As usual, the Celts took the up-front hit: Ireland v Wales was cancelled postponed, followed by Treviso v Ulster and Zebre v Ospreys. Then came the news that Mako Vunipola was self-isolating from the England camp, although apparently it’s okay to infect the Saracens camp. (They’re relegated anyway: who cares?) Today’s shocking news is that Italy v England is also sacrificed to Covid-19.
But fear not, rugby fans! There is one person on our side, one person who knows that it’s all a big hoax. A person whose intimate involvement with Scottish golf courses has led to a love of rugby, inspired by Gavin Hastings.
“I think the 3.4% [death rate] is really a false number.
“Now, this is just my hunch, based on a lot of conversations with a lot of people that do this, because a lot of people will have this, and it’s very mild – they’ll get better very rapidly, they don’t even see a doctor, they don’t even call a doctor.
“You never hear about those people, so you can’t put them down in the category of the overall population, in terms of this corona flu, and/or virus. So you just can’t do that. So there is no reason for Six Nations matches to be deep-sixed. DBWR are just a bunch of wimps.”
This is of course very comforting, as everyone knows that Donald Trump’s hunches are enormously more accurate than the wild speculations of the World Health Organisation. While it’s true that a vast number of Americans won’t even call a doctor because they can’t afford to, deathly ill or not, the POTUS’s clarion call to laugh and snap our fingers at what the so-called experts are openly referring to as a pandemic will save our Six Nations and Pro-Woo.
The President is being undermined by snivelling lefties who are rejoicing at the thought of millions of people dying, economic Armageddon being unleashed, and – more importantly – rugby matches being cancelled, just to criticise The Donald. As the Guardian (itself a very dubious source) reports:
Peter Hegseth, a co-host of Fox & Friends Weekends, admonished Democrats’ criticism, saying: “They’re rooting for the coronavirus to spread. They’re rooting for it to grow. They’re rooting for the problem to get worse.”
“They’re probably jumping for joy,” Fox & Friends co-host Ainsley Earhardt said about the Democrats’ reaction to Six Nations matches being cancelled.
OvallyBalls can also reveal that Donald Trump is behind Vunipola’s decision to train with the Saracens:
“If we have thousands or hundreds of thousands of people that get better, just by, you know, sitting around and even going to work, some of them go to work, but they get better, and then when you do have a death, like you’ve had in the state of Washington, like you had one in California, I believe you had one in New York.”
While it turns out that no-one has yet died from coronavirus in New York (it’s only Trump’s home state, so why should he know?), the President’s message is clear: Get to work, you slackers, and you will be healed. Front up to the scrummage. Un-cancel the rugby matches. Work makes you free of coronavirus. Unless you’re dead.
Televisual rugby feasts not cancelled as yet:
Friday 6th March
| Sunwolves 14 – 47 Brumbies | 03:45 | Sky Sports Mix |
| Crusaders 24 – 20 Reds | 06:05 | Sky Sports Action |
| Waratahs 14 – 51 Chiefs | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| Dragons 25 – 37 Treviso (really?) | 19:35 | Premier Sports 1 |
| England 22 – 23 Wales U20s | 19:45 | BT Sport Action |
| Worcester 10 – 16 Saints | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
Saturday 7th March
| Hurricanes 15 – 24 Blues | 06:0t | Sky Sports Action |
| Rebels 37 – 17 Lions | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| England 66 – 7 Wales (women) | 12:05 | S4C / Sky Sports Action |
| Sharks v Los Jaguares | 13:05 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Bulls v Highlanders | 15:15 | Sky Sports Arena |
| England v Wales | 16:45 | ITV / S4C |
| Scotland v France (women) | 19:45 | BBC Alba / website/ button |
Sunday 8th March
| Bristol v Harlequins | 13:00 | BT Sport 1 |
| Scotland v France | 15:00 | BBC One / website / button |
Ovally Balls 
Also, both my kids saw it and saw a load of blokes laughing and excusing it.
I’m missing something if I’m the only one this outraged.
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Speaking of main things…
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I don’t think I said disliked those albums, Thaum, I remember saying that there is a melancholy to some of his work that I can’t handle.
I don’t deny his genius, I just don’t listen to him very often. Having said that the German version of Heroes is one of my favourite songs
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Dova – you should speak up about it. No-one talked about women getting abused for fucking centuries.
Ticht – check out this Italian version of Space Odyssey (which has a completely different story):
I am a bit of a 60s/70s Bowie geek.
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Lots of hand wringing about the ball grabbing. Who cares about the “behind the scene” ? Marler did what he thought he had to do. Nobody forced him to do it. Whether we think it was imbecile and childish or deliberate to provoke a punchup, who cares about intention?
Law is rather simple. 12 weeks ban entry point. Apply the law and get done with it.
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I see you are chatting about much nicer things.
On which note, wasn’t it great to see doddie in the crowd celebrating that Scotland try. I know the end game is probably inevitable but what fighter and character.
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And, Ticht – yes, you’re right of course about what you said.
As someone who suffered from depression in my teen years, those albums were just what the doctor ordered to know that I wasn’t alone.
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Dova – yes, he is just a character who brings a smile to your face.
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Thaum. I did and do. You misunderstand if you think I’m protecting a man. I’m pointing out the whole ‘it’s just a joke and I thought they could take it’ excuse and then expecting it to be laughed off is a pretty toxic shit and the whole long running problem.
Fellas need to grow up.
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Not the whole. A part of.
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Ticht – Always Crashing in the Same Car also had some resonance as I had a couple of crashes in the same car, quite literally – one of them due to new-driver inexperience in the winter, and the second absolutely not my fault but centimetres short of lethal.
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Dova – no, I understand where you’re coming from perfectly, and think you’re right.
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My teen years:
I’ve got it. I’m gonna play Berlin Bowie whenever some utter cad plays country music.
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I think I’ve just had a moment of insight. People who like country music grew up in happy families, and can’t understand why everything turns to shit.
People who hate country music grew up in unhappy families, and always knew everything was shit.
As Tolstoy said, All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.
And with that deep, profound, and not-at-all-alcohol-fuelled insight, I leave you for the evening. NN!
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Now that Thaum’s gone to bed, maybe tomorrow we should tell her about the background of some (all?) of country music’s big stars. Happy families they were not (mostly).
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Also prefer Hunky Dory and Ziggy Bowie…..
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I think we can all agree Thaum’s barking up the wrong tree.
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Been wondering whether to post this all day so… Here goes.
I was thinking about the Joe Marler Awj incident earlier and wondered what it would be like to have that happen when you were technically at work and in front of everyone when I realised that it was similar to something that happened to me a few years back.
I was at a work drinks chatting to a female colleague and a manager 2 grades above me (which in is quite a big deal in that firm). At some point he very quickly grabbed me (he was standing beside me) whilst I was mid way through saying something, winked and then walked off.
I kind of coughed and pretended it hadn’t happened and my colleague just went red and ignored it too. The guy was trying to embarrass/degrade me in front of her and simultaneously trying to imply that I was chatting her up.
I said nothing and nothing happened, and tbh I don’t really hold too much of a grudge against him. He’s just a bit of a wanker and thought it was a hilarious joke.
But, it wasn’t. And it’s not like I had access to TV footage to replay the incident to HR. The easiest thing was to laugh it off; which I ended up doing. And then forgot about it until today.
I don’t mind the niggle in terms of holding players in rucks etc. That’s just cheating and the referee should penalise it. This is a different level of psychological fuckery which shouldn’t be in the game.
I hope Marler gets a ban and this is treated in the same way as his ‘gipsy boy’ comment.
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Anyway, I just watched the first half and thought we were spot on.
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That said, we gave away a few high tackle penalties. We need to sort that out tbh.
And if manu got a red, so should have Hadley Parkes. I think someone else mentioned that too but it was a similar collision.
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Morning all! A great weekend of 6N rugby (postponed match notwithstanding), full of controversy, talking points and dare I say it – some fine rugby too!
A good weekend for the Saffer Super Sides too (barring the Lions, who look very capable of wresting the wooden spoon from the clutches of the Sunwolves or Tahs). The Sharks have really hit their straps, with 3 from 4 on tour and straight back to Durban and a thumping win over the Jaguares, who aren’t firing on all cylinders this season, to be honest. Sikhumbuzo Notshe, who I didn’t really rate at the Stormers, has found a new lease on life playing number 8 for the Sharks and is looking a good bet for the Lions tour next year on this form as back-up to Duane Vermeulen. Playing a great linking game (so very different to Vermeulen) and may be just the tonic for a last 20 minute dazzle when things start to open up.
The back three of Mapimpi, S’bu Nkosi and Aphelele Fassi (FB) may get the nod in tandem as well, although you could never discard Kolbe. Fassi is still a bit dodgy under the high ball, but Willie le Roux isn’t exactly rock solid either and Fassi has a far better attacking game. Huge match in Durban this weekend, when the rested Stormers come to town to play a side that is in need of a break after their tour.
Bulls won too.
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Only the Highlanders, though, Deebee. Notshe’s playing well but Coetzee’d be a better bet at international level.
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Deebs – what happened to the guy who was banned for substance abuse? Did he ever appeal?
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never rub another man’s rhubarb [1]. Especially in public. Marler should have borne this eternal truism in mind.
[1] Unless in some kind of consensual situation
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He hasn’t been banned yet as far as I know, Craig’s. He appealed the charge so they need a formal hearing. The result was meant to be early 2020 so nothing yet.
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Here’s my hot take on the Marler incident:
Marler was out of order and will cop a ban. I reckon 6 months. However, the pearl clutching going on over this is ridiculous. AWJ acting in the press conference like he’s never tried to wind up an opponent was deeply hypocritical. People around me in Wales outraged by it all are the same ones who were gloating over AWJ laughing in Sink’s face last year.
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Thought Xerxes had already tried this to invade Greece?
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@dab
AWJ spent half the match trying to wind up Itoje and failed miserably.
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Ban AWJ too. Preferably before next weekend
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No, Ticht. Avoid at all costs…. Times and Examiner are good enough – Indo is 90% click bait…..
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Tomp – it seemed like one of those borderline/accidental cases so I hope he’s OK.
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Especially at work Chimpie.
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Also, just whilst I’m looking at the game, some of those line out through were beyond squiffy.
Especially the one that led to the break and Wales camping in our 22 for the last quarter.
Bah humbug I say.
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Here’s my hot take on Marler:
Marler naughty. Rugby gaol. Yes.
But over there we have a squirrel. Look at the squirrel. What disease is HE carrying? I tell you something, whatever ‘crimes’ Naughty Joe has done are nothing compared to the way that squirrel is plotting something very bad. He’s done it before and will do it again. I heard that last year he stole the last of Kyle Sinckler’s nuts (no, not those ones).
In summary: Marler bad, other stuff that is a false equivalence is worth me typing more words, much much worse.
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It’s not “over there” or “a squirrel” though, is it Yos? It’s directly connected.
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Marler should’ve laughed in AWJ’s face. I imagine most people wouldn’t have a problem with that.
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I wonder what Houas would’ve done to Marler had he received his treatment of AWJ?
A Zidane headbutt? A knee in the groin? A Vahaa’s elbow? So many possibilities, so few answers.
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Craigs, I don’t know anything beyond what I’ve read about Diyanti’s case so can’t say if it was an accident or not.
That BBC article from last week seemed to me to be drawing to cast doubt on the Boks RWC win by sayng doping was rife in SA rugby.
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Waiting at the dentist, BTW. Hence my jovial mood.
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@dab the fact you use the term ‘pearl clutching’ in describing people criticising this is sexist and shows the kind of backward attitude the act embodied. The mental gymnastics I’ve seen a small minority of people using to justify this, along the lines of AWJ was mean to Sinckler last year is ridiculous. Sexual touching like this is all about asserting power in a qualitatively different way to holding someone in at a ruck or clearing them out later than you should.
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@thaum re Country Music, Malcolm Gladwell does a great podcast episode of Revisionist History about country music and how it’s great at dealing with issues head on, rather than through metaphor. It’s a great listen, especially if like me you’re not a country music fan (spoiler – I am one now).
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It is a squirrel over there because you are deflecting attention away from Marler being a cunt. That’s the issue, that’s the discussion point. Not what AWJ did last year, when he didn’t grab Sinckler’s cock.
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Yos……………….a bit extreme.
In rugby terms, big banning merited.
In terms of humanity, he needs help, as many recognise.
The pity is that he is working out his problems on a world stage.
As I said yesterday, I think that in his weird world, it was part of his international rugby ‘goodbye’.
There’s plenty of ‘shithousery’ in all teams, even Wales.
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Thaumatest: is that woman cleaning her teeth at the end of the Roxy video Martha Davis from The Motels?
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And?
Marler went beyond shithousery. Beyond. When people stop going ‘ah but everyone is naughty, even your team’ I might drop this. Until then I will keep pointing out that Marler is a twat that has gone too far and that we don’t need reminders that Jamie Ritchie or whoever is a pain in the arse.
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I don’t disagree – my point is that he needs help
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Rumour has it that next weekend’s games are all off till the end of October
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Nick Haining could be in trouble, in the lead up to the punch Haining reaches out and makes contact with Haouas‘ face around the eye area
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I’ve heard this Ticht, not seen the footage though.
A lot seems to be being made of it in some quarters in France.
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