Pre-Ramble
And so it came to pass that the brave men of North London were vanquished by the dastardly Gallic hordes from Paris. Maidens wept as, with victory in sight, the dark sorcerer from beyond the Wall waved his spell and teleported the ball into the hands of a nefarious Argentinian who committed the most heinous of crimes and scored. All the brave fighting and sacrifice from these heroes undone in a second. All seemed lost. Sarries are doomed to smash lesser teams for many moons before being allowed back to play with the big boys. Who can stand up to the Scottish Wizard and his Parisian aristocrats?
Brave and mighty Rohan Exeter have answered that call despite the fact that they would prefer to dance on the graves of The Fallen whilst plundering their silverware. But that doesn’t fit my narrative so we’ll ignore it. They come seeking vengeance for their fallen kin!!!!
How do these teams compare? Who will win? Will it matter when the brave Londoners return from their exile to lay waste to all in their path? Let me make an uneducated guess … and copy some stuff from Wikipedia and other sites.
Racing 92
Quelle surprise innit, Teddy Thomas has been left out of the squad. Shirely this Try Scoring Machine is essential. I guess he must have Covid. In which case I wish him well but this is an unexpected gift to Exeter.
Elsewhere, Racing’s forwards (especially the tight five) are genuinely scary, as you would expect from a team in the European finals. They can compete in the scrum against anyone, and should lay a good foundation for the kids in the back seat.
We all know what Finn can do if given the opportunity and there is plenty of superstar strength, speed and guile (and cheating Irishmen*) outside him. Racing have a genuinely impressive team, and it is hard for this fan to find a chink in their armour. The only thing that I could think of is a highly cohesive team grinding them into the dirt….
Exeter
Mighty, mighty Exeter. Imagine them lining up on the hill, swords drawn, in full battle cry, riding down to trample the enemy…. Sorry, I got carried away there.
If anyone can stop Racing (apart from *sobs* Sarries) it’s them. They have brutal bastards up front and a game plan to crush teams into the dirt. They also have a high (the highest?) strike rate when in the opposition 22. If they can get into the ‘red zone’ enough times then they will win.
Their backs also have stardust with Henry Slade, Jack Nowell and Stuart Hogg CJ pleasing their way through opposition teams like Bruce Lee through a karate dojo or Joe Marler through some bollocks (or something).
The memory of love’s refrain
Prediction
Racing have the ability to strike in open play and I fancy them to get a couple of decent scores. I feel that they will have to play with a bit of structure to keep Exeter in their half, but that will be difficult against a team that typically like to keep hold of the ball. A lot rests on Finn Russell. If we see good Finn then it will be a close match and I fully expect him to pull out the jizz factor. Their Finishers also have buckets of jizz so I expect a late score or two.
Exeter’s key challenge is to maintain the fizzikality up front against the French team. Players like LCD, Jonny Gray and Dave Ewers need to pay out of their skin. Again, I expect them to do this. Later on I expect Hogg and/or Nowell to get onto the scoresheet with some well worked tries and the grown-ups start to get tired.
I hope it’s a belter, and these are two very good sides. I expect (want) Exeter to sneak it as they have the game plan for a final. It will be amazing if they do win given their journey. Similarly, Racing have been here before so I won’t begrudge them the win. If they do, it will be art over practicality, the rapier over the sledge hammer, Gallic joie de vivre over Anglo pragmatism. Probably won’t happen.
Final Score
Exeter 28 – 25 Racing 92
Teams
Exeter
Exeter: 15 Stuart Hogg, 14 Jack Nowell, 13 Henry Slade, 12 Ian Whitten, 11 Tom O’Flaherty, 10 Joe Simmonds (c), 9 Jack Maunder, 8 Sam Simmonds, 7 Jacques Vermeulen, 6 Dave Ewers, 5 Jonny Hill, 4 Jonny Gray, 3 Harry Williams, 2 Luke Cowan-Dickie, 1 Alec Hepburn
Replacements: 16 Jack Yeandle, 17 Ben Moon, 18 Tomas Francis, 19 Sam Skinner, 20 Jannes Kirsten, 21 Sam Hidalgo-Clyne, 22 Gareth Steenson, 23 Ollie Devoto
Racing 92
Racing: 15 Simon Zebo, 14 Louis Dupichot, 13 Virimi Vakatawa, 12 Henry Chavancy (c), 11 Juan Imhoff, 10 Finn Russell, 9 Teddy Iribaren, 8 Antonie Claassen, 7 Fabien Sanconnie, 6 Wenceslas Lauret, 5 Dominic Bird, 4 Bernard Le Roux, 3 Georges Henri Colombe, 2 Camille Chat, 1 Eddy Ben Arous
Replacements: 16 Teddy Baubigny, 17 Hassane Kolingar, 18 Ali Oz, 19 Donnacha Ryan, 20 Boris Palu, 21 Maxime Machenaud, 22 Olivier Klemenczak, 23 Kurtley Beale
* Hehehe just channelling ExPro.
As foretold by Craigsman
On the telly
Friday 16th October
| Cheetahs v Bulls | 17:55 | Sky Sports Mix |
| Toulon v Bristol | 20:00 | BT Sport 2 |
Saturday 17th October
| Griquas v Pumas | 15:25 | Sky Sports Mix |
| Exeter v Racing 92 | 16:45 | Channel 4 / BT Sport 2 |
| Stormers v Lions | 17:55 | Sky Sports Mix |
Sunday 18th October
| New Zealand v Australia | 03:00 | Sky Sports Arena |
Ovally Balls 
The annoying thing is that I won’t be able to watch and Mrs Craig’s will tell me off for checking my phone every 30 seconds.
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Good words Craigs.
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Good work, Matt.
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OK, Brizzle (and Refit), good luck.
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Bloody hell, Brizzle! Try in 20 seconds!
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Ok, I’m not sure we could have started better than that.
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Oi, Brizzle! I was still pouring my drink!
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OK, they were a bit slow. Apparently it was scored in 15 seconds.
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Oh dear Bristol. Loose ball and Toulon score in the corner.
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That was a dangerous fumble.
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Gonna need whisky for this one….
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French lad with his coat collar as high up as it can go .
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After a flair try, Bristol score a power try from a maul.
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Off he goes, little dummy made I larf, especially as he ran straight into two blokes twice his size. Worked, though!
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Or maybe not. Dropped over the line?
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Etzebeth only 28? Seems as though he’s been around for longer.
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That will be a fantastic try if it stands! Touch and last pass checked.
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Think he was in touch there, but that was lovely.
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Forward pass. Shame.
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Please make Ugo Monye stop.
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Almost makes you pine for Austin Healy.
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Almost.
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Nick Mullins has told us 5 times that Carbonel has feet.
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Don’t really mind Mullins, but he does embellish things a bit. That’s his style, so I can go with it.
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Remarkably Toulon are winning 13-10 despite being shit.
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Dog’s just tried to cuddle a hedgehog. There was a yelp.
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Toulon are apparently good now they’re winning 16-10.
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Couple of big misses from Bristol costing them. They need to play a bit smarter in their own half, though.
Toulon are ok, nothing special, but Bristol have helped them back into the game.
Louis Carbonel has the flashiest of feet.
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I thought Toulon were a bit shit against Scarlets though they improved when they brought Carbonel’s feet on. They look a bit better tonight from what I’ve seen.
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Still expect Bristol to win.
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That pitch in Toulon was awful and Serin was hopeless at outside half, but, yes, much better than today.
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Oh, accidentally slipped a “than” in that last comment.
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Nice try Bristol!
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Yay!
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Good try by Malins. Bristol 26-19 up.
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Refit must be hiding behind the sofa, peeking through his fingers at this point.
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Did someone say something? Can’t see from the other room.
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More whisky needed….
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Some more champagne, to ease that pain….
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Ulsterman Afoa responsible for that scrum win.
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You can come out now Refit!! Well done Brizzle! Deserved winners.
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Congratulations, Refit (and a few other blokes from Bristol)!
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A win made in Wales. Well done, Bristol. Big congratulations, refit,
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The mister wants his Welsh no. 10 back.
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Well done Briz, and Refit, despite the idiot commentators trying to jinx them for the last 10 minutes.
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Judging by the players’ faces, I don’t think Toulon expected to lose this. They haven’t been paying attention this year.
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Well, that’s a good way to start the weekend :)
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Yes brizzle. Congrats refit.
In another universe I had enough time this arvo to predict this result too.
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Hadn’t realised the Toonie (no, not actually that one) links with Exeter. Too many Scots right enough….
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/rugby-union/54525649
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Many Congratulations, Refit, your team deserved it.
I’m still hoping to get to a game before the end of the coming season, after which my daughter will be away from Bristol – she loves the place
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