Preview: Nations Cup, Round One

The Nations Cup. My goodness, savour that. The Nations Cup. Mmm. The very name is redolent of a crackling log fire on an autumn afternoon. But wait, there’s more! Amazon Prime. That tingling feeling? That’s the realisation that a major re-structuring of European rugby broadcasting is upon us. Who says 2020’s been a miserable year?

Amazon Prime – not sure how much tax they pay – have put together a crack team of broadcasters and ex-player pundits who have only ever appeared on the BBC or ITV or Channel 4 or Channel 5 or BTSport or Sky before. As industry insider Phelam Hill put it, “[Amazon] will want to do something that is wholly different, not a vanilla broadcast”. More pertinently, they’ll be getting some good advertising bucks in the run-up to Christmas, and they’ll synergistically allow customers to make an impulse purchase of a replica England shirt (size XXXL)  with “George 2“ on the back when the Saracens hooker (size XXXL) flops over the line after a drive from a five-metre line-out. Win-win for Bezos’s boys and girls.

To the games, then.

Ireland v Wales (an empty Aviva stadium)

It’s only been a few months since Ireland sent Wales packing with a comfortable win in front of 50,000 fans. It seems likely that Friday night’s game will see a similar result. Yet there are crumbs of comfort for Wales. Jacob Stockdale has gone from free-scoring winger to defensively awkward full-back this Autumn and this could be something Wales will look to exploit with an effective kicking game.

First task: find an effective kicking game.

Second, increasingly tetchy short-distance kicker Jonny Sexton has been underwhelming since the great re-start, and his replacement is Ulster’s own (import from Gloucester) Mr Billy Burns. Can two men lose a game on their own?

Nah. Ireland should have too much for Wales, and if their line-out functions, expect a couple of tries from short drives followed by a series of pick-and-goes. Plus, they have Leinster’s Jimmy Lowe on debut and he’ll pick up at least one score. Wales’ll get a consolation or two.

Italy v Scotland (an empty Stadio Artemio Franchi, Florence)

It’s only a few months since these two met in a match that has been ruled an instrument of torture by a recent European Court of Human Rights ruling. Scotland had the boy Adam Hastings standing in at 10 that day, as stand-out stand-off Finn Russell had been stood down after standing a couple too many beers. Finn returned, but both he and Hastings got crocked against Wales, so the call came for the Worcester Wizard, Wee Duncan Weir, to step up in the key position.

And … Wee Duncy has grown his hair! People often ask me, “What’s NOT vanilla broadcasting?“ and I always say, “Talking about Duncan Weir’s hair and making rather unfunny jokes about it“. Trust me, there’ll be no vanilla broadcasting on Amazon Prime.

Italy are not good. They have some okay players: Polledri is a fine runner/smasher and the young outside half Paolo Garbisi has something about him, but they’re not going to be doing much against what’s turning into a pretty effective Scottish side.

England v Georgia (an empty Twickenham stadium)

There’re certain things that one’s duty bound to mention when you talk about Georgia:

• props;
• scrummaging;
• the ancient game of Lelos;
• their nickname, the Lelos, which comes from the ancient game of Lelos;
• scrummaging;
• Gorgadze;
• scrummaging;
• some platitude from some coach of some other team about how good their scrummaging is;
• props;
• and, scrummaging.

What you won’t hear much about are their backs. Which means I’m rather lost, though I like the young half-backs. Sadly, after a very so-so performance v Scotland, full-back Soso Matiashvili misses out.

Anyway, Georgia have got a great record in the 6 Nations B competition: two losses in ten years, and this is the shop window for them, scrummaging etc.

England will crush them.

France v Fiji (an empty Stade de la Rabine, Vannes)

This is the one to get the old mouth watering. Is it a coincidence that the two sides that play with the most flair both have a name that also begins with F? It is, really, but coincidences are vanilla. Expect fireworks (also begins with F) and some frantic, frenzied play from both sides.

But what those two sides look like is not exactly what you’d hope for. Semi Radrada has tested positive for the Rona so misses out, and Peceli Yato dropped out of the Fiji squad earlier. On top of that, a good number of the squad tested positive for the Rona a couple of weeks ago and a scheduled warm-up game v Portugal got canned as a result.

Still, they’ve got the marvellous Tuisova on the wing, and he’s turning out alongside eight other players who earn a baguette in France.

The hosts, meanwhile, look set to name a fairly strong side, surprising to me as there’s a reported agreement between the FFR and the clubs limiting how many games players can appear in this autumn. You’ve got to trust Foxy Fabien Galthie, a coach who, it seems, has worked out a plan for the great under-achievers of the 2010s.   What will double definitely happen: The commentators will spend a lot of time talking about how great Antoine Dupoint is.

As foretold by TomPirracas

Onna telly this week

Friday 13th November

Griquas v Sharks	16:55	Sky Sports Arena
Ireland v Wales	19:00	Channel 4 / S4C

Saturday 14th November

Munster v Ospreys	14:45	S4C / FreeSports
Glasgow v Dragons	18:30	Premier Sports 2

Monday 16th November