As usual, the Celts took the up-front hit: Ireland v Wales was cancelled postponed, followed by Treviso v Ulster and Zebre v Ospreys. Then came the news that Mako Vunipola was self-isolating from the England camp, although apparently it’s okay to infect the Saracens camp. (They’re relegated anyway: who cares?) Today’s shocking news is that Italy v England is also sacrificed to Covid-19.
But fear not, rugby fans! There is one person on our side, one person who knows that it’s all a big hoax. A person whose intimate involvement with Scottish golf courses has led to a love of rugby, inspired by Gavin Hastings.
“I think the 3.4% [death rate] is really a false number.
“Now, this is just my hunch, based on a lot of conversations with a lot of people that do this, because a lot of people will have this, and it’s very mild – they’ll get better very rapidly, they don’t even see a doctor, they don’t even call a doctor.
“You never hear about those people, so you can’t put them down in the category of the overall population, in terms of this corona flu, and/or virus. So you just can’t do that. So there is no reason for Six Nations matches to be deep-sixed. DBWR are just a bunch of wimps.”
This is of course very comforting, as everyone knows that Donald Trump’s hunches are enormously more accurate than the wild speculations of the World Health Organisation. While it’s true that a vast number of Americans won’t even call a doctor because they can’t afford to, deathly ill or not, the POTUS’s clarion call to laugh and snap our fingers at what the so-called experts are openly referring to as a pandemic will save our Six Nations and Pro-Woo.
The President is being undermined by snivelling lefties who are rejoicing at the thought of millions of people dying, economic Armageddon being unleashed, and – more importantly – rugby matches being cancelled, just to criticise The Donald. As the Guardian (itself a very dubious source) reports:
Peter Hegseth, a co-host of Fox & Friends Weekends, admonished Democrats’ criticism, saying: “They’re rooting for the coronavirus to spread. They’re rooting for it to grow. They’re rooting for the problem to get worse.”
“They’re probably jumping for joy,” Fox & Friends co-host Ainsley Earhardt said about the Democrats’ reaction to Six Nations matches being cancelled.
OvallyBalls can also reveal that Donald Trump is behind Vunipola’s decision to train with the Saracens:
“If we have thousands or hundreds of thousands of people that get better, just by, you know, sitting around and even going to work, some of them go to work, but they get better, and then when you do have a death, like you’ve had in the state of Washington, like you had one in California, I believe you had one in New York.”
While it turns out that no-one has yet died from coronavirus in New York (it’s only Trump’s home state, so why should he know?), the President’s message is clear: Get to work, you slackers, and you will be healed. Front up to the scrummage. Un-cancel the rugby matches. Work makes you free of coronavirus. Unless you’re dead.
Televisual rugby feasts not cancelled as yet:
Friday 6th March
| Sunwolves 14 – 47 Brumbies | 03:45 | Sky Sports Mix |
| Crusaders 24 – 20 Reds | 06:05 | Sky Sports Action |
| Waratahs 14 – 51 Chiefs | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| Dragons 25 – 37 Treviso (really?) | 19:35 | Premier Sports 1 |
| England 22 – 23 Wales U20s | 19:45 | BT Sport Action |
| Worcester 10 – 16 Saints | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
Saturday 7th March
| Hurricanes 15 – 24 Blues | 06:0t | Sky Sports Action |
| Rebels 37 – 17 Lions | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| England 66 – 7 Wales (women) | 12:05 | S4C / Sky Sports Action |
| Sharks v Los Jaguares | 13:05 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Bulls v Highlanders | 15:15 | Sky Sports Arena |
| England v Wales | 16:45 | ITV / S4C |
| Scotland v France (women) | 19:45 | BBC Alba / website/ button |
Sunday 8th March
| Bristol v Harlequins | 13:00 | BT Sport 1 |
| Scotland v France | 15:00 | BBC One / website / button |
Ovally Balls 
Think I’ll ban Dova from pessimism.
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I’m not seeing why having more data about who is crossing borders really helps combat a global pandemic.
If I’m being too simplistic then flame me, but for example if the US allows a Brit from London to fly in, but bars a German from Saxony-Anhalt which has just one reported virus case until now how can that be protecting the American people?
Trump is full of shit and his measures – as driven by some even more racist advisors – are purely political in my opinion, and if he is right just this once then it is by accident, not by reason.
The Schengen agreement is an easy target and it plays into the hands of populists who make mileage about blaming the other, or more precisely the foreigner.
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Danny Care is a handsome brute and all rugby players turn gay when he pulls his shorts on.
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See the Pro Woo’s been suspended.
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Maybe we can all agree just this once that the roof should be open on Saturday.
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@iksy
Of the 200+ people on the flight from London they will know exactly how many have been to Italy in the recent past as they will have been through passport control. They will then be able to take appropriate action with the individuals concerned. Of the same number of people from Saxony-Anholt or any other Schengen airport they won’t know who has recently been to Italy. So would have to treat every single red passenger with utmost caution.
A few days ago Trump was being slagged off for doing enough on the coronavirus. He’s now being slagged off for taking appropriate action.
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Really weird atmosphere in my schools at the moment. This is the time that senior kids have to finish their folio/project/investigation work in order for it to be collated and sent off to the SQA, so obviously a lot of them are worried in case the schools close before these get finished. Also some practical exams (like in Home Economics, Computing, Music, etc) are due to take place before the Spring Break, which was due to start on April 3rd. The actual exams are due to start on April 27th. Some staff seem to think (hope?) that schools will close soon, which will see the worst of the crisis over before the exams start, which is probably wishful thinking.
Also, I’m not sure what I’ll do if/when the schools close. I’m not employed by education any more, so no idea where I’d have to go. Can’t really work from home (issue virtual books, maybe?)
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Our post office is banning post to and from Asia. Our airports are screening for C-19. Our land borders, accounting for over 80% of movement in and out the country, have fuck all of note in place.
Spare a thought for Mozambique – world’s largest project, total value of $130bn over ten years, is largely being done out of Milan. Hundreds of contractors and suppliers to and fro, not only Italian, but South African, Turkish, French and others. The country has little in the way of a public health system, so I just pray it doesn’t take hold there.
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It’s not what or how much you stockpile, it’s what you are prepared to do in order to steal it later on.
I’m gonna be stockpiling weapons for when the shit goes down*.
* and I need bogroll.
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Sod bog roll, I’m stockpiling fags.
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So Marler gets 10 weeks, Tuilagi 4 and Jones a slap on the wrist for implying the ref was biased.
In a way, I feel Jones was the worst offender.
And no, I haven’t finished shuffling my papers.
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What with only one match being played tomorrow, I’m struggling to think of what to possibly write about it.
So I think I’ll get a new post up after the event, possibly focussing on the meet-up in Heidelberg, should we all not die in the meantime. Maybe we can make it a group effort.
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And I do sympathise with Flair: that sounds like a fate worth than a Covid-19-instigated death.
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… Unless one of youse has a brilliant idea: email it quick, and I could get it up – so to speak – tomorrow morning before leaving.
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Heidelbergers – before I forget, have a great time, I’m jealous, and give Claw a hug from me. He’ll understand.
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Is Claw going to Heidelberg?
What’s the full lineup?
Please say a big hello to them all from me
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Morning all! We’re still at 16 confirmed cases here, all imports so far, which is good. I think. No idea what I’ll do if all rugby is cancelled this weekend. Weather is miserable so maybe watch the box set of The Hobbit. Or just cook and drink wine, which is a good option.
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And have a great gig in Heidelberg too! I’ll be driving close to Heidelberg tomorrow morning. Alas, it’s not the same one that hosts the Mighty Iks.
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Jordie Barrett smashes a 40-metre pen to win the game for the Canes in Hamilton. Canes went 36 phases at the end looking for a penalty, finally the Chiefs 8 gave it up with a late tackle. Good comeback win for the Wellingtonians.
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Enjoy Heidelberg. Would have loved to come but we were planning to visit Nottingham next week to see friends. That’s off now as I’m not sure I’d be allowed back in the Czech Republic,
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Flying back to US Monday after quick 2 week visit, will be interesting to see how things pan out.. Suspect the faux joviality and jokes about virus’ that were ubiquitous on flight over will be less in evidence. Wonder if Norwegian will still be showing Contagion and Planet of the Apes 2 in flight. Looks like Wales Scotland game will be the last rugby to watch for a while. Having to hire car at airport, as usual ride contacts are out of action, one travelling interstate to by big generator in case power goes out soon, and the other banned by his family from going near airports, several others seem unusually “busy”. Reports of shelves emptying , people staying home, and AR 15s being oiled.
Fans of world cinema facing self quarantine could do worse than investing in a proxy server and logging in to SBS On Demand, its got a superb selection of foreign language films and TV series. Scandi Noir Heaven, and a lot of middle eastern/Asian films too.
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Conspiracy theory update:-
Following up a tip from a friend of a friend who is a viral epidemiologist:-
http://en.hubei.gov.cn/news/newslist/201311/t20131118_479132.shtml
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Good tip on the movies, SBT.
If ever we needed the Cat here, now is it. He could give us a long list of obscure foreign films that have women showing their boobs. And there’s also a pandemic.
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Need to acquire an Aus postcode from a friend or relative, TomP, but other than that, something like dns proxy, set region codes to Aus for appropriate channel banding,( different group to UK channels so you can have both without having to swap settings continuously) then setting up account with email and logging in is easy, cos its free to air . Shed loads of obscure sports too.
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BEWBS… if I recall correctly (plus “stabbbery”)
(and no… I’m not sure I ever followed any of his recommendations – not consciously anyway
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This one was on there
Not sure about this
May not be enough bewbs for Kitty, but otherwise ticks boxes.
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Certainly plenty of stabbery, Trisk.
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Some good South African schools games this weekend. A few available for streaming on youtube. Affies from Pretoria -Diamandtveld from Kimberley looks interesting. Should be a home win but Affies have had some fragility these past few years. At the Graeme rugby day in the Eastern Cape the Grey HS – Brandwag,, Selborne – Kingswood and St Andrews – Framesby matches look the top tips.
But the big one is probably Paarl Boys High – Monnas. One of the best of the West Cape v one of the finest from the North. Early season but a standout.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXJyZdiJoxj-ZSxS19JzRuw/videos
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have a lovely time, heidelbuggers.
If circumstances were wildly different i may have been able to make it.
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Lock up your daughters (and sons) Heidelbergensians – OvallyBalls/AoD coming to town!
Have a good one. Wish I could be there in the rufty tufty bar near the station
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So ProWoo is deid for the season. Is this some global conspiracy to to stop Embra cemeting their rightful place at the top of the log?
Imagine Euro stuff will be knocked on the head too before long. English premiership too.
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@SBT
I think I’ve seen the Train to Busan movie at some point – although zombie plagues movies don’t tend to be a core interest of mine….
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This means Liverpool don’t win the Premier League.
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If the English Premiership is cancelled, does that mean that Saracens still get relegated?
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@tomp
That’s one hell of a conspiracy theory brewing there
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slap on the wrist for EJ
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‘Uncapped Wales prop WillGriff John is looking to ‘smack some boys about’ when he makes his debut against Scotland this weekend.’
Hmmm
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He’s a big lad, though 140kg might prove an awful lot to carry around in an international match.
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Scotland U18 v England U18 at Mansfield Park in Hawick has been called off.
I don’t suppose they were expecting more than will turn up in Cardiff tomorrow.
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Wales vs Scotland cancelled
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https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2020/mar/13/wales-v-scotland-six-nations-match-called-off-coronavirus-rugby-union
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Dammit. That was going to provide a break from DIY-ing tomorrow
Stupied virus.
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How dare issues of national health inconvenience my leisure time.
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Looks like it’ll have to be:
Penrith Panthers vs Sydney Roosters
8:35am Saturday 14th March
Live on Sky Sports Arena
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Eastern Suburbs Roosters
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Plus Salford v Wigan tonight
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Will have to hit the ‘flix instead
ZZ-Top documentary or the Irishman? Tricky choices…
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ZZ Top all the way.
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An, if you will, Topumentary?
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