As usual, the Celts took the up-front hit: Ireland v Wales was cancelled postponed, followed by Treviso v Ulster and Zebre v Ospreys. Then came the news that Mako Vunipola was self-isolating from the England camp, although apparently it’s okay to infect the Saracens camp. (They’re relegated anyway: who cares?) Today’s shocking news is that Italy v England is also sacrificed to Covid-19.
But fear not, rugby fans! There is one person on our side, one person who knows that it’s all a big hoax. A person whose intimate involvement with Scottish golf courses has led to a love of rugby, inspired by Gavin Hastings.
“I think the 3.4% [death rate] is really a false number.
“Now, this is just my hunch, based on a lot of conversations with a lot of people that do this, because a lot of people will have this, and it’s very mild – they’ll get better very rapidly, they don’t even see a doctor, they don’t even call a doctor.
“You never hear about those people, so you can’t put them down in the category of the overall population, in terms of this corona flu, and/or virus. So you just can’t do that. So there is no reason for Six Nations matches to be deep-sixed. DBWR are just a bunch of wimps.”
This is of course very comforting, as everyone knows that Donald Trump’s hunches are enormously more accurate than the wild speculations of the World Health Organisation. While it’s true that a vast number of Americans won’t even call a doctor because they can’t afford to, deathly ill or not, the POTUS’s clarion call to laugh and snap our fingers at what the so-called experts are openly referring to as a pandemic will save our Six Nations and Pro-Woo.
The President is being undermined by snivelling lefties who are rejoicing at the thought of millions of people dying, economic Armageddon being unleashed, and – more importantly – rugby matches being cancelled, just to criticise The Donald. As the Guardian (itself a very dubious source) reports:
Peter Hegseth, a co-host of Fox & Friends Weekends, admonished Democrats’ criticism, saying: “They’re rooting for the coronavirus to spread. They’re rooting for it to grow. They’re rooting for the problem to get worse.”
“They’re probably jumping for joy,” Fox & Friends co-host Ainsley Earhardt said about the Democrats’ reaction to Six Nations matches being cancelled.
OvallyBalls can also reveal that Donald Trump is behind Vunipola’s decision to train with the Saracens:
“If we have thousands or hundreds of thousands of people that get better, just by, you know, sitting around and even going to work, some of them go to work, but they get better, and then when you do have a death, like you’ve had in the state of Washington, like you had one in California, I believe you had one in New York.”
While it turns out that no-one has yet died from coronavirus in New York (it’s only Trump’s home state, so why should he know?), the President’s message is clear: Get to work, you slackers, and you will be healed. Front up to the scrummage. Un-cancel the rugby matches. Work makes you free of coronavirus. Unless you’re dead.
Televisual rugby feasts not cancelled as yet:
Friday 6th March
| Sunwolves 14 – 47 Brumbies | 03:45 | Sky Sports Mix |
| Crusaders 24 – 20 Reds | 06:05 | Sky Sports Action |
| Waratahs 14 – 51 Chiefs | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| Dragons 25 – 37 Treviso (really?) | 19:35 | Premier Sports 1 |
| England 22 – 23 Wales U20s | 19:45 | BT Sport Action |
| Worcester 10 – 16 Saints | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
Saturday 7th March
| Hurricanes 15 – 24 Blues | 06:0t | Sky Sports Action |
| Rebels 37 – 17 Lions | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| England 66 – 7 Wales (women) | 12:05 | S4C / Sky Sports Action |
| Sharks v Los Jaguares | 13:05 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Bulls v Highlanders | 15:15 | Sky Sports Arena |
| England v Wales | 16:45 | ITV / S4C |
| Scotland v France (women) | 19:45 | BBC Alba / website/ button |
Sunday 8th March
| Bristol v Harlequins | 13:00 | BT Sport 1 |
| Scotland v France | 15:00 | BBC One / website / button |
Ovally Balls 
Trisk – a phone with YouTube will sort them out.
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Ha. We’ve probably got weeks of work to do. Getting the kidz to actually do it may be an issue. Will likely have to resort to outright bribery.
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Chimpie – Bribe them with food. Do the work, food! Don’t do the work, starve.
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Could just end up with screaming, starving children going down that route.
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Save this one.
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Ach, I hear it all the time TomP.
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Might be an idea to start preparing a veg patch. The mister’s just rung me from the supermarket to say the shelves are bare.
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I hope everyone is managing ok…………………
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Went down to the co-op at lunchtime.
All gone: bog roll & dry pasta
Pretty much everything else still in stock.
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Mrs chimpie’s laudable refusal to indulge in panic buying & supermarket fights may mean finding alternatives to toilet roll.
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Time for some genius work.
(Handstands in the shower, as per one of my dad’s 3 jokes).
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James Hook goin’ well down at Cilfynydd RFC:
https://play.acast.com/s/thewelshrugbypodcast/87f97430-5857-47e4-a252-c8840e49fd29
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Meat and veg (yes, I know) in short supply too, apparently. However, enough has been found for a couple of meals!
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https://www.wowcher.co.uk/deal/london/14374659/36-pack-2-ply-toilet-rolls?usr_src=search
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“bog roll & dry pasta”
How many sides do you toast the bog roll on?
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Not a single piece of chicken, apparently! Steaks the only meat; some fish. No Cadbury’s of any description, no bog roll of course, no bottled water, hardly any potatoes.
The world’s gone mad.
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‘How many sides do you toast the bog roll on?’
Toasting bog roll? Ridiculous suggestion
you eat it raw, of course.
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No Coke Zero. But plenty of Diet Coke.
The mind boggles.
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Well if I just watched the beginning of the end of civilization over the last weekend then I must say I spent that most fateful of moments in the most splendid of company.
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A weekend with superlative hosts, MisterIks. Many thanks to both of you.
I see that Germany’s just announced closure of all non-essential shops, and the EU is proposing a travel ban except for transport of essential items. And Spaffer is in the middle of announcing that everyone who can work from home, should do so, plus various other restrictions.
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Not being glib, Thauma, just some really everlasting memories from this ‘home’ Meet weekend.
I think that’s my fourth blog meet, and of course I was upset when the numbers were decimated when it was hosted in my town.
I’ve learnt that the people who gravitated to AOD and then took the chance to come to meets, sometimes bringing partners or friends with them, have been some of the best people I have met in this long life of mine.
When the next meet takes place I hope that many of us can get together. It really is worth the effort.
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Agreed, Iks, the people I’ve met from AoD and t’other blog are the kind of people you know could rely on in an emergency.
And now, the government’s basic advice is not to be in any kind of contact with other people, unless completely necessary, for the foreseeable future, ie many weeks at least, and perhaps months. Not to go to pubs, clubs, restaurants, etc. I really feel for the owners of these establishments, like our friend at the Bar Centrale.
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Yes Thauma, we saw the consequences for people running small businesses first hand Saturday night.
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Glad the blog meet went as well as could be expected in some trying times, well done for getting together!
I’m playing Rugby 20 on the PS4 to fill the rugby shaped hold in my life, it is without a doubt one of the cheapest looking games out there but the only way I’ll see Wales beat NZ in my lifetime…
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From the Politics Live blog:
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I suppose that means all the insurance companies would then go bust. But they are arseholes.
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Just to say, were circumstances conducive at all (I get to go to a pub with my one real life friend about 3 times a year), I’d bloody love to meet everyone here.
Glad you had a great time.
Bojo says my family needs to go into lock down (mrs running a temperature of 39 and works in a hospital).
We have plenty of nappies and baby milk so the plan is to feed the baby and survive on scraps ourselves. I’ll eat the dog if necessary.
I suppose the tins in the back of the cupboard we moved here with should get eaten at some point.
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@dova
I’d hate to disappoint you, Dova.
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Think next year’s meet (if anybody’s left at that point) should be in Scotland.
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You especially OT.
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“I’ll eat the dog if necessary”
Oh no you won’t.
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Dova, you and your family take care now. Hope MrsDova is ok.
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Were none of the AODers tempted to come back and participate in the Ovallyballs incarnation of the blog?
The more the merrier.
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Iks, no, I won’t.
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Too few willing to do cricket chat in the off season. Boa would be most welcome in that regard.
Might still be sheepish having pronounced a player as having no talent who went on to be an all time great of the game I suppose.
Or maybe he has a job he takes seriously.
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@Dova – you eat the duck then. I’ll eat the dog if necessary.
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Boa was pencilled in to open the batting for the AoD cricket team. Probably also the bowling.
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Boa was a handy cricketer if I recall correctly, wasn’t he age-group county or higher?
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I’m currently trying to get the Tichtheid diaspora back home before they shut down the internal travel
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Boa has indeed changed jobs to one he takes more seriously.
I’ve been promised some contributions from Claw and Xan. There are also some photos. :-)
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@dova
I’d probably get you singing Irish folk songs I don’t actually know myself.
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@Ticht – it sounded like he was going to be a cut above anything else we’d have had. But seeing as Sag was claiming the other opening spot as his birthright and insisted he was going to bat the entire innings without scoring any runs we probably would have needed it.
I think Brookter had been a very good cricketer when he was younger, but is a bit older than Boa. Not sure about anyone else being in the running, MVML definitely played, Fd maybe. Obviously I do, but I’m crap.
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Iks – 4 blog meets and I haven’t met you! I’ll make sure to get to the next one.
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OT’s lad of course. Need to get him in the side before he moves on to bigger things and it’s too late.
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@cmw
Him and his little brother could be the opening bowlers. Right arm-left arm partnership intimidating the openers.
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President of our club (and one of the principal founders) died the other week. Terrible cricketer, wonderful character. I was at his memorial thing on Saturday, a gathering way beyond the numbers now deemed to be advisable, but hey ho. He was also a well known local painter who one might have expected to be into rather more abstract stuff, but had an obsession with doing paintings of the York brickwork. Here’s his best known one:
http://yorkstories.co.uk/painting-an-iconic-ad-bile-beans-baz-ward/
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“Terrible cricketer, wonderful character”
That’s great, that is, I’ve met a few rugby players who could be substituted in to that description.
I like that painting, not 100% on the re-do.
French villages in the 90s had a lot of those adverts on buildings, the peeling paint was very much part of the charm, though many of them were getting replaced with billboards for “adult chat lines” and minitel, which seems to have died now.
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We must do so, Craigs.
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I was the best cricketer on our council estate between 1969 – 1973. No-one could bowl me out, and my finger-spinners could make a pudding ball rear up like a spooked wonder horse.
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