As usual, the Celts took the up-front hit: Ireland v Wales was cancelled postponed, followed by Treviso v Ulster and Zebre v Ospreys. Then came the news that Mako Vunipola was self-isolating from the England camp, although apparently it’s okay to infect the Saracens camp. (They’re relegated anyway: who cares?) Today’s shocking news is that Italy v England is also sacrificed to Covid-19.
But fear not, rugby fans! There is one person on our side, one person who knows that it’s all a big hoax. A person whose intimate involvement with Scottish golf courses has led to a love of rugby, inspired by Gavin Hastings.
“I think the 3.4% [death rate] is really a false number.
“Now, this is just my hunch, based on a lot of conversations with a lot of people that do this, because a lot of people will have this, and it’s very mild – they’ll get better very rapidly, they don’t even see a doctor, they don’t even call a doctor.
“You never hear about those people, so you can’t put them down in the category of the overall population, in terms of this corona flu, and/or virus. So you just can’t do that. So there is no reason for Six Nations matches to be deep-sixed. DBWR are just a bunch of wimps.”
This is of course very comforting, as everyone knows that Donald Trump’s hunches are enormously more accurate than the wild speculations of the World Health Organisation. While it’s true that a vast number of Americans won’t even call a doctor because they can’t afford to, deathly ill or not, the POTUS’s clarion call to laugh and snap our fingers at what the so-called experts are openly referring to as a pandemic will save our Six Nations and Pro-Woo.
The President is being undermined by snivelling lefties who are rejoicing at the thought of millions of people dying, economic Armageddon being unleashed, and – more importantly – rugby matches being cancelled, just to criticise The Donald. As the Guardian (itself a very dubious source) reports:
Peter Hegseth, a co-host of Fox & Friends Weekends, admonished Democrats’ criticism, saying: “They’re rooting for the coronavirus to spread. They’re rooting for it to grow. They’re rooting for the problem to get worse.”
“They’re probably jumping for joy,” Fox & Friends co-host Ainsley Earhardt said about the Democrats’ reaction to Six Nations matches being cancelled.
OvallyBalls can also reveal that Donald Trump is behind Vunipola’s decision to train with the Saracens:
“If we have thousands or hundreds of thousands of people that get better, just by, you know, sitting around and even going to work, some of them go to work, but they get better, and then when you do have a death, like you’ve had in the state of Washington, like you had one in California, I believe you had one in New York.”
While it turns out that no-one has yet died from coronavirus in New York (it’s only Trump’s home state, so why should he know?), the President’s message is clear: Get to work, you slackers, and you will be healed. Front up to the scrummage. Un-cancel the rugby matches. Work makes you free of coronavirus. Unless you’re dead.
Televisual rugby feasts not cancelled as yet:
Friday 6th March
| Sunwolves 14 – 47 Brumbies | 03:45 | Sky Sports Mix |
| Crusaders 24 – 20 Reds | 06:05 | Sky Sports Action |
| Waratahs 14 – 51 Chiefs | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| Dragons 25 – 37 Treviso (really?) | 19:35 | Premier Sports 1 |
| England 22 – 23 Wales U20s | 19:45 | BT Sport Action |
| Worcester 10 – 16 Saints | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
Saturday 7th March
| Hurricanes 15 – 24 Blues | 06:0t | Sky Sports Action |
| Rebels 37 – 17 Lions | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| England 66 – 7 Wales (women) | 12:05 | S4C / Sky Sports Action |
| Sharks v Los Jaguares | 13:05 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Bulls v Highlanders | 15:15 | Sky Sports Arena |
| England v Wales | 16:45 | ITV / S4C |
| Scotland v France (women) | 19:45 | BBC Alba / website/ button |
Sunday 8th March
| Bristol v Harlequins | 13:00 | BT Sport 1 |
| Scotland v France | 15:00 | BBC One / website / button |
Ovally Balls 
Not rolling penalty absolute bullshit. Also Welsh lineout not straight.
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Has this red got a spotfixing bet on?
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SCRUM?!! Are they mad?
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@Yosoy
Yes. Everything good is off the cuff. There is no plan at all and no.structure on attack or defence.
This coaching team have had some tough injuries to deal with, and a tough act to follow, but that doesnt excuse their cluelessness
Sack them.after the Scotland game
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Scrum? Brown was looking knackered not 10 mins ago.
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That’s Genge in the bin then.
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FFS. Their props well.on top and we have an injured flanker at lock.
Lets go for a scrum
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I thought once you called the penalty, you couldn’t change your mind.
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With that moustache Ellis Genge looks as if he’d have a lot of watches inside his coat pocket and would be happy to sell them to you.
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That’s North whacked in the heid again.
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Scummy from Tuilagi
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Manu has to walk for that
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North done for pace by Slade!!
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Dayglo is an idiot
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Red card. Tucked the arm again. Shoulder to chin.
Game well won and needlessly dirty play.
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That’s pure filth and doesn’t need 87 replays
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Red card.
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Being extremely generous, you might say Manu was targeting the ball with his arm, but I think it’s a red on the replay.
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Two almost identical reckless tackles from Lawes and now Manu.
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Oooh, red.
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Right decision
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Very good tackle by Slade. Tullagi with a horror.
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Fuck off Dayglo
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G’wan the Launch.
Also, fuck off Dayglo.
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English crowd booing the red card.
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Needs a ban for that.
Nice touch between North and Tuilagi on the way off, but he should spend a few weeks watching
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Can I just add: fuck off, Dayglo.
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Still looking like a walk in the park for England.
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@Tomp – I think they can hear Dayglo on comms and they’re booing his inanities.
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Really Dumb. Why go for a maul when you’ve got two extra players?
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@Tomp
No, no no. Only the dastardly Scots boo.
English are well above that kind of thing
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All these scrums are just wasting time.
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Clocking away and no one cares!
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@utna
RWC 2015 – Biggar’s match-winning penalty was taken in deathly silence.
Cos we had the volume down on the telly.
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Ticking…
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Steady on.
Right decision.
Game on now
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Can’t fault the effort as it’s been great. This is all on the coaching team.
Pivac won’t win one match v a serious team.
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Finally a try at Twickers against 13 men.
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Ref’s playing incredible advantages for knock-ons.
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This ref has money on a Welsh bonus point!! Bullshit long advantage for a knock on.
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Congrats England, by far the better team.
Tough game, well won.
England are building to a top level side, just need a bit more consitency and composure. Think a little less.Little Eddie style niggle would help them develop more as a team. But, nonetheless, the quality of their backline play is outstanding, and the forwards are superb.
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I don’t think the Welsh should be so despondent. Wales showed a lot of creativity in attack. Granted, the defence is minging after losing Edwards, but hopefully that can be fixed.
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The score is much closer than the match but congrats to Wales for their last efforts. Triple Crown will have to do.
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Pivac won’t win one match v a serious team
x1000
Utter joke levels of tactics and leadership
Albeit we lost today against a very very good team.
Crap selections, under 12 defense. No plan.
Everything good came from individual players. Tipuric was incredible.
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Phew.
Well played Wales. That was a cracker of a match.
Stupid from manu, the tackle was made and he wasn’t going anywhere. He had an immense game before that.
Dayglo only said one correct thing all game, which was that youngs played well.
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nice words Utna…………….
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Seems a long time since we won the triple crown. 2016?
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Great match, I don’t get why Wales posters are so down, we were close in Twickenham. England brilliant in the FH and Lawes’ work over the ball key to stopping momentum. Youngs also excellent.
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They’ve averaged 28 points against in the past three matches: you don’t win test matches against good teams conceding that many points.
It’s all individual spark with no structure that’s the good parts. It’s a very poorly prepared team for top level rugby.
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Congrats England ladz.
I’m more than a little bewildered by what I’m seeing from Wales. As someone said earlier there were some excellent individual efforts out there, but the fundamentals look almost like a game plan on paper rather than reality.
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