We laughed at his five locks, his centre on the wing, and May at full-back. We laughed long and loud, and now are laughing out the other side of our faces, as our grannies told us we would.
Then we cried as we watched Ireland.
Sexton and Murray played with the all élite international skills and passion of reluctant replacements in a U14s game on a wet and cold Sunday afternoon at the end of a losing match in a losing season in Moneyrea when not even their dads could be arsed to turn up.
Meanwhile, Jones’s locks, particularly Itoje the Octopus and One-Brain-Cell (MotM), were rampantly joyful, or perhaps joyfully rampant – never been too up on these heraldic terms. Joseph was fine on the wing, and May didn’t even drop any balls (or so we’ve heard).
The one tiny crumb of comfort is that Ireland improved dramatically when John Cooney replaced Murray, and even managed a consolation try.
The warm-up matches to the Great Event were, of course, Italy v Scotland and Wales v France. The former had a few flashes of brilliance – Bellini, Hogg – but was otherwise a tedious affair.
Wales v France was one of those bonkers matches that looks more like pinball than rugby. Disappointingly (to Welsh fans), France forgot to throw the match away in the last quarter.
The rest of the Six Nations is up in the air due to Coronavirus; Ireland v Italy has been ‘postponed’, and we are certainly hoping for a rematch date and not the dreaded two-pointer.
Similarly, the Pro14 Ulster and Ospreys matches in Italy scheduled for this weekend have been put off, with the threat of a 0-0 draw being recorded for Treviso v Ulster if an alternative date cannot be found.
Further Reading
FalteringFullback’s thoughts on last weekend
On the telly this week
Friday 28th February
| Highlanders 22 – 28 Rebels | 06:05 | Sky Sports Action |
| Waratahs 29 – 17 Lions | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| Edinburgh 14 – 6 Cardiff | 19:35 | Premier Sports 1 |
| Leinster 55 – 19 Glasgow | 19:35 | Premier Sports 2 |
| Gloucester 17 – 23 Sale | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
Saturday 29th February
| Hurricanes v Sunwolves | 03:45 | Sky Sports Action |
| Reds v Sharks | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| Stormers v Blues | 13:05 | Sky Sports Action |
| Harlequins v Exeter | 15:00 | BT Sport 2 |
| Bulls v Los Jaguares | 15:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| Munster v Scarlets | 17:00 | TG4 / Free Sports |
| Dragons v Cheetahs | 17:15 | S4C / Premier Sports 2 |
Sunday 1st March
| Bath v Bristol | 15:00 | BT Sport 1 |
Ovally Balls 
Mvovo in the bin. They play on.
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The Reds score on 88 minutes. They still lose by 10.
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Steady on.
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Now’s their chance!
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Comment on the Leinster forum after last night’s game
“Isn’t that just like Glasgow, bring a game of 7s…to an Union fight.”
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Joe Marchant scores for the Blues in Cape Town. He’s on the wing today. Jean de Villiers giving JM ‘s name a big French pronunciation,
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“Jacques”?
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20-0 to the Blues over the unbeaten Stormers.Then Ioane drops the kick off, probably the Blues first mistake, and Juarno Augustus drives over to get the Stormers on the boat.
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I always thought Marchant looked a good England prospect – is he completely out of the loop now?
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33 – 14 now…………………………..
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He’s still only 23, 24 so time on his side. I like him as a player and am pleased he’s going well.
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Quins 13 – 13 Exeter at HT.
Exeter playing into foul weather in first half…………….
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I see BDB has got his leg up on the Saints bench after going off injured.
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All the clues point to Sherlock Hound killing the blog last night. How will he get out of this one?
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Chew Basil’s wrath bone?
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Bulls destroying the Jaguares 14-10 at Loftus. Warrick Gelant’s playing his 50th game and just scored a beauty,
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Spoke too soon. Jags score immediately and lead 19-14.
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17-14.
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Meanwhile I have a guilty conscience as I just got waylaid by a bloke called Chris who spotted I was watching rugby on this iPad. He apparently played scrum half for Germany when they hosted a Maori Under-23 team some time around 1988. Scored the only try in a 50-odd – 7 defeat.
He’s pretty drunk so I’ve buried my head in here after 5 mins small talk.
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For Fuck’s Sake. Diaz Bonilla chips and Moroni collects to put the Jags a hundred ahead at the half.
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2nd half starts with a wonderful run by Rosco Speckman that leads to a try by Cornall Hendricks. 21-24. Speckman is a fantastic runner.
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Quins win with a penalty try (exeter on two yellows) – their scrum too much for Exeter nearly all game
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Oh dear, they’re struggling to hang on to the flags at Thomond Park.
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Scarlets hooker already crocked, poor lad.
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Racing 49 – 0 La Rochelle……………………………………..!
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I probably went for La Ra on the ‘Bru.
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You’d expect Racing to win at home, but not La Rochelle to be nilled!
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Punches being thrown now … think a Scarlet will be going to the bin!
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Scarlets are losing a man here
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I’d have given a couple of yellows to others too,
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Cheetahs schooling the Drags at the moment. Looks like a home game for them.
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Yep, that’s a red!
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Munster then inevitably score. Scarlets looking demoralised. Half-time.
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I switched over to the Drags Cheetahs game
Hoverin’ by my suitcase
Tryin’ to find a warm place to spend the night
Heavy rain’s fallin’
Seems I hear your voice callin’ “it’s all right”
A rainy night in Newport
A rainy night in Newport
Lord, I believe it’s rainin’ all over the world
I feel like it’s rainin’ all over the world
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Elements unkind in Newport. Drags with the wind at their backs in the 2nd half. Who knows, but a decent Drags team should win this playing at home. Mainly down to set piece and half backs though, cos the centres are pedestrian at best.
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Munster score again.
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And Scarlets get a try.
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Now a yellow for a tip-tackle for Scarlets.
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And the try….
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“Munster throw caution to the wind”
What they did was pass the ball to a winger.
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TomP – aye, but it such a way that it was very nearly intercepted.
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What the fuck was Scannell thinking there?
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Who is the co-coms on the Munster Scarlets games?
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Ticht – not sure, someone even more one-eyed than Ferris.
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Thaum, I know it’s not the guy, but he reminds me of the bloke that was the agent for a few of the Munster players
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Munster finally get the BP try at 84 mins.
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Comedy end in Newport.
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Running it back from behind your own line, in injury time and at 10 all in a league match.
Top comedy.
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ticht, I think it was Ryle Nugent and Liam Toland.
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Most inconsiderate of Munster and the scarlets not to get a no score draw
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