As usual, the Celts took the up-front hit: Ireland v Wales was cancelled postponed, followed by Treviso v Ulster and Zebre v Ospreys. Then came the news that Mako Vunipola was self-isolating from the England camp, although apparently it’s okay to infect the Saracens camp. (They’re relegated anyway: who cares?) Today’s shocking news is that Italy v England is also sacrificed to Covid-19.
But fear not, rugby fans! There is one person on our side, one person who knows that it’s all a big hoax. A person whose intimate involvement with Scottish golf courses has led to a love of rugby, inspired by Gavin Hastings.
“I think the 3.4% [death rate] is really a false number.
“Now, this is just my hunch, based on a lot of conversations with a lot of people that do this, because a lot of people will have this, and it’s very mild – they’ll get better very rapidly, they don’t even see a doctor, they don’t even call a doctor.
“You never hear about those people, so you can’t put them down in the category of the overall population, in terms of this corona flu, and/or virus. So you just can’t do that. So there is no reason for Six Nations matches to be deep-sixed. DBWR are just a bunch of wimps.”
This is of course very comforting, as everyone knows that Donald Trump’s hunches are enormously more accurate than the wild speculations of the World Health Organisation. While it’s true that a vast number of Americans won’t even call a doctor because they can’t afford to, deathly ill or not, the POTUS’s clarion call to laugh and snap our fingers at what the so-called experts are openly referring to as a pandemic will save our Six Nations and Pro-Woo.
The President is being undermined by snivelling lefties who are rejoicing at the thought of millions of people dying, economic Armageddon being unleashed, and – more importantly – rugby matches being cancelled, just to criticise The Donald. As the Guardian (itself a very dubious source) reports:
Peter Hegseth, a co-host of Fox & Friends Weekends, admonished Democrats’ criticism, saying: “They’re rooting for the coronavirus to spread. They’re rooting for it to grow. They’re rooting for the problem to get worse.”
“They’re probably jumping for joy,” Fox & Friends co-host Ainsley Earhardt said about the Democrats’ reaction to Six Nations matches being cancelled.
OvallyBalls can also reveal that Donald Trump is behind Vunipola’s decision to train with the Saracens:
“If we have thousands or hundreds of thousands of people that get better, just by, you know, sitting around and even going to work, some of them go to work, but they get better, and then when you do have a death, like you’ve had in the state of Washington, like you had one in California, I believe you had one in New York.”
While it turns out that no-one has yet died from coronavirus in New York (it’s only Trump’s home state, so why should he know?), the President’s message is clear: Get to work, you slackers, and you will be healed. Front up to the scrummage. Un-cancel the rugby matches. Work makes you free of coronavirus. Unless you’re dead.
Televisual rugby feasts not cancelled as yet:
Friday 6th March
| Sunwolves 14 – 47 Brumbies | 03:45 | Sky Sports Mix |
| Crusaders 24 – 20 Reds | 06:05 | Sky Sports Action |
| Waratahs 14 – 51 Chiefs | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| Dragons 25 – 37 Treviso (really?) | 19:35 | Premier Sports 1 |
| England 22 – 23 Wales U20s | 19:45 | BT Sport Action |
| Worcester 10 – 16 Saints | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
Saturday 7th March
| Hurricanes 15 – 24 Blues | 06:0t | Sky Sports Action |
| Rebels 37 – 17 Lions | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| England 66 – 7 Wales (women) | 12:05 | S4C / Sky Sports Action |
| Sharks v Los Jaguares | 13:05 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Bulls v Highlanders | 15:15 | Sky Sports Arena |
| England v Wales | 16:45 | ITV / S4C |
| Scotland v France (women) | 19:45 | BBC Alba / website/ button |
Sunday 8th March
| Bristol v Harlequins | 13:00 | BT Sport 1 |
| Scotland v France | 15:00 | BBC One / website / button |
Ovally Balls 
Danny Care used to keep count of the number of people who touched his genitals during games of rugby. Take your shoes and socks off, Danny, and you’ll be able to count to twenty.
Good to see Harelquins Danny Care coming to the aid of Harlequins Joe Marler.
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Oh FFS.
I haven’t got the energy.
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to handle someone’s tackle?
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More Yorkshire Lad news:
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9 quid seemed a lot for a kebab.
Went back to the story and saw that the BBC had added a little more to the story:
On the same page there’s a link to this story:
Basically, churnalism copying and pasting something from a vodka producer.
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Scotland
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
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Ah baws
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Can’t believe Townsend’s dropped Hogg for Function&&Function.prototype&&Function.prototype.bind&&(/(MSIE ([6789]|10|11))|Trident/.test(navigator.userAgent)||(window.__twttr&&window.__twttr.widgets&&window.__twttr.widgets.loaded&&window.twttr.widgets.load&&window.twttr.widgets.load(),window.__twttr&&window.__twttr.widgets&&window.
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McInally swapped for Brown
Skinner swapped for Cummings
Haining out completely (again), Bradbury to start & M-fags on the bench
Otherwise same-same
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https://mobile.twitter.com/Scotlandteam/status/1238068594044534785
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Weird
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I wonder if the timing of events meant that Haining was excluded due to uncertainty over him being available?
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top team posting fellas.
great stuff all round.
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Haining not available due to “illness”
They are saying you shouldn’t touch faces right enough
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There are good people out there
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All schools and colleges closed here until 29 March. Indoor gatherings > 100 and outdoor > 500 discouraged. Work from home if you can…..
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Is that Vic Goddard from Subway Sect Vic Goddard?
If not, this is still worth a listen:
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trisk,
Schools closed here yesterday, hockey league suspended, theatres and cinemas closed. My boy’s still in kindergarten and they’re remaining open for the moment. But I doubt that’ll last the weekend. Am going to have at least a couple of weeks of not earning I think. Or Skype lessons, which I’ve never done before. Some of my students have been told to work from home – no more than 3 people allowed in a department at a time.
Part of my missus’s deparment at work’s brief is connected to these kinds of emergencies. She said that there was a lot of arse-covering going on in yesterday’s very very long meeting about the matter. The Czech government’s possibly going to declare a state of emergency tomorrow.
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Three changes for Wales:
Wales – 15 Leigh Halfpenny, 14 George North, 13 Nick Tompkins, 12 Hadleigh Parkes, 11 Liam Williams, 10 Dan Biggar, 9 Rhys Webb, 8 Josh Navidi, 7 Justin Tipuric, 6 Ross Moriarty, 5 Alun Wyn Jones (c), 4 Cory Hill, 3 Will-Griff John, 2 Ken Owens, 1 Wyn Jones
Subs: 16 Ryan Elias, 17 Rhys Carre, 18 Leon Brown, 19 Will Rowlands, 20 Taulupe Faletau, 21 Gareth Davies, 22 Jarrod Evans, 23 Johnny McNicholl.
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Refit, you’re doing that wrong. I can see the team.
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Check out the name of the first pollster:
https://ssl2002.webhosting.comcast.net/epic-mra/contactus.htm
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Toni?
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Jesus, trisk, that’s fine. And needs a knowledge of late 80s, early 90s football that smacks of a sub to World Soccer.
Confession: I picked up a couple of copies. They scared the fuck out of me.
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Back in the day I used to consume the Rothmans Football Yearbook ….
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Second order effects
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Trisk, that was a level far too deep for me. Wisden was an early love – got my first when I was 9. Most school holidays my brother and I would stay with the grandparents in London. After my grandfather retired – 1983 – he’d take us around town, mostly places he liked but they were good. One day he took me to Foyles and said I could have anything I wanted. I came away with the Rothmans Rugby Union Yearbook and the Rothmans Rugby League Yearbook.
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Back in the day…..
less so now – I just about watched Liverpool vs Atletico last night as it was on when we (me and #2 son) came back from training – introducing the U12s (who’ve only played mini rugby to to the next stage up – #2 is currently U12)
U13 is where we get a big drop off – so by bringing them to a controlled (we hope) training session we can put away their fears and those of mom and (less so ) dad of 15-a-side rugby, the full pitch etc. Worked last year – in that about 16 came across of a group of around).
We had 10 last night – cold, wet and nasty (the weather that is) – with luck they’ll bring others who’ll come because their mates are….
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I really hope that they don’t delay my start date. If they do I’ll go and contract coronavirus as fast as I can to get it over with.
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trisk,
Yes, complained to someone yesterday that I can’t keep up with football because of the change in squads every year and I don’t know who Arsenal’s new reserve left back is etc etc
As I was talking, I remembered that on Tuesday ticht and I were having a running conversation about South African schools rugby.
If I’d mentioned that, well.
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That said – I was away at the weekend so missed our U14s comprehensively defeating our local rivals – unfortunately the opposition #9 sustained a concussion and was in bad way….
I heard last night it was his third in a year (2 – rugby, 1 – gaelic football). One of our U18s picked up 3 in a 12 month period – GP said no contact sport for a year.
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Hmm.
RE the weekend, think Wales will squeak it at home. Hope not but there we go.
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I don’t think its gonna go ahead.
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Optimistic as ever Dova
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GT:
‘While the coronavirus situation is changing quickly, it now looks likely that the game on Saturday will go ahead, with restrictions on large public gatherings possibly being introduced on Monday. Asked if he thought the fixture should take place, Townsend replied:
“We are at the behest of the policy-makers and so far things have been put in place that the game will go ahead. We’ve followed all procedures and protocols regarding contact and washing hands, and we saw at the weekend what a fantastic spectacle that was and how great the Six Nations is.
“And we hope that we get to play this weekend. We understand if that’s not the case and it’s for serious reasons.
“We’re two days away from the game. We played last weekend. I do understand that things move fast, but we’re two days away, so it would be a surprise if the game was called off this late.
“We’ve been getting updates pretty regularly on the situation. We played in Italy before the outbreak really set hold and games started getting called off there, and sporting events started getting called off. Since then it was the build-up to the France game, and what as an organisation we had to do to put on that game. I’m sure the same is happening in Wales just now. And we’re two days away from the game so we’ll wait and see if that changes in the next two days.”’
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Scotland has just banned gatherings of more than 500 people. It would seem odd to sanction 1000s of scotttish fans all getting together in Wales to then return to Scotland afterwards.
More than odd. It will be canned I’m afraid.
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So more restrictions likely next week.
If schools shut at any point that’ll be a nightmare.
Everyone panic bought enough bog roll?
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I’ve not prepared at all to be honest.
Like the majority of people I expect.
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Gatherings of >500 people is a bit vague. Does this include only events (e.g. sports etc.) or school, conferences etc.
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So. Ban on mass events (in Scotland) will be from Monday. Part of the reason is to reduce potential strains on emergency response.
Schools will stay open & will be a UK decision.
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Closing schools is when it becomes really crap, the kids will need supervision, so parents won’t be able to go to work
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I’m not sure what people think is going to happen that will facilitate the need for a six month supply of bog roll
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People who only have 1 months supply will pay a lot of money to people who have 6 months supply.
Much like OT’s entrepreneurial child from earlier
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Brexit’ll happen, ticht. Brexit.
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Or just go middle-eastern and use your left hand
Food I would have though would take a higher priority.
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Ah, it starts as of monday.
As you were then.
Scotland by 10
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I think some people have this idea that it will be like some places in China where you were physically prevented from leaving your building by police / army.
Point is, that wont happen here. I dont think its actually practical for me and my family to self isolate. There aren’t enough rooms in the house and anyway, the baby needs formula I’m off down the coop whatever so I’ll get the bog roll then.
Crazy times.
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India just banning everyone non-Indian.
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everyone going ban-happy at the moment.
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