As usual, the Celts took the up-front hit: Ireland v Wales was cancelled postponed, followed by Treviso v Ulster and Zebre v Ospreys. Then came the news that Mako Vunipola was self-isolating from the England camp, although apparently it’s okay to infect the Saracens camp. (They’re relegated anyway: who cares?) Today’s shocking news is that Italy v England is also sacrificed to Covid-19.
But fear not, rugby fans! There is one person on our side, one person who knows that it’s all a big hoax. A person whose intimate involvement with Scottish golf courses has led to a love of rugby, inspired by Gavin Hastings.
“I think the 3.4% [death rate] is really a false number.
“Now, this is just my hunch, based on a lot of conversations with a lot of people that do this, because a lot of people will have this, and it’s very mild – they’ll get better very rapidly, they don’t even see a doctor, they don’t even call a doctor.
“You never hear about those people, so you can’t put them down in the category of the overall population, in terms of this corona flu, and/or virus. So you just can’t do that. So there is no reason for Six Nations matches to be deep-sixed. DBWR are just a bunch of wimps.”
This is of course very comforting, as everyone knows that Donald Trump’s hunches are enormously more accurate than the wild speculations of the World Health Organisation. While it’s true that a vast number of Americans won’t even call a doctor because they can’t afford to, deathly ill or not, the POTUS’s clarion call to laugh and snap our fingers at what the so-called experts are openly referring to as a pandemic will save our Six Nations and Pro-Woo.
The President is being undermined by snivelling lefties who are rejoicing at the thought of millions of people dying, economic Armageddon being unleashed, and – more importantly – rugby matches being cancelled, just to criticise The Donald. As the Guardian (itself a very dubious source) reports:
Peter Hegseth, a co-host of Fox & Friends Weekends, admonished Democrats’ criticism, saying: “They’re rooting for the coronavirus to spread. They’re rooting for it to grow. They’re rooting for the problem to get worse.”
“They’re probably jumping for joy,” Fox & Friends co-host Ainsley Earhardt said about the Democrats’ reaction to Six Nations matches being cancelled.
OvallyBalls can also reveal that Donald Trump is behind Vunipola’s decision to train with the Saracens:
“If we have thousands or hundreds of thousands of people that get better, just by, you know, sitting around and even going to work, some of them go to work, but they get better, and then when you do have a death, like you’ve had in the state of Washington, like you had one in California, I believe you had one in New York.”
While it turns out that no-one has yet died from coronavirus in New York (it’s only Trump’s home state, so why should he know?), the President’s message is clear: Get to work, you slackers, and you will be healed. Front up to the scrummage. Un-cancel the rugby matches. Work makes you free of coronavirus. Unless you’re dead.
Televisual rugby feasts not cancelled as yet:
Friday 6th March
| Sunwolves 14 – 47 Brumbies | 03:45 | Sky Sports Mix |
| Crusaders 24 – 20 Reds | 06:05 | Sky Sports Action |
| Waratahs 14 – 51 Chiefs | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| Dragons 25 – 37 Treviso (really?) | 19:35 | Premier Sports 1 |
| England 22 – 23 Wales U20s | 19:45 | BT Sport Action |
| Worcester 10 – 16 Saints | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
Saturday 7th March
| Hurricanes 15 – 24 Blues | 06:0t | Sky Sports Action |
| Rebels 37 – 17 Lions | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| England 66 – 7 Wales (women) | 12:05 | S4C / Sky Sports Action |
| Sharks v Los Jaguares | 13:05 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Bulls v Highlanders | 15:15 | Sky Sports Arena |
| England v Wales | 16:45 | ITV / S4C |
| Scotland v France (women) | 19:45 | BBC Alba / website/ button |
Sunday 8th March
| Bristol v Harlequins | 13:00 | BT Sport 1 |
| Scotland v France | 15:00 | BBC One / website / button |
Ovally Balls 
Where’s it on, Slade? Don’t see it on BT Sport.
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trying to get it via VIPLeague.tv but Norton is blocking me today
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Bath out of their depth at the mo……………………
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Bulls v Highlanders is a very hard watch because of the kit clash. Crazy the Bulls haven’t been told to change shirts.
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Ta Yos. Tidy name to give to your child, Tal too.
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Arf, I knew there was something a bit special about Lucy, Tim.
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First time I have managed to vpn in to ITV for rugger
❤ BiMi
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I’ve seen 3 of the Bulls games this year, yos. They’be all been hard watches.
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Seems names are a theme in my nervous chat before the Big Rogering™️.
When I was a nipper growing up in a house where my father was an obsessive horse-race punter it was normal to watch loads of horse racing and get involved in picking horses.
I latched onto the jockey Paul Kelleway because I liked the sound of his name. So young rugby Kellaway has my initial backing.
When’s kick off?
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And there’s Ireland’s 11th try to take them up to 70 points.
*posts we’d be making if it wasn’t for the coronavirus*
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Big Rogering™️.
Under normal circumstances, I would look forward to this (bring back ‘pro)
Today, I am not
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“Finally, a smile”
“Paul, do you think Murray and Sexton have done enough to ensure their continued selection?”
-“I’d have to say yes to that.”
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Exeter 57 – 20 Bath………..says it all
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Watching this Itoje/Moriarty piece has highlighted something for me
How on earh are forwards permitted to wear lift handles around their thighs? A bit of strapping, fine, but Itoje, Moriarty, Stander all seen to have strapped (plastic?) handles on their thighs to aid lineout lifts
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Bulls get the ball just in their half, simple hands, Gelant fixes the defences and gets through, the ball comes to Speckman for his second score in 5 mins. Bulls better this half, Landers not great.
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26-13, by the way.
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In fact, outside of Itoje and little Eddie, this England team is remarkably likeable. Down with this kind of thing.
Bring back Melville, Guscott, Dooley, Dayglo, Dawson, Brown. Proper English rugby figures who everyone can revile
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Itoje seemed quite likeable to me! Genge on the other hand….
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The Big Sexy and Alfie show is good value
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Uh-oh, there’s a lake under the forwards after that anthem.
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AARRRGGHHH SPAFFER!
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Where is Sag to disparage once again the English anthem?
Miss him.
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ITV plan to Boris Johnson and suddenly, fleetingly, I want England to lose.
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That’s put a real downer on it Thaum.
I hope Wales stuff them up their holes now
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Here is hoping for a great game.
Hi everybody.
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C’mon Wales!
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Very gentle welcome to Dan Biggar there. So glad I am too old to play now!
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Hahaha, Itoje shaping to kick the ball through.
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Nice move!
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Not much wrapping in that hit from Tuilagi (albeit the force mainly came from a copybook tackle from Curry)
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Good to see we’ve sorted the defence out.
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Now that’s a way to come back to international rugby. That was a huge gap for Watson to run into.
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Lovely try!
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England winning the early exchanges physically and their kicking game is more accurate
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England so much more powerful / skilful with Anthony Watson back
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Lovely from Youngs and Watson.
I seem to be 30s behind.
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Oh dear. Sideways looks crocked.
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That was back off May, not froward from HalfP.
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Where does Moriarty get that behaviour from?
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Slade’s got a dead mouse attached to his upper lip.
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Henry Slade – get rid of that ‘tache
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Hahaha! Was Marler really checking AWJ ‘s virility?
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It’s not exactly Wade Dooley running fifteen yards to smack someone in the puss
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Ffs Faz. No need.
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Farrell should’ve hit his own player.
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Hahaha
Was Marler really checking AWJ’s attributes?
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Game has gone soft
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Thought the.English were outraged by the Murrayfield booing
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Ha’penny looking sharper today than he has for a long time.
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Farrell again!
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