It started off so well: they said we made a perfect blog meet location. Historic Heidelberg, an Irish pub, Super Saturday. Three nations with a chance of vying for the title. Then the nasty wee bugger cancelled some matches, participants dropped off like superannuated flies, and – with 24 hours to go – the one remaining scheduled match was nixed.
Some of us, made of stronger stuff, were undaunted by the prospect of a pandemic along the lines of Stephen King’s The Stand. We, the strong, the proud, the possibly foolish: Boanova, DropTheClaw, Meades, Xan, the mister and me, and of course our noble, gracious and hard-working hosts, Mister and Missus Iks.
We’d all arrived by Friday evening, so got down to business immediately at Vetter’s. Boa and Xan had arrived a couple of days before, and had some important information to impart.
Boa and Xan’s Top Tourist Tip for Heidelberg: What Not to Visit
As every fule kno, Gurgle is your go-to site for local attractions. Imagine our heroes’ excitement when they found something called the Königstuhl. The King’s Stool! It must be an ancient throne (or something): off we go!
The way was long and weary, 13 km straight up a mountain, but our intrepid adventurers persevered, battling off trolls, Nazgûl, plagues of locusts and football fans. At last, weary and wiping the sweat from their brows, they reached the summit, and found … a construction site.
And a bus stop.
The Plans
Given that there was no rugby on the morrow, a discussion ensued on what to do. The decision was taken to meet at the Irish pub as planned, so the poor buggers had some business, footfall in pubs and restaurants being noticeably down.
MissusIks also promised to find a rugby ball. Our bits perked up.
The Big Day
We all congregated at The Dubliner, only two hours late, and obviously much hilarity ensued. Which shall mostly be hush-hush. But I have previously reported that some of the lads disappeared down an alley-way with the rugby ball, which subsequently suffered the sad fate pictured above. But it remained unpunctured, as you will see.
The next port of call was the Bar Centrale, which was sadly neglected by other customers, but which did serve the greatest G&T ever experienced, and also had a square opposite that was perfect for ball-wanging. It was an unfortunate pass that hit me in the face, bloodied my nose, and sent my glasses clattering to the floor. Fortunately the glasses were uninjured except for the imprint of the ball’s pattern on the lens, discovered in the morning.
Such is the stuff from where dreams are woven.
Then off to dinner, with an enormous bottle of wine courtesy of MissusIks.
Vowing to the rugby gods to return in happier – or at least, less contagious – times, we said our goodbyes.
Ovally Balls 
You feeling OK TomP?
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Feeling OK, he is.
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TomP is talking bollox. He’s infected with the cojones virus.
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Aye, Boaty McBoatface gets my dander up.
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karl
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Grumpy mcgrumpface
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Craig McCraigsface
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After all this time, I think we have found Tomp’s weakness.
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Whimsy I can enjoy. Whimsyface McWhimsyface is my kryptonite .
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Tompi McTompface
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No effect, craigs.
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Worth a try.
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Chimpie McChimpface. Iksy Mciksface.
The possibilities are endless!!!
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‘endless’
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I think I’m developing a nervous tic.
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We’re taking the number off our house and renaming it Housey McHouseface.
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Just need to get Thaum to rename OB now.
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Ovally Balls is whimsical. I can handle that. Ovally McBallsface would be all right as I’d know the reason behind the name change.
(I quite like McBallsface)
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Marsy McMarsface
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O’Vally McBallsface, shurely.
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Watched Life of Brian again last night. Realised a couple of things – the “I’m not” ISN’T after “You are all individuals” as I’d thought for years, but after “You are all different” instead. Also, Brian spends 90% of the time just running away.
Still bloody funny and their best film.
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Alright all. I did promise Thaum I’d put a piece together to cover the Heidelberg escapade, but I’ve been struggling with managing my son, working from home and general life/Covid shithousery to have done anything yet. But when I do get the chance, you’ll hear Not Eddie’s wrath. Hope you’re all well, up the Wesht, etc.
And a word re MisterIks and MrsIks – amazing hosts, sourcer of rugby ball (Karl) and general all round brilliant human being.
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Word up, Clawsy McClawsface.
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Great to see you back, Claw (even if it is only for a short while).
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Prince Charles has got the coronavirus, then. I hope that he develops no serious symptoms but if they should this should be the perfect opportunity to test how homeopathy would help in the treatment.
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This is a fun watch, it contains one of my favourite tries, scored by Andy Irvine who started the move in his own 22.
It also contains an outrageous dummy from Terry Holmes at the beginning of the decisive score
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Hey hey, hello Claw, great to “see” you here
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I always wanted one of those Scotland/Ireland shirts. Wasn’t there someone playing the ball off the floor at that last ruck? I suspect umpteen of those tries wouldn’t be allowed now due to various infringements, which isn’t necessarily a good thing.
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It’s like the Boroughmuir shirt.
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David Johnston was a lovely player.
I believe he was once on Hearts’ books.
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He was indeed Tam, he is in my all-time Edinburgh side, along with Scott Hastings in the centres
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Claw!!! How goes it matey?
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Clawsome.
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I’ve been stalking a bit lately, but not joining in. I hope all you UK lads and lasses in particular are OK, and the lockdown does not create too much stress, emotional, financial or otherwise, on you and your families.
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Lurking, Avs, lurking. Unless you’re telling us something.
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@TomP, yeah Gondwanaland. Think as Africans we should claim it all back. Bloody thieving Europeans, Asians, Americans and Australians. New Zealand still not on the map.
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New Zealand still not on the map.
We’d still kick your arse.
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Correct – lurking would have been a better choice……
Lurky McLurkface.
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All ok, Craigs, cheers for asking. Last time I had a pint, it was alongside Thaum; strange to think that it’ll be the last pint for some time. Who knows, that final 6Nations day mooted at the end of October may see us reconvening in Heidelberg once more, if only to see Boa in an FG shirt once more.
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Last pint for some time?
Need to get some supplies in, claw
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There’s pints and there’s pints, Chimpie. Not one for drinking at home, me. Pints in company, however, is a different ballgame.
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Fairy nuff. Does it have to be in physical company?
Been talk of doing virtual pub cwises and the like in some circles round here.
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We’d still kick your arse.
If you could make it to a Final.
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Shame the final was cancelled.
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This one?
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The semi-final was England’s final.
Getting a 20-point battering in the Big Game showed it was a step too far for them. Credit to New Zealand for being able to score a try against SA.
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Claw – it’s weird with the pubs closed. Almost as though civilisation has collapsed. Although, I don’t mind drinking at home.
It would have been nice to have made the trip but a few months of unemployment saw to that.
I’ll try to make the October trip, money won’t be as scarce then.
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My mum and dad did a virtual pub with some friends a few days ago.
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Deebs – no, not that one.
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