As usual, the Celts took the up-front hit: Ireland v Wales was cancelled postponed, followed by Treviso v Ulster and Zebre v Ospreys. Then came the news that Mako Vunipola was self-isolating from the England camp, although apparently it’s okay to infect the Saracens camp. (They’re relegated anyway: who cares?) Today’s shocking news is that Italy v England is also sacrificed to Covid-19.
But fear not, rugby fans! There is one person on our side, one person who knows that it’s all a big hoax. A person whose intimate involvement with Scottish golf courses has led to a love of rugby, inspired by Gavin Hastings.
“I think the 3.4% [death rate] is really a false number.
“Now, this is just my hunch, based on a lot of conversations with a lot of people that do this, because a lot of people will have this, and it’s very mild – they’ll get better very rapidly, they don’t even see a doctor, they don’t even call a doctor.
“You never hear about those people, so you can’t put them down in the category of the overall population, in terms of this corona flu, and/or virus. So you just can’t do that. So there is no reason for Six Nations matches to be deep-sixed. DBWR are just a bunch of wimps.”
This is of course very comforting, as everyone knows that Donald Trump’s hunches are enormously more accurate than the wild speculations of the World Health Organisation. While it’s true that a vast number of Americans won’t even call a doctor because they can’t afford to, deathly ill or not, the POTUS’s clarion call to laugh and snap our fingers at what the so-called experts are openly referring to as a pandemic will save our Six Nations and Pro-Woo.
The President is being undermined by snivelling lefties who are rejoicing at the thought of millions of people dying, economic Armageddon being unleashed, and – more importantly – rugby matches being cancelled, just to criticise The Donald. As the Guardian (itself a very dubious source) reports:
Peter Hegseth, a co-host of Fox & Friends Weekends, admonished Democrats’ criticism, saying: “They’re rooting for the coronavirus to spread. They’re rooting for it to grow. They’re rooting for the problem to get worse.”
“They’re probably jumping for joy,” Fox & Friends co-host Ainsley Earhardt said about the Democrats’ reaction to Six Nations matches being cancelled.
OvallyBalls can also reveal that Donald Trump is behind Vunipola’s decision to train with the Saracens:
“If we have thousands or hundreds of thousands of people that get better, just by, you know, sitting around and even going to work, some of them go to work, but they get better, and then when you do have a death, like you’ve had in the state of Washington, like you had one in California, I believe you had one in New York.”
While it turns out that no-one has yet died from coronavirus in New York (it’s only Trump’s home state, so why should he know?), the President’s message is clear: Get to work, you slackers, and you will be healed. Front up to the scrummage. Un-cancel the rugby matches. Work makes you free of coronavirus. Unless you’re dead.
Televisual rugby feasts not cancelled as yet:
Friday 6th March
| Sunwolves 14 – 47 Brumbies | 03:45 | Sky Sports Mix |
| Crusaders 24 – 20 Reds | 06:05 | Sky Sports Action |
| Waratahs 14 – 51 Chiefs | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| Dragons 25 – 37 Treviso (really?) | 19:35 | Premier Sports 1 |
| England 22 – 23 Wales U20s | 19:45 | BT Sport Action |
| Worcester 10 – 16 Saints | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
Saturday 7th March
| Hurricanes 15 – 24 Blues | 06:0t | Sky Sports Action |
| Rebels 37 – 17 Lions | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| England 66 – 7 Wales (women) | 12:05 | S4C / Sky Sports Action |
| Sharks v Los Jaguares | 13:05 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Bulls v Highlanders | 15:15 | Sky Sports Arena |
| England v Wales | 16:45 | ITV / S4C |
| Scotland v France (women) | 19:45 | BBC Alba / website/ button |
Sunday 8th March
| Bristol v Harlequins | 13:00 | BT Sport 1 |
| Scotland v France | 15:00 | BBC One / website / button |
Ovally Balls 
Another future legend, Theo Bevacqua has been excellent. You can see why Gethin thinks he’s the bomb.
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Great cover tackle by rugby’s Mozart, Sam Costelow.
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And an England try, 22-20, just 7 left.
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How’s Mason Grady, the thinking man’s LRZ, gone, yos?
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Full house for that man Sam Costelow with the drop. 22-23.
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@tomp
Hasn’t seen much ball but it’s clear that he’s a proper monster despite being U18 still. He’s very powerful.
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France turning on the power now – pushover try. From Scotland’s put in.
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Th e French scrum massacres the Scottish 8 at a 5-metre put in. Joshua Brennan picks up and scores. Bonus point for France. Been too good this half.
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He’s still Under 18? Good god. That’s World Cups 2023, 2027, 2031 and, MG having moved into the centre, the 2035 RWC on Mars sown up.
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Grady couldn’t get the pass away to kill it. Less than 20 seconds to go.
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Never rated him.
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Wales win by a point. Really could have gone either way. Too many errors by Wales when a man and 7 points up; England only kicked one from four.
Sam Costelow is a short man, but he towers above the largest players like the rugby God he is.
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Woof!
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The only mystery that Sherlock Hound couldn’t solve was ‘how is Sam Costelow so good?’
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France win in the end.
I missed a fair bit of the second half.
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@Yos – I’ve been working undercover on this for a while.
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Blues Birthdays Slight Return
Not a birthday, a passing. I just heard that McCoy Tyner has died, he was part of the great John Coltrane quartet as well as influencing just about every single jazz pianist since he started recording.
When I first heard his take on “My Favourite Things” on his “Echoes of a Friend” album (a Coltrane tribute) I wondered, “why the hell did no one tell me about this?”
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Scotland’s women’s game off after one of the Scotland players tested positive for Coronavirus. As far as I know the men’s game should still go ahead tomorrow.
https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2020/mar/06/scotland-womens-six-nations-game-off-player-tests-positive-coronavirus
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For anyone self quarantining today, and not concerned with the huge environmental costs of streaming :-
https://www.vipleague.lc/rugby-sports-stream
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You know what the problem with bridges is? Not weatherproof enough. A tunnel, on the other hand …
https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2020/mar/05/build-an-irish-sea-tunnel-not-a-bridge-says-scottish-secretary
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To make it weather proof they could just put a roof on the bridge.
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They could just issue jet packs at Stranraer, same at Larne
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Like a tunnel in the sky. Love it. The best of both worlds.
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O4 they could just fill in the sea
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Has anyone considered trebuchets?
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What about a boat? I know it’s a wild suggestion, I’m just being silly now
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Andrew Kellaway has been hot in Super Rugby so far this year. Two braces before tonight and and another tonight. Was a big scorer in under 20s internationals but then got into the NSW senior team. The move to the Rebels has put his career back on course.
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Melbourne beat Joburg. 37-17, bit of a beating, but the Lions had chances, not accurate enough.
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There’s these special boats that you can put cars on. Bet you’d not though of that.
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Lots of crazy talk around this morning
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He he he. Just watched this. Lordy, shouldn’t have watched this when I was 8.
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Has someone said George Ford is better than Sam Costelow?
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Best bit is the speech by the old boy 44 minutes in.
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RIP Matthew J Watkins. Way too young.
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Templates for Boris here.
https://www.discovernewengland.org/things-do/new-englands-romantic-covered-bridges
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And here:
https://www.archdaily.com/910227/4-mega-bridges-that-were-never-built
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This is awfully unfair of Boris. He already has plentiful experience in bullshit ideas that never get built but are subsidised to a fair degree by the public purse.
If anyone can not get a fantasy major piece of infrastructure not built while spending a lot of money in the early planning stages and selling a pie in the sky dream of future success it’s Boris.
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Perfect for connecting Northern Ireland and Scotland. Weather proof.
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Great idea, OT, lots of boats, bow to stern.
You could drive right across the water
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Could be a good use for all those new broken Boeings, no ? Floats and sails ??
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“Sure enough, France beat both Wales and England, but in different ways. One at home, the other abroad. England might have won in Paris, Wales did not really threaten to win in Cardiff.”
Wales were never as far behind and finished closer so this is a bit of an odd take. Think Wales would probably have won had they not thrown the interception as that was the point when they seemed to be getting on top. I’ll be amazed if they get as close today though. That said I won’t see it until maybe tomorrow morning as Mrs CMW has bought tickets to go to the theatre to see The Seagull. We seem to manage to get out without the kids about three times a year these days and she’s managed to pick the day of the England game. Probably for the best…
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I had a nipper-crush on Lucy Fleming in The Survivors.
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Is there any 70s actress you DIDN’T have a nipper crush on?
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Very sad news that Yos. I see the lad was from just down the road from where I was born.
How is Siôr pronounced?
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Can’t deny there were a few, BB.
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Particularly worthy object of your adoration there, Iks. Not just easy on the eye, but as the daughter of Celia Johnson, and the niece of Ian Fleming, she is fairly cashed up too.
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@Iks
Like ‘shore’ but with a proper tidy roll of the tongue.
Must confess that I’ve never met anyone with that name.
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Managed to catch the 2nd half of the England/Wales Women’s match. Impressive turnout at the Stoop (~10k), promising for the future.
Bit of a thumping, England on course for a ‘Slam (if the final match is every played).
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‘Sreally weird not havinng any rugby on to watch at this time of day!
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Exeter vs Bath starting just now…………………………
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