The Nations Cup. My goodness, savour that. The Nations Cup. Mmm. The very name is redolent of a crackling log fire on an autumn afternoon. But wait, there’s more! Amazon Prime. That tingling feeling? That’s the realisation that a major re-structuring of European rugby broadcasting is upon us. Who says 2020’s been a miserable year?
Amazon Prime – not sure how much tax they pay – have put together a crack team of broadcasters and ex-player pundits who have only ever appeared on the BBC or ITV or Channel 4 or Channel 5 or BTSport or Sky before. As industry insider Phelam Hill put it, “[Amazon] will want to do something that is wholly different, not a vanilla broadcast”. More pertinently, they’ll be getting some good advertising bucks in the run-up to Christmas, and they’ll synergistically allow customers to make an impulse purchase of a replica England shirt (size XXXL) with “George 2“ on the back when the Saracens hooker (size XXXL) flops over the line after a drive from a five-metre line-out. Win-win for Bezos’s boys and girls.
To the games, then.
Ireland v Wales (an empty Aviva stadium)
It’s only been a few months since Ireland sent Wales packing with a comfortable win in front of 50,000 fans. It seems likely that Friday night’s game will see a similar result. Yet there are crumbs of comfort for Wales. Jacob Stockdale has gone from free-scoring winger to defensively awkward full-back this Autumn and this could be something Wales will look to exploit with an effective kicking game.
First task: find an effective kicking game.
Second, increasingly tetchy short-distance kicker Jonny Sexton has been underwhelming since the great re-start, and his replacement is Ulster’s own (import from Gloucester) Mr Billy Burns. Can two men lose a game on their own?
Nah. Ireland should have too much for Wales, and if their line-out functions, expect a couple of tries from short drives followed by a series of pick-and-goes. Plus, they have Leinster’s Jimmy Lowe on debut and he’ll pick up at least one score. Wales’ll get a consolation or two.
Italy v Scotland (an empty Stadio Artemio Franchi, Florence)
It’s only a few months since these two met in a match that has been ruled an instrument of torture by a recent European Court of Human Rights ruling. Scotland had the boy Adam Hastings standing in at 10 that day, as stand-out stand-off Finn Russell had been stood down after standing a couple too many beers. Finn returned, but both he and Hastings got crocked against Wales, so the call came for the Worcester Wizard, Wee Duncan Weir, to step up in the key position.
And … Wee Duncy has grown his hair! People often ask me, “What’s NOT vanilla broadcasting?“ and I always say, “Talking about Duncan Weir’s hair and making rather unfunny jokes about it“. Trust me, there’ll be no vanilla broadcasting on Amazon Prime.
Italy are not good. They have some okay players: Polledri is a fine runner/smasher and the young outside half Paolo Garbisi has something about him, but they’re not going to be doing much against what’s turning into a pretty effective Scottish side.
England v Georgia (an empty Twickenham stadium)
There’re certain things that one’s duty bound to mention when you talk about Georgia:
- props;
- scrummaging;
- the ancient game of Lelos;
- their nickname, the Lelos, which comes from the ancient game of Lelos;
- scrummaging;
- Gorgadze;
- scrummaging;
- some platitude from some coach of some other team about how good their scrummaging is;
- props;
- and, scrummaging.
What you won’t hear much about are their backs. Which means I’m rather lost, though I like the young half-backs. Sadly, after a very so-so performance v Scotland, full-back Soso Matiashvili misses out.
Anyway, Georgia have got a great record in the 6 Nations B competition: two losses in ten years, and this is the shop window for them, scrummaging etc.
England will crush them.
France v Fiji (an empty Stade de la Rabine, Vannes)
This is the one to get the old mouth watering. Is it a coincidence that the two sides that play with the most flair both have a name that also begins with F? It is, really, but coincidences are vanilla. Expect fireworks (also begins with F) and some frantic, frenzied play from both sides.
But what those two sides look like is not exactly what you’d hope for. Semi Radrada has tested positive for the Rona so misses out, and Peceli Yato dropped out of the Fiji squad earlier. On top of that, a good number of the squad tested positive for the Rona a couple of weeks ago and a scheduled warm-up game v Portugal got canned as a result.
Still, they’ve got the marvellous Tuisova on the wing, and he’s turning out alongside eight other players who earn a baguette in France.
The hosts, meanwhile, look set to name a fairly strong side, surprising to me as there’s a reported agreement between the FFR and the clubs limiting how many games players can appear in this autumn. You’ve got to trust Foxy Fabien Galthie, a coach who, it seems, has worked out a plan for the great under-achievers of the 2010s. What will double definitely happen: The commentators will spend a lot of time talking about how great Antoine Dupoint is.
As foretold by TomPirracas
Onna telly this week
Friday 13th November
| Griquas v Sharks | 16:55 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Ireland v Wales | 19:00 | Channel 4 / S4C |
Saturday 14th November
| New Zealand v Argentina | 06:10 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Italy v Scotland | 12:45 | Amazon Prime |
| France v England (women) | 13:15 | BBC Two |
| Lions v Pumas | 14:25 | Sky Sports Arena |
| England v Georgia | 15:00 | Amazon Prime |
| Stormers v Cheetahs | 16:55 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Connacht v Scarlets | 19:35 | Premier Sports 2 |
Sunday 15th November
| Munster v Ospreys | 14:45 | S4C / FreeSports |
| Glasgow v Dragons | 18:30 | Premier Sports 2 |
Monday 16th November
| Zebre v Ulster | 18:00 | Premier Sports 2 |
| Leinster v Edinburgh | 20:15 | Premier Sports 2 |
| Cardiff v Treviso | 20:15 | Premier Sports 1 |
Ovally Balls 
Feel like sending him to Oldham with a big banner saying “Driving Instructor! In all of Oldham! Cheap!”
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Ripponden Road would be Andy Barlow and/or Andy Goram cos they lived in Moorside.
Shaw/Buckstones Road would be Andy Ritchie or Ian Marshall cos they lived round there. Although Andy Rhodes would have a shout because he got arrested for drunk driving at the squash club there. He claimed had driven to the chippy but it was shut, so went and had a few beers in the squash club instead.
That’s a lot of Andys.
Roger Palmer lives in Sale so on a different patch.
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No Sexton – Ireland by lots
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One for Iksy:
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Seems France should send its strongest team in Scotland with the exception of injured Ntamack. Carbonel (from Toulon) steps in.
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should be a good game. Less confident of a win this time than the 6N game which I thought we’d sneak.
Our injury list is mounting up. Weir is OK but a step down from Finn or Hastings and Sutherland now out is a fairly big blow. Question marks over Ritchie too.
Not seen much of Carbonel, is he better than Jalibert who looks a bit flaky in defence?
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Chimp, I prefer Jalibert (and would probably choose him over Ntamack) but I think Galthié keeps him for the latter games. He maybe in the new list for Scotland but I havent be able to find it.
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Carbonel is quite good by the way but a bit more traditional, less of an attacking threat. They all kick well.
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Billy Burns having a head injury assesment, who is next in line if he is broken ?
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I know BTSport but I like this:
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I watched the whole Arg vs Abs game and noticed that the Pumas no11 kept running sideways. If only England had someone who did that.
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More good news on the vaccine front
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-54902908
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SBT, i don’t know who is next in line, but the younger Byrne at Leinster is very good, though he’s playing tonight against Edinburgh
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Craigs, did you watch it live, or have you got a link to the game replay ?
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SBT,
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TomP, I watched it live and I wasn’t expecting much more than a valiant Argentina to come out all guns blazing, give the Kiwis a runaround for 30 minutes and then get overrun as fitness told and a superior Kiwi backline blasted them off the park. By half time I was a bit stunned at the ferocity and structure of the Pumas, not to mention the patience and as the second half developed I started to get more and more nervous, willing and wishing the Pumas on, especially in the last 15 minutes or so as they endured wave after of BlakAttaq™ and just kept knocking them back, turning it over, conceding penalties and keeping their shape at the subsequent lineouts and scrums – it was brilliant!
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Sbt – wot tomp sed
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Probably the elder Byrne – Ross. I doubt we’d start with Murray. Maybe Carty – but Carty always seems better aligned to an open game and I doubt we’ll throw it around vs Eng.
As Ticht says – Byrne minor looks good, Healy at Munster has played well enough in Pro 14, and I know Ulster fans like Lowry. Probably a year or two before any of those are starting. We’ve got quite a lot of “promising” out-halves – but no-one really forcing Sexton out the door yet – maybe too many…. where do you get the chance to get so many of them proper game time?
Henshaw is also out – so that’s a dilemma…. Aki in at 12 with Farrell? It’s all a bit crashball. I’d prefer to see McCloskey given a run – he seems to offer a bit of offloading. Suspect Earls may remain on the bench in case of an injury in back 5.
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Lowry is very promising, but in no way ready to start at 10 for Ireland. I too would like to see McCloskey in at 12.
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Ha, Ireland centre debate. Anyone got any views on Englands 12 and 13?
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I think they should put in some really shite players.
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England centres? -play them in their club positions!!!!
Jones will get Slade broken
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Slade at 13 ?
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Crazy Zebrean try. 7 all after ten mins.
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Excellent TomP. That Newport winger floating in those excellent lineout balls deserves a medal.
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It’s my belief that 8 tries is worth a second bonus point. (Unless it’s scored by Leinster or Saracens, of course).
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… Or I’d settle for 9.
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14-57 at FT. Four of those tries were Coetzee’s. Thanks, Deebs!
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Thaum – what about an extra point if the difference is more than 20 or you nil the other team?
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Nah, you should lose points for that.
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Cardiff beat Bennetton 22-5 in miserable conditions. Edinburgh getting an absolute pasting in Dublin.
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Craigs – not sure 20 is enough, and as for a nilling, what about those splendiferous 3-0 matches?
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Just watched the replay, thanks TomP. Wow. Thats a game of rugby. In tears with the Argies for the last few minutes. OK, Sanchez MoM, but the Pumas front row played 70 minutes, and Montoya nearly 80. Matera, when he arrived at Leicester, looked full of energy but very raw, he was absolutely immense. Boy has he learned. Every one of that 23, and the coaches, should be able to get free meals anywhere in Argentina for the rest of their lives.
Think the ABs were really lucky not to have had a couple of yellows in the first half too.
Good job I didn’t watch it live, might have been a bit too much for my poor old ticker.
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Pleasure Thauma! Pity you keep breaking him just before internationals.
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Official result of France/ Fiji is 28/0. Bonus point win. Them the rules. Let’s hope Fiji can play vs Italy.
And Jalibert should be the starting FH vs Scotland, Carbonel on the bench (or not, as Ramos covers FH and FB).
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My Facebook feed contains the details of Bobby Ball’s funeral which takes place today.
Thought you’d like to know.
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Ooh, I see that Montpellier are after Zach Mercer.
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“Edinburgh getting an absolute pasting in Dublin.”
I knew it was going to happen, I couldn’t even b ring myself to watch it.
At full strength we’d struggle against Leinster B, with Embra shorn of 16 forwards and 5 backs there was always going to be one outcome.
6 BP wins for Leinster out of 6. I wouldn’t bet against them getting the full house over the season, depending on where the Christmas games are being held.
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Half watched the game last night in between bouts of digital demon slaying. seemed to be in it for a while, then the evil blue meanies just started walking in tries for fun. In particularly evil form.
Any promising attack was biffed backwards. Just outdone all over the park.
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Thaum – a 3 nil victory should be the only time you get a bonus point. Imagine the excitement if a team gets an early penalty and then clings on for dear life.
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digital demon slaying
That deserves a Karl.
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Imagine how happy Melania is right now. Not only will she be able to go back to not having any First Lady duties but there’s also a real possibility that her fat cunt of a husband will be in jail soon.
She must be dancing like a crab meme around the White House.
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‘That deserves a Karl.’
Nah. If I’d said indulging in digital stimulation maybe
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Chimpie – you didn’t specify.
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Well, it’s stimulation of a kind I suppose
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Doom?
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Doom Eternal
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It’s, like, totally sick.
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Chimpie – I have Doom 2016 but haven’t played it through yet. I like the glory killz though
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Doom 2016 is great. Eternal is better. Definitely harder aswell to an incompetent like me. Get amusing new stuff like a flamethrower, freeze bomb and slow time down during big jumps.
Went to the shops the other weekend ‘cos the kidz got star wars squadrons and found eternal for £14. Bargain.
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