As usual, the Celts took the up-front hit: Ireland v Wales was cancelled postponed, followed by Treviso v Ulster and Zebre v Ospreys. Then came the news that Mako Vunipola was self-isolating from the England camp, although apparently it’s okay to infect the Saracens camp. (They’re relegated anyway: who cares?) Today’s shocking news is that Italy v England is also sacrificed to Covid-19.
But fear not, rugby fans! There is one person on our side, one person who knows that it’s all a big hoax. A person whose intimate involvement with Scottish golf courses has led to a love of rugby, inspired by Gavin Hastings.
“I think the 3.4% [death rate] is really a false number.
“Now, this is just my hunch, based on a lot of conversations with a lot of people that do this, because a lot of people will have this, and it’s very mild – they’ll get better very rapidly, they don’t even see a doctor, they don’t even call a doctor.
“You never hear about those people, so you can’t put them down in the category of the overall population, in terms of this corona flu, and/or virus. So you just can’t do that. So there is no reason for Six Nations matches to be deep-sixed. DBWR are just a bunch of wimps.”
This is of course very comforting, as everyone knows that Donald Trump’s hunches are enormously more accurate than the wild speculations of the World Health Organisation. While it’s true that a vast number of Americans won’t even call a doctor because they can’t afford to, deathly ill or not, the POTUS’s clarion call to laugh and snap our fingers at what the so-called experts are openly referring to as a pandemic will save our Six Nations and Pro-Woo.
The President is being undermined by snivelling lefties who are rejoicing at the thought of millions of people dying, economic Armageddon being unleashed, and – more importantly – rugby matches being cancelled, just to criticise The Donald. As the Guardian (itself a very dubious source) reports:
Peter Hegseth, a co-host of Fox & Friends Weekends, admonished Democrats’ criticism, saying: “They’re rooting for the coronavirus to spread. They’re rooting for it to grow. They’re rooting for the problem to get worse.”
“They’re probably jumping for joy,” Fox & Friends co-host Ainsley Earhardt said about the Democrats’ reaction to Six Nations matches being cancelled.
OvallyBalls can also reveal that Donald Trump is behind Vunipola’s decision to train with the Saracens:
“If we have thousands or hundreds of thousands of people that get better, just by, you know, sitting around and even going to work, some of them go to work, but they get better, and then when you do have a death, like you’ve had in the state of Washington, like you had one in California, I believe you had one in New York.”
While it turns out that no-one has yet died from coronavirus in New York (it’s only Trump’s home state, so why should he know?), the President’s message is clear: Get to work, you slackers, and you will be healed. Front up to the scrummage. Un-cancel the rugby matches. Work makes you free of coronavirus. Unless you’re dead.
Televisual rugby feasts not cancelled as yet:
Friday 6th March
| Sunwolves 14 – 47 Brumbies | 03:45 | Sky Sports Mix |
| Crusaders 24 – 20 Reds | 06:05 | Sky Sports Action |
| Waratahs 14 – 51 Chiefs | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| Dragons 25 – 37 Treviso (really?) | 19:35 | Premier Sports 1 |
| England 22 – 23 Wales U20s | 19:45 | BT Sport Action |
| Worcester 10 – 16 Saints | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
Saturday 7th March
| Hurricanes 15 – 24 Blues | 06:0t | Sky Sports Action |
| Rebels 37 – 17 Lions | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| England 66 – 7 Wales (women) | 12:05 | S4C / Sky Sports Action |
| Sharks v Los Jaguares | 13:05 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Bulls v Highlanders | 15:15 | Sky Sports Arena |
| England v Wales | 16:45 | ITV / S4C |
| Scotland v France (women) | 19:45 | BBC Alba / website/ button |
Sunday 8th March
| Bristol v Harlequins | 13:00 | BT Sport 1 |
| Scotland v France | 15:00 | BBC One / website / button |
Ovally Balls 
https://www.change.org/p/cadburys-bring-back-frys-five-centres-chocolate-bar
LikeLike
Blaine ‘Journeyman American Winger’ has retired from all rugby.
His wife just had a baby and he is studying.
Hope everyone is well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Doesn’t look like Haining’s been cited then. Isn’t the deadline Tuesday?
LikeLike
‘There was a concrete patch and a field full of dog shit and needles.’
A field? dogshit? Luxury!
back in’t my day we played on shards of glass whilst being pelted with sulphuric acid
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah, the good old blaes pitches. Nowt like a bit of industrial by product for playing sport on.
One of these pitches in south Glasgow started turning yellow because of the underlying chrome VI waste.
LikeLike
@Criags, there is a guitar making company called Sant Cruz. Their guitars are equally desirable as their bike namesakes, and equally as expensive.
LikeLike
Criags?
Craigs, even
LikeLike
It’s only my brother’s name, it’s not like I should know how to spell it.
LikeLike
There’s also Cruz vodka. Much cheaper, so if you can’t afford the bike or guitar, you can drown your sorrows with it.
LikeLike
Chimpie, I think Haining should be cited, if only to clear his name.
If he’s not, I’m.afraid of the reactions , and not just in France.
“Gouging, this heinous crime, is OK when done by a Scottish player”.
The images ( posted by OT?) were rather damning and I have full confidence in the eventual judges’ verdict. But if he’s not cited at all, it won’t seem fair to me.
LikeLike
Forgot to add that the judges would have access to more and better footage than us.
LikeLike
One for you, OT:
https://mobile.twitter.com/Orwell_Fan/status/1237734814582738944
LikeLike
@flair,
https://www.theoffsideline.com/nick-gaining-citing-raphael-ibanez/
Already been passed to the commissioner by Ibanez. Nothing happened on it yet.
LikeLike
Flair, I thought it looked like a citing offence when I saw the still and the slo mo. When I saw again in real time a day later I was less sure.
Anyway, the French team referred the incident so it will be looked at, he will be called to account for it if they deem it necessary.
LikeLike
I sometimes go by Craig’s.
LikeLike
Damn autocorrect
LikeLike
Beaten to it by the Dalry Llama
LikeLike
I sometimes go by Criag’s.
LikeLike
Ticht – I’ve had to make do with some sunglasses.
LikeLike
Office isn’t far from Dalry, in reality.
LikeLike
Thanks, Chimpie. This is the footage I saw, thanks to OT, I think. Needless to say, I had not seen it during the game.
To me, it looks like fingers in the eyes, not the worse we’ve all seen, but still reckless. Considering the ref had no choice but give a RC to Haouas, I believe that if the ref had seen those on the big screen, he’d ‘ve also dished a RC to Haining.
I’m a bit surprised Haining does not get cited. Not citing him sends the wrong signal. But maybe the commissioner has better footage and does not want to waste people’s time. In that case, a bit of an explanation would be useful.
LikeLike
@tomp
Thanks for that. It’s nice to see some consistency in his treatment of Brian Cox.
LikeLike
Sad case that I am watched the whole sequence again.
Start: Houas tackles Haining whilst Scotland have a penalty advantage, one hand seems to go to the err. tackle area.
Whistle goes, Haining and Houas have a wee ‘chat’. Haining goes to push Houas, hand appears (IMO) to get deflected facewards. Contact made with eye area.
Ritchie & Johnson come steaming in when they see argy bargy & Haining surrounded by 3 Frenchman. Ritchie pushes a frenchman (Houas?) in the back.
Houas punches Ritchie, who also gets tackled from behind by Fickou.
LikeLike
Sooo…..
Post the ‘eye area contact’ incident, Ritchie steaming in & pushing would have been a penalty reversal for me. but then he gets lamped so that gets taken out of the equation, and being blindsided by Fickou would also have re-reversed the penalty, or even a yellow for both of them. All a mess really.
LikeLike
‘But maybe the commissioner has better footage and does not want to waste people’s time. In that case, a bit of an explanation would be useful.’
Yes, that would be sensible to indicate some form of due process has been followed.
LikeLike
Chimp, sorry I had you to rewatch the incident.
It does not matter really. I trust the officials and I never would’ve waded into the incident again if someone had not mentionned that the citing delay had expired(?). But as Ibanez lodged an official complaint, I expected a bit of an official response. If only to nip in the bud the controversy.
Actually these incidents ( so many in the England game) unfortunately hide the fact that we had two excellent games, with some wonderful tries. How I’ll miss the postponed games this weekend!
LikeLiked by 2 people
@flair
Thanks for reminding me of this. You are 100% correct.
LikeLike
Flair, for me Dupont’s kick for the Penaud try was the play of the weekend, to have the vision to see exactly what was in front of him and the presence of mind and skill to execute that kick under severe defensive pressure – that is top class rugby.
LikeLike
Mind you, the try that Tipuric finished was quite easy on the eye, now that I think of it
LikeLike
Watson’s too.
Oh, they were all winners…
LikeLike
The Welsh try at the beginning of the second half was something.
Very Blanco-esque to me.
Scotland second try too. The one that starts with a turnover under their posts at the beginning of the 2nd half as well.
LikeLike
Watson’s was brilliant. In such small space. Wow!
LikeLike
Though, it’s hard to beat the absolute genius of McInally throwing a lineout to the French jumper, knowing that the tap back would land in open grass with no defender because that winger was covering elsewhere due to the red card.
McInally only had to run it in, easy peasy lemon squeezy.
LikeLiked by 2 people
…you’ve been on those magic tatties again, haven’t you………………
LikeLike
Ticht, I was about to mention the McInally one but then I thought it was too cruel for Dupont who missed that bounce. Besides his excellent kick, he had a game to forget. Ach, he’ll have better days.
McInally’s smile just before he scored was priceless, almost not believing his luck.
LikeLike
Wow. I leave for an hour or two and a bout of camaraderie breaks out. Need to contain it. Haining’s a bastard of Farrell proportions and Farrell is Bojo’s sweetheart. AWJ is a wimp and the Irish are collectively sourpusses. France were always useless and deserved to lose.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Pardon my French but…
Va te faire foutre, Deebee.
LikeLiked by 2 people
utna’s got his own channel on youtube:
LikeLike
Some stuff in there that would still bear fruit – support lines and some lovely hands especially, also backs running on to the ball.
LikeLike
The 1993 Otago backline was dynamite:
9 Stu Forster,
10 Stephen Bachop,
12 John Leslie,
13 Marc Ellis
11 John Timu
14 Paul Cooke
15 Greg Cooper
LikeLike
@Flair – I would, but these are difficult times.
LikeLike
CMW, there is a very sweet but flatly animated version of Lion / Wardrobe from 1979, with Arthur Lowe voicing Mr. Beaver and June Whitfield Mrs. Beaver.
Beware the needlessly edited version though, which cuts out the best scene when the resurrected Aslan leaps and dances and flowers spring up in his footfalls. *sniffs*
LikeLike
Frys Five Boys as I recall was just a normal chocolate bar, but the wrapping had 5 mini drawings of the face of a lad going through the torrid experience of public school. One was smiling, as I recall.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wish I had more to add about the rugby, but most has been said already.
LikeLike
Hope this link works. One of the greatest matches of all time. Craig and Paddy from a few years above me at primary school were playing:
LikeLike
Haining cleared to play. They obviously saw something I didn’t. Or vice-versa.
Good on him.
LikeLike
He might be cleared to play, but Toonie probably won’t pick him now. Just ‘coz.
LikeLike
Headlines that make you groan: Ah dino ken: Stegosaurus footprints found on Isle of Skye
LikeLiked by 2 people
Sad news that young Rhun Williams, a Legend, has had to retire aged just 22. He was a star at Under 20s and had got into the Blues side.
LikeLike
The WHO have officially declared a pandemic.
Wales Scotland will be called off, I would have thought.
LikeLike