None of you will be able to contain your excitement at the prospect of the Leinster v Ulster Pro-Woo final on Saturday. The good news for Ulster is that Iain Henderson is fit and starting, and Johnny Sexton is starting on the pine. The bad news for Ulster is that John Cooney has been relegated to the bench in favour of one Alby Mathewson, who has apparently played for some non-European side called the All-Blacks. Oh, and the fact that they are playing Leinster.
On the telly
Saturday 12th September
| Reds v Rebels | 10:15 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Leinster v Ulster | 18:30 | TG4 / Premier Sports 1 |
Sunday 13th September
| Wasps v Bristol | 12:30 | BT Sport Extra |
| Leicester v Northampton | 14:00 | BT Sport 1 |
| London Irish v Worcester | 15:00 | BT Sport Extra |
| Sale v Bath | 15:00 | BT Sport Extra |
| Saracens v Exeter | 16:30 | BT Sport 1 |
Monday 14th September
| Gloucester v Harlequins | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
Ovally Balls 
CMW, We used to play them for my club in Bournemouth. Tea was the cut-off usually.
At school it was the same but in my last game in Upper 6th I was in with the captain, who was also leaving that year, at tea and we didn’t have too many on the board. He said we should carry on batting until one of us was out ‘but try and play some attacking shots’. We batted on for another 30 minutes and rattled up a good partnership before he declared. Our really really good bowler then got 3 or 4 of them out quickly and it looked on but their really good batsman saved it for them and it became quite a tame draw.
The captain got a telling off from our teacher/manager. I’d really enjoyed it.
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One problem was we played those games against 3 or 4 other schools. The one we drew with in the Anderson match were miles better than us so if we batted first the game was usually over by tea and we had to hang around while the other sides playing finished their matches.
The other big thing was our superstar captain and opening bowler was so enamoured of his skills that he’d bowl himself for a huge long spell from his chosen end, which meant the other lads who wanted a bowl didn’t get much of a chance. He got the chop before we got to sixth form.
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Long long time since I played cricket, used to play a lot of left over thirds beer team, had one tie. Their opening bowler and number ten had hit a rapid fire 99, his highest ever score, last over and they needed 1 to win, so the captain threw me the ball, as the most unbowly bowler in the team. First military medium trundler was miles wide, the umpire was about to signal it when he realised the batsmen would be stranded on his highest ever score one short of the ton and would kill him. Being totally befuddled by the run up business, I switched to three pace slow, with a roll off the finger. Never managed it before, so I assume hit a bump, but as the ball looped down outside off and the batsmen took a huge wind up to reach his ton with a six, the blow me down if it didn’t turn at right angles and knock his middle stump gently backwards. Number 11 came in and dropped the bat on my next four balls, which were all miraculously straight and good length. Felt like as much of a bastard as Graham Thorpe looked when he stranded Alex Tudor on 99 not out.
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On Sunday it was the final of the u9s Don Coates Trophy against deadly rivals Ilford. Independent umpires because of previous bad behaviour (not us) but midweek we won the toss and got home advantage. Ilford post all their scorecards online so we spotted that although they were unbeaten this season so far all their runs were scored by their first 4 batsman (this is terriers rule – 8 a side, batters have a partnership of 4 overs losing 5 runs per wicket, everyone bowls 2 overs etc). So we stacked our 4 top bowlers against their 4 top batters and let battle commence. It was quite glorious. They had one left hander who hadn’t been out so far this season and was looking dangerous. My lad was in the zone and steaming in like Merv Hughes and managed to get one to rear up off a length, hitting the shoulder of the bat and spooning up to be caught around point. The tactic worked and Ilford were kept to a net score of 255 (in terriers you start at 200). My lad and his mate opened up for the reply and scored 29 off their 4 overs (16 overs in total). In the end it was quite a comfortable win, but the sizeable crowd that assembled felt really tense and there were a few tears.
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“Independent umpires because of previous bad behaviour” – this is a bit sad.
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@cmw
The opposition are well known for it. The team we beat in the semifinals told us there was a bit of a barny when they played their league match as well. At one point in the final one of the umpires had to tell one of their coaches off for being too boisterous. We responded to them being told off with a polite ripple of applause. It felt like being at the snooker.
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Sbt – it wasn’t your fault. It was some bastard jogging around the pitch along a public footpath.
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another one for Iksy
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Better to let the coaches umpire and keep score.
Have mentioned before how a series of innovative lbw decisions cost my school team a victory away at posh Sherborne school. We lost the game but we learnt a valuable life lesson: Toffs’ll do anything to maintain their class position.
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@tomp
Something similar nearly happened in our semifinal when their Umpire coach made a load of booboos. They had an extra fielder on for most of the match (my mate spotted it around over 12), he gave a wicket against us despite their bowler constantly chucking it (they’re quite soft on chucking but you can’t give a wicket when it happens), he wouldn’t give any wides against their bowlers, he refused to give no balls when their bowler bowled 2 beamers etc etc.
Thank God we won.
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They’ve made the local rag
https://www.romfordrecorder.co.uk/sport/cricket/upminster-under-9s-crowned-don-coates-trophy-champions-1-6842466
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I did not notice that LLaMas come-hither Eye-yi-yis! No sir. Not one bit.
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That was for that BB.
Thanks for the cute boars OT.
A mouse (or snubby nosed vole) crossed my path yesterday. You know that feeling when your eyes register something odd before you brain / logic processes it? So it sort of went mouse/snake/rat before I saw it was a mother mouse with a baby mouse behind her, but with its nose coupled to the root of the mother’s tail or bum tufts. So they moved in perfect sync, like a sleek train and carriage. I was quite charmed by the sight.
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I used to play this back in the day
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What do British politicians know about Northern ireland?
Let’s have a look:
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Lady Hermon is a British politician I guess but a sorta hybrid one. Kate Hoey is definitely a British politician.
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Dog, Raab is despicable. The Belfast Agreement is 35 pages long; it’s not fucking, er, War and Peace.
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35 words would be too much for Raab. Especially if they were more than one syllable.
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Raab and I have both worked for the same organisation, about 5 years apart. I feel dirty now.
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Tomp was a member of the UK cabinet?
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Imagine how Raab feels! What a cockwomble. Raab, not our TomP.
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It’s strange because that organisation is very vocal in favour of some things that Raab hates.
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Bu t there are a few things where they see eye-to-eye.
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International man of mystery…. Obviously I could search organisations that Raab has worked for, but that would be cheating.
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You’re at, ahem, Liberty to work out what it might have been from this fairly substantial clue.
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There weren’t any right-wingers there when I was there, but that was at a time when there was a Tory government. Raab was there in the first flush of New Labour.
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He reads and responds to my dad’s emails. Let’s have some perspective.
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Tbh I hate reading work stuff, I can only imagine how he feels.
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“Obviously I could search organisations that Raab has worked for, but that would be cheating.”
“You’re at, ahem, Liberty to work out what it might have been from this fairly substantial clue.”
Time we heard about TomP’s time with the PLO.
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I’ve been wondering about how enforceable the whole rule of 6 is and it just strikes me as something that can’t happen without snitchers.
For example Mrs Craig’s was driving through Tenterden High Street and saw a teenage boy being wanked off by his girlfriend on a bench. I’ve never seen this sort of thing happen in public in the UK and I don’t expect to. Apparently a lot of people saw and were suitably shock (SHOCKED!!).
I was going to put this down to a ‘Kent thing’ but it might just illustrate how stretched the police are. If you can get a wristy in public then you don’t really need to worry about a covid rave.
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CMW – actually it was the LPO.
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” I’ve never seen this sort of thing happen in public in the UK and I don’t expect to. ”
If I ever find myself on Tenterden High St then this is what I will now expect to see.
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Perhaps the police are now so focused on groups of more than six (who don’t have shotguns, are not playing ‘organised sport’, being educated etc) that two people can get up to pretty much anything they like. Then again I’m not sure Craigs’ example, marvellous though it is in its own right, is the best starting point for reasoning this out.
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Tenterden is a small town, Craigs. That boy is going to be in big trouble when her Dad finds out.
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Once saw a couple having literal sex on the crowded banks of the yarra River in Melbourne at lunch time . They had a small group of people watching.
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Fancy that, a llama with a giant telescope!
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doggyllama
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Steady on
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How long did you stay watching the crowd, chimpie?
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Apparently Mrs Craig’s saw them again in the same spot. Just talking this time.
Maybe they learnt their lesson.
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@tomp
2-3 minutes, typically.
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OT – that’s probably about the time his family told him that it was time to actually go to the art gallery or museum they were originally headed to.
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Mmmm, Liberty…………………………lovely fabrics
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“your” Exeter side to face Saints – as strong as possible (no updates on Hogg’s groin(!)):
15 Stuart Hogg, 14 Jack Nowell, 13 Henry Slade, 12 Ian Whitten, 11 Tom O’Flaherty
10 Joe Simmonds (capt), 9 Jack Maunder
1 Alec Hepburn, 2 Luke Cowan-Dickie, 3 Harry Williams, 4 Jonny Gray, 5 Jonny Hill, 6 Dave Ewers, 7 Jacques Vermeulen, 8 Sam Simmonds
16 Jack Yeandle, 17 Ben Moon, 18 Tomas Francis, 19 Sam Skinner, 20 Jannes Kirsten, 21 Sam Hidalgo-Clyne, 22 Gareth Steenson, 23 Ollie Devoto
Very strong bench
Johnnys Gray and Hill really good together already
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Hogg obviously not relaxing on a bench in Tenterden.
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‘No Ships’ Chris Grayling To Be Paid ÂŁ100,000 A Year To Advise Ports Company
That’s how to do corruption.
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Interesting take on the validity of covid data
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That’s how to do corruption.
Pfft. Rank Amateurs. Here’s how you do it properly:
1) Your spouse is the Presidential Spokesperson;*
2) A global pandemic sees government release hundreds of million of pounds for the purchase of PPE;
3) Dust off a shelf company that has no track record of delivering anything – at all – and is not tax compliant and quietly let it be known that you’d fancy some of that (about ÂŁ6m in this instance);
3a) Alternatively, register a company after the tenders have gone out and have a word with friends in power;
4) See point 1 in case anyone raises alarm;
5) Rake it in, baby, and fuck the front-line health workers!
6) Rinse and repeat, at every provincial and local government level for pretty much every politically connected arsehole in South Africa.
* Or another politically connected spouse usually once removed from the arsehole stealing the money and feigning horror and protesting their innocence that anyone would think they’re anything less than angelic.
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On that cheerful note, I am off!
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