Links to Chapter One and Chapter Two
Edmund slipped and shivered through the snow until he eventually found the Witch’s castle. It looked quite creepy, but bolstered by thoughts of Turkish Delight (oh, his Saracens – and the Scarlets were his favourite Welsh side), he crept through the imposing main gate.
He found himself in a courtyard filled with statues. They had snow settling on them, and they all looked very sad. Near the gate, there were a couple of magnificent Lions, and then he spotted a statue that looked very like Lucy’s description of Mr Iknus. There was a collection of stone rugby balls, and what looked like a few referees. (“Those referees probably deserved it,” thought Edmund.)
Suddenly, Edmund was rooted to the spot by a chilling low growl. He turned his head to find himself staring into the eyes of Maugrim, chief of the Witch’s Very Secret Police.
“Come,” said Maugrim, “Her Majesty is expecting you.”
* * *
“What!” said the Witch, not at all friendly like the last time, “Have you come alone? I told you to bring the Daughters of Maeve and the other Son of George.”
“B – b – but,” stammered Edmund, afraid of her icy stare and stern manner, “I couldn’t get them away from the Beavers. They were all talking about the return of Paulan to Narnia.”
The Queen turned even paler, if that were possible.
“Paulan!” she muttered to herself, “No, it cannot be possible. My spells are strong.”
Before Edmund knew what had happened, she had crossed the room and spear-tackled him with one strong arm. “Tell me all,” she said, preparing to drive his head into the ground.
Edmund, quaking with fear, told her all that he knew.
The Witch released him with a thump on the floor, and clapped her hands to summon her minions.
“Harness the springboks and prepare my sledge immediately! Get my dwarf! Maugrim: take the swiftest of your wolves, go to the Lodge, and kill the children and the Beavers. If they have already gone, then proceed to the Stone Stadium.”
In the twinkling of a drop goal, the sledge pulled up, driven by a dwarf who looked suspiciously like a scrum-half. Edmund was bound, and unceremoniously dumped into the bottom of the sledge. There wasn’t even any Turkish Delight.
* * *
“Susan,” said Peter, “Where’s Edmund?”
“I – I don’t know. Now that you mention it, I haven’t noticed him for a while.”
“Ah, children,” said Mr Beaver, “I’m afraid he’s gone to see the Witch. We must be on our way quickly.”
“What?”, said Lucy, “No, surely Edmund would never betray us.”
“Daughter, I’m afraid he has the look of one who is in the Witch’s favour. How long that favour lasts is another matter.
“Did anyone notice when he left? Did he hear that Paulan is on the move?”
Nobody was quite sure.
“Then we must be off at once. Mrs Beaver, please pack us up as quickly as you can.”
Mrs Beaver – for of course it’s always the females who are prepared for anything – had already got nearly everything ready for travelling. She had a pack ready for everyone, and they were off in less time than it takes to reset a scrum.
* * *
They had a long, cold and weary journey, and stopped after some hours at a safe hiding place, where they cast themselves down on the floor, covered themselves with the blankets kindly provided by Mrs Beaver, and fell asleep immediately.
They were awakened at dawn by some faint voices, which became clearer as they drew closer.
“Ho, ho ho! Go left! It’s on!”
“I’m straighter than that throw-in.”
The children rubbed the sleep from their eyes and looked in confusion at the Beavers.
“It’s Father Jiffy and Father Nige,” beamed Mr Beaver. “The Witch’s magic has kept them from Narnia for so long, but her enchantment is fading. The voices of rugby have returned to the land.” They rushed outside to find a volley of rugby balls flying through the air, and the snow at last melting.
Ovally Balls 
@CMW.
Ooops…
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Morning DCI,
A good friend of mine is currently negotiating the media/braodcast rights for Czech cricket. A deal should be done by early next week. This was last week:
“Imagine how weird i feel having phone meetings with the agency that handles the BCCI’s media rights, The former ICC Head of Global Development who now advises Cricket Australia on Digital and media rights, and dealing with multiple companies bidding for the rights to show Czech Cricket in India.”
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Have played in Dresden a couple of times. They’re a good bunch of lads and are better than us. It’s an enjoyable train journey up and the curry for lunch is excellent.
The first time I went was for a 20-over tournament over 2 days. On the Saturday night I drunkenly asked our captain if he’d give me a bowl the next day. He chose to and I took a wicket first ball – caught by a Hungarian lad who was there to make up the numbers and who’d dropped 3 or 4 chances the previous day, – and another one in the next over and was standing on figures of 2-1-1-2. Then the captain decided he wanted to bowl from that end and took me off to bring me on at the other end. Ended up with 4-1-17-2 but still wonder what could have been.
I’ve also played against Berlin CC in Prague. They were very good fun. That was my last game in Prague before going to live in SA. I opened and had pushed and edged my way to 3 or 4 when I got stung by a wasp. I retired hurt for a bit and then came back in after a few wickets went down. As I took guard and waited for the bowler to run in,, the fielders started up a chorus of buzzing. We all had to take a couple of minutes.
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Tom Holland was responsible for an outburst of optimism in my house yesterday. I’ve not told the boys yet in case the club doesn’t agree to do it. The head coach is up for it, not least because he’s self employed and needs the dough
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CMW, good on the kids.
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TomP – at least this lockdown will ensure that you’ll have had one lucky escape. Prague was going to be invaded by the BBs next week, so you get away with that one. Weather looks as though its going to be bloody brilliant there too.
Ah well, maybe some other time (if we’re ever allowed to travel abroad again).
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Tomp,
Sounds brilliant! Both the games and the media bidding war. Cricket is such a good game for such attractive quirks.
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OT,
I hope they get to play (safely) soon. Have they been playing long?
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@brookter
The oldest (9 in March) has been playing since he was 5 and always liked it, and is very good at it. His little brother picked it up by watching him and is also one of the best in his age group (they have got their sporting genes and long limbs from the missus). They’ve got great coaches and it’s fantastic to be part of it. We were ready to go for the new season and massively frustrated it hasn’t got going yet – we do coaching sessions in the back garden via Zoom and our grass is knackered.
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PS the right and left handed combination we have means they can do bowling drills together. This is one their coach put on Instagram over winter.
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BB, that’s a shame. All this beer I got in as well. I s’pose it’s not going to drink itself so …
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You’re in luck then, as I’m not really a beer drinker. Although I suppose if there is anywhere that I might find a beer that a non-beer drinker would like, its should be Prague?
Any Czech whisky?
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OT
That’s great… It’s a difficult game with some ‘unnatural’ actions so getting them coached properly really gives them a head start, doesn’t it? Top Dadding, that!
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@Brookter & Refit, thanks for the UMW offer and link. Our friends* who visit us in the summer each year made me some cds of the recording with Burton (I think), but I never got around to listening to them and I don’t know where they are now. That youtube link is very convenient so I can imagine listening and reading at the same time.
*They won’t make it this year I imagine. He is in self-isolation because of age and vulnerability after cancer treatments plus rotten luck with bungled operations.
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There is Czech whisky. Kind of. Something called Hammer Head. They stopped production in 1989/90 but the quality’s meant to be good. It’s a single malt – I don’t drink whisky so don’t know if this is anything important.
They quite like rum and produce it themselves. Otherwise it’s Becherovka and things like that. Home-made it’s apple brandy, plum brandy (slivovice) and the like. Blow your head off stuff. My missus’s uncle always insists on getting me to drink some when we visit him.
Speaking of slivovice, I was reading something the other week about Nazi Germany’s economic policy and how it got a large part of Yugoslavia completely smashed in 1939. Will find it now.
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@brooktee
Luckily they both love it. And I find it fascinating learning all the stuff I didn’t know before. Makes me even more of an insufferable know it all than I used to be.
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Oh and live sport.
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All the best to you and yours, CMW. Keep posting old chum, your style of humour regularly cheers me up
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Scottish Scrum-Half Talk! (So everyone else can look away now…)
Just watched the Edinburgh-Scarlets game, and Sam H-C was excellent. OK, you could say it was against a Scarlets ‘second’ team (and the commentary made sure to mention that frequently), but he still ran the show for the time he was on. He was also really good in another game I watched recently too. If Baxter can get him back to those levels, he’ll have a damn good player on his hands. Although Ali Price has come back into some great form this season (and Horne The Younger is obviously The Future), Sam H-C I reckon can still get back into the international) scene.
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By the way – the commentary team was Mark Robson, Stuart Barnes and Rory Lawson. Just all sorts of wrong.
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Dana singing “All Kinds of Everything” on Pointless.
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Iksy,
I’m so very very sorry: https://www.bbc.com/sport/rugby-union/52690302
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BB, the only thing stopping Sam H-C from being a top world class scrum half is his heid, he has most of the tools, world class pace, vision, a great boot (a superb goal-kicking boot too, but I was mostly talking about his kicking from hand)
There is a reason his pass is still shite and it’s the same reason he hasn’t fulfilled his undoubted potential – if the stories are to be believed he’s all raw talent and no graft
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If he’s all raw talent and no graft at Exeter, then Baxter will have him out pretty quick. Maybe he’s realised its time the screw the nut? I would imagine he’s spoken with Baxter and he knows what’s expected.
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I think the culture at Edinburgh made him and others very lazy, no one addressed it until Richard Cockerill came in and shook everything up, Edinburgh were coasting as a club, content with being professional players, ie getting paid to play sport, but there was no desire to win.
Cockers has been the first coach to tell those guys to get to fuck, the ones who have stayed have been the ones who have responded to the shake up. The ones who are joining are coming in to an environment where hard work is the absolute bare minimum that is expected.
In answer to your question from the other day BB, it’s very good news that Cockers wants to stay on. We are nearing the stage where we can play badly (see the games against Scarlets and Cardiff in Feb) but still win, we need to be bad bastards up front and to have some linebreakers in the backs, we are getting there
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There is a reason the more savvy players like Wee Greeg and Matt Scott left Edinburgh when they did – they knew there were at a club going nowhere.
There is also a reason Scott really wanted to stay at Edinburgh this time around, he knows they are a team now, but the money just wasn’t there to keep him – I wish I’d won the lottery a few months ago!
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“People complain that we’ve made 11 albums that sound exactly the same.
No, actually it’s 12 albums that sound exactly the same.”
Angus Young
(It’s more like 15 now…)
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‘Llamas are the real unicorns’: why they could be our secret weapon against coronavirus
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Wots this Sam H-C to Exeter……………………………too many Scots there now…………………
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Not enough, I’d say…
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Well, call me ‘surprised’…………………….
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2020/may/17/hs2-costs-and-potential-delays-are-out-of-control-warn-mps
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HS2 kills blog with shock wave……………………
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Aus 14-16 Ire and Catface hooks the worst penalty of his career. What year?
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2020 v England
But I’d guess 2018 First Test.
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Catface has been really poor over the last year, so I’d guess more recently.
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thaum, Keith Wood and Ruan Pienaar have got beef going on: https://www.sarugbymag.co.za/pienaar-hits-back-cheetahs-critics/
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I watched the Tonga – South Africa game from the 2007 World Cup again the other day. I say again as had watched it in the pub and chatting and stuff got in the way. SA’s 2nd side were a bit poor but Nili Latu just superb. When the SA bench came on, they played some good rugby.
Pienaar was at full-back that day. Scored 2 good tries. Top player.
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TomP – I have a foot in both camps. The travel is ridiculous, but I do like the way the Cheetahs, especially, play. Mostly since Ruan joined them.
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I am devastated that The Most Handsome Man in Rugby™ will leave the Drags, but I hope going slightly up-market will be good for him and his career. He might even become a contender for the Wales team again with a fair wind and perhaps a better – or at least different – coaching and fitness regime.
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Ah that was in response to TomP regarding Tyler Morgan.
Meanwhile my friend in isolation was delighted to get the youtube version of Under Milk Wood, so thanks DCI and Refit.
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I see Stewart Lee’s anti-semitic now. Good to see him getting called out for something finally. He’s been using the very racist “piccaninny” and “watermelon” and the homophobic “bumboys” for months now.
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Neil Gaiman – idiot.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-highlands-islands-52697289
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That isn’t the brightest move
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‘The Most Handsome Man in Rugby™’
Thought that was JDII? Hard to keep up with all these pleasingly featured welshmen.
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‘Police officers in Scotland have spoken to author Neil Gaiman after he admitted to travelling more than 11,000 miles from New Zealand to his house on the Isle of Skye, in breach of Scotland’s lockdown rules.’
Dear mr Gaiman. You’re very naughty. Don’t do it again.
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JDII’s handsome and scrubs up well. Would be a lovely boy to take home to meet your parents. That’s the blog wisdom on the matter, Chimpie.
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I saw this picture of a young Roland Bertranne the other day. French centre/outside half in the 1970s and dish:
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“I see Stewart Lee’s anti-semitic now. “
The entirety of the Guardian too, apparently
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If we’re talking about handsome rugby players, once again RL steals the show
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