2020 dawns with the Springboks as World Champions, Rugby Championship Champions and Ranked Number One in the World! Why do I mention this you ask? Does it have any bearing on the likely fortunes of the teams? No. Not at all. But I’m gonna keep my bragging rights as long as I can, until, as Mick Jones growled, I go straight to hell, boy.
The Bulls:
After a surprisingly promising season last year when the Bulls played some decent rugby, they’ve been hammered with 18 players leaving. This includes their entire second-row stock of RG Snyman, Lood de Jager, Jason Jenkins and Hendré Stassen, Duane Vermeulen, another 4 backrowers, Handre Pollard, Jessie Kriel and the promising Duncan Matthews in the backs. Recruits? Juandre Kruger and Morne Steyn. Cough. They are, however, the only side in SA with a coach who has previous experience at this level.
Lots of grunt up front with Boks Trevor Nyakane and promising Lizo Gqoboka anchoring, but the rest of the pack has an almost journeyman quality to it. Behind them, two fringe Boks in Embrose Papier and Ivan van Zyl will be providing the service to one of past it Morne Steyn or hugely promising Manie Libbok (please not Marnitz Boshoff) with plenty of enterprise outside of that in 7z Boks Dylan Sage (centre, injured), Stedman Gans and Rosko Specman, as well as possible future Bok Burger Odendaal and the stalled Warrick Gelant.
Expect lots of huff and puff, the odd bit of absolute magic from Specman, and a string of defeats – starting with two away derbies in SA to the much-fancied Sharks and Stormers. They have two byes to follow (including the Blues), then two more home matches followed by a month in Australasia. It’s a bridge too far.
Clash Song for the season: ‘Lost in the Supermarket’ – they’ve been lousy at shopping and given away some bargains, struggling to deal with an increasingly commercialised world and rampant consumerism (thanks Wiki).
Position in SA Conference: Fighting for fourth with the Lions.
Overall: Trying to stay above the Sunwolves, Lions and assorted Aussie sides (and Blues).
The Lions:
Three times the bridesmaid, never the bride – and now in freefall as a combination of virtually the entire pack from the halcyon days of 2016 to 2018 having left or retired through injury leaving the Lions shattered. Particularly galling is the loss of Malcolm Marx, the only remaining world class forward, but Whiteley being perma-crocked and Kwagga Smith off to Japan has left both a skill and leadership void. Add in the departure of some fine backs in Faf de Klerk, Rohan Janse van Rensburg, Ruan Combrink, Lionel Mapoe, Madosh Tambwe, Howard Mnisi and Aphiwe Dyanti (still protesting his innocence over a drug bust) and the Lions are a shell of their former selves. A total loss of 17 players is scary.
In come old hands Jannie du Plessis and Willem Alberts to give a bit of nous and grunt to the pack, along with perma-crocked Jaco Kriel (out until April!), promising Bulls discards Roelof Smit and Duncan Matthews (as well as mercurial Jamba Ulengo) and Stormers reject Dan Kriel.
Not promising and it showed in their battering in Buenos Aires in Round 1. A Bok halfback pairing that isn’t much cop behind a pack coming second and a callow back division, the Lions do have some promising youngsters in the engine room – Carlu Sadie and Sti Sithole in particular, whilst if fit and firing, the like of Hacjivah Dayimani, Marnus Schoeman, Roelof Smit, and Alberts could cause defences some problems on the ground and in close quarters from the loose trio berths.
This is definitely a rebuilding season and the Reds will fancy a win this weekend at Ellis Park. The Stormers visit next, whereafter the Lions head down south for four weeks – the only saving grace being a relatively kind fixture list. A couple of heroic smash and grab wins won’t mask the Herculean task facing the heroes of southern hemisphere rugby as they struggle through the rubble of past glories.
Clash Song for the season: Ghetto Defendant – (misrepresenting the meaning, but that’s tough shit): The ghetto prince of gutter poets; Was bounced out of the room; By the bodyguards of greed; For disturbing the tomb.
Position in SA Conference: Fighting for fourth with the Bulls.
Overall: Trying to stay above the Sunwolves, Bulls and assorted Aussie sides (and Blues).
The Sharks:
Like the Bulls and Lions, they’ve lost a lot of players in the last few months – the Du Preez trio, Beast, Coenie Oosthuizen, Armand van der Merwe, Ruan Botha, Jacques Vermeulen and a few others. But they’ve got a couple of very good players in, too: Ox Nche and Henco Venter from the Cheetahs, and James Venter and Madosh Tambwe from the Lions. They (like all the SA sides bar the Bulls) have a newbie coach at this level, but have a good matchday 23 to call on, with a good front row and a back division that won’t stand back for many, with Curwin Bosch, Lukanyo Am, Makezoli Mapimpi, Sbu Nkosi, Madosh Tambwe, Andre Esterhuizen, Aphelele Fassi, Louis Schreuder and new sensational 9 Sanele Nohamba giving them options all over the park. But they may be a bit callow in the 2nd row and loose trio, given all the defections and over the course of the season and will be sorely tested up front, as well as when the benches are emptied.
Following a routine (and typically SA-boshtastic) win over the Bulls in Round 1, the Sharks head on tour early this – and they’re one SA side that seems to genuinely tour well (okish, more accurately). They open against the Highlanders, who will be a bit rusty after a bye in Round 1, and don’t have the worst itinerary, with matches against the Canes, Rebels and Reds to follow. Not too bad. The tour could decide their fate, so it’s imperative to get a couple of wins at least out of it. Do that, and they could really gel as a unit, but have the Crusaders as their last regular season match and it could be down to that to make it to play-offs.
The Sharks will score some scintillating tries this year and hopefully Bosch really shines at 10 now that The Family have all buggered off. But there’s a lingering feeling that up front they’ll be found wanting.
Clash Song for the season: Rock the Casbah – Coach Everitt is raw at this level, but he can sure call on some jet fighters in the back division to rock the casbah. Kings Park will rock to some stunning tries.
Position in SA Conference: Probably 3rd, but possibly 2nd in a dogfight with the Stormers and Jaguares.
Overall: Playoffs are not beyond them – expect an away QF for the ‘Banana Boys’.
The Stormers:
For the first time in this scribe’s (cough) history, he believes the Stormers are the real deal to go deep into the play-offs. They have a core of World Cup winning Boks to call on, including skipper Siya Kolisi, World Player of the year Pieter Steph du Toit, Steven Kitshoff, Bongi Mbonambi and Frans Malherbe in the front row, magical 9 Herschel Jantjies and 10 Damian Willemse. The Magnificent Seven form the core of a side that has Boks Wilco Louw and Scarra Ntubeni also bolstering the front row, with a glittering array of junior and age group Boks throughout the side, including the looming presence of Cobus Wiese (his breakout season?) and new sensation Jaco Coetzee (being billed as the next Schalk Burger). Plenty more promising stars up front too. Major losses include Eben Etzebeth and Damian De Allende.
The back division will rely on the services of Jantjies and Willemse to get them going and with the likes of Seabelo Senatla, Seargal Petersen, Leolin Zas, Dillyn Leyds and Jamie Roberts (um, yes, that one), they have plenty of gas and experience in the back division – even if it is a little callow once the bench is emptied (and injuries take their toll).
A thumping first round win, nilling the Canes at Newlands sets them up for the old North-South derby against the Bulls, followed by a trip to Jo’burg which shouldn’t hold too many fears for this side. The Jaguares and Blues at home is followed by a bye and the Sharks away – a very nice start to the season. The travel leg is a potential bastard with the Chiefs, Crusaders and Brumbies lying in wait on consecutive weekends towards the end of the regular season, but the Stormers should, by then, be relatively comfortable in the SA standings.
Clash Song for the season: The Magnificent Seven – when last did a SA coach have half a Bok World Cup winning side to call on? Knuckle merchants and your bankers too; Must get up and learn those rules; Hong Kong dollar, Indian cents; English pounds and Eskimo pence won’t stop this gnarly mob in the SA conference.
Position in SA Conference: Duking it out with the Jaguares for 1st.
Overall: Top the SA conference and it’s all the way to the Final, finish 2nd and probably an away semi loss.
The Jaguares:
To be honest, your humble narrator knows less about this mob than any of the other sides, if that’s possible given the evidence above. Suffice it to say, they’re pretty close to a full-strength Pumas side, bar a couple of blokes sunning themselves in balmy Leicester (or wherever).
Dished out a 2nd half hiding to the Lions in Round 1, but that means little given the quality of the opposition. A kind start though, with the dismantled Canes up next followed by the Reds (both at home), before they start the first journey: Stormers, Bulls and Sharks away. April will test their mettle, with away matches to the Brumbies, (Blues) and Crusaders, which will show if they’re as good as last years’ beaten finalists.
Clash Song for the season: Sandanista! – so an album, not a song. Obviously picked it ‘cause they’re Latin American and it’s close to Nicaragua right? Bugger off! It, like the 36 tracks on Sandanista!, is a homage to the massive travel schedule that the blokes from Buenos Aires face every year.
Position in SA Conference: Duking it out with the Stormers for 1st. Overall: Finalists again? Possibly – but more likely a last four loss. Just because.
Predictions courtesy of Deebee7
Further Reading
Deebee7 on why France v England was a good match
Utnapistm’s predictions for the weekend
On the telly this week
Friday 7th February
| Highlanders 20 – 42 Sharks | 06:05 | Sky Sports Action |
| Brumbies 39 – 26 Rebels | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| Ireland U20 36 – 22 Wales U20 | 19:15 | BBC Two Wales / BBC Sport website / Red button / RTÉ Two |
| Scotland U20 17 – 21 England U20 | 19:15 | SRU website |
| Sale 28 – 7 Saracens | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
| France U20 31 – 19 Italy U20 | 20:00 | YouTube |
Saturday 8th February
| Chiefs 25 – 15 Crusaders | 06:05 | Sky Sports Action |
| Waratahs 12 – 32 Blues | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| Lions 27 – 20 Reds | 13:05 | Sky Sports Action |
| Ireland 24 – 14 Wales | 14:15 | ITV / S4C |
| Stormers 13 – 0 Blues | 15:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| Scotland 6 – 13 England | 16:45 | BBC One / BBC sport website |
| France 45 – 10 Italy (women) | 20:00 | BBC Red Button / YouTube |
| Los Jaguares 23 – 26 Hurricanes | 23:00 | Sky Sports Action |
Sunday 9th February
| Scotland 0 – 53 England (women) | 12:10 | Sky Sports Action / BBC Alba |
| Ireland 31 – 12 Wales (women) | 13:00 | BBC Sport website / S4C / RTÉ Two |
| France 35 – 22 Italy | 15:00 | BBC One / BBC Sport website |
Ovally Balls 
Craigs – not sure about Genge, but Faz is clearly not a soft southern Jessie.
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I thought it was the Irish* who are famously unsmiling in victory? Having said that Faz is genetically Irish.
*Ref. expro, private communication.
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Glad we ground that out and had some half decent tactics but jeez can we fire both our 9s into the sun (and maybe Ford too, but he gets a pass for last week)
At one point I counted I think 6 (!) kicks on the full in a row! I know the conditions weren’t great but wow. Good job we mangled the Scottish line out
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OT – yes, I was extemporising on that theme….
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The Ire/Wal game also made me feel a bit better about the Paris debacle.
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@thaum
Good verb.
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Ellis Genge bossing this interview.
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Ellis Genge must become the first media rep for England.
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The Ellis and Eddie partnership is something to behold
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Ellis Genge schooling EJ in how to handle a vacuous Sonia interview.
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Sonia must be shot into the sun
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I really loved that game, just for the tension and frustration! Had we lost I would have hated it for the same reason.
Curry my motm – he was everywhere, carried well and made crucial turnovers. Itoje and Underhill also massive.
Winning in these conditions is a lottery and some English kickers didn’t adapt well to the change of ends second half. We looked in real trouble when Scotland ran at us. I’ll be bricking it for the return fixture next year.
But in the end England probably just about deserved the win. Not a vintage year for us, but a win at Murrayfield these days is not to be sneezed at!
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Some rumours flying around that South Africa’ll join the 6 Nations after the next World Cup.
Heritage, tradition and all that.
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There are no rugby results that can’t be made better by sirloin steak with green peppercorn sauce, spicy potato wedges and asparagus.
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Late to the party but here goes:
Leonard, Moore, Probyn;
Mayfield, Botha
Rives, Skrela, Bastiat;
Stringer, O’Gara;
Little, Horan;
Kirwan, Green, Gallagher;
You could do this all day. ..swapping units in and out. Kirk and Fox/Farr Jones and Lynagh/Viet Gwent/Ackford and Dooley
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There’s always been the argument that the closeness in timezones makes N-S travel more sensible than E-W.
Not sure how that leaves the Rugby Championship….
I’d love it – but I’m sure there are some who’ll disagree (there were probably people against France joining in 1910 (or whatever))
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True that ticht.
True that.
Not sure how to post a photo otherwise I’d show you my moussaka I’ve been crafting on and off all day and looking forward to eating with my wife when she finally gets off shift (since 7 this morning).
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Trisk, along with South Africa the story is for Fiji and Japan to join too.
I’m not sure how this can be accommodated in the calendar, even South Africa alone joining brings up all sorts of logistical headaches.
I’m not against it per se, but I’m not sure how it would work. I really like the 6N. it’s been part of my life for over 40 years, I don’t think it should be changed significantly
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Dov, does your wife work in the NHS?
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Comment on t’graun regarding the bottle hitting Neil Craig:
“Maybe Scotland need to give whoever threw the bottle the number 2 jersey.”
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Ticht, yes. She does. Looks after people with dementia.
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Glad it was plastic.
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Only caught Ire-Wal today. Quite pleasing to win… although we did seem to have problems with Welsh offloading at first. Later on Wales seem to have their own issues with their own offloading.
Scrum looked better when Kilcoyne came on. Larmour and Conway proved they were the form choices (and probably were back at RWC). Henshaw was revitalised…overall pretty decent. Hopefully Henshaw is ok for Twickenham – already lost Ringrose, and I’m no fan of Earls at 13.
Overall – good win – easier to build/make changes to playing style when pressure is off… an away win plus the presumed win over Italy and it would be a good Championship.
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I salute her, Dov.
That is a tough gig.
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She’s a genuine hero of the people ticht.
Utterly under valued.
I could not do it to my shame.
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While I’m here…started the day by taking our Red squad to Listowel for U14 Plate. This year at U14 we had 30+ players between U13 and U14 (reaching 35 or 36 at some training sessions).
Never had those kind of numbers before – and nor do clubs in our region – so we started year with a single U14 team (like the other clubs) but juggling with a max 23-man panel. So, 8 get limited playing time and the others don’t get a game at all. No separate U13 league due to small numbers at other clubs
Anyway, after Christmas we offered to enter 2 teams (red and black – club colours) . Red are mainly U13s – couple of U14s adding experience (not madly happy to be with the “kids” but good for them to be captain etc) . Well, to cut long story short – we lost. Opposition 8 ran riot – in 2nd half he was removed and it was pretty even. You could see them beginning to play as a team….
All in all – defeat or no defeat we had 15 lads get a game on a miserable morning – the alternative was having 15 subs for our “senior” team. And while they’re sad for a short time about losing – they’re enjoying playing. And that’s about 99% of everything …
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@dov
My mom died in 2017. In 2016, she had a fall and broke her wrist – the shock and pain allied to the disorientation of the ambulance,hospital seemed to let dementia – which I had feared was creeping up – completely rip.
Just to say that everyone I came into contact with in the NHS and local social services and right down to the hospice care at the end were brilliant. Damned tough job …and agreed completely undervalued, as you say…. heroic at times.
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Was never in doubt for Ireland without being that impressive. That’s a great sign given Wales are a champion 6N team with great players.
Ireland look odds on for the title. A slam is a possibility.
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Sorry to hear that trisk. Society does not value these people enough, until we need them
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Our family had a brush with dementia, it was horrible for several years.
Dov, I hope your missus knows there are people out here who know her and people who do her job are the best of us.
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I’ve had a horrible nagging feeling all day because my daughter was flying through that storm tonight.
The flight has landed safely so I can beathe easy.
I hate flying, I don’t do it myself and I hate when those close to me do it.
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In fact I’ve just cracked open the Bunnahabhain
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Ticht / any other Whisk(e)y fans; can you recommend any unusual ones if I’m a fan of Islay ones normally?
Have tried all the usual suspects Talisker et al but looking for some new ones to top the collection up with.
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FF, if you like the Islay whiskies, it is worthwhile looking out for independent bottlings of them, Signatory are great, I’ve never had a bad one from them, they do a range of cask strength whiskies which are around the mid-fifty percent mark and upwards, it is a whole new ball game.
Gordon & MacPhail also do good bottlings
These companies buy a cask and sell it themselves, rather than have a master blender at the distillery whose job it is to compose a particular “house” taste
I don’t want to teach egg sucking, but all single malts are “blended” after a fashion, they are made up of whiskies from the one distillery, the age statement being fromt he youngest whisky they use.
The exception is when you see a whisky released as “single barrel” or such like
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‘I’ve just cracked open the Bunnahabhain’
Pardon you
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For me, this is age related….I used to love flying.. now I always feel every successful flight is one step closer to disaster…how lucky can you continue to be?
(referring again to my mom – I work quite hard to suppress my inherited tendency to assume that things will go wrong)
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Not as dismayed as some o here by the poor Wales performance, thought there were so many individual errors that any ideas about how the team were trying to play went out the window. I have seen Wales lose like that to Ireland under Gats with added more obvious tactical ineptitude so not going to over react. Ireland looked solid but not all that impressive to me, will be surprised if they can win both away games though they were worthy winners today.
Thoroughly enjoyed just watching the Calcutta Cup on playback, shame about the result but a rather wonderful throwback with everything in doubt until the try.
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Waitrose have been stubbornly refusing to sell that Bunnahabhain at the price they did when Ticht first advertised it to me. Have found myself walking past one a few times recently and gone in to check, got followed round by the security guard last time, don’t think he liked the look of me putting my roly out on the way in.
Got about half a shot of ‘The’ Glenlivet 12 left in the cabinet, then there’s nothing but gin.
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Trisk, one of my best friends from school spends his working week travelling around the globe, he has that same thing about the law of averages but it’s the only job he knows.
CMW, I got this bottle for around £28 in November in Waitrose, we just have to keep our eyes peeled.
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@Ticht – I don’t go in there very often and Morrisons (that it’s next door to) ain’t ever going to stock it. My mother-in-law let herself down this year by breaking her leg, not making it to York for Christmas and not sending me my Springbank.
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btw, some of the supermarket own-brand stuff is more than okay and it comes in at less than twenty quid a bottle
It comes from Scottish distilleries and is much better than some the rubbish you get with names such as Glen MacTavish Captain’s Reserve or somesuch bollocks
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I don’t mind flying, but then I’ve only ever flown to European destinations so not been on a long-haul flight. I prefer sitting at the window, because I love seeing places from above and trying to figure out where they are. Although, flying from Scotland usually means the first hour or so is over cloud.
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I’m as disappointed in her as she must be in herself.
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Poor from the mother-in-law all round there, CMW
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What I do have is the bottle of gin Mrs CMW bought with her mother’s money for the people who were supposed to be letting mother-in-law stay in their vacant house over Christmas. No point giving it to them now, we didn’t even end up looking after their cat as promised. But I don’t feel like drinking gin and rarely do.
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One G&T on a bright summer’s afternoon suffices for the year
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I have one when I’m on holiday as a ritual to convince myself that I am indeed on holiday.
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Ah….gin is a very depressing drink……
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I just don’t have the scarf collection to feel comfortable with it.
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