We laughed at his five locks, his centre on the wing, and May at full-back. We laughed long and loud, and now are laughing out the other side of our faces, as our grannies told us we would.
Then we cried as we watched Ireland.
Sexton and Murray played with the all élite international skills and passion of reluctant replacements in a U14s game on a wet and cold Sunday afternoon at the end of a losing match in a losing season in Moneyrea when not even their dads could be arsed to turn up.
Meanwhile, Jones’s locks, particularly Itoje the Octopus and One-Brain-Cell (MotM), were rampantly joyful, or perhaps joyfully rampant – never been too up on these heraldic terms. Joseph was fine on the wing, and May didn’t even drop any balls (or so we’ve heard).
The one tiny crumb of comfort is that Ireland improved dramatically when John Cooney replaced Murray, and even managed a consolation try.
The warm-up matches to the Great Event were, of course, Italy v Scotland and Wales v France. The former had a few flashes of brilliance – Bellini, Hogg – but was otherwise a tedious affair.
Wales v France was one of those bonkers matches that looks more like pinball than rugby. Disappointingly (to Welsh fans), France forgot to throw the match away in the last quarter.
The rest of the Six Nations is up in the air due to Coronavirus; Ireland v Italy has been ‘postponed’, and we are certainly hoping for a rematch date and not the dreaded two-pointer.
Similarly, the Pro14 Ulster and Ospreys matches in Italy scheduled for this weekend have been put off, with the threat of a 0-0 draw being recorded for Treviso v Ulster if an alternative date cannot be found.
Further Reading
FalteringFullback’s thoughts on last weekend
On the telly this week
Friday 28th February
| Highlanders 22 – 28 Rebels | 06:05 | Sky Sports Action |
| Waratahs 29 – 17 Lions | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| Edinburgh 14 – 6 Cardiff | 19:35 | Premier Sports 1 |
| Leinster 55 – 19 Glasgow | 19:35 | Premier Sports 2 |
| Gloucester 17 – 23 Sale | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
Saturday 29th February
| Hurricanes v Sunwolves | 03:45 | Sky Sports Action |
| Reds v Sharks | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| Stormers v Blues | 13:05 | Sky Sports Action |
| Harlequins v Exeter | 15:00 | BT Sport 2 |
| Bulls v Los Jaguares | 15:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| Munster v Scarlets | 17:00 | TG4 / Free Sports |
| Dragons v Cheetahs | 17:15 | S4C / Premier Sports 2 |
Sunday 1st March
| Bath v Bristol | 15:00 | BT Sport 1 |
Ovally Balls 
According to Midol, this is the probable French XV for Scotland:
Bouthier ; Penaud, Vakatawa, Vincent, Fickou ; Ntamack, Dupont ; Ollivon, Alldritt, Cros ; Willemnse, Le Roux ; Haouas, Marchand, Poirot (or Gros)
Bench : Chat (or Mauvaka), Gros (or Poirot), Bamba, Taofifenua, Cretin, Serin, Jalibert, Ramos
Thats the squad I expect as well.
Chat does not seem fully fit.
Baille (loose head) being injured it will be Gros or Poirot.
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Hmm. Penaud a big upgrade on TT. Looking strong.
Rumours of a largely unchanged Scotland team, changes being Ghilchrist & Haining starting. Not sure who they’d be dropped for, presumably Toolis & Bradbury.
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Cheers everyone. Things are total chaos but it’ll all be grand.
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got travel restrictions in place now at work for ‘non critical’ travel. Nae more management jollies.
Not going to stop me being temporarily Dublin based next week though. Might even get a couple of lunches.
Pistols at dawn. There ain’t room for two of us in this blog.
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Apart from the 2nd row, that France side looks flaky as fuck.
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Enzo, good luck to Mrs Enzo – sounds horrible. Also don’t tell her jokes. Had a couple of cracked ribs a while back and my mates* took turns telling me jokes.
* ‘mates’
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My trip to Italy and London basically fucked with this news today. A bit pissed off, but hoping to get over end of May or early June. With a bit of luck (and cunning planning) I may be up for a drinks session then in London. Hope so!
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Not even James Bond can shake off Coronavirus
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Laz – hope your Mrs feels better soon. Sounds really crap tbh.
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I’ve been putting more ceiling storage space in my garage today.
Didn’t get stuck cos I learnt my lesson.
Did manage to smash my finger with the hammer though.
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@craigs
This time you covered yourself in lard.
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Larry – sorry to hear about Mrs Larry.
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OT – No lard involved this time.
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Your poor missus, lazza. Fingers crossed all goes well.
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The rich can always find a way:
I mean you can uderstand why.
Well, it’s not going to hurt is it.
Here comes the topper –
What the fuck. Class War now.
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From: https://www.ft.com/content/e1735d36-572e-11ea-a528-dd0f971febbc
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Oh dear me, I shouldn’t laugh, but… I saw a headline on one of them satirical newsites –
Retro-Hipster tests positive for SARS!
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TBH, I’d rather buy Harry a beer at a Coldplay gig than meet Boris Johnson or send my kids to the school these fuckers all go to
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Ha ha ha
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TomP – ha ha ha indeed. Muppets.
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All sporting events in Italy to be played behind closed doors.
Wonder if Parisse still fancies rocking up one more time.
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If it’s on the telly, he’ll be there.
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It must be a hellish existence, dogfighting over reservations for the hotel/restaurant/event du jour
I’d rather spend my morning on one of the Chines in Bournemouth and then head for fish and chips at Chez Fred’s – or other local equivalents.
Leave them all to their frenzy
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One of the comments underneath the article:
I have some experience of Quintessentially from one of the corporate programmes described in this article (i’m surprised to be characterized as a wealthy person!) . I found the concierge service quite useless. I tried it out a few times for hotel bookings and the suggestions amounted to what I could get myself on Expedia along with a flowery email from their lifestyle consultant. Once I asked for restaurant suggestions to entertain a group of visitors from Beijing. Expected some hidden gems, but they came back after a day recommending a Peking restaurant in the basement of my office building. I’d be much happier with a customer loyalty programme that offered the occasional desk calendar and some free stationery.
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I do miss the A4 size desk diaries my wife used to get at Christmas from agencies who were punting for work, the digital age is not all good.
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They were bound with padded faux leather, contained maps of the world, embossed with something gold coloured.
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My granddad was a GP. After my granny died he got a bit more earthy with his language. One day, and this would have been 9 years after he retired, he asked me to go shopping for him and handed me a list. I was surprised that there was the name of a prescription drug printed at the head of the sheet of paper. He told me, “Drug reps were fucking annoying but god knows I’ll never run out of notepaper or pens”..
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Naarch into extra time against Spurs. If they win, expect a deluge of CMW posts.
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Norwich win!
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Jurgen Klopp should be Knighted:
“What I don’t like in life is that a very serious thing, a football manager’s opinion is important,” Klopp told reporters. “I don’t understand that. I really don’t understand it, if I asked you, you are in exactly the same role as I am. So it’s not important what famous people say.
“We have to speak about things in the right manner, not people with no knowledge, like me, talking about something. People with knowledge will talk about it and tell people to do this, do that, and everything will be fine, or not. Not football managers, I don’t understand that.
“Politics, coronavirus, why me? I wear a baseball cap and have a bad shave. I’m concerned like everyone else. I live on this planet and I want it to be safe and healthy, I wish everybody the best, absolutely. But my opinion on coronavirus is not important.”
Also, every 3rd-rate celebrity who thinks their endorsement of a politician is important should read that. So should the 3rd-rate politicians who crave celebrity endorsements.
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He’s just deflecting, Deebee. Crisis Club Liverpool need a break after two terrible defeats on the bounce.
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Some VR rugby
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Some good news from last year’s World Cup (apart from the final result, of course – we all know that that was good for rugby):
Concussions were down 28 percent at the 2019 Rugby World Cup in Japan compared with the 2018 elite competition average, World Rugby announced on Wednesday.
I won’t post the rest as it’s basically just the blazers congratulating themselves hugely on their incredible achievement before passing the port.
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TomP – Liverpool’s slump has coincided with the arrival of Coronavirus in Europe. I don’t think that’s a coincidence. Klopp is an absolute saint for not linking the two and demanding that our shining lads be given the points and matches in the Cup competitions because without this extraordinary attack on Liverpool, we’d have swept the boards. A Saint, I tell you!
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In the end every great side inevitably slumps dismally , horribly painfully, D-dawg. As fans we sometimes forget that. Best to get your disillusion in early. Klopp Out!
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Please can I ask for Ovallyballs collective wisdom and assistance with a very delicate, embarrassing matter? I really have no idea how it happened and I don’t seem to be able to get rid of it at all, despite repeated attempts. I’m not trying to deflect responsibility here or apportion blame to others, but I don’t know what happened. Here goes: every morning when I open my inbox I have a Twitter message from Piers Morgan. How the hell do I get rid of it?
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Forget Klopp, the real, absolute star and saint of the day is PS duToit – the man can do no wrong. Seriously, he is simply form another planet of humility, graciousness and loyalty:
Stormers and Springbok star Pieter-Steph du Toit has reportedly turned down an offer from English club Harlequins. According to the UK-based The Rugby Paper, Harlequins were interested in signing the 2019 World Rugby Player of the Year as a replacement for former England captain Chris Robshaw.
I suppose it could be argued that he didn’t want to carry backwards as Robshaw’s replacement.
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Morning everyone. Work has cancelled my Frankfurt trip which means I’m not going to make it to Heidelberg next weekend. Pretty frustrating but there you go.
I hope to get there some other time.
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I do love Klopp and Pep. They are both intense in the right areas and pretty chilled in the others. I’d happily have a beer with both / either.
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Change your Twitter name from Meghan❤️Markle to Lunchman957886444618876
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I can’t see behind the FT pay wall so I assume that is more detail about the Free Speach Alliance right?
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Hong Kong authorities have warned people to avoid kissing their pets, but also to not panic and abandon them after a dog repeatedly tested “weak positive” for coronavirus.
Boak
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‘Hong Kong authorities have warned people to avoid kissing their pets’
Wish I’d read that before givithe cat a smooch this morning
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Chimpie – how is Cat? Been a while since we last saw him.
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Cat’s fine. Peed on the floor the other day rather than the cat tray so got excluded to the outside shelter overnight. Didn’t seem to enjoy his morning smooch today.
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Oh, that cat.
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FlyBE collapses.
Sarah Nicol,Andy’s niece, was a pilot for them.
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Italy/England postponed.
Sergio better find a vaccine or else…
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Flybe’s demise may slightly inconvenience me. Down with this sort of thing
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