As usual, the Celts took the up-front hit: Ireland v Wales was cancelled postponed, followed by Treviso v Ulster and Zebre v Ospreys. Then came the news that Mako Vunipola was self-isolating from the England camp, although apparently it’s okay to infect the Saracens camp. (They’re relegated anyway: who cares?) Today’s shocking news is that Italy v England is also sacrificed to Covid-19.
But fear not, rugby fans! There is one person on our side, one person who knows that it’s all a big hoax. A person whose intimate involvement with Scottish golf courses has led to a love of rugby, inspired by Gavin Hastings.
“I think the 3.4% [death rate] is really a false number.
“Now, this is just my hunch, based on a lot of conversations with a lot of people that do this, because a lot of people will have this, and it’s very mild – they’ll get better very rapidly, they don’t even see a doctor, they don’t even call a doctor.
“You never hear about those people, so you can’t put them down in the category of the overall population, in terms of this corona flu, and/or virus. So you just can’t do that. So there is no reason for Six Nations matches to be deep-sixed. DBWR are just a bunch of wimps.”
This is of course very comforting, as everyone knows that Donald Trump’s hunches are enormously more accurate than the wild speculations of the World Health Organisation. While it’s true that a vast number of Americans won’t even call a doctor because they can’t afford to, deathly ill or not, the POTUS’s clarion call to laugh and snap our fingers at what the so-called experts are openly referring to as a pandemic will save our Six Nations and Pro-Woo.
The President is being undermined by snivelling lefties who are rejoicing at the thought of millions of people dying, economic Armageddon being unleashed, and – more importantly – rugby matches being cancelled, just to criticise The Donald. As the Guardian (itself a very dubious source) reports:
Peter Hegseth, a co-host of Fox & Friends Weekends, admonished Democrats’ criticism, saying: “They’re rooting for the coronavirus to spread. They’re rooting for it to grow. They’re rooting for the problem to get worse.”
“They’re probably jumping for joy,” Fox & Friends co-host Ainsley Earhardt said about the Democrats’ reaction to Six Nations matches being cancelled.
OvallyBalls can also reveal that Donald Trump is behind Vunipola’s decision to train with the Saracens:
“If we have thousands or hundreds of thousands of people that get better, just by, you know, sitting around and even going to work, some of them go to work, but they get better, and then when you do have a death, like you’ve had in the state of Washington, like you had one in California, I believe you had one in New York.”
While it turns out that no-one has yet died from coronavirus in New York (it’s only Trump’s home state, so why should he know?), the President’s message is clear: Get to work, you slackers, and you will be healed. Front up to the scrummage. Un-cancel the rugby matches. Work makes you free of coronavirus. Unless you’re dead.
Televisual rugby feasts not cancelled as yet:
Friday 6th March
| Sunwolves 14 – 47 Brumbies | 03:45 | Sky Sports Mix |
| Crusaders 24 – 20 Reds | 06:05 | Sky Sports Action |
| Waratahs 14 – 51 Chiefs | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| Dragons 25 – 37 Treviso (really?) | 19:35 | Premier Sports 1 |
| England 22 – 23 Wales U20s | 19:45 | BT Sport Action |
| Worcester 10 – 16 Saints | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
Saturday 7th March
| Hurricanes 15 – 24 Blues | 06:0t | Sky Sports Action |
| Rebels 37 – 17 Lions | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| England 66 – 7 Wales (women) | 12:05 | S4C / Sky Sports Action |
| Sharks v Los Jaguares | 13:05 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Bulls v Highlanders | 15:15 | Sky Sports Arena |
| England v Wales | 16:45 | ITV / S4C |
| Scotland v France (women) | 19:45 | BBC Alba / website/ button |
Sunday 8th March
| Bristol v Harlequins | 13:00 | BT Sport 1 |
| Scotland v France | 15:00 | BBC One / website / button |
Ovally Balls 
2 tries in 4 minutes? Stranger things have happened
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Just papering over the cracks in the window, chimpie.
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Enough time for you to get two or three sent off to facilitate it.
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Has Ollivon scored in every match? On quite a run for a forward.
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Ach, Kinghorn with a delicate blooter over the db line
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A win. Thank feck.
Winning is nice
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Nice one, Scots fans.
France? They kept going but basic stuff let them down.
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Nicer than losing
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Well done Scotland.
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Well, thank you very much, Scotland: we are still in this, if we ever get to play the Italy fixture!
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Great win Scotland! Hell, that was a satisfying win, even if not the best quality. Sometimes though, it doesn’t matter. The win and the commitment and belief is all that counts. Well done. For France? Not there today and the red card was always gonna make it really difficult. Still think they’re building a very good side though.
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Well played Scotland.
Disappointed by the result of course, that was nevertheless quite entertaining.
Don’t think France would’ve won even with 15 players, Scotland defended really well and were lethal in counter attack.
At the beginning of the 6N, I thought France would finish 3rd and I was quite surprised to see Galthié’s boys with three wins out of three. They’re not used to being favourite ( that’s what the French press said they were) and they had an unusually very nervy start. That and Scotland’s ferocity at the breakdown made the difference.
Allez les Ecossais!
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Cheers Flair, I thought we controlled the game quite well, Townsend was self-aware enough to change when he saw his Plan A wasn’t working at the world cup.
This generation of French players is very strong, and will get stronger as that terrific group from the U20s come through
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Unfortunately, beyond the fact that France were second best today, they also lost 4 or 5 players to injury. Chat (teared muscle), Ntamack (concussion), Dupont ( elbow), Penaud ( ankle?) and the twat in chief Haouas (RC).
Haouas won’t be missed but the other 4 would’ve been useful vs Ireland.
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Championship wide open! Pleased for Scottish fans on here to get a really decent performance and some tries to cheer.
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Ticht, Scotland fully deserve their win. It’s not easy to play vs 14 players, often galvanised by the adversity. Richie was a monster.
I thought the ref was a bit too laissez-faire at the breakdown but then I would say that. Tacklers were allowed to hold onto the tacklee for too long, preventing fast ball. Anyway, France made too many handling errors, most of them provoked by the excellent Scottish defence.
Just heard Dupont’s done his shoulder. Damn.
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Its Ireland’s to lose surely. They are the only ones with it fully in their hands
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Do they play in Dublin next week (or some other time, the way things are going)
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The Irish bonus point win in Paris seems unlikely so England by (probably) bonus points over France or points difference over Ireland must be favourites.
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CMW – a bonus-point win (if any at all) in Paris does seem unlikely, but we have a home match against Italy in hand.
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@Thaum – yes, you need to win in Paris and if that’s with no bonus point then beat Italy by more than England do. I don’t expect you to do either.
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I imagine England will get to play Italy knowing what they need to do if it does come down to the points difference scenario.
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Yes, but we play Italy at home and England play them away. Should make some difference (she says hopefully)?
As you say, it all depends on us winning next week, which is fairly unlikely.
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We have sometimes stuttered in italy, albeit we always win.
Away from home a BP isn’t guaranteed. Likely, granted but Ireland have the better chance I think.
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And if its points difference forget it, we’ve cocked that up so many times, usually to irelands advantage.
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If ireland win it’ll be a BP.
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“Away from home a BP isn’t guaranteed.”
Nice try.
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England have won as many Championships as anyone else on points difference.
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The tendency to shit in the pot when they don’t get a slam with it masks this sort of thing.
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Maybe something in that. I guess I’m thinking of all those Lancaster years when we just couldn’t manage it.
I for one dont belittle a championship when it’s not a slam.
Unless we lost to wales.
Obviously…
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Apparently Marler’s offence against AWJ can carry a ban of up to four years.
I imagine he’d have had to do something rather more extreme for that, though.
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We’ve nearly lost to italy at least once in Rome.
One faz’s first handful of games I think.
There was that other time we forgot the rules and looked silly so had them changed.
Also, last game we played after a postponement due to disease outbreak?
Writing is on the wall.
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Weather in Heidelberg for the weekend is looking nice: plenty of sunny periods (except on Saturday, and who cares because we’ll be watching rugby) and highs of 11-14.
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All hail Dova, monger of gloom. Let us hope his prognostications are bang on the nose.
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Thaum, a lifetime wouldn’t be enough.
I’m not prudish but think of the implications of seeing that as ‘banter’.
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Nah, we should get 5 v Italy. Think france are done though so fancy Ireland will beat them and trounce italy by more than we do
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” highs of 11-14″
Well that certainly won’t get you a bonus point.
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Dov, you weren’t too close to losing this one in Rome but it was memorable for other reasons:
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Dova – as a woman, it’s sort of hard to understand the incident, especially as a lot of blokes seem to find it amusing (yeah, bantz). Certainly anyone doing something similar to a woman would be accused (rightly) of sexual assault, or indeed, say, a male teacher to a male pupil. Which brings it into the power game realm, which is, I suppose, exactly what it was. Except AWJ is no helpless pupil, which just makes it extraordinarily stupid.
I’d supposed this was the sort of thing that happened all the time in the non-professional era, along with biting, gouging and so on, but perhaps not. (I’ve never been a bloke in a scrum/ruck. In my primary school playing days, I might possibly have done something similar to win, had I known about the danglies.) Gareth Thomas even prefaces his remark with “It would never have happened in my day”.
It’s notable that we’ve seen two red cards for punches in this 6N, and I haven’t seen a proper punch thrown for years until now. What is going on?
As for your 19:50, well – I think France at home will regain their composure, and Ireland have not exactly set the world on fire this year. If we win, I’ll be delighted, and think we may possibly get more points against Italy, but the win is a less than 50% chance imo.
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TomP – that sounds like a much politer version of me watching a match where I think possession is being kicked away too much. But then I’m not a ‘professional’ commentator!
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CMW
*tsk*
Obviously, that’s 11-14 *tries*.
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I guess the Marler thing is to provoke an opponent into an understandable reaction that will get them sent off and will rightly be punished on that basis as well as being something that people don’t want to be going on in the first place.
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@TomP – I guess the 2013 Italy game at home is one when they did sort of blow the Championship from a points difference perspective. Unfortunately I can’t find the Flood/Goode non try on Youtube…
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Clyde – from the G’s article on the incident, AWJ’s reaction:
So yes, it seems his thought is that Marler was trying to provoke a punch or summat.
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Something someone said has set off this earworm:
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Oh, I know, it was love your neighbour till … his wife gets home
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Great photo of the punch in the Scotland-France game:
https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2020/mar/08/scotland-france-six-nations-match-report
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And this is for Ticht, who heretically expressed his dislike of Bowie’s Berlin albums:
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True, it can in no way be classed as country … one of the main things I like about it.
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Still cant get my head around how it can possibly be any different to any if the other variants one can think of.
AWJ seemed to be not be traumatised, though am sure that’s been seen as mitigation before.
Likely all are fine in this instance but none of us know either and there might be elements of their own private selves only they themselves know.
It’s simply not acceptable in any way.
He didn’t lose his temper and try to hurt him. He tried to degrade somebody…… perhaps. Or maybe something else.
Not on. At all.
Alfie cracked a decent joke about it but I think it would have been different had he been either party had he come out whilst still playing. My point is it shouldn’t be.
Maybe going on about it too much.
Call me a snowflake
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