Kinshasa, Part III

Part I | Part II

Kinshasa-Matadi ‘Highway’ – no idea how long the wreck had been there,
quite possibly weeks or longer.

Having left Matadi and a newly enriched Customs Officer, we drove back on the Kinshasa road to Lufu, or any of the other names that towns in this part of Africa get called, depending on your language and which side of the border you nominally originate from. Lufu gets its name from the Lufu River, which runs from northern Angola to the Congo River (presumably) traversing the sliver of land that King Leopold managed to get to ensure that his colony had access to the sea. It’s less a town on the Congolese side and more of a crazy, uncontrolled (to the unfamiliar eye) trading post, where commodities ranging from cement and rebar to beer, plastic products, clothes and bulk food items, are traded across borders depending on exchange rates, availability, who you’re paying off and whether you’ve fuel in your truck (or motorbike for the micro-traders) to make it to Kinshasa.

Mo spent a good deal of the journey speaking to his boss and explaining the loss of US$800 and whether it was worth approaching their friend, the head of police in Kinshasa, to try to get it back. It was decided that route would be more costly in the longer run. “You sleep in shitty hotel tonight!” roared Mo laughing away, because we had to overnight in the nearby town of Kimpese in order to finish our investigation after the delays.

Road to our hotel in Kimpese

Kimpese is more hamlet than town, more shithole (thanks Dumb Donald!) than hamlet, with a handful of streets of formal houses and potholed dirt roads hidden behind the chaos and colour of the roadside informal trade. It’s also the epicentre of the cement industry in this part of the DRC, with all of the plants within a few kilometres of each other, located on huge limestone reserves.

Village near ‘our’ limestone deposit. Almost nobody here will get a job there,
because they have no education of use to a modern industrial plant.
Sang Jerusalem for Cat on driving past this dark, satanic mill.

The grandly-named Hotel Espace Nzilco was our place for the evening, and it looked as inviting as Mo had described it as. We checked in, Mo slipping the receptionist a little something extra with a none too subtle wink and grin, and went to unpack. Basically, the rooms are bungalows and resembled old military quarters from Belgian days, which a number of places I’ve stayed in in the DRC were. No Wi-Fi, so the bar and dinner it would be. Mo was already in full flight buying beer and whisky and chatting to whoever was in the bar. “My expensive friend!” he shouted as I walked in, telling the story in French to those listening and laughing. “Come! Drink shit whisky from you British and good beer from us Congolese!” Right on both counts. I chatted to a couple of Pakistani guys I’d worked with a couple of years before on a project not too far away. They drank like fish in the solid knowledge that what the imam couldn’t see, he couldn’t tell Allah (their words, more or less, not mine). Mo’s roving eye after a very good dinner of peri-peri chicken, freshwater fish and vegetables was my cue to grab a couple of bottles of beer and head to bed.

Courtesy vehicle at Hotel Espace Nzilco, our lodgings for the night!

The next morning, we drove back to Lufu to inspect the border and try to understand the volumes of product crossing it, but we couldn’t get too close to the police or customs officials on account of my dodgy passport. We did some sums in the drizzle, and spoke to traders bemoaning the broken bridge, which would only take small vehicles as some of the supports had collapsed, meaning the cement and steel trucks had to offload onto small trucks and cars, get the goods over and then load up on trucks again on the other side. The Angolans, supplying most of the goods, wanted to fix it but the Congolese, trying to protect their dire, expensive and corrupt local industries were happy enough to leave it be to increase the costs of getting stuff to their side.

A bridge across a small stream – intact!

After a while watching, and trying to take pictures without getting seen (“No fuckin’ click-click – these cops’ fuckin crazy!”), we headed back out with a rough idea of what was going on. On the muddy, slippery road you have to drive slowly, but not everyone does. We saw a small truck lose control and careen down a small embankment, spilling all the fresh produce and breaking most of the beer it was transporting. The owner of the stock, a young lady, was sobbing. As much as the fright she got, that was her income gone for a few weeks, maybe more. Life on the margins is tough. It’s shit. Mo accelerated past the gathering crowd, all of whom were offering opinions as to whose fault the accident was.

Just before the mini-bus lost its load (not in picture, obviously, and the photo
doesn’t really give a sense of how slippery and potholed the road is – and unstable
on the sides, with bits caving in if large trucks get too close to the edges).

We got to the second town of Kongo Central Province, Mbanza Ngungu, and got stuck in the ubiquitous funeral procession, apparently for a well-known local musician. Mo wasn’t in the mood for dishing out cash, and kept his window closed. Apparently his wife was waiting for him. We got back to Kin without any further delays, and I’ve never been so happy to see a proper bed, hot running water, a restaurant and, most of all, familiarity.

Grilled Congolese prawns after a long trip – spectacular!

A last day in Kin and I had an excellent meeting with a young guy from the investment promotion agency. Chatting through what I needed in terms of project information and our trip to Lufu, he smiled and said, “but we collect that trade data – even the informal trade, so we can know if our traders are being honest with volumes and prices”, and proceeded to e-mail the spreadsheets on the spot. What a win!

With a spring in my step, I went into my final meeting, with the national power company, looking for an outline of current and upcoming projects. The cantankerous bastard wouldn’t have been out of place in a recreation of Heart of Darkness and openly asked for money. Two faces of the Congo in one day, one old, one new; one condemning 80 million to poverty, the other swimming upstream to create a better life. All with the memory of the broken woman fresh in my mind.

It’s the Congo. It’s tough. It hurts you in ways you don’t expect; it thrills you in ways you can’t explain. It hardens you and teaches you humility and kindness all in one. It leaves you exhausted and angry; it creates a kaleidoscope of memories, vivid, jarring and spectacular. It never disappoints.

Not sure what sort of victory they’re promising, but I passed on the bread.

As told by serial luncher Deebee7.

Super Saturday, only 7 months late!

Ireland, England and France all still have a chance of winning the Six Nations.

In the unlikely event that Ireland beat France with a bonus point, they will win regardless of the other results. If they beat France, but without a bonus point, they still win if England fail to get a bonus point against Italy. If England win with a bonus point – as you’d expect them to – then it will come down to points difference, with Ireland currently being 23 points ahead.

If Ireland lose or draw, and England win, then England get the title, unless France win and have a better result than England’s victory in terms of championship points or, if on the same points, the points difference in scores. If they end up with the same points and points difference, then it comes down to tries scored, where France are currently ahead by 13-9.

Clear? Let’s play!

Onna telly this week

Friday 30th October

Lions v Griquas16:55Sky Sports Mix

Saturday 31st October

Australia v New Zealand08:45Sky Sports Arena
Wales v Scotland14:15BBC1 / S4C
Pumas v Sharks14:25Sky Sports Arena
Italy v England16:45ITV / STV
Bulls v Stormers16:55Sky Sports Arena
France v Ireland20:05BBC1 / BBC2

Sunday 1st November

Dragons v Munster14:00S4C / TG4 / Premier Sports 2
Connacht v Treviso16:30TG4 / Premier Sports 2
Italy v England (women)17:00Sky Sports Arena
Scarlets v Edinburgh18:45Premier Sports 1

Monday 2nd November

Cardiff v Ulster18:00Premier Sports 2
Zebre v Ospreys19:15Premier Sports 1
Glasgow v Leinster20:15Premier Sports 1

553 thoughts on “Kinshasa, Part III

  1. sunbeamtim's avatarsunbeamtim

    Couldn’t have gone better. Cream on the cake would be someone rustling up a video of a guy wearing a big democrat hat while tearing up Trump votes.

    Like

  2. sunbeamtim's avatarsunbeamtim

    Tight, but with big postal votes from Philly, Atlanta and Milwaukee still to come, OT’s bet still looks in play. Donald, just shut up and accept defeat gracefully.

    Like

  3. sunbeamtim's avatarsunbeamtim

    Forgot to mention Detroit too. Biden may well squeak Pennsylvania, Georgia, Michigan and Wisconsin. Worst possible outcome would be a disputed vote going to the supreme court for a final decision.

    Like

  4. Sbt – I’m rooting for OT.

    Like

  5. OurTerry's avatarOurTerry

    Me too.

    Like

  6. ClydeMillarWynant's avatarClydeMillarWynant

    How long can Biden live for if OT’s to get the loot?

    Like

  7. Wow, this is something:

    Like

  8. OurTerry's avatarOurTerry

    @cmw

    How long can Biden live for if OT’s to get the loot?

    He can live forever if he wants, they just have to find a way of not swearing him in as president.

    Like

  9. So is this:

    Liked by 1 person

  10. tompirracas's avatartompirracas

    Kaunda Ntunja, the first talking head in that and the guy on isiXhosa commentary, died earlier this year from the Rona.

    There’s a great clip of Mapimpi going back to his village after the World Cup. I couldn’t find it but there’s this:

    Like

  11. tompirracas's avatartompirracas

    OT, what if the USA breaks into two warring factions and Biden decides to stand down as President-Designate of the Rebel Alliance in favour of Harris. Do you still get the cash?

    Like

  12. OurTerry's avatarOurTerry

    @tomp

    It depends if Harris is Mon Mothma or Princess Leia in this scenario

    Like

  13. Can’t hear the commentary on that clip of Mapimpi, but I can tell you that in the Eastern Cape rugby is way ahead of football as the sport of choice in all communities. When you think of the amazing talent coming out of that province, it just makes you even angrier that the scum who ran the Kings ripped it off and collapsed it so badly. Much the same has happened to Cricket South Africa. Of the original 31 picked for the World Cup last year, 11 were born in Western Cape (Stormers), with the Kings and Pumas (just about in the top tier of the Currie Cup but would never get a gig in Super Rugby) each providing 4 more players, followed by the Cheetahs with 3. Rassie Erasmus is an Eastern Caper through and through too.

    Obviously – pedant alert – being born somewhere doesn’t mean that’s where you learned your rugby, but the Kings and Cheetahs regions produce great players year in and out, but they get poached by Scotland the bigger unions. And then kicked in the teeth by SA Rugby. Arseholes.

    Like

  14. tompirracas's avatartompirracas

    That’s my Star Trek knowledge all used up. What would happen if it was the former? And the latter?

    Like

  15. OurTerry's avatarOurTerry

    I either lose a tenner or gain 10 grand. Not sure which way round though.

    Like

  16. tichtheid2's avatartichtheid2

    That was a very emotional clip, the try was sensational, just brilliant.

    Like

  17. tompirracas's avatartompirracas

    Deebs, MM’s from Border so the poor relations of the poor relations. Did Rassie ever play for EP? I thought he went to Bloem for senior rugby. Even the great Danie Gerber ended up in Cape Town.

    The Kings were in a tough position from the start. Late to the Super Rugby table and then screwed. The shite management, lack of a ground etc didn’t help.

    What’s the score with WP rugby? That seems in a real state.

    Like

  18. tichtheid2's avatartichtheid2

    Deebs, Schoey said on FB the other day (we’re not on personal terms, but his posts appear in the Embra fans group) that our short-term loan signing Andries Ferreira was a senior at his school when he started. Along with WP Nel and Mike Willemse they made up half our pack on Sunday and they made mincemeat of the Scarlets 8.

    I don’t pretend to have a solution to South African rugby’s position, but I am grateful for the players we have

    Willemse less so right enough.

    Like

  19. Ticht, the only real solution is for our unions to be able to match yours in terms of packages offered to players, but with 14 provincial unions, each with a professional side, uni and/or club sides paying wages to many players and a currency worth less than a Donald Trump pledge on diversity and inclusion, that’s not gonna happen. Of course, not stealing and squandering whatever money is available would be immensely helpful.

    Like

  20. Border is in the Kings pond, I think? I think Rassie played for Free State because he went to uni in Bloemfontein, not PE. Proud Despatch boy – just like Danie Gerber. For those who don’t know, Despatch is a small town about 35km from Port Elizabeth in the Eastern Cape, best known for being the home of Danie Gerber, and now Rassie Erasmus as well. Uitenhage on the other side of it has an automotive cluster and the guys from Uitenhage/Despatch are notoriously tough bastards on the rugby field.

    Like

  21. sunbeamtim's avatarsunbeamtim

    This is going to run and run. If there is any truth in it, and other similar cases come to light, we could be looking at weeks, not days.
    https://lawandcrime.com/2020-election/republicans-file-election-day-lawsuit-aimed-at-mail-in-ballots-in-pennsylvania/

    Like

  22. tompirracas's avatartompirracas

    Ticht, the other second row in the Affies 2008 team was Quin Roux.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. So with the lockdown starting tomorrow and the US election rumbling on I did the responsible thing and put a meeting in my work diary and then went to the pub all afternoon. Might become a regular thing post lockdown as no one seems to have noticed.

    Liked by 2 people

  24. Triskaidekaphobia's avatarTriskaidekaphobia

    put a meeting in my work diary and then went to the pub all afternoon

    Most sensible thing I’ve heard this year.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. thaumaturge's avatarthaumaturge

    Michigan’s tipped over into Biden leading. If Biden wins the 3 states (Michigan, Wisconsin and Nevada) that he’s currently leading in, that’s exactly 270 electoral college votes. A win!

    Like

  26. thaumaturge's avatarthaumaturge

    I think he’ll take Pennsylvania and maybe Georgia too.

    Like

  27. Trisk – it was a moment of absolute clarity.

    Liked by 1 person

  28. slademightbe#42again's avatarsladeis#42

    Trump demands recount in Wisconsin.
    He must know that this is pointless so what is the hidden strategy?

    Like

  29. OurTerry's avatarOurTerry

    This is why my 1000-1 bet isn’t completely off the wall, unfortunately

    Like

  30. slademightbe#42again's avatarsladeis#42

    Hastings and Russell out of autumn campaign……….

    Like

  31. If Joe the Gaff is gaffing after all the votes are in, then he can introduce HIS grandchild as Cruella DeVille, can’t he?

    C’mon Kamala!

    Like

  32. Not sure where that HIS came from. Maybe Joe can explain.

    Like

  33. Anyway, I finally read Kinshasa part III. Vivid and very enjoyable read Deebee, thank you. What a life you lead. I’d do it too for the good beer and great prawns, as long as the empty pockets and awful beds are few and far between. Thank you!

    Liked by 3 people

  34. sunbeamtim's avatarsunbeamtim

    All we need to know now is which pub, Craigs.

    Like

  35. thaumaturge's avatarthaumaturge

    Yay Michigan, the shithole where I used to live.

    Liked by 1 person

  36. Sbt – I had to come home I’m afraid. But the Woolpack in Tenterden does great bar food.

    Like

  37. Thaum – is that confirmed?

    Like

  38. thaumaturge's avatarthaumaturge

    Some news outlets have confirmed; AP has not as yet. But since most of the counties remaining to declare are in the heavily-populated and Dem-leaning Detroit area, it seems like a good bet.

    (Oakland county has some seriously wealthy pockets, but it’s not Trump-insane.)

    Like

  39. Thaum – that’s excellent news. Lol to the Trump family tax returns in a few years.

    Like

  40. sunbeamtim's avatarsunbeamtim

    Looking like a done deal now, fingers crossed noone manages to find genuine Democratic voter fraud.
    Been in a lot of pubs round there, Craigs, not that one. Fancy an afternoon in an old pub right now, nothing like a few unplanned afternoon pints .

    Like

  41. sunbeamtim's avatarsunbeamtim

    Ha, no, am lying, have been there, in fact stayed night once many moons ago.

    Like

  42. Sbt – it was bought by Hush Heath vineyard and recently refurbished. It’s quite nice and the food is good.

    Like

  43. sunbeamtim's avatarsunbeamtim

    Yup, saw the pics. Looks nice Was a bit crusty as I recall, nearly 20 years ago.

    Like

  44. Michigan confirmed.

    Like

  45. Cool t shirt

    Like

  46. tichtheid2's avatartichtheid2

    That’s the Trump presidency in 30 seconds.

    Liked by 2 people

  47. OurTerry's avatarOurTerry

    Apparently there’s a couple of districts in Wisconsin that have recorded a 200% voter turnout. Joe Biden must be very popular there.

    Like

  48. tompirracas's avatartompirracas

    There aren’t, OT.

    Anyway, ballot stuffing is a fine American tradition. An Irish-American Catholic Democrat won an election through a bit of cheating but was then replaced by his Veep before seeing through his term so you should be cheering it on(, even though it’s not true). Just get your pasty to speed up the process.

    Like

  49. OurTerry's avatarOurTerry

    An Irish-American Catholic

    “Vote early and vote often”

    Like

  50. tompirracas's avatartompirracas

    Patsy rather than pasty. But a good auto correct by the phone Would make the the Conspiracy theories even more exciting. Lee Harvey Oswald, the Cornish Connection .

    Liked by 2 people

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