With two rounds down in the Six Nations, the shocking truth is that OvallyBalls underdoggers have been proven right – or perhaps have so disheartened their national sides that the players lost the will to play.
Here is the state of the nations:
| Team | Played | Won | Lost | Drawn | For | Against | Pts Diff | Bonus | Points |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Les Bleus du mal | 2 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 59 | 39 | 20 | 1 | 9 |
| Smiling Green Machine | 2 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 43 | 26 | 17 | 1 | 9 |
| Leeks | 2 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 56 | 24 | 32 | 1 | 5 |
| Saracens | 2 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 30 | 30 | 0 | 1 | 5 |
| Kiltie-wearers | 2 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 18 | 32 | -14 | 2 | 2 |
| Pasta-scoffers | 2 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 22 | 77 | -55 | 0 | 0 |
From this, we can observe several things. One is that the rankings should be based secondarily on the fewest points conceded, as it indicates a better defence. Any fool can score tries against a weaker defence. In the case of England, we can see that their attack and defence are equally great / rubbish [delete as appropriate]. And Scotland are the only side to have achieved two bonus points, although perhaps for the wrong reasons.
However, it’s still wide open for at least four teams. The remaining fixtures are as follows:
| 22/02 | Italy v Scotland | 14:15 |
| Wales v France | 16:45 | |
| 23/02 | England v Ireland | 15:00 |
| 07/03 | Ireland v Italy | 14:15 |
| England v Wales | 16:45 | |
| 08/03 | Scotland v France | 15:00 |
| 14/03 | Wales v Scotland | 14:15 |
| Italy v England | 16:45 | |
| France v Ireland | 20:00 |
The Super Saturday fixtures are, of course, being played in Heidelberg, so all true rugby fans should get their arses there.
My prediction is a narrow win for each of the home sides next weekend, which will bolster the excitement of the following rounds, except for Scottish fans, who will be gurning into their whiskey and cursing SuperSergio, homer refs and the professional era in general.
Meanwhile, this weekend we have Pro14 / English Premiership matches, if Dennis doesn’t menace all of them; Dragons v Treviso has already been cancelled.
Further Reading
TomPirracas has a better idea of how the Italy v Scotland match will go.
Chimpie is looking forward to this weekend’s ProWoo.
On the telly this week
Friday 14th February
| Blues 8 – 25 Crusaders | 06:05 | Sky Sports Action |
| Rebels 24 – 10 Waratahs | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| Glasgow 56 – 24 Zebre | 19:35 | Premier Sports 1 |
| Munster 68 – 3 Kings | 19:35 | Premier Sports 2 |
| Gloucester 15 – 26 Exeter | 19:45 | BT Sport 2 |
Saturday 15th February
| Sunwolves 17 – 43 Chiefs | 03:45 | Sky Sports Mix |
| Hurricanes 38 – 22 Sharks | 06:05 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Brumbies 22 – 23 Highlanders | 08:15 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Lions 30 – 33 Stormers | 13:05 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Leinster 35 – 12 Cheetahs | 14:30 | Free Sports |
| Leicester 18 – 9 Wasps | 15:00 | BT Sport 1 |
| Scarlets 9 – 14 Edinburgh | 15:00 | Premier Sports 2 |
| Ospreys 26 – 24 Ulster | 17:15 | S4C / Premier Sports 2 |
| Connacht 29 – 0 Cardiff | 19:35 | TG4 / Premier Sports 1 |
| Los Jaguares 43 – 27 Reds | 23:00 | Sky Sports Action |
Sunday 16th February
| Northampton v Bristol | 15:00 | BT Sport 1 |
Ovally Balls 
I really miss Sherlock Hound.
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Not Sherlock Hound, but the unforgettable “Sherlock Bones: Undercover Dog”. Arguably the zenith of the cinematic arts
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The few (read: three or four) times in my life where I’ve done a full week of training (two or three sessions a day, for four or five days) have been shit. It’s exhausting and even though I love eating and you have to eat loads you don’t enjoy it, you’re just cramming pasta and lean meat into your gob like some digesting robot.
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@enzo
Apparently my missus looks like the ginger one from Sex and the City. Although she isn’t ginger.
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That Dan Tuohy thing is a serious read. Jebus.
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Enzo, you mate saying your wife looks like Priti Patel is a double edged sword of some proportions! Does he have a thing for strong Tory women? Or does he despise Tories? Or does he have a thing for you but needs to deflect the attention onto your wife? These are urgent questions that need considered responses.
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My wife is a blonde, white woman. Yet she does look like PP.
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@Deebee, after he had his bit of inspiration said friend laughed a lot. He then said, “It’s funny, Priti Patel is actually evil.”
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Utnap
DonChuffo
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Tomp –
Seems like you’ll fit in at HSBC, though.
I fit in most places. A likeable chap, apparently.
I just find it odd that, at a time when they’ve just lost heavily, Labour candidates would pressure members with a difference of opinion to leave rather than persuade them that their opinions are wrong.
It says something that, despite the PM making racist comments and hiring race realists as advisors, the Tories are still roughly 12 points ahead of Labour according to most polls.
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English politics is fucked. I don’t live there any more, but if I had then, about six months before the election, I’d have been nailed on to vote Lib Dems. Then they turned (or revealed themselves as) rancid. In the end, I’d have cast a bewildered vote for the Labour Party. But this:
Is insanity.
And, yes, the Tories are worse. Much worse, in fact. But that’s not a good measurement. One of the few positive ways to frame the current Labour Party is in comparison with the Tories and that’s not good enough. Dismal.
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you’re just cramming pasta and lean meat into your gob like some digesting robot.
My ears etc.
@TomP – from (wobbly) memory, it was only later in his career that Burger became 1st receiver at every bloody ruck and maul that he wasn’t at the bottom of. Saved defence analysts a lot of time in figuring out how to defend against the Boks. Now of course, as the only team to have scored a try in a World Cup final in over four years, we’re the envy of World rugby with our attacking flair.
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When does Labour get its shiny new leader? Must be soon, no?
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Enzo – If I sound like I’m bigging up the Toris I’m not. I can’t remember a worse government in the UK tbh. It’s a clusterfuck.
Bring back John Major (only kidding).
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@craigs
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1981_United_Kingdom_budget
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I’d happily take John Major right now.
(No, that’s not a Karl)
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OT – I was born in 1982,
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Cheksit, eh?
I blame Corbyn. The man’s a menace.
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@craigs
Just putting it into perspective. These lot are nowhere near the vandals that took over in 1979:
These lot stayed there until 1997 – it’s like they were stuck there.
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DonChuffo IIRC – and yes, he was Welsh
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I’d have to concur, John Major was probably the best PM in my lifetime. Says a lot really about the quality of the competition
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A lot of Major revisionism going on here. Remember ‘back to basics’? That he looks more like some sort of political titan in retrospect is a sad indictment indeed.
Blair did some good things but has very major blots on his copybook. It’s probably impossible to find a PM that doesn’t really.
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I remember Thatcher resigning when I was a but a teen. Went round to a friend’s house where the parents were major thatcherites, it was like a family bereavement had happened. I was too polite to say anything.
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@deebee
April – I think. It’s a 3-way between Starmer, Long-Bailey (is it hyphenated or just 2 words), and Nandy. Thornberry didn’t get enough nominations (or something), Phillips dropped out early on
Festina lente and all that – there was probably no urgency to appoint a new leader on 13-DEC but it ought to be possible to get a move on with it and have someone in place for March
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On a train to Glasgow. Pissing down with rain.
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‘France coach Fabien Galthie has accused Wales of a “lack of respect” ahead of Saturday’s Six Nations encounter.’
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I suppose, I don’t really remember Margaret Thatcher.
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Really saddens me that, before almost every game nowadays, a battle of words ensues between coaches and others in the media
It helps no-one and reflects poorly on all involved, not least the journos who stoke it
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I generally have quite a high tolerance for the ‘war of words’ stuff. I think where it goes a bit sour is where people are directly trying to influence refs (e.g Wales this week, which was embarrassing to say the least).
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A smile never hurts, though, and remember it costs nothing.
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“It’s exhausting and even though I love eating and you have to eat loads you don’t enjoy it, you’re just cramming pasta and lean meat into your gob like some digesting robot.”
When I was doing my C&G electrician course there were a couple of guys who were competitive body builders. One of them was getting ready for a show and he was living off grilled chicken breasts and spinach, practically no carbs. I’ve never seen anyone take less pleasure in food.
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“Just putting it into perspective. These lot are nowhere near the vandals that took over in 1979:”
Carrying on the Simpsons quote for every occasion tradition of AOD, the above reminds me of when Bart says, “This is the worst day of my life”
Homer interjects helpfully, “it’s the worst day of your life, so far”
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@FBC
Embarrassing is right. Really poor from Wales
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When Thatcher resigned a party almost broke out at my school.
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@Tegz
Same. I can remember the person who told me did a little dance.
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‘hiring race realists as advisors’
‘race realists’ really needs the inverted commas. Or the simpler term, racists.
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@chimpie
I prefer “Quilletebiles”
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That “almost” is brilliant.
I almost won the world hackysack championship.
– So you didn’t win it.
No, I didn’t.
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It’s the marketplace of ideas. Racist ideas.
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Love listening to Justin Marshall commentating on the South Island derby. Crusaders legend, but a Southland boy at heart.
Can tell he really deep down wants H’landers to win, but also has loyalty to his old side
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Deebee, I always thought Schalla was a tremendous player – eye-gouging apart – and he was a really good passer of the ball. Don’t think he had the gas at test level at the end of his career so a battering ram he became.
Weird thing about him is that he was almost going to be a cricketer. When he went to Maties, he didn’t have much of an eye to playing rugby and had a contract with someone (probably WP cricket).
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England starting XV
15 Elliot Daly (Saracens, 41 caps)
14 Jonny May (Leicester Tigers, 54 caps)
13 Manu Tuilagi (Leicester Tigers, 41 caps)
12 Owen Farrell (Saracens, 81 caps) C
11 Jonathan Joseph (Bath Rugby, 49 caps)
10 George Ford (Leicester Tigers, 67 caps)
9 Ben Youngs (Leicester Tigers, 97 caps)
1 Joe Marler (Harlequins, 69 caps)
2 Jamie George (Saracens, 47 caps)
3 Kyle Sinckler (Harlequins, 33 caps)
4 Maro Itoje (Saracens, 36 caps)
5 George Kruis (Saracens, 43 caps)
6 Courtney Lawes (Northampton Saints, 83 caps)
7 Sam Underhill (Bath Rugby, 17 caps)
8 Tom Curry (Sale Sharks, 21 caps)
Finishers
16 Luke Cowan-Dickie (Exeter Chiefs, 22 caps)
17 Ellis Genge (Leicester Tigers, 16 caps)
18 Will Stuart (Bath Rugby, 1 cap)
19 Joe Launchbury (Wasps, 63 caps)
20 Charlie Ewels (Bath Rugby, 13 caps)
21 Ben Earl (Saracens, 1 cap)
22 Willi Heinz (Gloucester Rugby, 11 caps)
23 Henry Slade (Exeter Chiefs, 27 caps)
Eddie officially mad. Lock at 6, centre at wing, no 8.
Ireland by 100
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Seriously wtf is that team.
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5 locks in the XXIII.
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Ach, Curry did fine at 8 last outing. He’s a top player
6 and wing though. Yeah, mad.
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He’s gone lock crazy. I’d rather he’d picked this team against us 2 weeks ago.
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“This is the worst day of my life”
Homer interjects helpfully, “it’s the worst day of your life, so far”
Love this quote. Wonderfully bleak. There will always be a worse day.
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Homer was obviously talking about being an England fan on the day selections get announced.
I cannot fathom having a centre who is out of form and then putting him on the wing – why not pick Thorley if you have decided Furbank isn’t up to it and Daly needs to go back to FB (it’s a good job Daly is well known for his Mike Brownesque command of the high ball and that we’re not playing a team who love to roost it…)
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I’m getting to the point where I’d almost like us to lose to ireland and Wales so Eddie gets fired.
It’s like his ego means that because everyone’s been giving him shit for experimenting, he feels the need to “double down” just to prove a point.
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Good – front 5 is formidible, Tuilagi is back. May. Ford
Needs must -Youngs, Ford + Farrell
Bad- back row, Daly at 15, JJ at 11
Awful – 6/2 split with 2 locks. Why? Especially with a lock starting at 6. Surely the point of a 6/2 is to “carry” a specialist game-breaking back rower?
Ireland got a big chance here, even at Twickers, if they get early points on the board
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