Pre-Ramble
And so it came to pass that the brave men of North London were vanquished by the dastardly Gallic hordes from Paris. Maidens wept as, with victory in sight, the dark sorcerer from beyond the Wall waved his spell and teleported the ball into the hands of a nefarious Argentinian who committed the most heinous of crimes and scored. All the brave fighting and sacrifice from these heroes undone in a second. All seemed lost. Sarries are doomed to smash lesser teams for many moons before being allowed back to play with the big boys. Who can stand up to the Scottish Wizard and his Parisian aristocrats?
Brave and mighty Rohan Exeter have answered that call despite the fact that they would prefer to dance on the graves of The Fallen whilst plundering their silverware. But that doesn’t fit my narrative so we’ll ignore it. They come seeking vengeance for their fallen kin!!!!
How do these teams compare? Who will win? Will it matter when the brave Londoners return from their exile to lay waste to all in their path? Let me make an uneducated guess … and copy some stuff from Wikipedia and other sites.
Racing 92
Quelle surprise innit, Teddy Thomas has been left out of the squad. Shirely this Try Scoring Machine is essential. I guess he must have Covid. In which case I wish him well but this is an unexpected gift to Exeter.
Elsewhere, Racing’s forwards (especially the tight five) are genuinely scary, as you would expect from a team in the European finals. They can compete in the scrum against anyone, and should lay a good foundation for the kids in the back seat.
We all know what Finn can do if given the opportunity and there is plenty of superstar strength, speed and guile (and cheating Irishmen*) outside him. Racing have a genuinely impressive team, and it is hard for this fan to find a chink in their armour. The only thing that I could think of is a highly cohesive team grinding them into the dirt….
Exeter
Mighty, mighty Exeter. Imagine them lining up on the hill, swords drawn, in full battle cry, riding down to trample the enemy…. Sorry, I got carried away there.
If anyone can stop Racing (apart from *sobs* Sarries) it’s them. They have brutal bastards up front and a game plan to crush teams into the dirt. They also have a high (the highest?) strike rate when in the opposition 22. If they can get into the ‘red zone’ enough times then they will win.
Their backs also have stardust with Henry Slade, Jack Nowell and Stuart Hogg CJ pleasing their way through opposition teams like Bruce Lee through a karate dojo or Joe Marler through some bollocks (or something).
The memory of love’s refrain
Prediction
Racing have the ability to strike in open play and I fancy them to get a couple of decent scores. I feel that they will have to play with a bit of structure to keep Exeter in their half, but that will be difficult against a team that typically like to keep hold of the ball. A lot rests on Finn Russell. If we see good Finn then it will be a close match and I fully expect him to pull out the jizz factor. Their Finishers also have buckets of jizz so I expect a late score or two.
Exeter’s key challenge is to maintain the fizzikality up front against the French team. Players like LCD, Jonny Gray and Dave Ewers need to pay out of their skin. Again, I expect them to do this. Later on I expect Hogg and/or Nowell to get onto the scoresheet with some well worked tries and the grown-ups start to get tired.
I hope it’s a belter, and these are two very good sides. I expect (want) Exeter to sneak it as they have the game plan for a final. It will be amazing if they do win given their journey. Similarly, Racing have been here before so I won’t begrudge them the win. If they do, it will be art over practicality, the rapier over the sledge hammer, Gallic joie de vivre over Anglo pragmatism. Probably won’t happen.
Final Score
Exeter 28 – 25 Racing 92
Teams
Exeter
Exeter: 15 Stuart Hogg, 14 Jack Nowell, 13 Henry Slade, 12 Ian Whitten, 11 Tom O’Flaherty, 10 Joe Simmonds (c), 9 Jack Maunder, 8 Sam Simmonds, 7 Jacques Vermeulen, 6 Dave Ewers, 5 Jonny Hill, 4 Jonny Gray, 3 Harry Williams, 2 Luke Cowan-Dickie, 1 Alec Hepburn
Replacements: 16 Jack Yeandle, 17 Ben Moon, 18 Tomas Francis, 19 Sam Skinner, 20 Jannes Kirsten, 21 Sam Hidalgo-Clyne, 22 Gareth Steenson, 23 Ollie Devoto
Racing 92
Racing: 15 Simon Zebo, 14 Louis Dupichot, 13 Virimi Vakatawa, 12 Henry Chavancy (c), 11 Juan Imhoff, 10 Finn Russell, 9 Teddy Iribaren, 8 Antonie Claassen, 7 Fabien Sanconnie, 6 Wenceslas Lauret, 5 Dominic Bird, 4 Bernard Le Roux, 3 Georges Henri Colombe, 2 Camille Chat, 1 Eddy Ben Arous
Replacements: 16 Teddy Baubigny, 17 Hassane Kolingar, 18 Ali Oz, 19 Donnacha Ryan, 20 Boris Palu, 21 Maxime Machenaud, 22 Olivier Klemenczak, 23 Kurtley Beale
* Hehehe just channelling ExPro.
As foretold by Craigsman
On the telly
Friday 16th October
| Cheetahs v Bulls | 17:55 | Sky Sports Mix |
| Toulon v Bristol | 20:00 | BT Sport 2 |
Saturday 17th October
| Griquas v Pumas | 15:25 | Sky Sports Mix |
| Exeter v Racing 92 | 16:45 | Channel 4 / BT Sport 2 |
| Stormers v Lions | 17:55 | Sky Sports Mix |
Sunday 18th October
| New Zealand v Australia | 03:00 | Sky Sports Arena |
Ovally Balls 
Bristol now formally on standby as Wasps report four new +ve tests.
Final decision Wednesday after further checks.
I am biased, but I would just award it to Exeter – they won the league by miles in reality – give the players etc a rest and move on to the new season and interntionals.
It’s á pity as Wasps Exeter would be a good match-up.
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CMW, He wasn’t qualified when first picked but definitely Welsh by the time he got the captaincy.
Now runs his own flooring business in Swansea.
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Martin Hall must be Welsh. Look at the surname, it’s got the letter ‘ll’ in it.
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There’s a great picture on FB of Hoggy, Finn and Jonny having a chat after the game. Not sure where the original is, so don’t know if I can get a link up on here. There was also one yesterday of Hoggy and Finn.
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Here you go, BB:
https://www.shutterstock.com/editorial/image-editorial/exeter-chiefs-v-racing-92-rugby-union-heineken-champions-cup-final-ashton-gate-bristol-uk-17-oct-2020-10963930f
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shutterstock.com/editorial/image-editorial/exeter-chiefs-v-racing-92-rugby-union-heineken-champions-cup-final-ashton-gate-bristol-uk-17-oct-2020-10963930d
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Thanks TomP, that’s the one.
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A good news in these testing times: My lad is a confirmed Marxist!
We watched Duck Soup yesterday and he laughed his head off for an hour. Am very relieved.
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Je suis Marxiste, tendance Groucho, as the old gag goes
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@Slade – from a sporting point of view it should be postponed until Wasps can play. If that’s not possible (seems reasonable to think it isn’t) then anything other than awarding the title to Exeter is nonsense.
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“Now runs his own flooring business in Swansea.”
That in itself makes him more Welsh than anything we’ve heard about this Martin Hall character so far.
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Though what we haven’t heard is on what basis (if any) he qualified.
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@cmw
That’s never been made clear. He couldn’t explain it either.
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The need for English or Australian people not to be English or Australian in order to be able to have a World Cup would be the obvious suspect…
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He’s an upstart, TomP!
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Good result for the mighty Wolves, but awful performance.
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@Ticht – ‘Dw i’n Marcsist, tendwns Harpo’ might be more fitting in this instance.
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Well, it is a professional sport now, and if a club cannot fulfill its contractual obligations for any reason, I don’t see why the next in line shouldn’t be able to replace them, if they are able to. Go Brizzle.
Also, nice of Bielsa to let Wolves have a win, he is a right crafty fellow. I’m sure it’s all part of the masterplan.
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@SBT – the notion of a side winning the championship after being stuffed out of sight in a knockout match is a joke. That said if they end up getting the gig and I get a chance to watch it I’ll support them as I’m a sucker for the underdog. From a sporting point of view although it was a joke my suggestion of Sale playing it instead would actually make more sense as they would almost certainly have made the playoffs but for Covid and haven’t lost a semi-final. What I’d really do if Wasps can’t play is give the title to Exeter and due to the fortuitous circumstances play the inaugural European Super Cup Final as a separate event.
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Is there any financial benefit in playing this playoff final and, if so, to whom?
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Presumably there would be a financial loss if they didn’t due to not providing the content for the TV.
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The mirror scene? No? Showed that to my lads and even now they re-enact the bit where Groucho spins and Harpo waits.
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That made him almost delirious. He loved the peanuts/lemonade scene as well. And Harpo hiding in Edgar Kennedy’s bath. And all of it.
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Going to have to watch Duck Soup again now.
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Anyone got a good link ?
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CMW- Cup winners cup, Bristol vs Exeter ?
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SBT – pretty much, yes – though in football that was between the winners of the various national cups. The football equivalent would be the European (or UEFA) Super Cup – these days played between the winners of the Champions Cup and the Europa League. Back when there was a European Cup Winners Cup it was the winner of that against the winner of the Champions Cup i.e. the UEFA Cup was in those days the third competition (the ‘not champions, cup losers cup’) though in practice it tended to be more competitive than the Cup Winners Cup (they’ve since been merged).
I think the idea has some appeal in the current circumstances, I’ve decided it’s how I will see it if Bristol do end up as Exeter’s opposition.
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“I held him in my arms, and kissed him”
My favourite bit
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Ah, just behind the mirror scene.
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Iksy, my lad says this means war. He’s already rented a battlefield for a month so doesn’t want to back out.
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Man United wearing a hideous kit against PSG.
https://www.footyheadlines.com/2020/03/manchester-united-20-21-third-kit-dazzle-camo.html
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Winning, though.
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Maybe PSG are dazzled by the stripes.
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Some hair-raising stories in this:
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2020/11/squash-lacrosse-niche-sports-ivy-league-admissions/616474/
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Marcus Rashford, should’ve played for Everton in the 80s, has been pretty poor overall but may have just won the game.
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Brizzle OOT!
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Be careful, Scottish types:
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-54616178
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Cows OOT!!
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Two deaths in England this year too from cow gang attacks on innocent walkers. I’m with Craigs, Ban Cows Now!
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I know you were all gagging to know…..
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Subs….
16. Dave Heffernan (Connacht/Buccaneers)
17. Ed Byrne (Leinster/UCD)
18. Finlay Bealham (Connacht/Corinthians)
19. Ultan Dillane (Connacht/Corinthians)
20. Peter O’Mahony (Munster/Cork Constitution)
21. Jamison Gibson-Park (Leinster)
22. Ross Byrne (Leinster/UCD)
23. Robbie Henshaw (Leinster/Buccaneers)
Ed Byrne and Gibson-Park are uncapped….. and Lowe isn’t available till November sometime
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I have made sure that all my lot know that the Killer Coos of Hob Moor (our local stray) eat a number of small girls every year.
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Iirc CJ new how to deal with errant horses. I wonder if his skills are transferable.
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Trisk – who replaces Sexy if he gets injured?
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*knew
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@Craigs – Ross Byrne
Gets a bit confusing with the all the Byrnes (and variants thereof) …. Harry, Brian, Adam
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Wasps cleared for Final!!!!! Is there a sting in the tail after all?
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Cheers Trisk. Yeah, there’s a few Byrne’s in there!
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