2020 dawns with the Springboks as World Champions, Rugby Championship Champions and Ranked Number One in the World! Why do I mention this you ask? Does it have any bearing on the likely fortunes of the teams? No. Not at all. But I’m gonna keep my bragging rights as long as I can, until, as Mick Jones growled, I go straight to hell, boy.
The Bulls:
After a surprisingly promising season last year when the Bulls played some decent rugby, they’ve been hammered with 18 players leaving. This includes their entire second-row stock of RG Snyman, Lood de Jager, Jason Jenkins and Hendré Stassen, Duane Vermeulen, another 4 backrowers, Handre Pollard, Jessie Kriel and the promising Duncan Matthews in the backs. Recruits? Juandre Kruger and Morne Steyn. Cough. They are, however, the only side in SA with a coach who has previous experience at this level.
Lots of grunt up front with Boks Trevor Nyakane and promising Lizo Gqoboka anchoring, but the rest of the pack has an almost journeyman quality to it. Behind them, two fringe Boks in Embrose Papier and Ivan van Zyl will be providing the service to one of past it Morne Steyn or hugely promising Manie Libbok (please not Marnitz Boshoff) with plenty of enterprise outside of that in 7z Boks Dylan Sage (centre, injured), Stedman Gans and Rosko Specman, as well as possible future Bok Burger Odendaal and the stalled Warrick Gelant.
Expect lots of huff and puff, the odd bit of absolute magic from Specman, and a string of defeats – starting with two away derbies in SA to the much-fancied Sharks and Stormers. They have two byes to follow (including the Blues), then two more home matches followed by a month in Australasia. It’s a bridge too far.
Clash Song for the season: ‘Lost in the Supermarket’ – they’ve been lousy at shopping and given away some bargains, struggling to deal with an increasingly commercialised world and rampant consumerism (thanks Wiki).
Position in SA Conference: Fighting for fourth with the Lions.
Overall: Trying to stay above the Sunwolves, Lions and assorted Aussie sides (and Blues).
The Lions:
Three times the bridesmaid, never the bride – and now in freefall as a combination of virtually the entire pack from the halcyon days of 2016 to 2018 having left or retired through injury leaving the Lions shattered. Particularly galling is the loss of Malcolm Marx, the only remaining world class forward, but Whiteley being perma-crocked and Kwagga Smith off to Japan has left both a skill and leadership void. Add in the departure of some fine backs in Faf de Klerk, Rohan Janse van Rensburg, Ruan Combrink, Lionel Mapoe, Madosh Tambwe, Howard Mnisi and Aphiwe Dyanti (still protesting his innocence over a drug bust) and the Lions are a shell of their former selves. A total loss of 17 players is scary.
In come old hands Jannie du Plessis and Willem Alberts to give a bit of nous and grunt to the pack, along with perma-crocked Jaco Kriel (out until April!), promising Bulls discards Roelof Smit and Duncan Matthews (as well as mercurial Jamba Ulengo) and Stormers reject Dan Kriel.
Not promising and it showed in their battering in Buenos Aires in Round 1. A Bok halfback pairing that isn’t much cop behind a pack coming second and a callow back division, the Lions do have some promising youngsters in the engine room – Carlu Sadie and Sti Sithole in particular, whilst if fit and firing, the like of Hacjivah Dayimani, Marnus Schoeman, Roelof Smit, and Alberts could cause defences some problems on the ground and in close quarters from the loose trio berths.
This is definitely a rebuilding season and the Reds will fancy a win this weekend at Ellis Park. The Stormers visit next, whereafter the Lions head down south for four weeks – the only saving grace being a relatively kind fixture list. A couple of heroic smash and grab wins won’t mask the Herculean task facing the heroes of southern hemisphere rugby as they struggle through the rubble of past glories.
Clash Song for the season: Ghetto Defendant – (misrepresenting the meaning, but that’s tough shit): The ghetto prince of gutter poets; Was bounced out of the room; By the bodyguards of greed; For disturbing the tomb.
Position in SA Conference: Fighting for fourth with the Bulls.
Overall: Trying to stay above the Sunwolves, Bulls and assorted Aussie sides (and Blues).
The Sharks:
Like the Bulls and Lions, they’ve lost a lot of players in the last few months – the Du Preez trio, Beast, Coenie Oosthuizen, Armand van der Merwe, Ruan Botha, Jacques Vermeulen and a few others. But they’ve got a couple of very good players in, too: Ox Nche and Henco Venter from the Cheetahs, and James Venter and Madosh Tambwe from the Lions. They (like all the SA sides bar the Bulls) have a newbie coach at this level, but have a good matchday 23 to call on, with a good front row and a back division that won’t stand back for many, with Curwin Bosch, Lukanyo Am, Makezoli Mapimpi, Sbu Nkosi, Madosh Tambwe, Andre Esterhuizen, Aphelele Fassi, Louis Schreuder and new sensational 9 Sanele Nohamba giving them options all over the park. But they may be a bit callow in the 2nd row and loose trio, given all the defections and over the course of the season and will be sorely tested up front, as well as when the benches are emptied.
Following a routine (and typically SA-boshtastic) win over the Bulls in Round 1, the Sharks head on tour early this – and they’re one SA side that seems to genuinely tour well (okish, more accurately). They open against the Highlanders, who will be a bit rusty after a bye in Round 1, and don’t have the worst itinerary, with matches against the Canes, Rebels and Reds to follow. Not too bad. The tour could decide their fate, so it’s imperative to get a couple of wins at least out of it. Do that, and they could really gel as a unit, but have the Crusaders as their last regular season match and it could be down to that to make it to play-offs.
The Sharks will score some scintillating tries this year and hopefully Bosch really shines at 10 now that The Family have all buggered off. But there’s a lingering feeling that up front they’ll be found wanting.
Clash Song for the season: Rock the Casbah – Coach Everitt is raw at this level, but he can sure call on some jet fighters in the back division to rock the casbah. Kings Park will rock to some stunning tries.
Position in SA Conference: Probably 3rd, but possibly 2nd in a dogfight with the Stormers and Jaguares.
Overall: Playoffs are not beyond them – expect an away QF for the ‘Banana Boys’.
The Stormers:
For the first time in this scribe’s (cough) history, he believes the Stormers are the real deal to go deep into the play-offs. They have a core of World Cup winning Boks to call on, including skipper Siya Kolisi, World Player of the year Pieter Steph du Toit, Steven Kitshoff, Bongi Mbonambi and Frans Malherbe in the front row, magical 9 Herschel Jantjies and 10 Damian Willemse. The Magnificent Seven form the core of a side that has Boks Wilco Louw and Scarra Ntubeni also bolstering the front row, with a glittering array of junior and age group Boks throughout the side, including the looming presence of Cobus Wiese (his breakout season?) and new sensation Jaco Coetzee (being billed as the next Schalk Burger). Plenty more promising stars up front too. Major losses include Eben Etzebeth and Damian De Allende.
The back division will rely on the services of Jantjies and Willemse to get them going and with the likes of Seabelo Senatla, Seargal Petersen, Leolin Zas, Dillyn Leyds and Jamie Roberts (um, yes, that one), they have plenty of gas and experience in the back division – even if it is a little callow once the bench is emptied (and injuries take their toll).
A thumping first round win, nilling the Canes at Newlands sets them up for the old North-South derby against the Bulls, followed by a trip to Jo’burg which shouldn’t hold too many fears for this side. The Jaguares and Blues at home is followed by a bye and the Sharks away – a very nice start to the season. The travel leg is a potential bastard with the Chiefs, Crusaders and Brumbies lying in wait on consecutive weekends towards the end of the regular season, but the Stormers should, by then, be relatively comfortable in the SA standings.
Clash Song for the season: The Magnificent Seven – when last did a SA coach have half a Bok World Cup winning side to call on? Knuckle merchants and your bankers too; Must get up and learn those rules; Hong Kong dollar, Indian cents; English pounds and Eskimo pence won’t stop this gnarly mob in the SA conference.
Position in SA Conference: Duking it out with the Jaguares for 1st.
Overall: Top the SA conference and it’s all the way to the Final, finish 2nd and probably an away semi loss.
The Jaguares:
To be honest, your humble narrator knows less about this mob than any of the other sides, if that’s possible given the evidence above. Suffice it to say, they’re pretty close to a full-strength Pumas side, bar a couple of blokes sunning themselves in balmy Leicester (or wherever).
Dished out a 2nd half hiding to the Lions in Round 1, but that means little given the quality of the opposition. A kind start though, with the dismantled Canes up next followed by the Reds (both at home), before they start the first journey: Stormers, Bulls and Sharks away. April will test their mettle, with away matches to the Brumbies, (Blues) and Crusaders, which will show if they’re as good as last years’ beaten finalists.
Clash Song for the season: Sandanista! – so an album, not a song. Obviously picked it ‘cause they’re Latin American and it’s close to Nicaragua right? Bugger off! It, like the 36 tracks on Sandanista!, is a homage to the massive travel schedule that the blokes from Buenos Aires face every year.
Position in SA Conference: Duking it out with the Stormers for 1st. Overall: Finalists again? Possibly – but more likely a last four loss. Just because.
Predictions courtesy of Deebee7
Further Reading
Deebee7 on why France v England was a good match
Utnapistm’s predictions for the weekend
On the telly this week
Friday 7th February
| Highlanders 20 – 42 Sharks | 06:05 | Sky Sports Action |
| Brumbies 39 – 26 Rebels | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| Ireland U20 36 – 22 Wales U20 | 19:15 | BBC Two Wales / BBC Sport website / Red button / RTÉ Two |
| Scotland U20 17 – 21 England U20 | 19:15 | SRU website |
| Sale 28 – 7 Saracens | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
| France U20 31 – 19 Italy U20 | 20:00 | YouTube |
Saturday 8th February
| Chiefs 25 – 15 Crusaders | 06:05 | Sky Sports Action |
| Waratahs 12 – 32 Blues | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| Lions 27 – 20 Reds | 13:05 | Sky Sports Action |
| Ireland 24 – 14 Wales | 14:15 | ITV / S4C |
| Stormers 13 – 0 Blues | 15:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| Scotland 6 – 13 England | 16:45 | BBC One / BBC sport website |
| France 45 – 10 Italy (women) | 20:00 | BBC Red Button / YouTube |
| Los Jaguares 23 – 26 Hurricanes | 23:00 | Sky Sports Action |
Sunday 9th February
| Scotland 0 – 53 England (women) | 12:10 | Sky Sports Action / BBC Alba |
| Ireland 31 – 12 Wales (women) | 13:00 | BBC Sport website / S4C / RTÉ Two |
| France 35 – 22 Italy | 15:00 | BBC One / BBC Sport website |
Ovally Balls 
Well….now I’ve got the place to myself….damn ….dog wants to go out….
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Well let it out and then you really will have the place to yourself.
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Don’t go letting it back in again.
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Missed the rugby today as I’m on a little city break in Lisbon (also I rightly suspected Wales would lose so didn’t slink off to an Irish bar).
Well done Ireland and well done England, I’ve been told neither of today’s games are worth watching though so will refrain from doing so.
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SA in 6N. Please, please no
Dont mess with the 6N!
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Flying: often and not always on first rate airlines. Especially domestic flights around Africa. Flying across the equator means you always get turbulence and sometimes quite violently. I’m used to it, but don’t enjoy it.
Gin: somewhere back in the mists of time I started having a GnT at the airport before boarding for my trips to the UK to see my son. Followed by one on the plane. It’s become habit now, although I don’t often drink gin outside of that.
Dinner: the Portuguese dinner went down a treat. Even had vinho verde to go with the prawns and chicken. Very smug about it this morning, at least until Mrs Deebee surfaces and makes me clean the kitchen.
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@FBC
I love Lisbon – hope you get a chance to explore the environs as well……………………….
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Young Faz seems to have given a rather graceless interview, slagging off the Murrayfield crowd for booing during his place kicks. I’m getting pretty annoyed at the way the English players have been talking since the start of the 6N. Genge’s interview came across as rather boorish and arrogant as well. Doesn’t seem like they want to offer a lot of respect or friendship to their opponents off the pitch.
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I loved Genge’s interview.
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Genge managed to make EJ look classy and humble.
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I’ve not seen it. Read the transcript, what was so wrong about it?
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Thanks Ticht, much appreciated – certainly not teaching to suck eggs, I actually didn’t know that although makes sense given it’s the same with non vintage wine.
Will keep an eye out for those, assume you won’t find them in Sainsburys though!
Quite enjoyed Genge’s interview but can see how it would rub people up the wrong way.
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It came across as rather arrogant and gloaty, bearing in mind that it was a match that could have gone either way and really was decided by the bounce of a ball.
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Put it this way, I couldn’t picture Genge or any of them strolling into the Scottish dressing room with a crate of beer under an arm!
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They’d be worried the bottles would be chucked back at them!!
I joke of course
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Genge was a boss:
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Apparently Finn’s done an interview with the Sunday Times which seems to imply that we won’t be seeing him back in a Scotland jersey any time soon. Not while Toonie’s in charge anyway.
I only saw the comments posted on the Glasgow FB page because the Sunday Times is behind a paywall but it does seem as though the relationship between the two of them is broken.
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I dont see the problem. He doesn’t have a push school accent and is fairly straight forward, which I guess is unusual for england players on the whole, but he doesn’t say anything bad at all.
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Posh school, I mean
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There were worse defeats in 2014 and 2018 – so two of the last three 6N games in Dublin. No need to shit the bed. Bit of a whirlwind week for Tompkins though.
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You can drill into the image of the text and its readable….
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@Larry – Yes, 2014 being the standout and really the one I was thinking of when Wales didn’t do anything at all in the entire game. Two years ago we were properly beaten up even if the last ten minutes were a bit different, but Ireland were very good that day.
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Dab – I’m not sure why Faz shouldn’t moan about some elements of the Murrayfield crowd tbh.
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And I disagree with the match hinging on the bounce of the ball. Comedy kicks out on the full aside, England dominated most facets I thought. Breakdown and set piece especially.
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That’s not to completely denigrate Scotland. It was a good contest in farcical conditions.
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Don’t know that I particularly warm to Genge, but his use of the word ‘sausages’ is magnificent.
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Oh dear.
I think he’s going to regret that. It’s a shame for us who enjoy watching him play but going off and telling stories in the press isn’t going to help with trust.
He’s probably gone until GT is gone
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@craigs
I agree. Tough match for both sides with England edging most of it bar the 3rd quarter. Both Faz and Ellis expressing quite reasonable opinions about the behaviour of others, albeit in regional accents.
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@Dova – yes, pretty disappointing from him.
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OT – I like it when sports people are honest. Especially when they are pissed off. You could tell Eddie Jones enjoyed Genge’s interview too.
Re regional accents, we can’t all sound like Jimmy Carr.
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Not long, then.
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@craigs
You should hear me speak.
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Think the fence in my garden is about to go though it’s too dark to tell for sure. You wouldn’t be able to play rugby out there just now.
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Craig’s, I thought the breakdown was even and Scotland looked more dangerous with the ball. Neither side could do three things in a row without fucking something up though.
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Was suposed to be taking the Middle One for a woodland walk identifying trees and maybe even building a den as part of her project work that’s due in tomorrow. Don’t think we’ll be going out to identify ‘wet tree’ and ‘blown-down tree’ somehow.
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Good story about Joe Marler just surfaced. Impressed by his young opponent, Haouas, Marler upon leaving the pitch asked the French coaches who he was. He later came to the French dressing room, beer in hand, and gave him his shirt. When Haouas offered him his in return, Marler refused and told him that as it was his first cap, he should always keep it. I wish the ABE brigade read that.
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There was also a nice article in Wales Online about how highly Nige thinks of the England players and how nice they were to him after the France game.
I just really think there should have been more acknowledgement of how tough Scotland were as opponents and how tight the game was. One Terri would decide it and Scotland looked more dangerous until England scored in the second half
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Enzo – Scotland conceded 20 turnovers to England’s 7. I don’t remember our ball being stolen as much.
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Sad about the whole Finn’s fiasco . Hard to see how a compromise can be found now. It’s a shame as the 6N (and not just Racing) need players like him. If Scotland come-back last year was really due to a change impulsed by Finn, then Townsend lost the dressing room then. No way back, especially as Finn’s not contracted by the SRU.
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Dab – Scotland had a lot of territory and possession but could not convert. When we got into their 22 we looked better. As competitive as Scotland were I don’t think that the result was a coin toss.
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Damn Ciara! The wind already reaches 80km/h in Paris. Expecting 100/ 110 at KO time in St Denis. The wingers might as well wear gloves!
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Dab – I saw that Wales Online article – someone here linked to it. Buying Nige the shirt was indeed a classy thing to do.
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I’m feeling pretty low about Scottish rugby this morning, the dick who threw stuff at the England team should be banned, they do it at football, we can do it here.
Finngate has become an embarrassing farce, but there are deep set feelings there and I see no way out of it that doesn’t hurt Scottish rugby.
The booing isn’t particular to Murrayfield but it’s shite and against the spirit of the game, what’s worse is that those doing it will probably sneer at football fans, the lack of self awareness is quite something.
The team has two weeks to prepare for the wooden spoon play off, there are no asterisks besides the results, we’ve played two lost two and were beaten by the better side on each occasion.
It’s all rather depressing
I wonder how the shinty season will go this year?
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That Genge interview is lush. Good for him.
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Craigs – that’s not ruck turnovers, it’s all turnovers. Scotland won 88/92 of their own rucks (95%). England won 56/59 (94%).
Also Scotland had 5 clean breaks and beat 14 defenders. England had 2 and 5.
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I take it lost lineouts are turnovers – if so then that must account for quite a few of the ones conceded by Scotland.
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https://www.netwerk24.com/Nuus/Algemeen/engeland-wil-vir-rassie-he-20200209
England after Rassie Erasmus.
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Booing the kicker is part and parcel of the game here. Doesn’t matter one bit. It’s not considered as a mark of abuse or disrespect either. In Bayonne they have a song that goes like: “he will miss it, he will miss it etc..” that is quite funny.
Let’s not be too precious. If you think the live audience is allowed to express its pleasure, why not its frustrations or trying to be the 16th man and put off balance the kicker or the ref?
The red lines are respect for all the players/refs/fans.
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