IRELAND: No Backspace
A brief, incomprehensive preview of Ireland’s Six Nations 2020, written fast
Having muffed the entire last calendar year, Irish rugby returns to Europe feeling sorry for itself. The normal provincial success continues, but means nothing come the bitter dawn of the first weekend of February. It’s Six Nations time.
Daddy Faz is our new leader and he’s talked a lot of fan-service shite about how we’ll be a pure-running Irish team, ferocious and feral and flames for eyes. His actual vision for the side will get its first public airing this weekend. Many of the personnel are the same as the World Cup – too many, in a particular rather than strategic sense – but this still represents a period of major change.
Yet change is not to be feared. The history of Ireland at Rugby World Cups shows that a constant state of flux is, paradoxically, needed to maintain standards as well as develop them. 2019 was as clear an example as 2007 of the desiccated horror of trying to take a successful side that has just hit a peak and shield it from the passage of time. The only ways to stop a tiger changing daily are death and taxidermy.
And, so, we come to another paradox. Minimal changes of personnel at this time are not necessarily expressions of fear of that which is new. We could have bucked out everyone over the age of 30 – but we’re not picking the 2023 World Cup team in January 2020. We must be prepared to keep evolving in perpetuity. No need for do-something panic now.
This weekend’s team:
Spuds: Healy, Herring, Furlong, Henderson, Ryan, Stander, van der Flier, Doris
Gravy: Murray, Sexton, Stockdale, Aki, Ringrose, Conway, Larmour
Seconds: Kelleher, Kilcoyne, Porter, Toner, O’Mahony, Cooney, Ross Byrne, Henshaw
Johnny Sexton is the captain, and this is OK. He remains our best ten by a way and is one of a handful of nailed-on starters. If there is an issue with his captaincy, it’s not his age or his ability – it’s his captaincy. The key part of the job is dealing with the ref and, while he seems a charming and self-effacing man when in his civvies, game-day Johnny Sexton is an insufferable wanker. He makes enemies of the whistlers and, while recently he has tried smiling and coercion (and looked unnatural doing so), he’s only one perceived affront away from calling Romain Poîte a brainless snaildick. Contrast with your memories of perfect-son-in-law Sam Warburton and the issue is clear.
Conor Murray’s selection is a poor call. Conor of the past 12 months or so is not the champion player of the years prior. He’s not been bad, per se, and his imperiousness may still return. The issue is alternatives. John Cooney has been the most influential player in Europe this year.
Peter O’Mahony has been unshovellable shite for a year and the fact he made the Six Nations squad at all should have been questioned. Overall, his previous body of work makes that the right call – but picking him in a match-day 23 is frankly the wrong choice. The starting back row looks well-balanced, and chucking 21-year-old Doris straight in barely feels like a risk. However, Max Deegan or Jack O’Donoghue should be on the bench – with the choice of which made on a tactical and stylistic basis rather than trying to decide which of the two great athletes in great form best deserve the number 20 shirt.
Anyway, it’s just one weekend. The variable calls:
- which of four centres gets to play beside Ringrose?
- Larmour or Addison, or maybe both?
- the selected front rows look like our best six, but each of the calls could go either way – do we have a best front row, and do we even need a clear starting trio?
And so we will have room to breathe over the course of the tournament. A tournament we can win (we won’t, England will).
Now is the time for experimentation, to a point. But Andy Farrell does not get a free hit. Anything less than three wins is failure and, ultimately, we’re in it to win it.
Scotland by 50.
ENDS
Preview courtesy of EnzoM
WALES: The Dog That Didn’t Know Whether to be Under or Over
With apologies to Edmund Spenser:
One day they wrote his name upon the sheet,
But at night I came and washed it all away.
Again they wrote it in media and tweet
But in I crept, and made the twittering my prey.
Vain man! cried they, to wipe his name away
A frightening act, a cruel spine-tingler
To ensure Wayne Pivac forgets Aaron Shingler
Link to Squad for the 2020 Guinness Six Nations
Team to play Italy in Cardiff:
Leigh Halfpenny; Johnny McNicholl, George North, Hadleigh Parkes, Josh Adams; Dan Biggar, Tomos Williams; Wyn Jones, Ken Owens, Dillon Lewis, Jake Ball, Alun Wyn Jones (capt), Aaron Wainwright, Justin Tipuric, Taulupe Faletau.
Replacements: Ryan Elias, Rob Evans, Leon Brown, Cory Hill, Ross Moriarty, Rhys Webb, Jarrod Evans, Nick Tompkins.
Endings & Beginnings
As Wales sings Po Atarau / Now is the Hour to bid a fond farewell to Warren Gatland and Shaun Edwards, and a jauntier ‘I’ll Bet you a Kangaroo’ to help Howley hop off, the mood in the Heimat is unexpectedly optimistic.
Wayne Pivac seems to have seamlessly sewn himself into Warren’s catsuit, sorry tracksuit, and the players have gone through the four stages of post-RWC grief faster than a Greased-Zammit down a slippurly slurp℠.
Rather than the sour reek of sweaty anxiety, there’s the fresh morning air of new dawns and bright horizons. Players appear well-rested and happy to be in the new coaching set-up, and the injuries are not casting long shadows over the squad, even though some top players and Handsome Legends are missing.
But…
It’s in times like these that Wales can turn in some honking performances, especially in their opening 6N encounters at home, when all the optimism and expectation dissolves into blunt, turgid attack and weak, chaotic defence. Home cheers fade into murmurings about the bloody roof being open. Or closed.
But fair’s fair, a good old underdogging seems inappropriate, so like a Frankfurter in a bap I will settle for some in-between dogging followed by complete fantasy with my forecasts.
Saturday’s Match vs Italy
Wales have opted for a solid start, fielding an experienced line-up and just one new cap. We’ve flirted with North at 13 before and not much happened, good or bad. These days George is a more seasoned and moderate player, no longer the impetuous young buck throwing homophobes over his shoulder for fun. George has never been great positionally, but I hope his experience and maturity nails the position down for the duration of the Championship.
McNicholl is the only first-capper and Halfpenny’s selection at 15 is a wise move, so we should see some exciting counterattacking running from our Welsh Johnny. Let’s hope it doesn’t lead to a lot of turnovers because his teammates can’t keep up.
Wales are likely to creak in the scrum, but lineouts should be efficient enough with Tipuric and Wainwright doing a lot of the leaping at the tail. As great as it is to see Faletau back, I’m not getting carried away as it is still a long way back to his 2015 Lions Tour form and fitness.
Ball will no doubt go about his ball-carrying like a pig snouts truffle, but he makes some hard yards and plenty of tackles. AWJ will hopefully be his niggly, majestic self and lead from the front.
Prediction: a stuttering 23-11 Wales victory.
Round 2. Away to Ireland
Our first away match is against Ireland, and the Irish look like tournament favourites with both a strong team littered with in-form players, and the desire to lay to rest their World Cup ghosts and memories.
Unfortunately, Scotland seem determined to undermine their own chances in the opener against Ireland, so Wales will be up against a green wave of Grand Slam expectation.
Prediction: a brave effort but a narrow 29-23 Welsh defeat.
Fantasy Rugby 1. Home to France
I think France are really fed-up of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory against Wales, and this will be a big match for them. Time to unburden some true Welsh pessimism and imagine the worst.
After a bruising encounter in Dublin, Faletau leaves for an early Bath with another broken arm-bone. North and Halfpenny haven’t recovered from their HIAs and Greased-Zammit starts on the wing with Welsh Johnny switching to full back. Pivac has his full ‘Welsh Way’ moment and picks Willowy Shingler at 6, drafts Owen Williams into inside centre to replace a stolid Mr. Glue, with Bury my Heart at Watkin’s Knee selected at OC.
Big Dan Biggar spends the entire match kicking grubbers into the French in-goal area for Zammit to chase like a spaniel. France score five breakaway tries and Owen Williams reveals his wonky temperament by being red carded for scramming Fickou in the face during a touchline tussle.
Prediction: Wales lose 13-49 and Barry John calls for Pivac to be replaced by Rob Howley
Fantasy Rugby 2. The Miracle in Twickenham
After the madness in Cardiff, normal service is resumed and Wales return to full strength, except for Faletau. Halfpenny and North are recalled, and Liam starts on the wing. Wainwright replaces Shingles, and a fired-up Moriarty comes in at 8.
England are marching towards a Slam after victories over France, Scotland, and the BIG ONE against Ireland. Eddie is basking in a contract extension until 2027, making him the best paid coach in RU history.
After 60 minutes England are winning comfortably without stretching away. Pivac plays his joker and turns to his Dragons on the bench. Dee for Owens, Brown for Lewis, Hill for Ball, and squad replacement Tyler Morgan for wee Georgie North.
My-oh-my, what a comeback. A brace from Brown and a classic outside break from Morgan brings the score back to within one point. Greased-Zammit enters the fray while England are camped on the Welsh 5-metre line with 5 minutes to go.
A re-set scrum and Dee strikes against the head! Tomos feeds Biggar who feigns a touch-kick but slips a pass to Morgan. A step sends Billy V into Row C, creating space to free Zammit! Zammit scorches the length of the field to score like a Welsh Andy Hancock – in half the time.
Prediction: England 21-25 Wales
Fantasy Rugby 3. Highland Flings in Cardiff
After their surprise win against France, new Scottish Player-Coach Finn Russell selects the same team while captaining the side for the second time. Wales are also unchanged.
Both sides are committed to playing high-risk running rugby under a closed roof. Madness ensues, and the game ends 49-all, while breaking all records for the highest number of knock-ons ever recorded in an international rugby match. Finn invites both sides for a celebratory night out in Newport, where more pints are spilled than consumed. News comes in from Scotland that Toony and Hoggy have eloped. Jim Telfer’s neck explodes.
Preview courtesy of MisterIks
On the telly this week (SIX NATIONS!!!)
Friday 31st January
| Blues v Chiefs | 06:05 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Brumbies v Reds | 08:15 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Sharks v Bulls | 17:10 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Ireland U20 v Scotland U20 | 19:15 | YouTube / RTÉ TWO |
| Wales U20 v Italy U20 | 19:35 | S4C |
Saturday 1st February
| Sunwolves v Melbourne Rebels | 03:45 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Crusaders v Waratahs | 06:05 | Sky Sports Mix |
| Stormers v Hurricanes | 13:05 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Wales v Italy | 14:15 | BBC One / S4C |
| Cheetahs v Southern Kings | 15:00 | Freesports |
| Ireland v Scotland | 16:45 | ITV |
| France U20 v England U20 | 20:00 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Los Jaguares v Lions | 23:00 | Sky Sports Mix |
Sunday 2nd February
| France v England (women) | 12:30 | Sky Sports Mix |
| Exeter v Harlequins | 13:00 | BT Sport 2 |
| Wales v Italy (women) | 13:00 | BBC Two Wales |
| Ireland v Scotland (women) | 13:00 | BBC Alba / red button |
| France v England | 15:00 | BBC One |
Ovally Balls 
Yes our lineout was minging bad last week. That’ll be a big weapon for England considering the conditions, can see them booting for touch at every opportunity.
Think I’ll have to put it back up to England by 67.
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Flair, it’s the patting opposition players on the head that I find unacceptable, in Glasgow when the home team had scored a try that was to be disallowed Itoje took the time out to go over and do a mock celebration “at” the Glasgow players.
I find it all a bit dishonourable, does that make me a dinosaur?
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Everyone is a bad guy; there are no good guys.
But Ireland are the real baddies.
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Have always liked the variation where a player does something dickish and then pretends to be injured to avoid sanction. No Excel nearby to find an example, unfortunately.
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Thing is Ticht, a lack of power up front was, amongst other things, a big problem for us last week. Conversely Scotland competed way better with Irelands pack (and indeed got the better of them in the scrums) than I’ve seen them in recent years. The gap , if there is one at all, is much smaller.
Scotland have the back row to really mess up our ball, which isn’t going to help when even with good ball we were static and clueless in attack last week.
It’s been said I’m prone to being less than optimistic at times, perhaps, but I genuinely don’t think it will be close unless we improve massively and Scotland are below their best.
Thing is, France weren’t really anything special, which I think will be shown in the next few weeks. We really were that bad.
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@ticht
I saw that and must admit it made me laugh. It’s funny cos it’s a bit naughty.
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Three fly halfs, Biggar, Sexton and Farrell, moaning-pussed gits all of them, but there is something about Farrell that makes me like him, he has a glint in his eye, he can be giving the ref the real hair drier treatment then turn around and wink and smile at his team mates.
Maybe that makes it worse, the fact he doesn’t mean it, but he made me laugh a couple of times
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Confess I though the Maro Mock celebration at Glasgow was a bit funny in those particular circumstances.
Not a fan of the head pat etc. in general.
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didn’t see much arse-patting going on for England last week. Maybe that’s what’s missing. Bring back that league guy.
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I’m with Larry. I dont mind players being dicks on the field, with the proviso that if you give it, you have to be able to take it.
In my younger days, I was a bit of a dick when playing. Calmed down as I got older (at least on the pitch).
I thought that Itoje thing was funny, but in the old days, someone would have thumped him. And so on to my objections to dickishness
A lot of it is now calculated to goad a response, rather than just to put opponents off their game / fire yourself up. If an opponent does react and, say, throw a punch, then they are the ones sanctioned
The feigning injury stuff is total BS
BiMi is my hero. Absolute legend.
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Agreed on the lowly status of the head pat. I remember the first scrum of the England vs Australia 2007 RWC quarter final.
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The known unknowns are leading me to think Scotland are in with a shout. The weather should nullify any repeat of last year’s high scoring game of two halves.
Scotland need to find that old fashioned chasing, spoiling, harassing frenzy of Murrayfield games of yore to keep England from settling into their potentially dominant routines and game plan. How England cope if put under intense pressure again this week might be the key to the game. Scotland can’t ship early points and allow England to settle though.
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Damn pressed enter too soon.
First scrum Australia won a penalty and George Smith patted Mark Regan on the head. England scrum then proceeded to demolish the Aussies for the rest of the match, leading to a highly improbable victory.
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I love Dan Biggar too. My absolute favorite player nowadays.
Know he gives it out to everyone, but he backs it up 100%. One of the gutsiest players, and real quality, albeit not much pace.
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Scotland can’t ship early points and allow England to settle though.
This is a salient point. If Scotland get off to a flier, and the home crowd get going, then its going to be tough for England to stay with them.
If England control the tempo, and the scoreboard, early on and get their front 5 and kickers to the fore, it will be a long afternoon for the Scots
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Utna, did you see the UK coverage of the world cup with Alfie and BiMi?
It was genuinely hilarious, Alfie’s embarrassment at BiMi’s braggadocio was really funny.
I think, I hope, BiMi was self aware enough to get the joke
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@ticht
Unfortunately not. I dont get much Uk tv.
In my opinion, BiMi is well aware and its all a bit tongue in cheek
“were you at Racing with Dan Carter?”
“who is he? Nah, he was at Racing with me”
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Agree the start is key – if we give an early score like last week, we’re going to lose. Crowd will be all over us and all the doubts will start to creep in, dropped balls etc.
If we can get a couple of pens and ride the first 10-15 then we’ll have a chance.
It’s so depressing that we’re so mentally fragile and unable to adapt to pressure coming on.
So in light of that and the likelihood being we do give an early score, Scotland by 25.
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When we flew away for tours, we were fortunate enough to be put in business class on these flights.
We’d get our tickets and every time Mike would get his, he’d hand it in and say ‘there’s something wrong with this ticket’.
And the man or woman behind the counter would say ‘no there’s not, it’s business class’ and he’d reply ‘well, where’s world class?
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I think whoever scores the most points will win.
England by 68.
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For OT – Baby Kelly is not quite the only English accent in this 23 but he is the only fella not with one of the provinces right now. Given the name I suspect paternal grandad, at least, is from my side of the water.
15. Oran McNulty (Millfield School/Galway Corinthians RFC/Connacht)
14. Ben Moxham (Larne High School/Ballymena RFC/Ulster)
13. Dan Kelly (Kirkham Grammar/Loughborough University/IQ Rugby)
12. Hayden Hyde (Cranleigh School/Ballynahinch RFC/Ulster)
11. Andrew Smith (St. Michael’s College/Clontarf FC/Leinster)
10. Jack Crowley (Bandon RFC/Cork Constitution FC/Munster)
9. Lewis Finlay (Down High School/Malone RFC/Ulster)
1. Marcus Hanan (Clane RFC/Old Belvedere RFC/Leinster)
2. Tom Stewart (Belfast Royal Academy/Ballynahinch RFC/Ulster)
3. Thomas Clarkson (Blackrock College/Dublin University FC/Leinster)
4. Thomas Ahern (Waterpark RFC/Shannon RFC/Munster)
5. Brian Deeny (Wexford Wanderers RFC/Clontarf FC/Leinster)
6. Sean O’Brien (Blackrock College/UCD RFC/Leinster)
7. Mark Hernan (St. Michael’s College/Lansdowne FC/Leinster)
8. David McCann (RBAI/Banbridge RFC/Ulster) (capt)
Replacements:
16. John McKee (Campbell College/Old Belvedere RFC/Leinster)
17. Harry Noonan (Greystones RFC/Old Wesley RFC/Leinster)
18. Charlie Ward (Tullow RFC/Clontarf FC/Leinster)
19. Joe McCarthy (Blackrock College/Dublin University FC/Leinster)
20. Cian Prendergast (Newbridge College/UCD RFC/Leinster)
21. Ben Murphy (Presentation College Bray/Clontarf FC/Leinster)
22. Tim Corkery (Kilkenny RFC/Lansdowne FC/Leinster)
23. Luis Faria (Newpark Comprehensive/Dublin University FC/Leinster)
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Michael Flatley’s from Chicago.
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Obviously he was trying to draw the ref’s attention to it but he took in the jaw (and it was likely quite sore).
Probably just a penalty IMO but there you go. Seen yellow for that, for sure.
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Obviously no malice from Watson. Aside from in his choice of haircut.
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OK, with my more sensible hat on.
Scotland were, I have to admit somewhat better than I expected last week and could have sneaked that game but for ball-protection failures in the red zone (quiet, Karl), a pish line out and Hogg (still can’t believe he did that!). We played some decent stuff but errors cost us, while mostly keeping Ireland at bay. The scrum and general fronting up of the pack were pleasing to me.
England weren’t great on the whole. Dropsies, structureless and second best for the first half. Dominated for much of the second half but still couldn’t make it really count apart from Johnny May doing his thing. For all that England weren’t far off come the end. Really difficult to make a call on that match – were France really all that? Possibly not and were on the verge of a classic collapse.
Can’t imagine either game will have much bearing on tomorrow. What worries me is that England are strong where we are likely to struggle i.e. lineout and are likely to compete better at the breakdown than in recent times. The conditions will probably suit England more. Plus Johnny May.
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6. Sean O’Brien
Ah, the endless celtic cycle of rebirth. The soul returns from Tirnanog back to this worlds realm
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Looking forward to watching Wales / Ireland. No real dog in that fight, just hope for a great game.
Another one that’s difficult to call. Suspect that Wales may have been flattered a tad by a fairly toothless looking Italy so will probably go for a narrow home victory.
Would be nice to see home victories all round but that ain’t going to happen.
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Is there a gif of Sexton a few seconds after the collision?
from memory he lays there holding his jaw, eventually gets up and shouts at the ref, pointing to his face, then trots off completely unhurt when he realises nothing was forthcoming
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Predictions:
Wales by 10
England by 8
France by 30
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You said he got hit in the chest. He got hit in the jaw.
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A shame Crowley gets Bandon RFC rather than Bandon Grammar. Bandon RFC are a load of shite. Onwards and upwards, Clonakilty RFC, West Cork’s best.
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And sure he’s trying to draw the ref’s attention to the penalty offence and it’s hardly Corinthian but I don’t care much and I don’t think anyone else should either.
In the end, Scotland should have been penalised and they were not and I’m fine about it.
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The great Bandon schism.
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When was the last time Wales won by >a score in Dublin, 19dickety2?
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Larry there is a reverse angle which shows first contact is Watson’s chest to Sexton’s shoulder, if you have the game recorded you’ll see it. sexton’s head whips forward, any contact with the shoulder is minimal
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@yos – probably. Although for a good few decades Ireland-Wales was a true sporting anomaly in that it was an overall even match up the away team usually won.
I think we’re old and slow. It showed last week and we got away with it. If it shows again this week – and I reckon it will – I don’t think we’ll get a second spoonful of luck.
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looks painful to me. I’m a wimp though.
people can do that thing though where initially they’re in pain and then the anger takes over. Like when I swear at the kitchen cupboard every time i smack my head on it .
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Dov, Ha, that sound familiar
Rugby is changing, and not every change is for the better, again if that makes me a dinosaur then so be it
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@Ticht – come on, the footage is clear as day and it’s from a great angle. Shoulder hits the jaw, head goes back.
Yes, Sexton was trying to get the refs attention by being ostentiously hurt. But it was a penalty offence and he wanted to get the penalty (we’ve all seen yellows for those but I’d probably just give a pen myself). Totally different from fabricating an offence, IMO.
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Nope, watch the reverse
I’m not going to pursue this
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@ ticht
Not going to get on this horse again, but rugby union is unrecognisible from the game I grew up playing.
Whether you think it a good thing overall, or a bad, there is no dispute that professionalism has irrevocably changed the game
(for the record, whilst many changes have been to the good, I am of the opinion that the game was far better in the old days. But then, I am an old man with halcyon hindsight)
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Well, maybe just this
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‘I think we’re old and slow’
Really? think I went through the ages & Ireland are a bit, but not that much older. Plenty of pace in parts of that team too.
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I’m not getting involved as this and the TMO decision for the second try for France both have me thinking my eyesight is going west fast.
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I have an ongoing issue with the position of a rake in the shed when I get my commuting bike in and out. maybe instead of perpetuating the pain / rage cycle I need to reorganise the shed.
This, however, means a short term time & effort investment to realise the long term benefit. Laziness is a significant hindrance in this.
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You can literally see his shoulder hit his jaw and his head go back. Total alternative facts from yourself.
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Its funny. Whern Ireland were actually old, they were never that slow.
I can see what Larry is observing in slowness but this team is not all that old. Maybe worn out mentally? Dunno.
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I’m making pizza for tonight
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Chimpie – guys like POM, Healy and Murray aren’t that old in the grand scheme but have played a lot of rugby and it shows.
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I don’t disagree with your first sentence but I’m always skeptical of Welsh teams going to Dublin and winning convincingly. I don’t think I’ve ever seen it other than on 70z highlights on the youtube,
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