As usual, the Celts took the up-front hit: Ireland v Wales was cancelled postponed, followed by Treviso v Ulster and Zebre v Ospreys. Then came the news that Mako Vunipola was self-isolating from the England camp, although apparently it’s okay to infect the Saracens camp. (They’re relegated anyway: who cares?) Today’s shocking news is that Italy v England is also sacrificed to Covid-19.
But fear not, rugby fans! There is one person on our side, one person who knows that it’s all a big hoax. A person whose intimate involvement with Scottish golf courses has led to a love of rugby, inspired by Gavin Hastings.
“I think the 3.4% [death rate] is really a false number.
“Now, this is just my hunch, based on a lot of conversations with a lot of people that do this, because a lot of people will have this, and it’s very mild – they’ll get better very rapidly, they don’t even see a doctor, they don’t even call a doctor.
“You never hear about those people, so you can’t put them down in the category of the overall population, in terms of this corona flu, and/or virus. So you just can’t do that. So there is no reason for Six Nations matches to be deep-sixed. DBWR are just a bunch of wimps.”
This is of course very comforting, as everyone knows that Donald Trump’s hunches are enormously more accurate than the wild speculations of the World Health Organisation. While it’s true that a vast number of Americans won’t even call a doctor because they can’t afford to, deathly ill or not, the POTUS’s clarion call to laugh and snap our fingers at what the so-called experts are openly referring to as a pandemic will save our Six Nations and Pro-Woo.
The President is being undermined by snivelling lefties who are rejoicing at the thought of millions of people dying, economic Armageddon being unleashed, and – more importantly – rugby matches being cancelled, just to criticise The Donald. As the Guardian (itself a very dubious source) reports:
Peter Hegseth, a co-host of Fox & Friends Weekends, admonished Democrats’ criticism, saying: “They’re rooting for the coronavirus to spread. They’re rooting for it to grow. They’re rooting for the problem to get worse.”
“They’re probably jumping for joy,” Fox & Friends co-host Ainsley Earhardt said about the Democrats’ reaction to Six Nations matches being cancelled.
OvallyBalls can also reveal that Donald Trump is behind Vunipola’s decision to train with the Saracens:
“If we have thousands or hundreds of thousands of people that get better, just by, you know, sitting around and even going to work, some of them go to work, but they get better, and then when you do have a death, like you’ve had in the state of Washington, like you had one in California, I believe you had one in New York.”
While it turns out that no-one has yet died from coronavirus in New York (it’s only Trump’s home state, so why should he know?), the President’s message is clear: Get to work, you slackers, and you will be healed. Front up to the scrummage. Un-cancel the rugby matches. Work makes you free of coronavirus. Unless you’re dead.
Televisual rugby feasts not cancelled as yet:
Friday 6th March
| Sunwolves 14 – 47 Brumbies | 03:45 | Sky Sports Mix |
| Crusaders 24 – 20 Reds | 06:05 | Sky Sports Action |
| Waratahs 14 – 51 Chiefs | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| Dragons 25 – 37 Treviso (really?) | 19:35 | Premier Sports 1 |
| England 22 – 23 Wales U20s | 19:45 | BT Sport Action |
| Worcester 10 – 16 Saints | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
Saturday 7th March
| Hurricanes 15 – 24 Blues | 06:0t | Sky Sports Action |
| Rebels 37 – 17 Lions | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| England 66 – 7 Wales (women) | 12:05 | S4C / Sky Sports Action |
| Sharks v Los Jaguares | 13:05 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Bulls v Highlanders | 15:15 | Sky Sports Arena |
| England v Wales | 16:45 | ITV / S4C |
| Scotland v France (women) | 19:45 | BBC Alba / website/ button |
Sunday 8th March
| Bristol v Harlequins | 13:00 | BT Sport 1 |
| Scotland v France | 15:00 | BBC One / website / button |
Ovally Balls 
@bb
Is “Chubby Little Loser” on the list?
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Evening all. We have shut-down light, a mix of good sense and the absurd (hairdressers, laundromats, dry cleaners open, but no customers).
As Flair and Slade said, Spring has also gone mad here. The sun, blossoms and birdsong soften the blow. I can still go out and walk wherever I want, and have learned a lot more about how nice this place is. More to follow…
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OT – I always thought Bowie was a bully.
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So with the schools shut from Friday we’ve been sent a load of stuff for the kids to do at home and Mrs Craig’s is not looking forward to homeschooling.
Maybe I’ll be all heroic and battle into the office.
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These kids are out maintaining the Heidelberg spirit!!
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MrIks, laundromats remaining open makes sense. Lots of people, mostly poor and young, need them for basic hygiene.
Other businesses?
Pfffff. More demagogy. This thing is serious.
My daughter and her boyfriend, though very careful, both met the damn virus. They’re young and strong, And seem to cope as well.as possible. Still, wished it was me, and not them.
Be careful.
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Craigs – massive twats.
As for the Bowie list, I haven’t looked at it, but Sound and Vision as number one? Well, it’s a very good song, but wouldn’t put it top. Long-memoried readers of this blog will know that Candidate / Sweet Thing / Candidate Reprise is my favourite.
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Yes, fair point about laundromats Flair.
Many food outlets are open until 6pm if they can serve takeaways over the counter. There’s a fair few students, young folk meeting in groups in public spaces to enjoy the gorgeous weather, and the overall feel is like a boring Sunday without so many tourists and folk coming into town from the villages. Social distancing seems 50/50 depending on how young, old or scared you are.
The supermarkets are just weird. Shelves with fresh fruit and veg are overflowing with produce, there’s nothing you can’t find. On the other hand deep freezers are almost empty, and you can add tinned tomatoes to the toilet roll panic list.
And Flair, you keep safe too!
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In fairness, the kidz meeting up here aren’t Morons in Miami, Craigs. Meeting up in small groups to sit and chat under trees or on the river bank is within current guidelines.
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OT, by coincidence I’ve been watching those WILTY programmes on youtube these last months, and I think they are great generally. Bob M though is just brilliant.
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Scotland were my secret team for much of the seventies. As mentioned here a few times before David Leslie was my favourite player from all teams.
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Here’s Cheekbone Pete in one of the Maxell tapes ad:
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My favourite Bowie songs are the glam and Berlin ones. Sound and Vision seems a mundane choice for number 1.
There are a lot of good songs in Pete Murphy’s solo career. Here are a couple of my favourites:
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I like Sound and Vision a lot. And as someone says BTL on the Guardian it’s kind of topical:
Pale blinds drawn all day
Nothing to do, nothing to say
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Iks – Sound and Vision *is* a Berlin choon. It’s just probably the poppiest one of all.
CMW – good observation.
And I have sat right down, waiting for the gift of sound and vision to publish a new post. Will let it soak overnight.
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I always liked V2 Schneider so I might be the best judge.
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That Bowie list is just weird – no Lady Grinning Soul, Moonage Daydream way too low, see also Heroes, even if it is at 5, no Cat People…
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Catching up with some crosswords – this clue from the Observer was fun: Drugs dipped in caviar for Brat Pack actor (3,4)
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Good lord Mark Titley and Arthur Emyr ?
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This amusing.
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I was at that England-Wales game, Tim. Dark days. Andy Allen of Newbridge got one of his handful of caps. There’s a photo of Carling scoring his try and Allen arriving much too late.
Anyway:
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Is that a Wyn-Jones in the title page pic, by any chance ?
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@El Rayo – Thanks – wonderful memories. That’s the first game of rugby I remember ever watching, aged 9. My dad leapt so high at one of the tries his head hit the light shade and I sat there, watching it swinging.
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That old British Bulldog spirit that we heard so much about during Brexit has come to the fore in times of trouble right enough.
Suffolk trading standards have issued warnings of a flyer from British Red Cross being posted through the doors of the elderly, offering to go and buy groceries. The “volunteers” turn up, pick up a shopping list and the cash and that’s the last the people see of them.
A food bank in Hull has closed a collection point as people were stealing from it.
My daughter’s friend works in the Co-op, someone came in from mental health services to buy lots of hand sanitiser to replace the stuff that had been stolen from their premises
A hotel chain just sacked their staff by letter and told them to leave their on-site accommodation immediately, some of them can’t get back to their home countries.
I’m deliberately not going to moan and piss about things right now, but this along with selfish bastards stripping supermarket shelves makes it hard to stomach, so this is my solitary gripe, at least until the next one.
It’s a good thing we have strong, proactive leadership who are ensuring we all obtain the food and supplies we need, eh?
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@ticht
All that is shocking behaviour, obviously. Anyway just to temper that rage slightly – I’m on the periphary of the ventilators thing (probably one phone call a day) and it’s actually quite heartening how this collaboration is coming together. There is a genuine desire to make this happen and to close the gap on the needed number of ventilators by any means.
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People, eh.
to quote Bronn (GoT for those who aren’t aware) in a concise moment, there’s no cure for being a c**t.
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Ticht is our own ventilator at the moment! No need for poxy Bojo and his Raable – we’ve got it covered.
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Great comment from the Graun CiF
Remember this.
When this is all over, and it won’t last forever, just remember the things you’ve learned.
Key workers are not hedge fund managers, bankers, CEO’s etc.
Your key workers are care workers, cleaners, shop workers, drivers nurses etc.
The same people that only a few weeks ago this sack of shite government was calling “unskilled”
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From one “arusticview”
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Been seeing the full spectrum of behaviours first hand during the last week although it has to be said most people (I’ve been in contact with anyhoo) are behaving pretty well.
Had an argument with a fried yesterday who was trying to defend panic buying which annoyed me intensely.
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@chimpie
A friend of mine posted a picture of someone with a trolley full of bog roll – something like 70-80 bog rolls. I’ve wracked my brains to try and work out why anyone would do that. It isn’t fear, and it isn’t just being prudent and making sure you’ve got enough. To get through that much will take months. I’m pretty sure the only reason people do that is to deprive others of it – a weird kind of “I’m alright Jack” attitude but over a situation that you help to create yourself.
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was reading the other day about the upcoming agricultural harvest season & how 90% odd of labourers are seasonal foreign ‘unskilled’ labourers who may well not be coming (unless they’re here already). Off to the fields with us all.
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@OT
It’s bizarre. I just don’t get it, am I missing something regarding the bog roll supply chain [1] that means we’re going to run out as a world imminently?
[1] apart from idiots stockpiling the stuff.
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Might not be a bad idea, Chimpie. Nicely old-school Communist Party of my current neck of the woods as well – Brigada work it was called.
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@chimpie
There is no bog roll shortage. Even the manufacturers are confused
https://inews.co.uk/news/coronavirus-uk-stockpiling-toilet-roll-no-shortage-manufacturer-supermarket-2481773
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I read the other day it could be because toilet paper comes in big packages usually. Also, people don’t know how much they news.
Last week I told my missus I was going to the shop to collect some essentials, such as toilet paper. She said not to worry as we had plenty. Then this week she was musing over why the British are panic-buying it as it’s been on Czech news. Her theory is Brits have an anal obsession*. This also explains the Empire, probably.
* A double Karl.
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how much they use not how much they news.
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I was in Lidl yesterday and in the queue for the checkout, was staying a sensible distance from the chap in front of me. Suddenly, this woman started invading my space and looking at me all strange, and I realised it was because the conveyor belt had moved a bit ahead of the people, so I was standing beside her shopping instead of mine. A couple of faked coughs into my sleeve dealt with that situation quickly enough. Such weird times, every day brings out some new Garkinkel-esque ‘breach’ experiment.
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1980’s N America TV XV
1.BA Baracus from the A Team (Mr T) – big, strong, tough, doesn’t like flying. I pity the fool who props against him
2 TJ Hooker – obvious
3. Boss Hogg from Dukes of Hazard – got the bulk, the sly stuff and the style
4. Wonderwoman (as played by Linda Carter) – great defence, always wraps things up
5. Manimal, taking the form of a giraffe
6. Colt Seevers (the fall guy) – when he ends up in the hay, its only hey, hey hey
7. ‘Howlin’ Mad Murdoch from the A-Team – gets everywhere, bends the rules
8. Hannibal Smith from the A Team (Capt) – The leader. Loves it when a scrum comes together
9. Doogie Howser MD – quick witted, a bit irritating
10. MacGyver – always makes things happen
11. Gonzo the great (muppet show) – daring, fast, not all that bright
12. Michael Knight from Knight Rider (the ‘Hoff) – reliable, courageous, versatile
13. ‘Faceman’ from the A-team – bit of a fancy dan. Smooth and silky
14. Sherriff Rosco P Coltrane from the Dukes of Hazard – in hot pursuit
15. The pilot guy from Airwolf – great aerial skills.
Geez, I am bored!
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Now, one of you kidz do a 90s XV or a 00s XV.
Rule – no soap opera characters allowed. No reality TV “stars”
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Good team, Utna, but I’d be tempted to go with Crockett & Tubbs as a half back pairing as they know each other’s game so well
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Also, people don’t know how much they news.
Think you’re using the wrong paper.
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@Ticht
Thought about them as a pair, and also Cagney & Lacey (though suspect they are more suited to RL)
But couldn’t leave out Angus Mac and his mullet for the ages. “Don’t thank me, thank the gravitational pull of the moon”
And so needed a 9 to complement the great man
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“Every day brings out some new Garkinkel-esque ‘breach’ experiment”
And yet you all wonder why people think they need so much bog roll.
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New post in ten minutes….
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