2020 dawns with the Springboks as World Champions, Rugby Championship Champions and Ranked Number One in the World! Why do I mention this you ask? Does it have any bearing on the likely fortunes of the teams? No. Not at all. But I’m gonna keep my bragging rights as long as I can, until, as Mick Jones growled, I go straight to hell, boy.
The Bulls:
After a surprisingly promising season last year when the Bulls played some decent rugby, they’ve been hammered with 18 players leaving. This includes their entire second-row stock of RG Snyman, Lood de Jager, Jason Jenkins and Hendré Stassen, Duane Vermeulen, another 4 backrowers, Handre Pollard, Jessie Kriel and the promising Duncan Matthews in the backs. Recruits? Juandre Kruger and Morne Steyn. Cough. They are, however, the only side in SA with a coach who has previous experience at this level.
Lots of grunt up front with Boks Trevor Nyakane and promising Lizo Gqoboka anchoring, but the rest of the pack has an almost journeyman quality to it. Behind them, two fringe Boks in Embrose Papier and Ivan van Zyl will be providing the service to one of past it Morne Steyn or hugely promising Manie Libbok (please not Marnitz Boshoff) with plenty of enterprise outside of that in 7z Boks Dylan Sage (centre, injured), Stedman Gans and Rosko Specman, as well as possible future Bok Burger Odendaal and the stalled Warrick Gelant.
Expect lots of huff and puff, the odd bit of absolute magic from Specman, and a string of defeats – starting with two away derbies in SA to the much-fancied Sharks and Stormers. They have two byes to follow (including the Blues), then two more home matches followed by a month in Australasia. It’s a bridge too far.
Clash Song for the season: ‘Lost in the Supermarket’ – they’ve been lousy at shopping and given away some bargains, struggling to deal with an increasingly commercialised world and rampant consumerism (thanks Wiki).
Position in SA Conference: Fighting for fourth with the Lions.
Overall: Trying to stay above the Sunwolves, Lions and assorted Aussie sides (and Blues).
The Lions:
Three times the bridesmaid, never the bride – and now in freefall as a combination of virtually the entire pack from the halcyon days of 2016 to 2018 having left or retired through injury leaving the Lions shattered. Particularly galling is the loss of Malcolm Marx, the only remaining world class forward, but Whiteley being perma-crocked and Kwagga Smith off to Japan has left both a skill and leadership void. Add in the departure of some fine backs in Faf de Klerk, Rohan Janse van Rensburg, Ruan Combrink, Lionel Mapoe, Madosh Tambwe, Howard Mnisi and Aphiwe Dyanti (still protesting his innocence over a drug bust) and the Lions are a shell of their former selves. A total loss of 17 players is scary.
In come old hands Jannie du Plessis and Willem Alberts to give a bit of nous and grunt to the pack, along with perma-crocked Jaco Kriel (out until April!), promising Bulls discards Roelof Smit and Duncan Matthews (as well as mercurial Jamba Ulengo) and Stormers reject Dan Kriel.
Not promising and it showed in their battering in Buenos Aires in Round 1. A Bok halfback pairing that isn’t much cop behind a pack coming second and a callow back division, the Lions do have some promising youngsters in the engine room – Carlu Sadie and Sti Sithole in particular, whilst if fit and firing, the like of Hacjivah Dayimani, Marnus Schoeman, Roelof Smit, and Alberts could cause defences some problems on the ground and in close quarters from the loose trio berths.
This is definitely a rebuilding season and the Reds will fancy a win this weekend at Ellis Park. The Stormers visit next, whereafter the Lions head down south for four weeks – the only saving grace being a relatively kind fixture list. A couple of heroic smash and grab wins won’t mask the Herculean task facing the heroes of southern hemisphere rugby as they struggle through the rubble of past glories.
Clash Song for the season: Ghetto Defendant – (misrepresenting the meaning, but that’s tough shit): The ghetto prince of gutter poets; Was bounced out of the room; By the bodyguards of greed; For disturbing the tomb.
Position in SA Conference: Fighting for fourth with the Bulls.
Overall: Trying to stay above the Sunwolves, Bulls and assorted Aussie sides (and Blues).
The Sharks:
Like the Bulls and Lions, they’ve lost a lot of players in the last few months – the Du Preez trio, Beast, Coenie Oosthuizen, Armand van der Merwe, Ruan Botha, Jacques Vermeulen and a few others. But they’ve got a couple of very good players in, too: Ox Nche and Henco Venter from the Cheetahs, and James Venter and Madosh Tambwe from the Lions. They (like all the SA sides bar the Bulls) have a newbie coach at this level, but have a good matchday 23 to call on, with a good front row and a back division that won’t stand back for many, with Curwin Bosch, Lukanyo Am, Makezoli Mapimpi, Sbu Nkosi, Madosh Tambwe, Andre Esterhuizen, Aphelele Fassi, Louis Schreuder and new sensational 9 Sanele Nohamba giving them options all over the park. But they may be a bit callow in the 2nd row and loose trio, given all the defections and over the course of the season and will be sorely tested up front, as well as when the benches are emptied.
Following a routine (and typically SA-boshtastic) win over the Bulls in Round 1, the Sharks head on tour early this – and they’re one SA side that seems to genuinely tour well (okish, more accurately). They open against the Highlanders, who will be a bit rusty after a bye in Round 1, and don’t have the worst itinerary, with matches against the Canes, Rebels and Reds to follow. Not too bad. The tour could decide their fate, so it’s imperative to get a couple of wins at least out of it. Do that, and they could really gel as a unit, but have the Crusaders as their last regular season match and it could be down to that to make it to play-offs.
The Sharks will score some scintillating tries this year and hopefully Bosch really shines at 10 now that The Family have all buggered off. But there’s a lingering feeling that up front they’ll be found wanting.
Clash Song for the season: Rock the Casbah – Coach Everitt is raw at this level, but he can sure call on some jet fighters in the back division to rock the casbah. Kings Park will rock to some stunning tries.
Position in SA Conference: Probably 3rd, but possibly 2nd in a dogfight with the Stormers and Jaguares.
Overall: Playoffs are not beyond them – expect an away QF for the ‘Banana Boys’.
The Stormers:
For the first time in this scribe’s (cough) history, he believes the Stormers are the real deal to go deep into the play-offs. They have a core of World Cup winning Boks to call on, including skipper Siya Kolisi, World Player of the year Pieter Steph du Toit, Steven Kitshoff, Bongi Mbonambi and Frans Malherbe in the front row, magical 9 Herschel Jantjies and 10 Damian Willemse. The Magnificent Seven form the core of a side that has Boks Wilco Louw and Scarra Ntubeni also bolstering the front row, with a glittering array of junior and age group Boks throughout the side, including the looming presence of Cobus Wiese (his breakout season?) and new sensation Jaco Coetzee (being billed as the next Schalk Burger). Plenty more promising stars up front too. Major losses include Eben Etzebeth and Damian De Allende.
The back division will rely on the services of Jantjies and Willemse to get them going and with the likes of Seabelo Senatla, Seargal Petersen, Leolin Zas, Dillyn Leyds and Jamie Roberts (um, yes, that one), they have plenty of gas and experience in the back division – even if it is a little callow once the bench is emptied (and injuries take their toll).
A thumping first round win, nilling the Canes at Newlands sets them up for the old North-South derby against the Bulls, followed by a trip to Jo’burg which shouldn’t hold too many fears for this side. The Jaguares and Blues at home is followed by a bye and the Sharks away – a very nice start to the season. The travel leg is a potential bastard with the Chiefs, Crusaders and Brumbies lying in wait on consecutive weekends towards the end of the regular season, but the Stormers should, by then, be relatively comfortable in the SA standings.
Clash Song for the season: The Magnificent Seven – when last did a SA coach have half a Bok World Cup winning side to call on? Knuckle merchants and your bankers too; Must get up and learn those rules; Hong Kong dollar, Indian cents; English pounds and Eskimo pence won’t stop this gnarly mob in the SA conference.
Position in SA Conference: Duking it out with the Jaguares for 1st.
Overall: Top the SA conference and it’s all the way to the Final, finish 2nd and probably an away semi loss.
The Jaguares:
To be honest, your humble narrator knows less about this mob than any of the other sides, if that’s possible given the evidence above. Suffice it to say, they’re pretty close to a full-strength Pumas side, bar a couple of blokes sunning themselves in balmy Leicester (or wherever).
Dished out a 2nd half hiding to the Lions in Round 1, but that means little given the quality of the opposition. A kind start though, with the dismantled Canes up next followed by the Reds (both at home), before they start the first journey: Stormers, Bulls and Sharks away. April will test their mettle, with away matches to the Brumbies, (Blues) and Crusaders, which will show if they’re as good as last years’ beaten finalists.
Clash Song for the season: Sandanista! – so an album, not a song. Obviously picked it ‘cause they’re Latin American and it’s close to Nicaragua right? Bugger off! It, like the 36 tracks on Sandanista!, is a homage to the massive travel schedule that the blokes from Buenos Aires face every year.
Position in SA Conference: Duking it out with the Stormers for 1st. Overall: Finalists again? Possibly – but more likely a last four loss. Just because.
Predictions courtesy of Deebee7
Further Reading
Deebee7 on why France v England was a good match
Utnapistm’s predictions for the weekend
On the telly this week
Friday 7th February
| Highlanders 20 – 42 Sharks | 06:05 | Sky Sports Action |
| Brumbies 39 – 26 Rebels | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| Ireland U20 36 – 22 Wales U20 | 19:15 | BBC Two Wales / BBC Sport website / Red button / RTÉ Two |
| Scotland U20 17 – 21 England U20 | 19:15 | SRU website |
| Sale 28 – 7 Saracens | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
| France U20 31 – 19 Italy U20 | 20:00 | YouTube |
Saturday 8th February
| Chiefs 25 – 15 Crusaders | 06:05 | Sky Sports Action |
| Waratahs 12 – 32 Blues | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| Lions 27 – 20 Reds | 13:05 | Sky Sports Action |
| Ireland 24 – 14 Wales | 14:15 | ITV / S4C |
| Stormers 13 – 0 Blues | 15:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| Scotland 6 – 13 England | 16:45 | BBC One / BBC sport website |
| France 45 – 10 Italy (women) | 20:00 | BBC Red Button / YouTube |
| Los Jaguares 23 – 26 Hurricanes | 23:00 | Sky Sports Action |
Sunday 9th February
| Scotland 0 – 53 England (women) | 12:10 | Sky Sports Action / BBC Alba |
| Ireland 31 – 12 Wales (women) | 13:00 | BBC Sport website / S4C / RTÉ Two |
| France 35 – 22 Italy | 15:00 | BBC One / BBC Sport website |
Ovally Balls 
Couple of late tries and the Rebels take it 24-10. No bonus points for either side.
LikeLike
Excuse my manners. I think I dreamt it rather than said it, so cheers for the informative preview Deebee and one of the finest gatherings of unusual names you’ll ever see. Couldn’t hum along to any of the Clash songs though.
LikeLiked by 1 person
@ticht
if you feel like torturing yourself this morning, try reading this article
https://www.theguardian.com/music/2020/feb/14/musical-instruments-airlines-broken
LikeLike
OT, there is a lot to be said for being a classical organist, you only carry your fingers around with you.
Dog knows what it’s like having the responsibility of a Strad cello or violin to transport all over the world, it’s not the money, they are pieces of history.
There is a depressing point made in that article about how artists and their instruments are treated differently depending on where they come from.
LikeLike
I remember someone on the Graun’s Readers Recommend posting this a few years ago, which was the first time I’d listened to someone playing the kora. Doesn’t look like something a layperson could take apart. Like the pipes under my sink.
LikeLike
I really enjoyed that MrIks, great stuff.
LikeLike
Embra
15. Damien Hoyland (71)
14. Eroni Sau (7)
13. Mark Bennett (34)
12. Matt Scott (92)
11. Duhan van der Merwe (54)
10. Jaco van der Walt (52)
9. Henry Pyrgos (33) CAPTAIN
1. Pierre Schoeman (37)
2. David Cherry (21)
3. WP Nel (138)
4. Lewis Carmichael (42)
5. Grant Gilchrist (146)
6. Nick Haining (8)
7. Luke Crosbie (36)
8. Viliame Mata (68)
Replacements: 16. Mike Willemse (15); 17. Jamie Bhatti (10); 18. Pietro Ceccarelli (22); 19. Fraser McKenzie (118); 20. John Barclay (11); 21. Nic Groom (10); 22. Simon Hickey (31); 23. George Taylor (17)
LikeLike
SCARLETS (v Edinburgh, Parc y Scarlets; February 15, 2020; 3pm ko)
15 Angus O’Brien; 14 Corey Baldwin, 13 Kieron Fonotia, 12 Steff Hughes (capt), 11 Steff Evans; 10 Dan Jones, 9 Kieran Hardy; 1 Phil Price, 2 Taylor Davies, 3 Samson Lee, 4 Lewis Rawlins, 5 Sam Lousi, 6 Aaron Shingler, 7 Josh Macleod, 8 Uzair Cassiem.
Reps: 16 Dom Booth. 17 Rob Evans, 18 Werner Kruger, 19 Tevita Ratuva, 20 Dan Davis, 21 Dane Blacker, 22 Paul Asquith, 23 Ryan Conbeer.
LikeLike
Hopefully this will get called off in Galway because that is a shocking team.
LikeLike
I don’t think we’ll see much rugby this weekend, Yos.
I quite fancied our chances in Llanelli, too.
LikeLike
that’s a handy team for the 6N period. Will be well disappointing if it gets called off now.
Mind you, it’s Embra, away, so who knows what would happen
LikeLike
LikeLike
LikeLike
LikeLike
LikeLike
The bad guys are predictably weak without their 3,000 internationals.
LikeLike
Cheetahs can’t be arsed to do a team graphic so their 23 stays a mystery.
LikeLike
LikeLiked by 1 person
LikeLike
Life in an Ealy Years Educational Setting cont’d:
1. Science update
Dinosaurs all still in the freezer. No science has occurred.
2. Incidental Haggis Update
Incidental haggis still maturing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
“To hear words like war, hate and niggly being uttered…”
War, hate and …..niggly?
Superdrivel from Rees yesterday.
LikeLike
Good to see that the Ospreys are persisting with the teamsheet in gravestone form.
LikeLike
“Hopefully this will get called off in Galway because that is a shocking team.”
Cheer up it’s got Dan Fish in it. Worse teams seem to be available…
LikeLike
Seems to be some talk of Dai Young to Ospreys.
LikeLike
Rugby Values™ overload from him, Kitson and a load of other twonks this past week.
LikeLike
Can’t lose the gravestones if the King of Welsh Goth is coming. Anyway it’s in their DNA.
LikeLike
The four horsemen of the apocalypse were actually 5: War, famine, pestilence, death and niggle.
Also, niggle got left off the 10 commandments for some reason. Though shalt not niggle thy neighbour in a team sport environment
LikeLiked by 4 people
“Looks like me and craigs are starting a band.”
You can have the name as long as you record my new song “What dem dinosaurs doing in dere?”.
LikeLike
Is this rise in niggle a sign of the end times? Is Eddie Jones actually the fifth horseman?
LikeLike
Ticht, so when does the move to the Homeland take place?
LikeLike
I’d leave it at least until this storm’s blown over.
LikeLike
Mrs CMW supposed to be driving the kids to Campbeltown tomorrow. Not convinced of the wisdom of this.
LikeLike
Avlet the Younger has been accepted to study at St Andrews. Yours truly was getting very excited as Scotland is top of my list to visit for family / mountain biking / fly fishing reasons. Sadly, for academic reasons, it is looking unlikely she’ll go that way……
LikeLike
Innocent question……
How come Hogg and Skinner turn out for Exeter but none of the England squad are released?
LikeLike
…..think maybe I’d sooner have Dollman at Full-back
LikeLike
‘How come Hogg and Skinner turn out for Exeter but none of the England squad are released?’
It’s because England are Evil.
LikeLike
glad I could clear that up.
LikeLike
It’s ‘cos the RFU have a release agreement with PRL or whatever. Other unions don’t, so either need a specific release clause (never gonna happen in general) or probably pay a wad of cash to get players released.
Also, Skinner isn’t in the Scotland squad currently as he’s just coming back from injury. Would like to see him back, personally.
LikeLike
Scarlets v Embra
The talk on Turk Unlimited (name changed) is that they’re very happy to get Rob Evans and Shingler back (yes Iks) and they were feeling pretty happy with the team selection until they saw the Embra team. Now hoping for wind/rain/armageddon otherwise it’s looking like a moral victory only. The reserve hooker (Booth) is nicked from the Wales U20’s team (cue tiny violin).
LikeLiked by 2 people
…….thanks Chimpie – I’ll share your info with my friend
LikeLike
……I didn’t realise England were evil…………………………..
LikeLike
‘Dinosaurs all still in the freezer. No science has occurred.’
Dunno, do we have a control dinosaur freezer to understand whether nothing happening is the expected result?
LikeLike
Legends U18s are playing Scotland this weekend.
LikeLike
‘I didn’t realise England were evil’
Pfffft.
LikeLike
Avs, we have had a big change of plan after the house sale fell through twice. We are staying put for a couple of years at least. It gives us time to enjoy Brighton, let the dust settle with Brexit and then look to move.
St Andrews is in a pretty location, didn’t Cat study there?
My youngest is looking to do a masters there after she finishes at Bristol
LikeLiked by 1 person
BRB, I’m a bit disappointed that the weather looks like it will be worse than it was for the Calcutta Cup match, Luke Crosbie has been our form back row these last few months, if he wasn’t facing stiff competition from Ritchie and Watson I’m sure he would have had game time against Ireland and England.
He’s one to look out for in the coming years, he is really quick, six foot five, seventeen and a half stones at 22 years old. The word is that he’s one of the hardest, most abrasive players in Scotland, he certainly carries the ball like he means it.
He will have an absolute stinker tomorrow now, guaranteed
LikeLiked by 1 person
@Ticht
“St Andrews is in a pretty location, didn’t Cat study there?
My youngest is looking to do a masters there after she finishes at Bristol”
Pfft. It’s no Cardiff.
LikeLike
Ah, the old commenter’s curse. It could be a great game in proper old fashioned conditions.
Let’s hope it goes ahead.
LikeLike
Triceratops were always the plucky underdog in old movies, fighting T-Rexes on clifftops while brylcreemed Victors and mascaraed Raquels looked on in their loincloths.
LikeLiked by 1 person
On rough crowds at rugby match – 1931/32 Springbok tour of Europe. St Helens v Swansea. A fair few fights on the pitch and then Swansea score a try, the tourists are lined up before the kick and a brick sails through the air and lands between Danie Craven and Boy Louw. The crowd was so angry after the game that the Boks were locked in their changing room.
1924 Olympic final in Paris – there was rioting in the stands as the USA beat France. One of the American reserve players was knocked unconscious by a fan’s walking stick. Crowd invaded pitch at full time and the Americans needed police escorts to get off the field:
https://www.californiagoldenblogs.com/2012/6/20/3067036/1924-rugby-a-wild-olympic-rematch
LikeLike