None of you will be able to contain your excitement at the prospect of the Leinster v Ulster Pro-Woo final on Saturday. The good news for Ulster is that Iain Henderson is fit and starting, and Johnny Sexton is starting on the pine. The bad news for Ulster is that John Cooney has been relegated to the bench in favour of one Alby Mathewson, who has apparently played for some non-European side called the All-Blacks. Oh, and the fact that they are playing Leinster.
On the telly
Saturday 12th September
| Reds v Rebels | 10:15 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Leinster v Ulster | 18:30 | TG4 / Premier Sports 1 |
Sunday 13th September
| Wasps v Bristol | 12:30 | BT Sport Extra |
| Leicester v Northampton | 14:00 | BT Sport 1 |
| London Irish v Worcester | 15:00 | BT Sport Extra |
| Sale v Bath | 15:00 | BT Sport Extra |
| Saracens v Exeter | 16:30 | BT Sport 1 |
Monday 14th September
| Gloucester v Harlequins | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
Ovally Balls 
Tories are gonna Tory, Deebs.
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Last time they could be argued to have had anywhere to fall from would be about 1975. Agree that there has been a little additional digging recently though.
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Having an ongoing argument about single space / double space after a full stop with various people at work.
One would think there are more important things at work currently i.e. actually having work but some people just won’t accept that they’re wrong.
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Another one for Iksy – this time ducks at a wine farm in Cape Town.
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Single Space, cream on top of jam on a scone, toast toasted both sides. Think that covers it ?
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Full stop. With single space
Full stop. With double space
I recall doing this in typing (yeah, “typing”) up course work and undergrad thesis – but it’s not applicable with modern word processing packages……IIRC
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and in HTML – the browser ignores the “nbsp;” element if there’s more than 1 anyway – hence my examples above look identical
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2 spaces or death. That’s the choice. Everyone carry on with your ironing.
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Gotta wonder why those ducks don’t fly away to freedom. Cos they don’t get fed lovely pests. All those ducks taking the easy route make me sick. They don’t deserve their rights.
They are basically slaves to the man.
Wake the fuck up sheeple!!!
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Want some juicy duck now.
Mmmm.
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Single Space, cream on top of jam on a scone, toast toasted both sides. Think that covers it ?
Single space, jam on top of cream on a scone, toast toasted both sides, Farrell has never, ever tackled legally. Fixed it for you.
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Craigs – head over to the cricket. England managed a Royal duck and a golden duck to start the innings. Starc was on a hattrick on his 3rd delivery! Crap delivery though and Bairstow and Morgan have picked up the pace like they’re strolling around a Sunday League game.
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Starc took 2/17 in his first spell of three overs, but Cummins and Hazlewood have been loose – Hazlewood going for 27 in 4 overs and Cummins 15 in 2 overs. Looks a glorious batting pitch to be fair.
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Commentators curse: Morgan scoops a soft catch to mid-on off Zampa. Trying to force the pace when there was no need and guess who – Mitchell Starc – takes the catch. 67/3 in the 11th over.
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The most leisurely of mid-afternoon steals. I thank you.
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Buttler also spoons one into the cordon, this time at cover to go for 8. England 96/4 in the 19th over, with three soft dismissals so far.
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Deebs – stupid slave ducks!!! Although…..
Real Cricket update
I took Deebee’s advice and went along a path next to a cricket game and clubhouse and there was a game going on. I was concentrating on not collapsing into a heap and listening to a podcast so I didn’t notice initially that the umpire had stopped the game and was waiting for me to run past the game even though I wasn’t on the pitch. Might have been distracting a batsman.
All the players and spectators were looking at me.
I smiled and waved and zero fucks were given.
Put some pixelated sunglasses on my face now!!
Real Cricket update ends
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I’m sure they were simply rendered speechless and immobile by the magnificence of your being, Craigs.
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@Craigs – at least you haven’t admitted to being the sort of wanker who winds their window down to shout Howzat as you drive past. Small mercies etc.
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Deebs – actually, everyone was speechless and seemingly immobile so maybe I am magnificent.
At least, that’s what I’m choosing to believe.
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CMW – just the sort of wanker who uses a public footpath next to a cricket pitch I guess.
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@Craigs – it’s the being pleased at having held them up that marks you out as a potential Howzatter.
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Thaum (or anyone else), what’s the email to provide a ‘contibution’? Ta
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real cricket update:
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CMW – just minding my own business gov. But you’re probably right.
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Chimpie – I’ve emailed you. Yay!
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OT – haha I used to work for them. Managed their market abuse and best execution processes despite not knowing what those things really meant at the interview stage.
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That was the thatcherite boss job.
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I’ve kneemailed you thauma.
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@craigs
We have connections there through the club. And one of the RL PR people lives round the corner. So it’s easy for everyone.
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None of those poor kids know who those old fuckers are.
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@craigs
You’re right, except this being Upminster none of those kids are poor.
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Can’t have enough ducks. Wish they’d flown away though. My pond duck dropped back in the other week after the nipper debacle. She spotted me straightaway, and swum over for a snack and hello. Marvellous.
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Just discovered this, less than an hour away from here. Might be tempted to book as a surprise (pleasant) for Mrs.Iks, and to plant a flag in honour of our Chimpie.
https://www.pfalz-lamas.de/en/#
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Slave ducks > slave llamas
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Little One’s Covid test was inconclusive so been back on the dreaded site most of the day. Not been offered so much as an imaginary Mexboroughian sausage.
Might be in a foul mood.
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Clyde – have you tried pretending to live in Aberdeen? Cos apparently that’s the way to book a test near you in England.
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I’ve just managed to get one in Leeds tomorrow so hopefully this time we’ll get a result. From Mrs CMW’s account of the previous effort we’ll both need to go (one to restrain The Little One and one to shove the doodah up her nose) so that means all five of us in the car. It’ll do us good to get away from the home schooling I suppose.
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OT – do their parents even own shares?
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The llama on the main page of that website is definitely giving you the “come hither” looks, Iks!
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In fact a trip to Chapeltown. I suspect the vibes will be less irie than they have been on all my previous visits to that neck of the woods. On the plus side I might not come home deaf.
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Though I was in nearby Meanwood on Sunday for cricket. No runs or wickets for me, but the Sunday cricket captaincy Holy Grail of the Tie was achieved so got to be happy with that.
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The result of results. Played in one in my glittering career.
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Looks as if my lad’s gonna need some box-kicking lessons soon.
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@TomP – We had had a 1 run win earlier in the season. Made all the more special by the oposition feeling hard done by as a would-be six had hit our overhanging tree and been ruled four as per the agreed playing conditions. I wasn’t captain for that though and the tie was the only place to go to avoid being out-done.
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‘Because of their calm and balanced character, llamas are perfect hiking companions’
Sounds about right
‘that can be guided easily.’
pffft
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Some friends of mine have alpacas. They’re awfully cute, but I’m not sure they’re particularly biddable.
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CMW, very nice. My club here had a couple of close losses earlier in the season but have had a couple of wins by under 10 runs in the last fortnight. Am now non-playing so follow from afar.
My favourite game was one at school. A time match. They scored about a million and we got to 68-9 with one ball left. The Number 11, Steve Anderson, pushed the ball wide of the fielder and called for a run. 69-9 and we celebrated as if we’d just secured a very valuable win in a B&H group game.
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The final over of the tie involved an interesting dilemma for the opposition captain. He had come back in when their number twelve* was out as he had retired earlier on 50. He was batting with a woman who had stuck around for a few overs without ever looking like scoring a run in front of the bat (I think she had one from a deflection behind square). They needed 13 to win off our quickest (and arguably best) bowler. He hit a tremendous six over long-on which was followed by a wide, a dot and then a four, leaving two to win, one to tie. We still kept the field back offering him the single as he was striking the ball incredibly well, I didn’t know if he would take the single and I was happy with the tie anyway. He took the single to leave his partner on strike for the last two balls with the scores level and predictably enough she failed to score off them. In his position do you take that run? You look an arsehole if you turn it down and then get out and lose. It’s also perhaps disrespectful to your partner if you don’t take it and for this reason against the ethos of Sunday cricket to some extent. Our team were very much divided between those that would have taken it and those that wouldn’t – of course some of us would never be in the position of hitting the ball well enough to be choosing in any case.
*They had twelve players, we had eleven. Meant our lowest scorer could have two goes. Our opener thought that would be him when he was out for a duck to the fourth ball of our innings, but his hopes were scuppered when I was out second ball in the same over. I got 35 overs thinking I might get another chance until someone else got a first-baller. In the end even he never got a second go as we didn’t lose enough wickets.
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@TomP – I’ve never played timed cricket, but I guess that sort of thing must be even more satisfying than it is in a limited overs (with draws) game as you have the bonus of them knowing they wasted time scoring 200 more than they needed to.
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