“Peter! Susan!” cried Lucy, “Edmund has been to Narnia too now, and he can tell you all about it!”
“Edmund – is this true?” asked Peter.
Edmund shuffled his feet in a shifty sort of way. “Ah no, we were just playing a game about her imaginary country, Peter. We had fantasy Narnian Lions v British & Irish Lions teams.”
Lucy turned pale, and ran out of the room.
Peter was very angry with Edmund for encouraging Lucy in her apparent silliness. Susan, also concerned, scowled at Edmund. Such a scowl he had never seen before, barring seeing Peter O’Mahoney once, and he also left the room.
“Peter,” said Susan, earnestly, “I think we should speak to the Professor. Lucy is going mad.”
* * *
“Bless me, me bairns,” said the Professor, taking off his glasses and wiping them, “Whatever makes you think that Lucy is mad?”
“But … but … Professor, we have told you about her imaginary country and Lions,” gasped Susan.
“Have you ever known Lucy to tell lies before?”
“Well … no,” admitted Peter, “She’s always been particularly truthful. That’s why we fear for her sanity.”
“The young lassie seems very sane to me, and we’ve established that she doesn’t tell lies. Perhaps she is telling the truth, hmm?” answered the Professor. “There are more things in space and time than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”
As soon as the children had closed his study door, the Professor took a favourite memento out of his drawer, and stroked it absently. “Thank ye, Karlus, for the Narnian Lions medal,” he whispered to himself.
* * *
Things rumbled on for another week or so, with Lucy morose, Edmund gloating in a sulky sort of way, and Peter and Susan concerned.
Another wet day ensued, and the housekeeper, Mrs Weir, was showing another lot of visitors around the house. This was really a bit naughty, but they were all doing their best to maintain social distancing, which made it even harder to dodge the party.
No matter which way the children went, there seemed to be visitors wearing face-masks heading in their direction, and they were inexorably pushed towards the dusty gym. Assembled inside, they could hear voices approaching. It was as if some magic were pressing them into a hiding-place in the gym.
“All right, Lucy,” said Peter, “Show us where to go.”
Lucy pulled open the rustiest locker with the Lions shirts, and led them inside. Soon they found themselves gazing at snow-covered conifers.
They wandered around in amazement.
“I say,” said Edmund presently, “If we’re heading for the lamp-post, we should be going that-a-way.”
Peter and Susan stopped dead in their tracks.
“So you have been here before!” said Peter. “You absolute rotter. You bounder and cad. You … you Saracens fan, you!”
“Lucy,” said Susan, “I do apologise.”
“That’s all right,” replied Lucy. “Let’s go and see Mr Iknus.”
* * *
Lucy led them towards Mr Iknus’ cave, but as they neared its entrance, she gasped in dismay. The door was wrenched off its hinges. She spotted something white, and rushed forward.
There was a note pinned to the door.
To Whom It May Concern,
The Traitor Iknus has been arrested by the order of the Queen of Narnia for fomenting rugby enthusiasm against Her Majesty’s express wishes.
Any fellow enthusiasts will also be hunted down and arrested.
Signed,
Maugrim
Chief of Her Majesty’s Very Secret Police
* * *
As Lucy stared, dumbfounded, at the notice, Peter caught a flash of movement out of the corner of his eye.
“Oh Peter, Susan, Edmund,” wailed Lucy, “We must help Mr Iknus! It is probably my fault that he was caught!” She explained to the others all about Daughters of Maeve.
“That’s odd,” said Susan, “My mother’s name is Maeve too. I’m not sure why, because she is from the Valleys.”
“Well, my mother’s name isn’t Maeve,” said Peter. “It’s Eve, and my Dad’s George. But he’s always called Hamish on account of being born in Glasgow.”
Edmund’s eyes boggled.
* * *
Mr Beaver burst out of the undergrowth.
“Two Daughters of Maeve and two Sons of George, upon my word!” he cried.
The children all took a step back, because they had never seen a large Talking beaver before, and were a little surprised. But they were soon reassured by his smooth patter (“Call me Clyde”), and gratefully accepted the invitation to his lodge for tea, because they were getting right peckish.
“Shh!” said Mr Beaver, putting his paw to his teeth, “We must be very quiet and careful. The Witch’s spies are everywhere.”
They all crept cautiously after him through the forest until they came to the river, and scurried into the lodge under the cover of the fallen darkness. To their delight, Mrs Beaver, who didn’t seem at all surprised to see them, was just laying out a large feast, and they all tucked in heartily, along with the three Beavlets. (The Middle One occasionally made some disturbing pronouncements, but not disturbing enough to put them off their food. They were very hungry.)
As they all pushed back from the table, replete, Mr Beaver lit a fag, which he sucked through his teeth.
“Please, Clyde,” said Lucy, “tell us what you know of Mr Iknus!”
“Ah, my dear,” sighed Mr Beaver, “That’s a very bad business.
“We last saw him being taken by the Witch’s Secret Police towards her castle. Few who enter those gates come out again. They say that the whole castle is furnished with statues – but these statues are Narnians who have been turned to stone by the Witch’s evil spells. Some of them are even Narnian Lions.
“But there is a prophecy in Narnia that when two Daughters of Maeve and two Sons of George sit on the High Thrones of Cair Paravel, then we shall be freed. And lo, we hear that our true ruler – the great Narnian Lions Captain Paulan – is on the move from his long exile, and we shall meet him tomorrow at the Stone Stadium.”
Unnoticed by everyone else, Edmund had sneaked away to find the Witch’s castle.
Ovally Balls 
It took a while to get over having read that enough to be able to write it.
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https://index.rugbypass.com/rpi/all/all/all/7-days/high-to-low/players/
Did anyone else check out the teams version? Not looking good for LADOAB’s boys.
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So I guess that Prof Whitty all but confirmed what we all new last night by saying that social distancing, and therefore a lack lack of rugby, will continue for the rest of the year.
Not the worst thing to happen, but it really does suck baws.
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@craigs
If you look at what he said he was very ambiguous. He said “some form of social distancing” will still be in place at the end of the year. So it might be limited to locking up old folk. The main point of his statement was to temper expectations about a vaccine.
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OT – I took it to mean that any kind of crowd gathering (I.e. In a stadium) wouldn’t be allowed. Unless I am being pessimistic.
They could play in empty stadiums I suppose.
Am I wrong? You seem to be closer to this than most.
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I don’t think anyone knows at the moment which is why they are being very ambiguous in their language so a wide range of scenarios are still possible.
Their deliberate caution on public messaging is clear if you look at the number of daily Covid-19 cases entering hospital. It obviously peaked around 8th April but they will only go as far as saying the curve is ‘flattening’.
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‘she’s also said that she’d rather die than have a Covid-19 vaccine.’
That’ll learn Big Pharma good’n’proper
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Surely all one needs to counteract those bad wavelengths from 5G vibrating your cells inna bad way is a nice crystal to send out some positive wavelengths and form like a vibrational shield
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Am missing rugby, but not going to go as far as saying it’s more important than living.
Seems to be quite a high priority placed in getting the AFL going again in Oz.
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All part of the plan for world domination I s’pose
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Where are your priorities Chimpie? I remember when pro talked about prioritising tls over the 6ns and we mocked him then.
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At least we’re not being volunteered as ‘placebo Guinea pugs’!
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OT – it may be too early to say but the daily death rate might be trending downwards too. According to one graph anyway.
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Refit – seems like a gamble.
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That’s generous of her to offer up citizens for a death rate experiment.
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‘Where are your priorities Chimpie?’
Been revised somewhat of late. Mainly trying to get through each day of home-schooling and work without losing my shit.
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What about obtaining beer?
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Got beer for the next week or so. Think my consumption rates are going to go up.
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Get more beer.
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He’s had problems with that before though.
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It’s why he needs to start now.
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Just got some Innis & Gunn in. You cheeky scamps
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@chimpie
good choice. Which ones?
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Lager Beer
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Bad choice
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Chimpie – do you have wine? If not, go now.
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Almost got busted for not listening in a meeting. Cos I was life coaching chimpie just now. He’d better get some good wine.
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Thauma, you have mail.
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Got wine. and prosecco. and gin.
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Also port
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‘Bad choice’
Pffft
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I only told you to get wine.
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Its when he puts all that into one glass that there’ll be trouble. Probably after another couple of weeks of lockdown and home schooling…
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BB – in my youth I put something similar in an empty carton of quality streets.
At my friends house, he said his parents had a garage full of unopened and ludicrously expensive booze.
He got drunk and fell asleep so really, me and another friend filling this carton with his parents booze was his fault entirely.
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I’ll get what I want, dammit
I ain’t no epigone.
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My worst was when I visited a mate who was doing work experience on a dairy farm as part of his college course. He only had gin and Ribena.
Yup.
Tasted as awful as it sounds. Turned out Gin and Blackcurrant was NOT a thing after all.
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Gin and anything is not a thing.
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Thaum, it crosses my mind that every time I log on, I go to the first page, with the first blog. It does not definitively say click here to go to the latest page, and at the bottom it just says comments closed.Is it possible that other simpletons like me maybe find first page and see no updates, so just go away again , not realising the blog is current??
Just a thought.
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Continuing the lockdown playlist, just found some OLD mix cds. This song is superb. Dili Allstars formed by members of the Painters and Dockers and East Timorese musicians to publicise the East Timor liberation movement in the 90s.
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SBT – that’s odd; have you perhaps bookmarked the first one rather than the main page (https://ovallyballs.sport.blog/)? It should take you to the latest article with the latest page of comments.
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(Latest article at top of list, that is.)
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You can also follow the blog by clicking on Reader at the top of the page, and get a notification whenever there is a new post.
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BB, I tried gin and milk once. Fearfully bad.
I did once mention that to a bloke that was in a band and he wrote and recorded a song with that title.
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That was OK, but I prefer the more widely available milk and alcohol….
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That’s proper music, that is.
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Many years ago, I used to share a house with a friend who ony drank Special Bru. If I fancied a top up out of hours, and that was all that was around, I had to mix it with milk to make it passable. Was actually quite nice, likean alcoholic mikshake, but you had to stir it constantly as the Carlsburg curdled the milk.
Anyways, are we doing favourite Dr. Feelgood songs ?
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Might as well thro in a little gratuitous South London .
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Right. Going to inject meself with some bleach and lie in the sun today. that should provide some immunity against this covid thing.
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Or is it disinfectant? Don’t want to do something silly and inject the wrong cleaning product.
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I’d use both – just to be sure. After all – the disease must be worse than the cure?
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