It started off so well: they said we made a perfect blog meet location. Historic Heidelberg, an Irish pub, Super Saturday. Three nations with a chance of vying for the title. Then the nasty wee bugger cancelled some matches, participants dropped off like superannuated flies, and – with 24 hours to go – the one remaining scheduled match was nixed.
Some of us, made of stronger stuff, were undaunted by the prospect of a pandemic along the lines of Stephen King’s The Stand. We, the strong, the proud, the possibly foolish: Boanova, DropTheClaw, Meades, Xan, the mister and me, and of course our noble, gracious and hard-working hosts, Mister and Missus Iks.
We’d all arrived by Friday evening, so got down to business immediately at Vetter’s. Boa and Xan had arrived a couple of days before, and had some important information to impart.
Boa and Xan’s Top Tourist Tip for Heidelberg: What Not to Visit
As every fule kno, Gurgle is your go-to site for local attractions. Imagine our heroes’ excitement when they found something called the Königstuhl. The King’s Stool! It must be an ancient throne (or something): off we go!
The way was long and weary, 13 km straight up a mountain, but our intrepid adventurers persevered, battling off trolls, Nazgûl, plagues of locusts and football fans. At last, weary and wiping the sweat from their brows, they reached the summit, and found … a construction site.
And a bus stop.
The Plans
Given that there was no rugby on the morrow, a discussion ensued on what to do. The decision was taken to meet at the Irish pub as planned, so the poor buggers had some business, footfall in pubs and restaurants being noticeably down.
MissusIks also promised to find a rugby ball. Our bits perked up.
The Big Day
We all congregated at The Dubliner, only two hours late, and obviously much hilarity ensued. Which shall mostly be hush-hush. But I have previously reported that some of the lads disappeared down an alley-way with the rugby ball, which subsequently suffered the sad fate pictured above. But it remained unpunctured, as you will see.
The next port of call was the Bar Centrale, which was sadly neglected by other customers, but which did serve the greatest G&T ever experienced, and also had a square opposite that was perfect for ball-wanging. It was an unfortunate pass that hit me in the face, bloodied my nose, and sent my glasses clattering to the floor. Fortunately the glasses were uninjured except for the imprint of the ball’s pattern on the lens, discovered in the morning.
Such is the stuff from where dreams are woven.
Then off to dinner, with an enormous bottle of wine courtesy of MissusIks.
Vowing to the rugby gods to return in happier – or at least, less contagious – times, we said our goodbyes.
Ovally Balls 
I could be the chap having a heave at a rare straight one and getting bowled by the girl. If I was doing anything useful then I’m probably one of the fielders on the boundary taking a decent catch.
The left hander who opened for the team batting second looked good enough to have won that on his own given the filth the winners were bowling. He should be more than a little disappointed with himself.
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I’ve played at least three hundred games (probably nearer to four hundred) of that kind of cricket and never seen anyone get out like the guy who middles a pull shot on to his stumps from about a yard and a half outside off stump. I’m trying to figure out why. At the moment my theory is that players whose only shot is the pull shot normally wouldn’t move their feet enough to be able to do it and would end up slapping it straight or maybe to mid-on at worst. Loads of times I’ve seen people wind up to pull really slow and short leg-side or even straight long-hops, but then the wicket keeper is in a lot more danger than the stumps.
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I have seen someone hit a legside one to third man on the pull shot (having turned round to face the keeper) so that can’t have missed the stumps by much, but would sort of be the opposite of what happens in the video even if he had got out which he didn’t.
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My dad once offered to umpire a game we played. The night before I quizzed him on the lbw law and he didn’t know it very well. He knew legs, befores and wickets were involved but was about it. The first two times the ball hit pads we went up and he gave the batters out. Our captain then suggested no more lbw appeals in the match.
In the Czech league there are a couple of guys who are very prone to succumbing to giving the 4th or 5th appeal out.
I never give anyone out lbw.
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@Tomp – quite right too, who are we to say what would have happened.
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An interesting interview with Rob Baxter on managing the coming weeks:
https://www.exeterchiefs.co.uk/news/rob-baxter-qa-special
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Craigs, did you star in a cooking competition? Swedish meatball recipe looked excellent!
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Afraid the Yorkshire mob seem to have your number though.
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Jeez, this sort of short term shit makes me really angry.
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2020/mar/22/conifer-oak-britain-forest-change-to-meet-climate-targets
Non native species have a tendency to create a wasteland of an understory and they aren’t locking up carbon for long if they crop them. In addition, the UK imports loads of timber because most of the conifers planted over the last century have been managed poorly and don’t produce quality timber, and where they have been ( there is some really nice Douglas fir grown in Wales ), it tends to be more expensive than imported junk. There are truckloads of gorgeous native hardwoods currently being chipped for fuel, as they provide a better product.
This idiot is proposing wiping out Britains native fauna and flora so that a handful of polluters can offset their carbon usage , we’re planting trees we’r saints. Fuck right off.
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CMW,
Ours is not to reason why,
Ours is but to say, “Too high”
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SBT – the same shit science is being advocated here, with the idea that planting trees in open areas is the answer to climate change. There’s a reason wetlands and savannas aren’t woodlands and that’s because the conditions aren’t right for them. We’ve got huge problems here with Black Wattles and Eucalyptus imported from Australia that wreck the native soils – but are commercially attractive.
So, we have massive plantations of conifers and
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No idea what happened there!
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Eucalyptus that have replaced native forests but are environmentally destructive.
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Deebbe, one of my favourite places in your gorgeous country was around Tsitisikamma, amazing forest.
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It’s a magical part of the country. Almost literally.
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@El Rayo – unfortunately, when it comes to climate change mitigation, ‘short term shit’ is the only kind of shit we have. (though covid19 is doing more than many years of international hand-wringing).
My understanding is that on the current track, broadleaf woodlands won’t be viable in southern England any more. Short-term medicine to prevent that outcome might be worth a shot.
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No shit, and it’s amazing how quickly some areas are already recovering.
We need a massive rethink.
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Germany’s low coronavirus mortality rate intrigues experts
I have two theories on this:
1/ Germans are really bloody healthy, what with cycling everywhere.
2/ Covid-19 is vegetable-borne.
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They’ve got very good messaging on washing your hands:
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Sadly, the first Czech died today. A 95-year-old. Over 1,050 people have tested positive so far.
My student who was stuck in California got back after a long long journey home. She’s in quarantine for two weeks.
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Erm … reliable translation of that, please?
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BK, good to see you. The wood .
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thaum, “Wash your hands as you would if you’d just eaten chillies and wanted to masturbate” is pretty close.
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Listening to Leapling by Sound of Yell. It’s good.
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i believe that the er…..hun have done a great deal more testing than some other European countries so have a wider numbers base ………..BUT……..Angela Merkel is a suspected +ve……………
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hmm………in quarantine after her doctor tested positive
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Just listened to a good item on the radio about a gin distiller in Bristol who has turned his factory over to making hand sanitiser for the time being. He has no certification to sell it so is giving it away. Good man. Disappointingly nobody asked whether there was really any difference other than the hand sanitiser being stronger.
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Good to hear from BK, forestry is a subject close to my heart but I don’t know a whole lot about that specific topic.
Thaum, “No shit, and it’s amazing how quickly some areas are already recovering.”
I’d love to read some stuff on that if you have a linky-poo ?
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@Tomp – To be honest I do give some people out. On Sundays these are almost exclusively in the category of ‘played back when they should have played forward’. One thing I have enjoyed in the past is taking a step to one side to where the bowler would have seen the impact from and then still giving it not out, usually for missing leg stump though of course I’m not obliged to give a reason. The traditional conversation with the left arm over bowler is always fun as well.
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” if you have a linky-poo ”
Only ever gets asked in Scotland, traditionally the land of the square poo.
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…just chopped chillies and want to masturbate now.
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@Iks – no need to change your routine, just wash your hands like you always have.
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Deebs – never done Swedish meatballs now that I think about. I’d be more useful on the judging panel.
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Last day of unemployment. Slightly nervous about tomorrow but apparently no one is there apart from the pa.
Driving in too mainly due to the reduced services and the fact that I was planning to wear a mask and surgical gloves on the underground.
Weird times.
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@Craigs – what about chopping chillies and masturbating? Or would you be more use on the judging panel for that one too? I gather you already have the surgical gloves.
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“Slightly nervous about tomorrow but apparently no one is there apart from the pa.”
Who’s the daddy now?!
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I spent today making a desk from left over wood from various projects – the desktop is 18mm ply left over from a bed, the legs were from a long kitchen bench, with some struts from the bed the new one replaced.
It only for five days work, my wife’s last five days before she retires, it’s a bit weird this being the last Sunday, Sundays are always a bit fraught, the fact that this is the last one, the day we’ve been looking forward to for at least 100 Sundays, the current situation makes it all seem rather trivial.
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“the desktop is 18mm ply left over from a bed”
I also always seem to end up with a piece of that left over when I’ve assembled new beds for the kids.
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To be fair, sitka spruce plantations are quite unpleasant to walk through, and I didn’t actually read what was being proposed. But here in NZ the greenies and comfortably well-off lefties have been talking up the threat of climate change for years, and it just so happens that a third of our post1990 emissions have been offset by plantations, so govt thought we should do more of that. Its not a long term solution, just short term crisis management. In the face of a crisis. But suddenly these people seem to have decided that its NOT a crisis, and want to plant only much slower-growing native trees, (and presumably make our houses out of concrete and steel and import bog roll made from orangutan habitat).
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CMW – ‘what about chopping chillies and masturbating? ‘
I’m an old hand..
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It’s the team’s PA not mine. I’m not that important.
But I am The Daddy. Ohhhh yes.
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Spoke to my brother on the phone earlier who said that he and his family have been ill for a few weeks but are getting better. ‘Just really tired with a cough and sore throat.’
Good to know.
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@Craigs – the pa is the daddy by definition.
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Hey BK, how goes it?
Different story where you are, native forests logged out etc. You still have a major forest industry, and export a lot of timber, have seen the ships running out of Gisbourne. Lot more space too.
Obviously, it would have been ideal to have gone to selective continuous cover forestry with your native species ( which are more slow growing than ours ) before you got to a point where you had to cease logging of native species, but there is some mitigation now. Aside from that, you have far better growing conditions, and can produce useable timber in 20-25 years, of decent non native species. ( I do not include your main crop, radiata, as a decent species, it is really only worth making toilet paper out of ). You have 50 year old coastal redwoods the size of 150 year old ones in the UK.
The UK forestry industry is virtually extinct, and every time they throw in a new super tree, it is out of fashion by cropping time, and also usually lacks the snedding and thinning required to get decent timber. Also we ahve much less land to go spare, of much lower quality soilwise, so creating the desert of a conifer plantation at the expense of native species is daft. Also, long term studies tend to show that well managed native species in a mixed continuous cover environment actually produces higher yields in as little as 40 years in places like Tasmania and Vancouver.
Bad examples of non native species causing problems? Look only as far as California and NW Spain, where eucalyptus plantations have spread by themselves, and are major fire hazards. Ireland, poisoned water courses.
Ho hum, enough of that.
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There’s definitely more pressure on land in the UK, and there might be a lot more options to reduce UK emissions ( which are at least going down, unlike ours). Big afforestation projects with fast-growing trees are the equivalent of the covid lockdown tactic – doesn’t solve the main problem, causes a few others, but gives you some breathing space. You’d only consider it if the alternative is really, really bad.
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Also, you’re too rude about radiata. China has been flooded with 100 year old spruce from Europe – long, straight, fat logs, that have to sell at a discount because the buyers prefer the versatility of radiata, eg for plywood. (yes, the ply is just for concrete formwork, but there’s still a need for that – and pallets and cable drums and mdf etc.).
Meanwhile the guys came around today to mark out the place where the new garage will go, with concrete slab to be poured on Wednesday (radiata frame to follow, natch). That was just before we were given our national “48 hour to lockdown” warning. Might not be getting much back for our deposit now.
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Otherwise mostly all good here, and I hope everyone at notAod is able to get through the next weeks/months OK.
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I’m just about to learn that teaching primary school children while working full time is a doddle.
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Ticht – I was thinking of this, as well as the reports on the huge drop in pollution levels in China: https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2020/mar/20/nature-is-taking-back-venice-wildlife-returns-to-tourist-free-city
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