigs…..
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Wins this weekend for Scotland, Wales and France.
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You been peeking at my ‘bru picks, Avs?
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I believe you’ve been peeking at mine……I made mine three days ago, I think.
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I go with wins for France, Ireland and England (the last 2 against my wishes, but what I see happening nonetheless)
Scotland are a good team, and I hope they win. Their pack stood up well against the Irish, and I was impressed with Hasting and the BR, but England are a step up again in terms of power. England won’t be as bad again. Curry will wear 8 as a face saver for little Eddie, but Ludlam (who has played in the boot) will pack there on attacking ball. Not a fan of Farrell at 12 (much as I like him at 10) and if former Canterbury reserve Heinz is the best available 9…
That said, the front 5 looks formidable, the outside backs incisive (glad they didn’t discard the FB and gave him another go). Close, but England to edge it
Ireland also in a close one. Wales have a lot going for them (BR, Biggar, AWJ, wings) but Ireland’s set piece and home advantage (which shouldn’t count nowadays in this brave new world of full time highly paid pros, but does) will see them through in torrid conditions. Ireland’s bench looks to have more oomph as well. The game where Wales miss Gats/Edwards influence to get them over the line
France, well even without the mighty Vakatawa, they have too much for Italy in all depts and will steamroller them. As an aside, I am concerned with this “only Italy” thing.. I mean no criticism of posters who have said it (I myself am thinking it). Just that it is sad when one of the 6 are routinely (and correctly) dismissed as not being genuine competition for their opponents. They have really fallen back over past few years to the point where it is “5N + an easy game”. Don’t have any suggestions, but hope they turn someone over at some point this year – it won’t be France, though
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Utna, player for player, there aren’t many I covet from the England team these days, not compared to years gone by.
The biggest change for us is that Sutherland is now injury free (crosses fingers) he is a good international prop, likewise Zander Fagerson on the tighthead turned 24 last week, he is getting there.
Itoje is a dick, but he is the only one I’d want over his Scottish counterpart. I used to really like him as a player when he was a kid, but he has supped at the wind-up font and he acts like an arsehole on the pitch now, the head pats are shite.
Both our scrum halves are better, Hastings is the young guy on the block, Johnson v Farrell at 12 is a match of two very different players, the 13s are similar, May is a game breaker, so is Kinghorn, but with less experience/confidence at this level.
Hogg v Furbank isn’t a contest.
It all comes down to the packs, as per, especially as it’s supposed to be dogawful weather
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It was somewhat ironic Eddie playing the niggle card, with Itoje, Sinck, Marler and Mako in his pack. Not to mention Faz.
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Avs, basically, England have to lose, and lose heavily, for the good of the game, the good of sport in general and the well being of humankind
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Itoje is playing a role Ticht. Outside the pitch he is a great lad.
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‘England have to lose, and lose heavily, for the good of the game, the good of sport in general and the well being of humankind’
That’s the spirit. We’re fecked.
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“Itoje is playing a role Ticht. Outside the pitch he is a great lad.”
No doubt, but off the pitch is of no concern to me, I’m not an England or Sarries fan, on the pitch he’s a bit of a dick
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I thought England got the losing for the good of humankind out of the way last weekend and we could all then relax and enjoy the rest of the tournament knowing they’re not going to win a slam. Then again it’s not my team playing them next.
I’m with Utna, wins for Ireland, England and France though of course I hope it isn’t so.
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Mako Avs? A more quiet and level headed prop you’ll never see. Just gets on with it.
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Fancy Wales to push ireland all the way but home advantage will tell.
The other games are mismatches and will be walk overs.
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I heard that he hid Nick Tompkins shoes after training at Saracens.
You’d never see a classy lock like Alun Wyn do that. He even helps Tompkins with the laces.
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Not watching it but seems the Sharks are under pressure after leading 30-3 in Dunedin. 30-15 now.
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Sharks win 42-20. Their outside backs looking very sharp.
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Sharks have looked very good in their 1st couple of outings.
The kiwi sides dont look so DOMINANT this year. Even the Crusaders, who won well, dont seem to have the firepower of old.
Aussie sides not up to much.
Could a SA side break the long duck this year? Or the Argentinians?
Probably not. Crusaders again, methinks
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I always went up a gear or two when I got myself into a real prick mindset. Know plenty of others who were the same. Am largely inoffended by it. I don’t like acting like a prick but if it’s only for two hours and it’ll make you a better player, so what? And if you’re playing top-level ball and this applies to you then I feel you are beholden to embrace prickyness.
Watched a video of Jim Hamilton picking the best Six Nations XV of guys he played against. He put Big Sexy at nine, said Mike would spend the whole match telling opponents “You’re shit.” Excellent.
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Oh yes. Oh yes yes yes:
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Stormers or Sharks if it is to be. Bulls have lost too many and have horrible schedule. Deebee’s Lions aren’t good.
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I miss BiMi so much!
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Brumbies vs Rebels match has a Zebre vs Kings vibe going.
Top level sh*te
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Big Sexy with the Big Chat. Legend.
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@TomP
Sharks are Natal, yes? Who are Stormers in old money?
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Brumbies actually starting to play quite well. Considering upgrading them to “Dragons” status.
Is there a more handsome ref in world rugby than Nic Berry?
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Stephen Hoiles with, quite possibly, the greatest comment ever
“they have a saying down here, the Brumbies. When it gets to 4 tries, they call it ‘showtime’!”
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Utna, Stormers are WP – the Mountain Goats.
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‘The other games are mismatches and will be walk overs.’
Yup, England by 66
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England were a much more civilised team when Wade Dooley was in the second row.
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Ah, ‘civilised’
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Salt of the earth our Wade.
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Those were the days OT. Ackford and Dooley winning every line out. Andrews booting it off the park 150000 times a match.
I swear I saw Andrews kick to the corner when he had an unopposed run to the line a few times.
Rugby was not very good back then, for all its entertaining charms.
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Every team has their pricks.
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Hung like a horse, according to Mick “the Munch” Skinner
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Bit late to this but I’ve just noticed the Ireland u20 outside centre is Danny Kelly. I went to school with both his mum and dad which makes me feel a bit old. He must qualify through grandparents as his folks didn’t exactly rock a Michael Flatley vibe.
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Chimpie – Are you starting to feel a little bit more bullish? It was 67 a couple of days back.
Seriously though. I’ve never seen a team fall off so quickly and definitely not seen one improve as much as we need to from the utter mess we were last week, in 6 days. Many of the players are the same but the whole system fell apart.
Scotland looked really good, just missed a bit of magic close to the line. Oh and Hogg did that thing.
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“rock a Michael Flatley vibe”
This should be the official eligibility criteria . Save all these complex qualification rules.
What would some other teams be?
intrinsic evil for England obviously.
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I played against Wade Dooley once. Well after his England days at a much lower level. Still fond of a sly punch or an “accidental” boot (not that I was anywhere near him). Giant of a man
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I’ll take Itoje being a prick who wins us games over the Lanky days when we picked nice guys who meant we had a pack with no bite (thanks masters Parling, Robshaw and Croft).
Much happier with the selection and hoping Earl brings his Sarries form to an England shirt, he can genuinely play 8 and could be a real class act in a few years – that said, it’s going to be awful weather apparently, and still have a shaky 15 and Youngs to ruin things from the bench.
Think it’ll be a reverse of last week, strong first 60 and then we’ll lose it with the benches, Scotland by 7-10.
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That’s a margin of 7-10, not a score of 10-7 total (although that’s not an inconceivable scoreline!)
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‘Chimpie – Are you starting to feel a little bit more bullish? It was 67 a couple of days back.’
Think the weather will keep the scores down a bit.
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One of the most entertaining things I’ve seen in rugby punditry is Alfie hiding his face behind his hand in embarrassment at Big Sexy being a dick as a co-pundit during the world cup
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I’m not a fan of being a dick on the park, particularly things like Sexton rolling around holding his jaw like he’d just been skelped by Anthony Joshua, trying to get Watson sent off.
Watson had tackled Sexton and hit Sexton’s shoulder with his chest.
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Yes Hogg did similar a good few years ago, dick
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My bets would be Ireland by half a score, Scotland by a score and France by two.
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Ticht, there is a big difference between feigning injury and acting stupidly like Itoje at each line out. The first one should be a YC, whereas the second just warrants a free kick.
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Flair, France will win by more than four scores, I don’t like Italy being so poor but they are and France will blow them away in the first half, the part of the game Italy can be competitive
Home advantage will see Ireland through.
Obviously my heart says Scotland will win but the weather forecast is awful and traditionally England’s tight five are a powerful beast. Our lineout was awful last week, I think this will be a step up in terms of the scrum.
I can’t possibly post what my head thinks the score will be
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All teams have the niggly pricks. Just seems people are more able to celebrate their own and get wound iup by others.
feigning injury is really crap though. I used to quite like football but it got so bad I can barely appreciate the good stuff anymore.
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