Links to Chapter One and Chapter Two
Edmund slipped and shivered through the snow until he eventually found the Witch’s castle. It looked quite creepy, but bolstered by thoughts of Turkish Delight (oh, his Saracens – and the Scarlets were his favourite Welsh side), he crept through the imposing main gate.
He found himself in a courtyard filled with statues. They had snow settling on them, and they all looked very sad. Near the gate, there were a couple of magnificent Lions, and then he spotted a statue that looked very like Lucy’s description of Mr Iknus. There was a collection of stone rugby balls, and what looked like a few referees. (“Those referees probably deserved it,” thought Edmund.)
Suddenly, Edmund was rooted to the spot by a chilling low growl. He turned his head to find himself staring into the eyes of Maugrim, chief of the Witch’s Very Secret Police.
“Come,” said Maugrim, “Her Majesty is expecting you.”
* * *
“What!” said the Witch, not at all friendly like the last time, “Have you come alone? I told you to bring the Daughters of Maeve and the other Son of George.”
“B – b – but,” stammered Edmund, afraid of her icy stare and stern manner, “I couldn’t get them away from the Beavers. They were all talking about the return of Paulan to Narnia.”
The Queen turned even paler, if that were possible.
“Paulan!” she muttered to herself, “No, it cannot be possible. My spells are strong.”
Before Edmund knew what had happened, she had crossed the room and spear-tackled him with one strong arm. “Tell me all,” she said, preparing to drive his head into the ground.
Edmund, quaking with fear, told her all that he knew.
The Witch released him with a thump on the floor, and clapped her hands to summon her minions.
“Harness the springboks and prepare my sledge immediately! Get my dwarf! Maugrim: take the swiftest of your wolves, go to the Lodge, and kill the children and the Beavers. If they have already gone, then proceed to the Stone Stadium.”
In the twinkling of a drop goal, the sledge pulled up, driven by a dwarf who looked suspiciously like a scrum-half. Edmund was bound, and unceremoniously dumped into the bottom of the sledge. There wasn’t even any Turkish Delight.
* * *
“Susan,” said Peter, “Where’s Edmund?”
“I – I don’t know. Now that you mention it, I haven’t noticed him for a while.”
“Ah, children,” said Mr Beaver, “I’m afraid he’s gone to see the Witch. We must be on our way quickly.”
“What?”, said Lucy, “No, surely Edmund would never betray us.”
“Daughter, I’m afraid he has the look of one who is in the Witch’s favour. How long that favour lasts is another matter.
“Did anyone notice when he left? Did he hear that Paulan is on the move?”
Nobody was quite sure.
“Then we must be off at once. Mrs Beaver, please pack us up as quickly as you can.”
Mrs Beaver – for of course it’s always the females who are prepared for anything – had already got nearly everything ready for travelling. She had a pack ready for everyone, and they were off in less time than it takes to reset a scrum.
* * *
They had a long, cold and weary journey, and stopped after some hours at a safe hiding place, where they cast themselves down on the floor, covered themselves with the blankets kindly provided by Mrs Beaver, and fell asleep immediately.
They were awakened at dawn by some faint voices, which became clearer as they drew closer.
“Ho, ho ho! Go left! It’s on!”
“I’m straighter than that throw-in.”
The children rubbed the sleep from their eyes and looked in confusion at the Beavers.
“It’s Father Jiffy and Father Nige,” beamed Mr Beaver. “The Witch’s magic has kept them from Narnia for so long, but her enchantment is fading. The voices of rugby have returned to the land.” They rushed outside to find a volley of rugby balls flying through the air, and the snow at last melting.
Ovally Balls 
TomP @19:52
That’s just poor grammar. It doesn’t get any better, as you point out.
On the DNA furore, ‘DNA’ has become shorthand for the scientifically illiterate for ‘culture’.
LikeLiked by 2 people
That’s what I’m saying Tom, admittedly not very clearly now I read back. I would hope we’d still win the secondary competition next year, but this particular group will have moved on. Scotland are particularly strong in the pack and the backline right now, I’m not sure how many will still be eligible to play next year but it can’t be more than half a dozen.
Having said that, we would still hope to win next year and then come back stronger in 2022 when the laddies are all a year older
LikeLike
When you go South Africa you probably need someone confrontational because that is their DNA.
True. Apart from Siya Kolisi and Rassie.
Under different circumstances Bakkies Botha could have been a flower arranger who spent his spare time painting watercolour landscapes with a penchant for musical theatre
Well, he’s a foodie and loves dogs, but think flower arranging might be beyond him.
LikeLike
That said, Gary Teichman was skipper in 97 and John Smit in 2009 – probably the two least confrontational skippers in modern Bok history. Along with Pienaar and Kolisi. Basically we’re quite good with level-headed skippers.
LikeLike
It would be remiss of me to not post this.
Blues Birthdays, slight return.
It’s only Robert flippin Johnson’s birthday! Born on the 8th of May 1911. There’s only one song I could possibly choose, I love everything about this, the myth, the playing, the singing, everything.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Britain:
LikeLike
“Well, he’s a foodie and loves dogs”
Raw steak and Boerboels?
LikeLike
This is a terrific joke:
LikeLiked by 2 people
Raw steak and Boerboels
Pretty close. Used to teach the boys in France how to make proper boerewors. He’s in a TV ad for dog food with Victor Matfield with their two dogs. From memory his is a pit bull or Boerboel.
Awesome on the Robert Johnson!
LikeLike
OB reaches the crossroads and sells it’s soul to sleep. For shame!
LikeLike
flower arranging sensitivity………….
LikeLike
Where’s Trisk? He might be interested that someone has gone through Neil Ferguson’s code and found it very, er, flexible. It has 450 free parameters which means it can be tuned to tell you exactly what you want to hear! Thread below.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Second half of NZ-Scotland from the 1995 RWC was a let down. Hastings dropped an up and under after about 30 seconds and Walter Little pounced for a second, then a couple of minutes later Mehrtens scooted down the sidelines for a fine individual score. Scotland came back with a good drive and score before slack tackling let the great Frank Bunce in for an easy try. All that was within 10 minutes of the restart. Scotland were game after but both sides tired really easy in a runaround match. Enjoyable but not quite as much as i’d (mis)remembered.
Scotland’s pack did ok at the maul, Zinzan was a special player.
LikeLike
Queuing for b&q. Fml.
LikeLike
Nice video about the Lionz featuring Paulie
LikeLike
Clive Woodward?
LikeLiked by 1 person
fml?
LikeLike
LikeLike
Feed My Llama.
Or something else My Llama beginning with F…..
LikeLike
Ah, I see posting videos that have already been talked about must be in my DNA.
LikeLike
fucking snowing again. Not proper, but blowing in the wind. brrrr.grrrr.
LikeLike
Little Richard deid.
LikeLike
Ah, pop music. Maybe I should have been kinder about the point of it.
LikeLike
There’s a point to pop music?
LikeLike
BB
Get your yah-yahs out, baby!
LikeLike
I’ll keep my yah-yah’s where they are, thank you very much.
LikeLike
And the Stones never were, and never have been ‘pop’ music.
LikeLike
Rolling Stones does disco was pop music
LikeLike
Nope.
LikeLike
“There’s a point to pop music?”
Well, there is but I refer my honourable librarian to The Velvelettes:
LikeLiked by 2 people
That is one of my all time favourite songs, TomP, the melody, rhythm, arrangement are perfect , the lyrics are perfect pop lyrics.
That era of pop song is so strong, I love this, for all the reasons above, plus I like the story but it also has a killer line (whatever happened to killer line? I miss him) The line is “I’ll be back in the time it takes to break his heart, I gotta break his heart”
LikeLiked by 1 person
Perfect pop songs…makes me think of Roy Orbison, Abba, Beach Boys, early Beatles, Hollies and many more. But I think this is a great pop song despite the image and branding of the band
LikeLiked by 2 people
The Stones were awfully shite though. Took that bellowing trooper Melanie to turn that one decent tune into something listenable.
Still, if you set the bar very low they were more bearable than cod-Stones tribute bands like Oasis and the Verve.
LikeLike
Oh MisterIks!
LikeLike
I do like a contrary opinion, though.
The most dreary sentence in the English language is “each to their own”
LikeLike
Iks! That’s you on the list!
(Which I’ve borrowed from Sag)
LikeLike
The Charlatans (for a bit) are the Stones tribute act, Iks.
Also, Marianne Faithfull does better versions of Stones songs than the Stones did themselves.
LikeLike
My research is pretty much non-existent to be fair, Ticht. Maybe there are loads of top tunes buried in albums I’ve never listened to. I have a soft spot for bad singers if the way the song is sung carries some emotional heft. Mick’s chicken-sinewed nasal whine put me off, peaking with ‘Angie’. I quite like him as a rock star and celeb though.
Next up, Led who?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah the Charlatans (UK). Awful, even though I only know one or two songs.
Boring but true: Faithfull leaves her husband to motorbike to her lover in Heidelberg in Girl on a Motorcycle (aka Naked Under Leather). A bit like this year’s blog meet, she never gets there.
LikeLike
I like being on BB’s list. Marvellous.
LikeLike
I like loads of shite music, and get hurt when someone criticises it. So as Karl might say I’m showing my own foibles, not criticising anyone else’s. E.g. from OT’s mini-list of perfect pop-song exponents ABBA would be my favourite.
LikeLike
Anyway, just before midnight here so I’ll say goodnight with this cheeky steal.
LikeLike
I said pop music didn’t have a point (or rather, I asked if it did). I didn’t say that I didn’t like pop music. I’m a sucker for disposable 70s pop (and occasional 80s stuff), as I’ve posted here before.
Iks JUST about redeems himself by liking ABBA. CRaigs would be pleased…..
Anyway – pop songs. Was listening to this earlier on today – think this might qualify.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know I said I like 70s pop songs, but I think the 60s had the best pop songs.
Even the manufactured groups had classics…
LikeLike
The 60s were when even Irish actors could have overwrought pop hits….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Woo! Woo!
Woo! Woo!
LikeLike
This bunch were OK as songwriters too…
LikeLike
I remember a Q article on The Byrds that said they were “The fourth best (or it may have been most important) band of the Sixties” Assuming that the Beatles and the Stones were 1 and 2 (which may well be wrong) I always wondered who number 3 were…
But they would have to be some band to produce songs better than this…
LikeLike
Of course, the Kinks might have been number 3….
LikeLiked by 1 person
And yes, I’ve had too much wine.
Tough.
Just be thankful I’ve not gone on to Progtastic Pop Songs.
LikeLiked by 2 people