As usual, the Celts took the up-front hit: Ireland v Wales was cancelled postponed, followed by Treviso v Ulster and Zebre v Ospreys. Then came the news that Mako Vunipola was self-isolating from the England camp, although apparently it’s okay to infect the Saracens camp. (They’re relegated anyway: who cares?) Today’s shocking news is that Italy v England is also sacrificed to Covid-19.
But fear not, rugby fans! There is one person on our side, one person who knows that it’s all a big hoax. A person whose intimate involvement with Scottish golf courses has led to a love of rugby, inspired by Gavin Hastings.
“I think the 3.4% [death rate] is really a false number.
“Now, this is just my hunch, based on a lot of conversations with a lot of people that do this, because a lot of people will have this, and it’s very mild – they’ll get better very rapidly, they don’t even see a doctor, they don’t even call a doctor.
“You never hear about those people, so you can’t put them down in the category of the overall population, in terms of this corona flu, and/or virus. So you just can’t do that. So there is no reason for Six Nations matches to be deep-sixed. DBWR are just a bunch of wimps.”
This is of course very comforting, as everyone knows that Donald Trump’s hunches are enormously more accurate than the wild speculations of the World Health Organisation. While it’s true that a vast number of Americans won’t even call a doctor because they can’t afford to, deathly ill or not, the POTUS’s clarion call to laugh and snap our fingers at what the so-called experts are openly referring to as a pandemic will save our Six Nations and Pro-Woo.
The President is being undermined by snivelling lefties who are rejoicing at the thought of millions of people dying, economic Armageddon being unleashed, and – more importantly – rugby matches being cancelled, just to criticise The Donald. As the Guardian (itself a very dubious source) reports:
Peter Hegseth, a co-host of Fox & Friends Weekends, admonished Democrats’ criticism, saying: “They’re rooting for the coronavirus to spread. They’re rooting for it to grow. They’re rooting for the problem to get worse.”
“They’re probably jumping for joy,” Fox & Friends co-host Ainsley Earhardt said about the Democrats’ reaction to Six Nations matches being cancelled.
OvallyBalls can also reveal that Donald Trump is behind Vunipola’s decision to train with the Saracens:
“If we have thousands or hundreds of thousands of people that get better, just by, you know, sitting around and even going to work, some of them go to work, but they get better, and then when you do have a death, like you’ve had in the state of Washington, like you had one in California, I believe you had one in New York.”
While it turns out that no-one has yet died from coronavirus in New York (it’s only Trump’s home state, so why should he know?), the President’s message is clear: Get to work, you slackers, and you will be healed. Front up to the scrummage. Un-cancel the rugby matches. Work makes you free of coronavirus. Unless you’re dead.
Televisual rugby feasts not cancelled as yet:
Friday 6th March
| Sunwolves 14 – 47 Brumbies | 03:45 | Sky Sports Mix |
| Crusaders 24 – 20 Reds | 06:05 | Sky Sports Action |
| Waratahs 14 – 51 Chiefs | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| Dragons 25 – 37 Treviso (really?) | 19:35 | Premier Sports 1 |
| England 22 – 23 Wales U20s | 19:45 | BT Sport Action |
| Worcester 10 – 16 Saints | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
Saturday 7th March
| Hurricanes 15 – 24 Blues | 06:0t | Sky Sports Action |
| Rebels 37 – 17 Lions | 08:15 | Sky Sports Action |
| England 66 – 7 Wales (women) | 12:05 | S4C / Sky Sports Action |
| Sharks v Los Jaguares | 13:05 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Bulls v Highlanders | 15:15 | Sky Sports Arena |
| England v Wales | 16:45 | ITV / S4C |
| Scotland v France (women) | 19:45 | BBC Alba / website/ button |
Sunday 8th March
| Bristol v Harlequins | 13:00 | BT Sport 1 |
| Scotland v France | 15:00 | BBC One / website / button |
Ovally Balls 
When yos and utna meet:
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Three scores down with 10 left.
Two scores down with 6 left v France.
I don’t count those as narrow defeats. Consolation scores are hiding window cracks behind the curtains.
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Fuck this “new style of play” narrative
GS winners and WC semi finalists to 5th place in 12 months
Cannot stand this “spin” shit
Belittle the achievements of Gats/Sion and accuse them of “straightjacketing” Wales attack.
Maybe, just maybe, they knew what they were doing?
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I don’t count those as narrow defeats. Consolation scores are hiding window cracks behind the curtains
x1000
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Gats so very obviously knows his stuff.
Lions achievements, what he did with Wales. Nobody has perfect but you were lucky to have him.
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If we have such great individual spark with no structure, why were we not battering teams when we did have that structure? I think we just need to work on our wide defence a bit to stop leaking points, otherwise it looks good (as long as we keep Tipuric fit)
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Italy v us – 0 cards
Ireland v us – 1 yellow card
France v us – 2 yellow cards
England v us – 1 red, 1 yellow
Italy missed a trick. They’re too honest.
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Because they didn’t have structures that broke down so easily that they had to resort to wangball. Unless wangball is the plan, in which case it is actually worse than I feared.
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In fairness wales did batter
In fairness Wales did batter a few teams under gatland.
Also won some grand slams. Quite recently.
I dont know much about the new coach, whether he’s rubbish or not though I doubt it. It will just be a big change.
What wales dont have us the numbers to just discard most of the old team and pick new ones for the new coach.
England were able to do so under Lancaster and this team is still his legacy. We’ll have to do it again under the next coach.
Wales have great players but the core have been used to one man’s vision for a very long time and they’re still there trying to adjust.
And they lost by 3 and played some great stuff.
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Super result for Spain in the 7z in Vancouver – 28-26 win over Ireland.
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Ah, the Bulls won 38-13 in the end. 5 second half tries from the back 3 of Gelant, Speckman and Hendricks. Change of shirts did the trick.
Deebee’s Lions in their historic position on the SA log.
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The only disappointing performance from Wales this 6N was Ireland imo. We need to stop being so negative about a dip that was inevitable with the coaching team changing. The defence is concerning for sure, but it’s also not the most difficult thing to sort out.
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@Flair thanks for your response re Marler, someone once did it to me while playing football, I remember just being really shocked and not doing anything but it wasn’t a nice experience. Didn’t like the ‘banter’ about it on the ITV coverage myself, although it was funny…
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Yeah fuck off dayglo!
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What’s he done?
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Tried to claim Manu was hard done by.
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Pfft
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I think perhaps George North should look at the bigger picture of the next 50 years.
Rugby isn’t looking after him, his family and friends should
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I know we like a few of the old songs, how about the oldest Western Music song in existence?
As long as you live, shine
Let noting grieve you beyond measure
For your time is short and time will claim its toll
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Sweet pathos (if that’s possible? ) in a song about the fleeting nature of existence being the longest existing one in western civilization.
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On yesterday’s match: the 3 point margin flattered Wales who were bullied off the park for most of the match. Red was a red all day under the current rules. FNAT* spreading like wildfire through the England camp. They should be put in quarantine until it passes. North needs to be offered a cushy studio spot for his own health.
*Farrell No-Arms Tackle**
**Speaking of tackle, Marler should stick to grabbing his own. Preferably not in the public gaze either.
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Watching the women’s cricket final. Melbourne looks like a lovely place, other than all the buildings. Decided I don’t like modern cities much. Can’t wait to get out of the one I live in.
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Alyssa Healy off to a flyer with 28 off 14 so far, having been dropped twice, albeit both relatively difficult chances. I’m hungover and babbling. Please forgive me, I know not what I do.
Have that earworm early on a Sunday morning.
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If I act a little strange?
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Given how well Lawes, Wilson and Curry played………….I thought NAvidi and Tipuric had fantastic games
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Plus, I know he has his unpleasant side but Farrell was really good………..running, passing, tackling and especially for the tee – a heartbreaker.
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The state of their boots again.
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Neil Francis has out-excelled himself in today’s Sunday Independent.
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I usually enjoy a bit of Eddie’s bantz in the run up to a game, it adds a bit of colour. I think he’s way off saying that England were playing against 16 men, fans can do that, players can do it in the immediate aftermath, coaches should hold their tongues and make an official complaint if necessary.
Also, to say the red card was ridiculous, or whatever word he used, is itself ridiculous. Who gives a monkey’s about concussion, eh?
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Which is his article, Tam, there is a lot and the advertising, whilst not quite Wales Online or The Scotsman level, it is difficult to navigate that site
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It would probably help if I’d gone to the correct “Independent” right enough
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I only caught the end of the game so was disappointed to see us lose our heads at the end. It was a red imo but a couple of inches and it would have been a yellow or penalty.
Not sure about Marler. Generally seems like a nice guy off the pitch but maybe gets too carried away on it. Just reminds me of baldy’s story tbh.
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Commiserations to the Welsh posters though. Following Gats was always going to be a tough ask.
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What was Baldy’s story, Craigs?
Apart from losing a bollock in Wales
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Ticht – that one. Although, Baldy’s was at the extreme end of a bollock grab.
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Totally agree with you Ticht re. Eddie Jones. I wasn’t happy with the referee while watching with my one eye, but I don’t want to hear that nonsense from our head coach. The sooner he’s gone, the better, as far as I’m concerned.
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Marler, quite funny really, and gave us Alfies commentary gold.
Manu, yeah, red. Can see what he was trying to do, ie bring arm thru and lift/shove North into touch after first tackle, but got it wrong, and there should be no argument there. Jones being a dick. ( Increasingly so).
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What did Alfie say? I missed the whole incident.
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Thaum, they were talking about Marler grabbing AWJ’s bollocks, Alfie said he was really saddened by it, it would never have happened in his day, if it did he would never have retired
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Alfie has since been made to apologise for his joke,
Marler will probably get into a bit of bother since it’s so high profile, Wales Online reckon it’s a 12 week, ahem, entry point.
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What? For not being offended enough?
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I didn’t think so, neither did AWJ think so at the time nor in the press conference post-match.
Hope Marler gets a very long ban.
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Thought we were good money for the win, 3 point margin flattering (but we deserved to be punished for our indiscipline).
Wales have got some quality, quality players (I hate Tipueric in a I wish he was English way) but no real structure in attack or defence. Hopefully that’s just because they’re still adjusting but my worry if I was Welsh is that Turkball just won’t work in the international arena (as it never really convinced in the Heinie…)
Manu a red (although wouldn’t have blinked if it was a yellow) and stupid as Slade had him in touch and it ended up undermining what had been a phenomenal set of defence that Wales were going to walk away scoreless from.
My big gripe with the Manu red however, is the total lack of consistency that could have cost us the game – red or yellow we’re down to 13 but how the hell is it any different to Parkes hit on Manu earlier on that didn’t even get a second look (can you imagine the outrage if that had been Farrell?!).
What about the bloody suplex on Curry (legs going beyond the vertical apparently fine on clear outs if you show good technique on the lift?!), or the high shot by Owens on Youngs?
Apply the laws yes (and doesn’t excuse Manu), but its embarrassing really that at international level there’s such inconsistency (not the first time this 6N either) in that application
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Marler is a prick and I wouldn’t mind seeing him away for a long time – Mako and Genge are a plenty good enough LH pair and there’s no excuse for what he did.
I’m all for a bit of banter and niggle (no real problem with Farrell’s being a dick to North or AWJ holding Curry down) but that was too far. Belongs in the past along with 99 calls and gouging.
Also thought Slade was brilliant at 15, really good option for us to have and I’m a big fan of us keeping the 6/2 split going forward. Was also good to see Watson and his dancing feet back and credit where it’s due thought Youngs was good (despite another box on the full) and Daly was really good in the air again.
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@FF – I thought the ref was extremely consistent on the high tackles. All the ones that were attempts to make a proper tackle with the arms he gave as penalty only. There were several of these from both sides all of which were penalised, not sure why you don’t mention the England ones, there were at least three in the first half. Parkes did manage to get his own head involved as well which maybe makes him slightly lucky to avoid yellow (and still have a head)but the others were all much of a muchness. The one when someone went shoulder first to head got a red card – good refereeing.
If anything the most obvious one he missed was the no arms tackle on Biggar right at the start of the game.
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Actually thought it was a well refereed game all round. And a convincing win for England though I don’t think Wales were as poor as some on here are claiming. Can’t understand all the pissing and moaning from England supporters BTL on the Guardian (why aren’t they happy?), but that’s how it is these days.
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@Dova:
In fairness wales did batter
In fairness Wales did batter
‘In fairness Wales did batter’ is both a great title and first line for a poem. It went a bit astray after that though I thought.
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I missed a fair bit of the game having my dinner so can’t comment too much on details. The take out on Curry looked nasty on first viewing, Tuilagi was a red all day long. We really need more oomph up front. That’s where the game begins and ends. Same happened v France and Ireland.
This game was a little reminiscent of the 2016 in which we were 19-0 and then 25-7 down before a couple of quick scores in the last few minutes when England were down a man made the scoreline close.
What I’m saying is 5 minutes more of playing and it’d have been a well-deserved win for Wales.
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There was also a clearout on Sinckler, in the second half, that involved a Welsh player entering from the side and lifting both his legs in the air to pivot him round.
Breakdown’s a mess.
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Offside line could have been reffed better of course, but it was no worse than any of the other games this year.
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