As usual, the Celts took the up-front hit: Ireland v Wales was cancelled postponed, followed by Treviso v Ulster and Zebre v Ospreys. Then came the news that Mako Vunipola was self-isolating from the England camp, although apparently it’s okay to infect the Saracens camp. (They’re relegated anyway: who cares?) Today’s shocking news is that Italy v England is also sacrificed to Covid-19.
But fear not, rugby fans! There is one person on our side, one person who knows that it’s all a big hoax. A person whose intimate involvement with Scottish golf courses has led to a love of rugby, inspired by Gavin Hastings.
“I think the 3.4% [death rate] is really a false number.
“Now, this is just my hunch, based on a lot of conversations with a lot of people that do this, because a lot of people will have this, and it’s very mild – they’ll get better very rapidly, they don’t even see a doctor, they don’t even call a doctor.
“You never hear about those people, so you can’t put them down in the category of the overall population, in terms of this corona flu, and/or virus. So you just can’t do that. So there is no reason for Six Nations matches to be deep-sixed. DBWR are just a bunch of wimps.”
This is of course very comforting, as everyone knows that Donald Trump’s hunches are enormously more accurate than the wild speculations of the World Health Organisation. While it’s true that a vast number of Americans won’t even call a doctor because they can’t afford to, deathly ill or not, the POTUS’s clarion call to laugh and snap our fingers at what the so-called experts are openly referring to as a pandemic will save our Six Nations and Pro-Woo.
The President is being undermined by snivelling lefties who are rejoicing at the thought of millions of people dying, economic Armageddon being unleashed, and – more importantly – rugby matches being cancelled, just to criticise The Donald. As the Guardian (itself a very dubious source) reports:
Peter Hegseth, a co-host of Fox & Friends Weekends, admonished Democrats’ criticism, saying: “They’re rooting for the coronavirus to spread. They’re rooting for it to grow. They’re rooting for the problem to get worse.”
“They’re probably jumping for joy,” Fox & Friends co-host Ainsley Earhardt said about the Democrats’ reaction to Six Nations matches being cancelled.
OvallyBalls can also reveal that Donald Trump is behind Vunipola’s decision to train with the Saracens:
“If we have thousands or hundreds of thousands of people that get better, just by, you know, sitting around and even going to work, some of them go to work, but they get better, and then when you do have a death, like you’ve had in the state of Washington, like you had one in California, I believe you had one in New York.”
While it turns out that no-one has yet died from coronavirus in New York (it’s only Trump’s home state, so why should he know?), the President’s message is clear: Get to work, you slackers, and you will be healed. Front up to the scrummage. Un-cancel the rugby matches. Work makes you free of coronavirus. Unless you’re dead.
Televisual rugby feasts not cancelled as yet:
Friday 6th March
| Sunwolves 14 – 47 Brumbies | 03:45 | Sky Sports Mix |
| Crusaders 24 – 20 Reds | 06:05 | Sky Sports Action |
| Waratahs 14 – 51 Chiefs | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| Dragons 25 – 37 Treviso (really?) | 19:35 | Premier Sports 1 |
| England 22 – 23 Wales U20s | 19:45 | BT Sport Action |
| Worcester 10 – 16 Saints | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
Saturday 7th March
| Hurricanes 15 – 24 Blues | 06:0t | Sky Sports Action |
| Rebels 37 – 17 Lions | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| England 66 – 7 Wales (women) | 12:05 | S4C / Sky Sports Action |
| Sharks v Los Jaguares | 13:05 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Bulls v Highlanders | 15:15 | Sky Sports Arena |
| England v Wales | 16:45 | ITV / S4C |
| Scotland v France (women) | 19:45 | BBC Alba / website/ button |
Sunday 8th March
| Bristol v Harlequins | 13:00 | BT Sport 1 |
| Scotland v France | 15:00 | BBC One / website / button |
Ovally Balls 
Newportonians are impervious to all viral illnesses.
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That’s only because they’re the source of most viral illnesses in Wales.
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Yos: “shingler4walez”
Even on Turk Unlimited, they are struggling with this. Apparently Cory Hill has a knock, but that still leaves Rowlands and Beard with Faletau covering the back row.
Also North, regardless of protocols I can’t see how this a good idea.
Still, it’s managed our expectations.
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Am very surprised at North being selected. Are the medics just doing what they’re told? Similar for Biggar.
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After Warburton’s heart-rending (no, really) admissions of how much it cost him to keep playing, I wonder if Wales has some sort of institutional problem with forcing players to play beyond their physical capacity.
And after this season’s performances, Ireland may have a similar problem.
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Sexton is clearly crocked and needs some time off; not sure what Murray’s problem is. He did have an injury, but he doesn’t look physically injured; either the injury is still there or it’s a mental one.
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Thaum, I think it’s a problem across the board, Rory Lamont spoke out when he was finally forced to retire
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/rugby-union/23495774
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Sometimes you just need to ignore the world’s descent into madness, and enjoy some of the greatest rock n roll ever performed, or recorded:
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Here’s one for Yosoy: Giant leaf for mankind
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It seems it’s a consequence of thin resources. There must be a mindset or culture of expectation that you play on through the pain and increased risk of permanent damage.
Foxy had very peculiar looking strapping on his leg when he played while injured in the RWC, and is out for an entire season – for the second time. Adams done his ankle in against Ireland but played again against France and properly crocked it.
I can see North ending up with real brain damage, and I don’t say that glibly.
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I’m still quite spooked by Pivac’s selections. There might be some nice offloads when we have possession once in each half.
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Not as spooked as I am by Eddie’s, Iks, me old duckfeeder.
Wales by ten.
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It’s a bit of both innit? It’s not like we have a conveyor belt of good players and injured players always want to play on when mid/long term it’s a daft idea, but then RWC semis and the like don’t happen every week.
It reminds me of the time that I *long winded story of losing my big toe nail playing touch and carrying on, like a trooper. Can’t let the ladz down. As I was saying to Foxy, not everyone is lucky enough to grace the 3G in Pentwyn Leisure Centre*
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It’s grown back fine. Thanks for asking.
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Got pffft-ed by a coach once when I’d knackered my neck trying to tackle a large no. 8 head on with my heid. I suggested a may need a week or two off training and playing as I could barely move my neck only to get told my attitude was poor [1]. ’twas hardly lions / test level rugby either.
[1] it probably was overall but ‘snot the point in this case.
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It was a hurtful pfft.
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I lost a toenail to a concrete slab once – pain level sore but not that bad.
Broken collarbone, pain level, well I played on until I realised I couldn’t really use my arm properly.
Broken ankle/shredded ligaments, pain level pretty bad
Broken ribs, pain level fucking sore
Toothache, pain level, I drank a bottle of brandy
Back spasm, pain level – think of a felling axe being buried into the base of your spine
Sash windowing a finger nail, yes a top sash fell on to my finger nail. Pain level indescribable, the nail still doesn’t grow properly 35 years later
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Rumour of Weir making to squad for Sunday
Lot of leakiness going on.
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I have another one, but I’ll spare you the details. It involved a pin being taken out after an op on a dislocated finger.
Hurt fingers really hurt is the take away message here
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Was it Pentwyn Leisure Centre, aka the Gold Standard, level?
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Chimpie, I got dropped for having food poisoning, not the week of the illness when I called off, but after
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Toothache is up there in terms of pain. Ended up having a pair of emergency root canals once upon a time in Tasmania.
Disc prolapse pain was pretty diabolical, but for sheer ghastly relentlessness gallstone pain possibly the most galling. Thank feck for modern medicine is all I can say.
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It’s always gold standard when I touch the ball.
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I’m sure karl would have a field day with that
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Sage advice AVS! And a cracking song!
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Chimpie getting pffted sounds the most painful. You just don’t recover from that kind of hurt.
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a pfft can be a harsh thing.
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Probably need to reign in the pfft-ing
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Playing outside half one time and had a hair out of place. Quite rightly the coach pulled me off (yes) and said I needed to sort out my attitude.
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Ramona, Mari, Lee, Rae, Maureen, Aileen, George* and many more**.
But the first pfft is the deepest. Christine Evans got her friend to return the Christmas card I posted by hand to her.
*Georgina
**Possibly
I at least was pfft-ed by lasses with interesting names.
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Coincidentally, also the name of my upcoming country album.
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https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2020/mar/06/i-was-lucky-the-asylum-seeker-campaigning-for-others-to-learn-welsh
I thought this was a very nice, and all too rare, positive story
Of course, it resonates a bit with me. My father was a political refugee (probably would have been called and asylum seeker nowadays) who settled in Wales – I guess me and the other family members were too since we came with him. I was only a year old, so don’t remember
Anyway, my dad was a talented linguist and learnt Welsh within a few years, like the chap in the article. My dad used to get wheeled out occasionally on S4C news/current affairs programs in the 80s as a bit of a novelty – a swarthy immigrant who spoke fluent Welsh
I, however, grew up in Cardiff in a mainly English speaking household and, like the rest of the english speaking kids that made up my school, I was very apathetic about learning Welsh, much to my father’s chagrin. Did have a few Welsh speaking friends, but they went to the “Welsh school” and the prevailing view amongst my schoolmates and masters was that “everyone speaks English anyway, so what’s the point?”. Looking back, this was stupid and shortsighted.
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“your”
EXETER CHIEFS SIDE TO FACE BATH
15 Phil Dollman, 14 Tom O’Flaherty, 13 Ian Whitten, 12 Tom Hendrickson, 11 Olly Woodburn
10 Joe Simmonds (capt), 9 Nic White
1 Alec Hepburn, 2 Elvis Taione, 3 Harry Williams, 4 Jannes Kirsten, 5 Jonny Hill, 6 Dave Ewers, 7 Jacques Vermeulen, 8 Sam Simmonds
16 Jordon Poole, 17 Ben Moon, 18 Enrique Pieretto, 19 Will Witty, 20 Don Armand, 21 Jack Maunder
22 Gareth Steenson, 23 Jack Nowell
Skinner to Scotland
Return of Nowell
Thank goodness Baxter signed Kirsten and Vermeulen
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Chimp-chimenee, Chimp-chimenee, Chimp-Chimp cheree
A “pffftt” is as hurtful as hurtful can be…………………………….
…………ithankyew
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Scotland: Stuart Hogg (capt), Sean Maitland, Chris Harris, Sam Johnson, Blair Kinghorn, Adam Hastings, Ali Price; Rory Sutherland, Fraser Brown, Zander Fagerson, Scott Cummings, Grant Gilchrist, Jamie Ritchie, Hamish Watson, Nick Haining.
Replacements: Stuart McInally, Allan Dell, WP Nel, Sam Skinner, Magnus Bradbury, George Horne, Duncan Weir, Kyle Steyn.
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France: Anthony Bouthier, Damian Penaud, Virimi Vakatawa, Arthur Vincent, Gael Fickou, Romain Ntamack, Antoine Dupont; Jefferson Poirot, Julien Marchand, Mohamed Haouas, Bernard Le Roux, Paul Willemse, Francois Cros, Charles Ollivon (capt), Gregory Alldritt.
Replacements: Camille Chat, Jean-Baptiste Gros, Demba Bamba, Taofifenua, Cretin, Baptiste Serin, Matthieu Jalibert, Ramos.
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My early week optimism has deserted me.
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The Return of Cooface
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This is quite brilliant
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That looks a very strong Scotland team. Aside from Haining (who I don’t know much about so can’t say), every player looks strong enough for intl, and there are a few top quality players intl players too. Not sure about the reserve backs, but the forward bench is also pretty good.
Centres are decent, but no idea why Scott isn’t the 1st name on the teamsheet (unless injured) – pure class.
Have watched Scotland this 6N, and it hasn’t worked for them for reasons I can’t quite fathom. Every department looks solid, but it all seems to just fall apart at times. Sometimes, players seem to be singing from different hymn sheets. Hope they can play with drive and accuracy this weekend.
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Backs as expected
bit tombola-ish in the pack
Brown swapped back in – he’d better sort his darts out but Rambo to provide some bench impact.
Toolis ejected from the squad despite doing little wrong last week. Gilchrist needs a bit game. Good to see Skinner back, hope it’s not too soon.
Return for Haining after being unceremoniously sent back to embra. Fine with this but don’t know why he wasn’t at least on the bench two weeks ago. Bradbury hasn’t massively whelmed so a toe-poke up the hole might help
Wee duncy nearly fully rehabilitated now. He can close a game out but still have worries, not to mention flashbacks of him lobbing an intercept to Huget on the French line to turn an almost certain try for Scotland into one for France. He’d better not do that again.
Happy for Steyn to be given a chance & he covers wing & centre – great club player that McGuigan is I’m not convinced he’s made the step up to international level.
Still gutted Graham isn’t going to be back.
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A worryingly strong looking France squad. Down with this sort of thing.
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“Finisseurs”
Even in French, it sounds lame.
So many words sound better in French, but not that nonsense.
Replacements, if you please. Reserves or Substitutes, if you must. Even Bench at a push…
Just not that!
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Utna, I agree about Scott.
There were issues around his defence five years ago or more, not now. I don’t think Sam Johnson has done much wrong, but for me Scott is the better player. I think Scott might have been collateral damage from the Finngate affair, having Johnson play inside the relatively inexperienced Hastings makes sense as they play together for Glasgow.
Haining deserves his place, he is the big heavy traffic ball carrier, plus he has a good ability to get the ball away from the tackle area.
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‘Centres are decent, but no idea why Scott isn’t the 1st name on the teamsheet (unless injured) – pure class.’
Neither have I Utna old bean.
Johnson has the edge defensively & is a decent footballer with a good pass & good in the tighter spaces. Scott is better on attack in general & can be devastating with a bit of space. Can be prone to the occasional duff pass & concussion which may be the main reasons by his omission.
Scott may be on the lookout for a new club at season end which I find staggering. Someone could pick up a very good player.
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Chimpie, I head another rumour that Scott with be retained and his re-signing will be announced in the run up to the 1872 Cup game.
I hope so.
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@ticht
Good. I would not be averse to a replacement for Hickey.
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@Ticht,
I agree. Johnson is a good player, and Harris has impressed. Jones has been up and down, but no doubting his quality. So, Scotland well served in midfield. Scott is a cut above, though and would have him as the lynchpin whoever else plays
Quite an exciting time for Scotland. Maturing front row, Cummings looks the business, flankers top notch and options in the halves (assuming they sort out the Finn mess) and centres. Plus Hogg, of course to add class from the back.
I do feel that they need to get a sequence of wins, and build confidence and cohesion to go to the next level and challenge the best teams. Not sure it will happen vs France this weekend, but think Scotland may click fairly soon
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Ok, now onto Wales. Was hesitant to post on this, but lets do it now before the tonking from England, rather than a reaction to it (and, if Wales win, I will look stupid but happy)
I don’t like this new Wales regime. I know its early days, and development, work in progress….
I also know that, even if Gats and Edwards stayed, there would be a drop, with key players ageing, a raft of injuries to other key players and the regions being more or less the worst they have ever been as a collective (I know Scarlets aren’t that bad, and Ryan is doing a great job at making the Drags competitive rather than abject, but as a foursome, the median is at the lowest ebb)
But, watching a squad who won the 6N, and made the WC semi, the performances are abject. I have no idea what they are doing on defence (certainly not tackling or pressuring the playmakers) and the brave new world of attacking rugby seems to consist of HalfP running it back into traffic now and again, and AWJ lurking in wide channels looking to offload to players who aren’t in close support. The weaknesses of the Gats era are still there (protection and production of attacking ball, lineout, lack of depth) are still there, but the strengths (defence, maul, set plays) are not. The greatest strength – belief, confidence , and tenacity are nowhere to be found.
Almost as if Gats new Wales had limits, and he and Edwards worked to produce a gameplan to play to their strengths and hide their weaknesses rather than him being obsessed with “Warrenball”.
Of course, Gats worked miracles given that the foundations in Wales are shaky at best. His greatest achievement was in continually picking rough diamonds from the regional mud and polishing them into accomplished and confident intl players. He didn;t always get it right but his results speak for themselves .
Not going to rag too much on Pivac – he did a good job at Llanelli, albeit under fortuitous circumstances, and even with their Pro14 achievements they barely made a dent in Europe.
However, I now see a Wales team with little quality, and what there is is getting on a bit or injured, weird selections, an atrocious kicking game, a poor set piece and a high school 2nd XV defence. Beyond a few individuals doing something special, I don;t see what the plan is.
Would expect England to give Wales a good seeing to, and Scotland to pick up a win in Cardiff for the 1st time in a while. 1 from 5 is not a good 6N, even in development. And a tour of NZ to come…
and stop picking average late 20s kiwi journeymen. Just ‘cos they come from NZ, doesn’t automatically mean they are any good.
Not pleased, and not optimistic for the coming years. Reminds me of the mid-00s
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