“Peter! Susan!” cried Lucy, “Edmund has been to Narnia too now, and he can tell you all about it!”
“Edmund – is this true?” asked Peter.
Edmund shuffled his feet in a shifty sort of way. “Ah no, we were just playing a game about her imaginary country, Peter. We had fantasy Narnian Lions v British & Irish Lions teams.”
Lucy turned pale, and ran out of the room.
Peter was very angry with Edmund for encouraging Lucy in her apparent silliness. Susan, also concerned, scowled at Edmund. Such a scowl he had never seen before, barring seeing Peter O’Mahoney once, and he also left the room.
“Peter,” said Susan, earnestly, “I think we should speak to the Professor. Lucy is going mad.”
* * *
“Bless me, me bairns,” said the Professor, taking off his glasses and wiping them, “Whatever makes you think that Lucy is mad?”
“But … but … Professor, we have told you about her imaginary country and Lions,” gasped Susan.
“Have you ever known Lucy to tell lies before?”
“Well … no,” admitted Peter, “She’s always been particularly truthful. That’s why we fear for her sanity.”
“The young lassie seems very sane to me, and we’ve established that she doesn’t tell lies. Perhaps she is telling the truth, hmm?” answered the Professor. “There are more things in space and time than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”
As soon as the children had closed his study door, the Professor took a favourite memento out of his drawer, and stroked it absently. “Thank ye, Karlus, for the Narnian Lions medal,” he whispered to himself.
* * *
Things rumbled on for another week or so, with Lucy morose, Edmund gloating in a sulky sort of way, and Peter and Susan concerned.
Another wet day ensued, and the housekeeper, Mrs Weir, was showing another lot of visitors around the house. This was really a bit naughty, but they were all doing their best to maintain social distancing, which made it even harder to dodge the party.
No matter which way the children went, there seemed to be visitors wearing face-masks heading in their direction, and they were inexorably pushed towards the dusty gym. Assembled inside, they could hear voices approaching. It was as if some magic were pressing them into a hiding-place in the gym.
“All right, Lucy,” said Peter, “Show us where to go.”
Lucy pulled open the rustiest locker with the Lions shirts, and led them inside. Soon they found themselves gazing at snow-covered conifers.
They wandered around in amazement.
“I say,” said Edmund presently, “If we’re heading for the lamp-post, we should be going that-a-way.”
Peter and Susan stopped dead in their tracks.
“So you have been here before!” said Peter. “You absolute rotter. You bounder and cad. You … you Saracens fan, you!”
“Lucy,” said Susan, “I do apologise.”
“That’s all right,” replied Lucy. “Let’s go and see Mr Iknus.”
* * *
Lucy led them towards Mr Iknus’ cave, but as they neared its entrance, she gasped in dismay. The door was wrenched off its hinges. She spotted something white, and rushed forward.
There was a note pinned to the door.
To Whom It May Concern,
The Traitor Iknus has been arrested by the order of the Queen of Narnia for fomenting rugby enthusiasm against Her Majesty’s express wishes.
Any fellow enthusiasts will also be hunted down and arrested.
Signed,
Maugrim
Chief of Her Majesty’s Very Secret Police
* * *
As Lucy stared, dumbfounded, at the notice, Peter caught a flash of movement out of the corner of his eye.
“Oh Peter, Susan, Edmund,” wailed Lucy, “We must help Mr Iknus! It is probably my fault that he was caught!” She explained to the others all about Daughters of Maeve.
“That’s odd,” said Susan, “My mother’s name is Maeve too. I’m not sure why, because she is from the Valleys.”
“Well, my mother’s name isn’t Maeve,” said Peter. “It’s Eve, and my Dad’s George. But he’s always called Hamish on account of being born in Glasgow.”
Edmund’s eyes boggled.
* * *
Mr Beaver burst out of the undergrowth.
“Two Daughters of Maeve and two Sons of George, upon my word!” he cried.
The children all took a step back, because they had never seen a large Talking beaver before, and were a little surprised. But they were soon reassured by his smooth patter (“Call me Clyde”), and gratefully accepted the invitation to his lodge for tea, because they were getting right peckish.
“Shh!” said Mr Beaver, putting his paw to his teeth, “We must be very quiet and careful. The Witch’s spies are everywhere.”
They all crept cautiously after him through the forest until they came to the river, and scurried into the lodge under the cover of the fallen darkness. To their delight, Mrs Beaver, who didn’t seem at all surprised to see them, was just laying out a large feast, and they all tucked in heartily, along with the three Beavlets. (The Middle One occasionally made some disturbing pronouncements, but not disturbing enough to put them off their food. They were very hungry.)
As they all pushed back from the table, replete, Mr Beaver lit a fag, which he sucked through his teeth.
“Please, Clyde,” said Lucy, “tell us what you know of Mr Iknus!”
“Ah, my dear,” sighed Mr Beaver, “That’s a very bad business.
“We last saw him being taken by the Witch’s Secret Police towards her castle. Few who enter those gates come out again. They say that the whole castle is furnished with statues – but these statues are Narnians who have been turned to stone by the Witch’s evil spells. Some of them are even Narnian Lions.
“But there is a prophecy in Narnia that when two Daughters of Maeve and two Sons of George sit on the High Thrones of Cair Paravel, then we shall be freed. And lo, we hear that our true ruler – the great Narnian Lions Captain Paulan – is on the move from his long exile, and we shall meet him tomorrow at the Stone Stadium.”
Unnoticed by everyone else, Edmund had sneaked away to find the Witch’s castle.
Ovally Balls 
Lovely stuff Thaum. Poor old Iknus.
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In a continuation from the previous blog…
Hadn’t realised Depeche Mode had done a version of Heroes. Rather like it (and pleasantly surprised that I do).
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Thank you kindly, BB. I will probably regret this tomorrow at 6 am when I have to get up, but what the hell.
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Diagnosing and fixing bad server configurations is fun in its own way, but best done on a clear head … oops!
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Hope we are going to get the whole book, Thaum. Not sure where its going, but I need to find out.Hope head OK tomorrow. Keep up the good work.
Did someone mention Slade ?
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Last concert I saw before lockdown was Aldous Huxley and band. She’s great – figured out early in her career that if she just did the sort of stuff that she found interesting, there might be others who would enjoy it and there would definitely be plenty who’d hate it, but fuck them – no shortage of bands out there willing to cater to those people. Kind of punk rock really.
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Great stuff, Thaum, thanks.
I saw Slade once and they were really good, especially the bass player who did a Hendrix cover on the violin – seriously he was terrific.
BB, and others, I just read that Pink Floyd are showing concerts and previously unseen footage on their youtube channel, starting tonight with a gig from 1995, it’s a concert film called Pulse, which you probably know all about, I haven’t really followed Floyd since the Wall album, so it’s all news to me.
“The first such release is Pulse, Pink Floyd’s 1995 concert film. The 22-song set documents “The Division Bell Tour”, filmed at London’s now-defunct Earls Court during the band’s record-breaking 14-night residency. Of particular note is the inclusion of the first-ever film recording of Pink Floyd playing The Dark Side of the Moon in full. Mixed in 5.1 surround sound and digitally re-mastered by James Guthrie, Pulse also includes some of original screen films used for the 1970s concert performances of The Dark Side of the Moon (which were never filmed) as well as the visual components for the piece which were remade for the 1994 tour.
Pulse will stream for free on Pink Floyd’s YouTube channel beginning Friday, April 17th at 12:00 p.m. EDT.”
I think 12pm EDT is 5pm here in BST
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Thanks Ticht, I’ll watch out for that. I have the concert on CD, and I’ve seen various tracks on YouTube, but not the whole concert. The version of Comfortably Numb on that is just outstanding.
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So, in a sliding doors alternate Novid 19 world, Edinburgh are away to Ulster this weekend, having won both our games in South Africa and beaten Benetton at Murrayfield.
Belfast isn’t an easy venue for any away side, but Edinburgh are boosted by the return of the unlikely winners of this year’s six nations, two BP wins having secured the title and we have extended our league at the top of the log when Munster fell to the Legends last week, and at Thomond Park to boot. Yos was of course delighted and has been waxing lyrical all week over a genuinely great display from his lads.
So, Embra 23.
Sutherland, McInally, Nel, Gilchrist, Toolis, Ritchie, Watson, Mata
Shiel, van der Walt, van der Merwe, Scott, Bennett, Graham, Kinghorn
Schoeman, Fenton, Berghan, Carmichael, Crosbie, Pyrgos, Taylor, Hickey
Sutherland got Player of the Tournament in the 6N and so has cemented his starting position in the team, Carmichael, Fenton, Crosbie and Shiel have really stepped up in the last few weeks, it won’t be too long before these young lads are causing Toonie headaches in his squad selection, Luke Crosbie’s triple hattrick of tries three games in a row has set the heather alight, so we travel to Norn Irn with some confidence, especially after Ulster’s heavy defeat at Dave Parade last week.
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That last bit was for Iks
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SBT, your Slade link (awesome as it is) gave me this gem afterwards. WARNING: If you’re a sensitive England fan, don’t watch. I’ve never watched the Squidge analysis before, but he has to be one of the most insightful and knowledgeable pundits around. I’d pay to watch this instead of the rubbish dished up in the studios every weekend. Nor only brilliant analysis, but the humour too – sometimes brutal, like when he described a pass by Jamie George as being so bad, “you’d you’d think he’s England’s starting scrumhalf.” Ouch. Will definitely follow him from now on.
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Thaum – another gem from your side too. Are you and Squidge related?
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Good news, Deebee. You can give Squidge some money: https://www.patreon.com/SquidgeRugby
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Deebee – not that I’m aware of, but perhaps Squidge isn’t his real name.
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@deebee
Have to say I’d not listened to anything by Squidge before – but there’s some interesting stuff in there. (I’ve veered away because I’d be afraid if I started on Squidge I’d be mainlining TRK plus the other podcasts and online analysts)
Still the midfield maul is an interesting one – we did manage a line out maul from about 10 metres out in one game – awesome it was…. threw directly at 2 and drove forward – sucked in defenders and a couple of recycles later our TH goes over untouched (not sure why I’m saying “we” – the lads called themselves)
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Great stuff Thaum – a lockdown heroine for sure.
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Speaking of Depeche Mode and covers, I love this Johnny Cash version of Personal Jesus – the piano riff makes it.
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There’s a Guardian article about what is actually my favourite game. Someone put this up BTL and it’s rather wonderful in all sorts of ways:
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Loved the ATL Thaum. Pleased to see I got the part after all those auditions.
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Sadly can’t share it with the beavlets as Mr Beaver’s bad habit is off limits for discussion. Could print it off and redact it I suppose…
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Oui,Oui,Oui.
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Trisk – chuckled at his crediting Munster for the midfield maul. But then again, maybe it’s true?
Avs – that Cash version is da boss! But then most of Cash’s music is peerless. From my fairly limited exposure.
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Ah, brass bands, toe-kicker boots…… That ball looked like it weighed about 20 pounds.
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Which makes the drop goal even more magnificent.
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Considering some of the average goal kicking on display, that drop kick was a thing of beauty.
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great film – thought the final pass for the first NZ try looked dodgy. Great counter-attacking play by France though.
Most recognisable player is – as ever – Rives….
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not to mention the two knock ons before the forward pass.
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https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.gettyimages.dk%2Fdetail%2Fnews-photo%2Fjean-pierre-rives-nicknamed-casque-dor-from-france-with-a-news-photo%2F685190933&psig=AOvVaw03gV_Ccs97qSblGIX6AGXE&ust=1587225435722000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCKDh59vp7-gCFQAAAAAdAAAAABAD
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Thats supposed to be an iconic image of Rives .
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Yes, you have to imagine the ref thought one of them was a kick, but it looks like he just dropped it on the ground. It’s old rugby though and lots of the tries ‘should’ have been disallowed.
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That was on a 100 Years of All Black Rugby video we had when I was a kid. That had the NZ commentary. I love the way Keith Quinn says “Magnifique”.
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Squidge is easily one of the best rugby analysts out there. Got himself a semi-regular spot on ScrumV, before all the sport stopped.
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Refit, I couldn’t agree more. He picked up things that the studio wonks still haven’t, six months later.
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Watching The Highwaymen live on Youchoob. Sorry Thaum, they’re brilliant. Willie Nelson, Kris Kristoffersen, Waylon Jennings and Johnny Cash.
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Tonight’s rugby viewing is an interesting little game…
Wonder who won?
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There is sporr on, of course. Darts, for instance. Not running that smoothly, mind.
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This will actually be the first time I’ve seen the whole game. On the day itself I was dragooned into going with Mrs BB to some family ‘do’. Needless to say, the other two sons-in-law weren’t there. I kept popping into the living room to watch bits of the game. By the end, everybody was in watching it, my mum-in-law (who hates all sport with a passion) was yelling “Tackle him!” and getting rather excited.
I’ve just about forgiven Mrs BB for that….
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Just because:
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Two of South Africa’s best artists. Here Karen Zoid paying tribute to Madiba:
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100 crowns is 3 and a bit quid.
https://www.radio.cz/en/section/curraffrs/save-the-pub-thousands-of-czechs-buy-vouchers-to-keep-favourite-haunts-afloat
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One of my favourites:
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@deebee
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Deebee, this is a South African great:
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God, that’s good soulful music.
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Well, I think that was a game remembered more for the occasion and the result than the actual match itself. Must have been about 30 scrums (all of which took less time than 4 or 5 do in a match nowadays).
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I’ll always remember it fondly, BB. Scotland were a very good side at the time. And the Stanger try is very nice. Plus, England.
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BB, have they shown up either of the wins in Paris – ’95 or ’99 ? I’d love to watch either again as both were very good Scottish performances.
This one’s an epic. Properly feels as if there’s everything on the line. And two superb teams.
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@BB – I’ve never seen the whole game before either. Seem to remember I was at a brass band contest in Swansea and caught a bit of it on the radio on the way back.
Just watched the first half and it’s certainly been scrappy though the England try was a good one. Scotland maybe got away with it a bit in that period when they defended all those scrums on their line. They had a really good opening 10-15 minutes themselves though. Anyway it’s all been worth it for Bill McLaren’s description of Chalmers’ wobbly penalty – “It looked so inebriated as it went over you would have thought it would have keeled over”.
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Or was I rehearsing with an orchestra in the Great Hall in Aberystwyth? One was the 1990 game and the other was the 1991 match with the Saint-Andre try, all mixed up now. Don’t even know if I could have watched either game in Wales, when did they stop playing both games at the same time?
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