As usual, the Celts took the up-front hit: Ireland v Wales was cancelled postponed, followed by Treviso v Ulster and Zebre v Ospreys. Then came the news that Mako Vunipola was self-isolating from the England camp, although apparently it’s okay to infect the Saracens camp. (They’re relegated anyway: who cares?) Today’s shocking news is that Italy v England is also sacrificed to Covid-19.
But fear not, rugby fans! There is one person on our side, one person who knows that it’s all a big hoax. A person whose intimate involvement with Scottish golf courses has led to a love of rugby, inspired by Gavin Hastings.
“I think the 3.4% [death rate] is really a false number.
“Now, this is just my hunch, based on a lot of conversations with a lot of people that do this, because a lot of people will have this, and it’s very mild – they’ll get better very rapidly, they don’t even see a doctor, they don’t even call a doctor.
“You never hear about those people, so you can’t put them down in the category of the overall population, in terms of this corona flu, and/or virus. So you just can’t do that. So there is no reason for Six Nations matches to be deep-sixed. DBWR are just a bunch of wimps.”
This is of course very comforting, as everyone knows that Donald Trump’s hunches are enormously more accurate than the wild speculations of the World Health Organisation. While it’s true that a vast number of Americans won’t even call a doctor because they can’t afford to, deathly ill or not, the POTUS’s clarion call to laugh and snap our fingers at what the so-called experts are openly referring to as a pandemic will save our Six Nations and Pro-Woo.
The President is being undermined by snivelling lefties who are rejoicing at the thought of millions of people dying, economic Armageddon being unleashed, and – more importantly – rugby matches being cancelled, just to criticise The Donald. As the Guardian (itself a very dubious source) reports:
Peter Hegseth, a co-host of Fox & Friends Weekends, admonished Democrats’ criticism, saying: “They’re rooting for the coronavirus to spread. They’re rooting for it to grow. They’re rooting for the problem to get worse.”
“They’re probably jumping for joy,” Fox & Friends co-host Ainsley Earhardt said about the Democrats’ reaction to Six Nations matches being cancelled.
OvallyBalls can also reveal that Donald Trump is behind Vunipola’s decision to train with the Saracens:
“If we have thousands or hundreds of thousands of people that get better, just by, you know, sitting around and even going to work, some of them go to work, but they get better, and then when you do have a death, like you’ve had in the state of Washington, like you had one in California, I believe you had one in New York.”
While it turns out that no-one has yet died from coronavirus in New York (it’s only Trump’s home state, so why should he know?), the President’s message is clear: Get to work, you slackers, and you will be healed. Front up to the scrummage. Un-cancel the rugby matches. Work makes you free of coronavirus. Unless you’re dead.
Televisual rugby feasts not cancelled as yet:
Friday 6th March
| Sunwolves 14 – 47 Brumbies | 03:45 | Sky Sports Mix |
| Crusaders 24 – 20 Reds | 06:05 | Sky Sports Action |
| Waratahs 14 – 51 Chiefs | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| Dragons 25 – 37 Treviso (really?) | 19:35 | Premier Sports 1 |
| England 22 – 23 Wales U20s | 19:45 | BT Sport Action |
| Worcester 10 – 16 Saints | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
Saturday 7th March
| Hurricanes 15 – 24 Blues | 06:0t | Sky Sports Action |
| Rebels 37 – 17 Lions | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| England 66 – 7 Wales (women) | 12:05 | S4C / Sky Sports Action |
| Sharks v Los Jaguares | 13:05 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Bulls v Highlanders | 15:15 | Sky Sports Arena |
| England v Wales | 16:45 | ITV / S4C |
| Scotland v France (women) | 19:45 | BBC Alba / website/ button |
Sunday 8th March
| Bristol v Harlequins | 13:00 | BT Sport 1 |
| Scotland v France | 15:00 | BBC One / website / button |
Ovally Balls 
‘scuse me, point of order, can we not use the phrase “anti-vaxxers”, plz?’
Plague (or pandemic) enthusiasts.
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Schools are more likely to close because of staff shortages than ill pupils. There is also the knock on effects on childcare and staff in frontline services to consider. The information I’m getting from education authorities is far better and more frequent than the information I’m getting from the libraries side of things.
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Rugby, and sport in general isn’t going to be happening for a while. C-19 updates are too depressing. We’re not even going to be getting Deebee travelogues.
Yup, it’s time for everyone to get on Bloodborne to fill the time.
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NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
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Schools are closed here until 29 March (technically) but Varadkar’s speech to the nation last night implied quite strongly that it would go on longer, and that further restrictions will be imposed.
Dáil meets tomorrow (restricted session – 1/3 of TDs turning up) to pass a short bill to enable government to manage things – actually it’s based on a 1948 legislation used to control TB outbreak
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We’re not even going to be getting Deebee travelogues
Not in the next week or two, but I’ve recently been in Angola and I’m scheduled to go to Nigeria and Ghana in May (inshallah), so may have a tale or two! If Chair Thaum wants, I could possibly do an ATL on my recent visit to Luanda – a fascinating place. Maybe also an almost-midpoint of SuperRugby look at how the sides have performed so far?
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Haud me back!
Now have a large bottle of hand gel! Schools really do know how to look after their staff…
Thought that stuff wasn’t supposed to be any good?
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Still haven’t finished Bloodborne. Been playing Elite Dangerous instead.
In these troubled times we need some blood ministration. I will contact The Healing Church.
Did some panic buying yesterday. Furra laff.
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Mrs Craig’s has sanitised the house. Tbh I think everyone is getting a bit excited.
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for it to be panic buying does one have to show visible signs of panic?
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Also, question for the hive mind. We’re getting an extension built whilst we can’t live in our house and have been told that this can’t happen whilst the internal refit is being done. Can’t have 2 contractors on the same site. This leaves us with a dilemma.
The insurance company will give us money for the internal work if we want but that could lead to an unforeseen overspend. The alternative is to do the extension after the internal work (or first fix) which would make the extension more expensive and a bigger ballache initially.
I’ve never even wanted to take on an entire project like this and have zero experience. However, if it is cheaper to take the money then I might go for it.
Does anyone have any experience with this sort of thing?
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Chimpie – nah. Just bought loads of cans and frozen shit.
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Would be cheaper to freeze your own shit surely?
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Unless it’s a specific kind of shit you’re after.
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@craigs
No but that doesn’t usually stop us.
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Hiya Deebee – all ATLs gratefully accepted!
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The good stuff Chimpie. Nothing but the good stuff.
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having just completed an extension you’re probably best trying to reduce the number of organisations you have to manage. Trying to co-ordinate may just end up with more cost & delays
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Take the money & do it as a oner would be my suggestion [1]
[1] T’s & C’s: This ‘advice’ comes with no guarantee or liability whatsoever.
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I predict this will be the scene in Craigs’s house
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Chimpie – interesting. Did you run into any issues?
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Not issues as such. We’ve got the central heating put in by someone different to who did the main building work. it’s only now happening about 5 months after the main build. Just due to the different organisations and requirements etc.
Getting a good builder is key as well.
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Chimpie – nice, just ready for summer then! Fuck, not sure what to do….
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Testing…
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Having a single person in charge to shout at helps. Multiple parties just end up fannying around and blaming each other.
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Weird, I was told I couldn’t post a comment just now – no reason, just couldn’t. It was the best post I’ve ever written too.
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Tie them into a proper contract. With retention, liquidated damages etc.
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Craigs
If you’re living in the property at the same time I would take the route that makes the least mess overall………….
ie minimize family stress levels – its worth a few quid.
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Slade – were renting atm. But if we take the money the insurance Co will only pay for so many months..
I’m erring towards taking the money tbh.
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Fair enough – but don’t assume timetables will be met – e.g.here in France domestic projects have ground to a halt for the foreseeable. Anticipate lots of slippage.
We have two separate contractors working here at the moment – except they are not.
They are in distinctly separate areas so not under each others’ feet.
Hell of a mess ‘though – which is nasty when living in the same place.
Good luck
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“Just read a press release claiming that Covid-19 has seen sex toy sales shoot up by 135% in Canada and 71% in Italy. The UK, meanwhile, lags behind with just a 13% increase. Make of that what you will.”
couldn’t link the actual tweek
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that’ll be the schools shut then.
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tweek? Tweet.
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Cheers guys. I think we’ll be in our rented place for at least another 10 – 12 months. Tis a ballache of all ballaches.
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Chimpie – suddenly proud to be British. Either we are bumping uglies more or have a DIY spirit that other nations can’t match.
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Chimpie, I’m assuming your two posts weren’t linked?
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err. Correct.
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So Bernie is probably beaten. Trump is going to dine on sleepy Biden for a while, probably mention Hunter Biden being on the board of a Ukrainian energy Co with zero qualifications for a shit ton of cash and win the throne for another 4 years.
Awesome.
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Hunter Biden will be the new ‘but the emails!’
Sanders hasn’t been subjected to the full misinformation campaign yet, imagine he’d have had plenty of mud slung his way (commie! Destroy the country! etc.). Whoever the candidate would be dragged through a horrible shitestorm of bilge.
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Schools are closing but might not be ‘shut’. There may well still be staff (including me, perhaps) and they might still be able to have the exams in the schools. This news may well be disappointing to all the ‘seniors’ currently planning their last day antics for Friday.
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They’ve cancelled holby city.
Guess they need those doctors elsewhere.
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OMG. It’s the end times
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Not sure what the eastenders lot are going to offer though
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@dova
Loads and loads of yoga.
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*rugby news*
“Leicester are no longer for sale, the Premiership club saying the impact of Brexit and coronavirus combined with a lack of suitable investors has scuppered their plans.
The Tigers, who are 11th in the Premiership with four wins from 13 games, were put on the market in June seeking a £60m sale but the process has ended with the club “no longer in an offer period”.”
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Chimpie – pretty straight forward in Hunter’s case though.
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Chimpie, I think the signing of permacrocked Lions loosie Cyle Brinck has sent the valuation through the roof – you could probably add a zero to the original asking price. Imagine if they’d signed a fit Lions player!
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@craigs
It’s fairly common practice in those circles, however not a good look.
Just a sight irony alert in trumpton calling nepotism and corruption on someone else. amazing bit of projection.
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Sight? Slight
FFS chimpie
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Just done one of those DNA estimate things based on a digital photo. Am obviously bored. The results were as follows:
– 70% Scots-Irish
– 24% Puerto Rican
– 4% French
– 2% Native American
Make of that what you will.
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