“No one would have believed, in the last years of the nineteenth century, that human affairs were being watched from the timeless worlds of space.
“No one could have dreamed we were being scrutinised, as someone with a microscope studies creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. Few men even considered the possibility of life on other planets and yet, across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded this Earth with envious eyes, and slowly and surely, they drew their plans against us.“
When HG Wells penned his novel, The War of the Worlds, he envisaged a threat from without; a Martian invasion bringing mankind low, routing civilisation by use of advanced technology. Ultimately, mankind’s fate rested on an invisible ally, earthly pathogens doing what humanity could not and laying waste to all those Martian plans. HG Wells may well not have envisaged that renowned thespian, rugby fan and bon viveur, Richard Burton, would narrate Wells’ words to Jeff Wayne’s epic music less than a century later, but the suspicion is that he could not have predicted that those same earth-liberating pathogens, filtered through the lens of the humble pangolin and crepuscular bat, would turn their powers against us.
And yet, your humble reporter found himself setting forth to Heidelberg, the foreboding cloud of Covid-19 only beginning to make its presence felt, hindsight allowing that valour was most definitely the better part of discretion on this occasion. We came together, a pack of eight, and though we may not have looked quite the beefy, gnarled and grizzly part that number usually represents – can one grizzle in a scarf? – but over the course of two nights we put in a shift of ale-drinking an international pack would be proud of.
To Vetter’s, and our pack was drawn together in a local brewery serving dunkelbiers and plates of meat and sautéed potatoes stacked perilously high. Serious discussion took place as to what a group of rugby-loving bloggites would do now that two of the three final-day 6 Nations matches were postponed; the news that two postponements were now three only served to harden our resolve: we, the good people of AOD, would have a good time. And that is exactly what your intrepid reporter did – a foray to the Drugstore, a speakeasy where the schnapps was fast and the talk was faster; bonded by our common purpose and strengthened in the face of adversity. This reporter staggered back to his humble abode at a relatively sane hour, leaving an unnamed few to head off to a subterranean nightclub aptly called The Cave, and, much like Joe Marler, they were went on down to see what mischief they could cause, and, again like Marler, they could happily take a ban – it would have little consequence in this day and age.
The dawn of a second day, then, and a stroll along Heidelberg’s Hauptstraße served to emphasise the impact Coronavirus was having – not a single soul was seen for some hours. But as the day drew on and venues opened, this reporter was joined by Meades, emerging from the morning’s Stygian gloom like Roland Bertranne, cutting a dash in Yorkshire brogues and dazzling white trews that even the ranks of Tuscany could scarce forbear to cheer. The obligatory cultural touristic opportunities were availed upon; a trip to a wonderful bookstore where this reporter picked up a small piece by Wells contemporary Mark Twain, on his trip through Heidelberg by means of raft; a handy comparator for our own weekend, perhaps. Joined subsequently by Boanova (worryingly sporting a Leinster jersey) and SoYouThinkYou’reaWaffleman (equally worryingly, wearing a Munster top), gelatos were consumed, coffees were discussed and downed, and impressively steep hikes were had.
Sufficiently exercised, and in need of strong libation, we repaired to the venue-that-was-to-be-the-venue, The Dubliner. Joining Thaum and Mr Thaum, talk turned to our common love of rugby, and arms were chanced by suggesting to staff that they avail of YouTube’s wealthy repository of rugby matches for us all to enjoy, given the absence of any matches. Sadly, even Iks’ eloquent pleas fell on deaf ears, and instead we set about reviewing the season that never ended, remarking on standout players (Stuart McCloskey appears to have Thaum on a retainer for PR work*), and into the gap where our attention would have usually fallen, stories were exchanged, witticisms were slung and the occasional train refund form was completed. But that is another story for another time.
As Thaum has already elaborated, we moved on the Bar Centrale and thence to its restaurant neighbour Dorfschaenke, for pleasingly filling food and even more pleasingly outsized wine bottles. As the night began to wind down, several of our pack went separate ways; Thaum and Mr Thaum returned to the Bar Centrale to investigate the gin options, MrsIks went home to rest her weary hosting head, Boa had hit his limits and made good his escape. A round of beer and schnapps, and we remaining few parted ways, handshakes, hugs and backslaps abound.
And, in it all, Wells prose kept returning to my mind; MisterIks as the astronomer Ogilvy, assuring us that the chances of anyone getting a fine, were a million to one; only to then explain that for feeding ducks, he was served a 55 euro penalty notice (he still has no regrets and post-lockdown will continue his campaign in the face of teutonic adversity); SoYouThinkYou’reaWaffleman as Wells’ artilleryman, slowly losing his sanity as his left-handed passing fell to pieces and suggesting that a return to that subterranean life in The Cave may be the best solution for humanity; and the sight of Boa stood atop the Thingstätte, an arena built in Nazi-era Germany, dressed all in black whilst wearing a Leinster jersey, is one which will live long in the memory, if only for the nexus of humorous corollaries it brings together. And through it all, through the fantastic hosts, the pints, the ball-throwing and the brilliant company, there was the sense that from the madness, something beautiful had grown, or rather, something we had all known had been reinforced; that our blog-meets are something to be cherished. Not so much a case of à la recherche du temps perdu, more a case of à la prochaîne.
But the boss don’t like these dizzy heights
We’re busted in the blinding lights
Of closing time
As experienced by DropTheClaw.
Ovally Balls 
@tomp
Preston seems to think he’s the heir to Paxman, forgetting that a) Paxo did his homework and b) he also got it wrong sometimes.
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*Peston not Preston
this is Preston’s best bit:
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OT, Does Peston do pieces to camera for the news nowadays? I see he’s got a talk show or something. And blogs for the ITV website, of course, and the Spectator columns and the twitter. He’s also extremely gullible.
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Beeb’s just done a lovely segment on Bill Withers. What a voice.
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It’s not all travelling to Mars, then:
https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/us-news/woman-admits-sex-dolphin-part-21788668
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@tomp
I have no idea what he does these days. It’s obvious he’s gullible – on that segment where he things he’s got the Deputy CMO skewered he’s obviously been told summat about testing that’s wrong but he’s fallen for it hook, line and sinker. He’s not alone. Earlier this week Paul Mason retweeted a Momentum post with a clip from a BBC newsreader voicing her utter incredulity that the ventilator consortium would this weekend deliver only, ONLY, 30 ventilators manufactured from scratch. The arrogance of all those involved from the newsreader through to Mason as they sneer at the initial number is pathetic. They forget hundreds will be delivered next week. And after that etc.
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“I was wading upstream so couldn’t offer any assistance.”
My life story, right there.
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Peston just underlines a bigger problem about how interviews are conducted on telly these days. No listening, no follow up questions, just pre-planned aggressive questions batted back by prepared avoidance, laborious messaging, and repetition. Like 2 planes on different flight paths.
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@iksy
That’s completely correct. Although in this case the guy was trying to explain in detail why Peston was wrong but kept getting interrupted cos Pesto’s ego couldn’t face it.
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I don’t think it’s arrogance, OT. I think it’s people wanting the ventilators yesterday or last week. When you’ve just heard that more than 400 people have died in a day, then 30 does seem a small number.
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@tomp
There’s no shortage of ventilators right now. Any shortage may appear in a few weeks. Look at the pictures from the Nightingale Hospital – there are rows and rows of unused Penlon ventilators lying there and they will get used first.
The tone of that newsreader is deeply ignorant – “it appears a small number”. No it fucking doesn’t – a bunch of car and aircraft manufacturers have delivered 30 legally compliant Class II medical devices in just over a fortnight. And with their capacity will do thousands more in the coming weeks. You don’t manufacture a complex safety critical product at rate straight away. You make sure you meet the spec first and then ramp up the speed. But she wouldn’t know that, although that doesn’t stop her voicing an opinion on the competence of the engineers making the stuff.
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Does she voice an opinion on the competence of the engineers?
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It might not be a bad idea to do a bit of PR there, OT. How about taking a pic of a large pile of the raw materials needed for one machine and sending it too her. ask her if she thinks she could make one that quick.
Unfortunately, as discussed over the last few posts and recently, social media and now news reporting seems to be changing somewhat. Facts seem less important than opinions, and a nod and a wink by an ill informed but photogenic ( or social media genic, or whatever the word is) fool can sway the opinions of millions of gullible people.
Can’t remember exactly what the guy said, but when I was over visiting my mum and dad in the UK a few weeks back,one of the newsreaders finished up the news with one of those shortened verb instead of a sentence sentences that would sound stupid coming out of the mouth of a 13 year old with their baseball cap on backwards, let alone a 40 something BBC news reader. Thought my 90 year old dad was going to have a coronary right there.
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Anyone wanting to take their mind off things for a wee while, the Scotland vs Ireland game from 2017 is here:
Wonder if ROG has got over this yet?
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Good half from Scotland. Could have put it beyond any doubt if they hadn’t thrown the interception at the end there…
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Finn’s had to go off ‘to gather his thoughts’. Can’t think any good will come of that.
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Thoughts gathered and he’s back on. Lovely kick from Duncy Weir just before they swap back.
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Wonder how many points Maitland has saved us over the years. A really good defensive player as well as a good (but Treacly) try scorer as well.
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Heroic stuff from Maitland in the second half.
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Scotland second favourites at this point.
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All the talk will be now about how many Scottish Lions we could have, says POC at the end. As few as I can get away with, thinks Gats.
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Great effort to guts out the win. Exciting times for those of us with a Scotland Grand Slam betting slip in our pockets. And as the commentator said: “All the talk now will be of how many Scottish Lions we’re going to have”.
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BB pouncing for the kill there after letting me dominate possession for most of the game. Very appropriate.
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To be fair to Gats and POC I have a feeling there’s a game from later in the tournament that wouldn’t have anyone asking that question in the same way.
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This time next year, CMW, we’ll be millionaires.
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Do you mean Scotland going to Twickenham and getting gubbed, or England going to Dublin (on the cusp of a second Grand Slam AND a record number of wins) and losing? Maybe the pressure got to them…..
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No Scottish police on the streets of Dublin so the Irish bus got to the Aviva with plenty of time to spare.
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Scot v Ire game as posted by the Prog King is not available here in the EU.
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That was a really good game, better than I remembered. I think I thought at the time that Ireland had themselves to blame and should really have won, but watching it again it’s a better Scotland performance than I thought. The most impressive thing was that they did manage to turn it around at the end after soaking all that up though the tries in the first half were nice too.
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I think it’s available here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jInsIwf43H8
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Urgh TomP, that link just takes you to an English romp. These are trying times, for goodness sake!
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@Tomp – I’m with you by the way – France-Wales ’99 was a better match than the Wales-England game. As was France-Wales 2001 for that matter. The Scott Gibbs game had a much bigger effect on my life though as it was the start of several of my closest friendships and gave me somewhere to live for the following six years.
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Maitland to either Glasgow or Embra, apparently
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I first saw Maitland as a Crusaders player, before it became known that he was Scottish-qualified. I thought he was a lovely runner who had an enormous stride that just ate up the ground and he seemed to glide past players who looked like they were standing still.
My one criticism of him when he came to Glasgow was that he, for some reason, seemed to lack a bit of confidence and wouldn’t just pin his ears back and go for the outside break. He looked to be a different player for Glasgow and Scotland than he was in that All Blacks (slightly) light side that was Canterbury at that time, more cautious but also a very canny player who very seldom made the wrong decision.
The Treacle thing comes from one Aussie lock not keeping up with him for 20m, and it’s a laugh and all that, but Maitland is a seriously under-rated player, imo
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Maitland is indeed a fine player. A double Lion?
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Only 2013 then, oops.
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Looking at Glasgow’s back 3 options for this season, I think Maitland would be a very good signing for us (I know, I would say that…). He’s way better than any of the players we have at fullback (and I know he’s not a regular there, but he’s better than Bryce, Jackson and Seymour who have played there this season). I think DTH is leaving, but he’s not the player he was, so he could replace him.
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Treacle toes is a top, top player. Suspect Glasgow are in greater need currently but wouldn’t object if he came to embra.
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If Maitland comes to Glasgow and with Big Richie coming back (and Leone perhaps staying on) that will really push the average age of the squad down…..
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Maitland’s good, not a World XV player but just a really good rugby player. He’ll be 32 by the next time he plays so not much time left.
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While Premier League footballers debate if it is right to continue getting paid top whack while their staff are furloughed Essex CCC players are ringing round members aged over 70 for a chat
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That’s a good initiative from Essex CCC, OT. It’s also a way to ensure one of their income streams continues.
David de Gea is an example of a footballer who has done something worthwhile.
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CMW,
The England game was too close/nerve-wracking to be my favourite ever. The France one was a delight because it was on my birthday, we got locked into a pub to protect us from West Ham fans returning and it was so completely unexpected.
My favourite games probably don’t even involve Wales because I get too wound up watching them. I said this on AoD when we beat South Africa in 2014 in Cardiff. There was about 10 minutes left and from my position on the couch I was moaning and griping about something and my missus, who has no interest in rugby, asked, “What’s wrong? Are you losing?” My answer was, “No, it’s worse than that. We’re winning.”
That’s why I liked living in SA and going to watch games. I wanted the local sides to win but didn’t really have much of an emotional investment. It’s even better going to watch amateur rugby in Prague as I really have no allegiance except for anti-Sparta.
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I just received an excited phone call from my mate Dave who lives in Altrincham. He’s just out on a walk with his lad and someone held the gate open for him. It was Jimmy Anderson. I was excited by the news.
I told my boys. They were also excited.
I told my missus. She was the most excited of us all.
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I’m excited too!
Who’s Jimmy Anderson?
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This is amazingly depressing
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/apr/04/america-rightwing-christian-preachers-virus-hoax
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Dave from Altrincham? Prick!
Day 9 of lockdown here. Day 4 of solid fucking rain. Dogs are losing the plot, as is Mrs Deebee. I’m the sole voice of reason and beacon of fucking sanity in the place. I’m a hero. I’ll be back just now. Have to go and mark my territory on the couch that the bloody pug is trying to annex. Prick!
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Deebee – one of my guilty pleasures is Gogglebox; don’t know if you can get it in SA? There was a section on dog yoga during lock-down yesterday that was very amusing.
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