The Nations Cup. My goodness, savour that. The Nations Cup. Mmm. The very name is redolent of a crackling log fire on an autumn afternoon. But wait, there’s more! Amazon Prime. That tingling feeling? That’s the realisation that a major re-structuring of European rugby broadcasting is upon us. Who says 2020’s been a miserable year?
Amazon Prime – not sure how much tax they pay – have put together a crack team of broadcasters and ex-player pundits who have only ever appeared on the BBC or ITV or Channel 4 or Channel 5 or BTSport or Sky before. As industry insider Phelam Hill put it, “[Amazon] will want to do something that is wholly different, not a vanilla broadcast”. More pertinently, they’ll be getting some good advertising bucks in the run-up to Christmas, and they’ll synergistically allow customers to make an impulse purchase of a replica England shirt (size XXXL) with “George 2“ on the back when the Saracens hooker (size XXXL) flops over the line after a drive from a five-metre line-out. Win-win for Bezos’s boys and girls.
To the games, then.
Ireland v Wales (an empty Aviva stadium)
It’s only been a few months since Ireland sent Wales packing with a comfortable win in front of 50,000 fans. It seems likely that Friday night’s game will see a similar result. Yet there are crumbs of comfort for Wales. Jacob Stockdale has gone from free-scoring winger to defensively awkward full-back this Autumn and this could be something Wales will look to exploit with an effective kicking game.
First task: find an effective kicking game.
Second, increasingly tetchy short-distance kicker Jonny Sexton has been underwhelming since the great re-start, and his replacement is Ulster’s own (import from Gloucester) Mr Billy Burns. Can two men lose a game on their own?
Nah. Ireland should have too much for Wales, and if their line-out functions, expect a couple of tries from short drives followed by a series of pick-and-goes. Plus, they have Leinster’s Jimmy Lowe on debut and he’ll pick up at least one score. Wales’ll get a consolation or two.
Italy v Scotland (an empty Stadio Artemio Franchi, Florence)
It’s only a few months since these two met in a match that has been ruled an instrument of torture by a recent European Court of Human Rights ruling. Scotland had the boy Adam Hastings standing in at 10 that day, as stand-out stand-off Finn Russell had been stood down after standing a couple too many beers. Finn returned, but both he and Hastings got crocked against Wales, so the call came for the Worcester Wizard, Wee Duncan Weir, to step up in the key position.
And … Wee Duncy has grown his hair! People often ask me, “What’s NOT vanilla broadcasting?“ and I always say, “Talking about Duncan Weir’s hair and making rather unfunny jokes about it“. Trust me, there’ll be no vanilla broadcasting on Amazon Prime.
Italy are not good. They have some okay players: Polledri is a fine runner/smasher and the young outside half Paolo Garbisi has something about him, but they’re not going to be doing much against what’s turning into a pretty effective Scottish side.
England v Georgia (an empty Twickenham stadium)
There’re certain things that one’s duty bound to mention when you talk about Georgia:
- props;
- scrummaging;
- the ancient game of Lelos;
- their nickname, the Lelos, which comes from the ancient game of Lelos;
- scrummaging;
- Gorgadze;
- scrummaging;
- some platitude from some coach of some other team about how good their scrummaging is;
- props;
- and, scrummaging.
What you won’t hear much about are their backs. Which means I’m rather lost, though I like the young half-backs. Sadly, after a very so-so performance v Scotland, full-back Soso Matiashvili misses out.
Anyway, Georgia have got a great record in the 6 Nations B competition: two losses in ten years, and this is the shop window for them, scrummaging etc.
England will crush them.
France v Fiji (an empty Stade de la Rabine, Vannes)
This is the one to get the old mouth watering. Is it a coincidence that the two sides that play with the most flair both have a name that also begins with F? It is, really, but coincidences are vanilla. Expect fireworks (also begins with F) and some frantic, frenzied play from both sides.
But what those two sides look like is not exactly what you’d hope for. Semi Radrada has tested positive for the Rona so misses out, and Peceli Yato dropped out of the Fiji squad earlier. On top of that, a good number of the squad tested positive for the Rona a couple of weeks ago and a scheduled warm-up game v Portugal got canned as a result.
Still, they’ve got the marvellous Tuisova on the wing, and he’s turning out alongside eight other players who earn a baguette in France.
The hosts, meanwhile, look set to name a fairly strong side, surprising to me as there’s a reported agreement between the FFR and the clubs limiting how many games players can appear in this autumn. You’ve got to trust Foxy Fabien Galthie, a coach who, it seems, has worked out a plan for the great under-achievers of the 2010s. What will double definitely happen: The commentators will spend a lot of time talking about how great Antoine Dupoint is.
As foretold by TomPirracas
Onna telly this week
Friday 13th November
| Griquas v Sharks | 16:55 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Ireland v Wales | 19:00 | Channel 4 / S4C |
Saturday 14th November
| New Zealand v Argentina | 06:10 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Italy v Scotland | 12:45 | Amazon Prime |
| France v England (women) | 13:15 | BBC Two |
| Lions v Pumas | 14:25 | Sky Sports Arena |
| England v Georgia | 15:00 | Amazon Prime |
| Stormers v Cheetahs | 16:55 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Connacht v Scarlets | 19:35 | Premier Sports 2 |
Sunday 15th November
| Munster v Ospreys | 14:45 | S4C / FreeSports |
| Glasgow v Dragons | 18:30 | Premier Sports 2 |
Monday 16th November
| Zebre v Ulster | 18:00 | Premier Sports 2 |
| Leinster v Edinburgh | 20:15 | Premier Sports 2 |
| Cardiff v Treviso | 20:15 | Premier Sports 1 |
Ovally Balls 
Laporte just announced that both 6 N games hosted by France in February (Scotland) and March 2021 ( Wales) will be without public.
Right there is all you need to know about where our government thinks we’ll stand WRT the pandemic 4 months from now.
Grim indeed…
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Chimpie – my Dad bought my brother and I the original Doom way back thinking it would be a fun game for a 9 and 11 yo. How little did he know.
The 90s were great.
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@flair, I would say it makes sense to delay the 6N a bit but doubt a couple of months would make much difference. Interestingly:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/rugby-union/54965126
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Jet Set Willy >> Doom
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Craigs, I’m trying to be slightly more responsible & banning the kidz from Doom till they’re 18
Think it’s too early for them to be decapitating demons & rending them limb from limb, fun as it is.
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Jet set willy was no manic miner.
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Chimpie – there is cheese on toast levels of wrongness on the blog right now. I won’t tell you who it is but 👀 that guy. Over there 👀
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Update from Bobby Ball’s funeral
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Chimp, I was – foolishly obviously- hoping the pandemic might be at least contained by late March, with a massive vaccination campaign whereas it’s pretty clear the government expects a third wave by then.
I don’t know what’s best, the 6N in empty stadiums or a postponment in June and July.
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Empty stadiums = unions financially stuffed.
June / July may not be viable for crowds either, doubt there’ll be total population vaccination coverage by then.
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July the Lions are supposed to be on tour in SA. Plus the English club final’s in June I think. And the French Championship’ll be nearing the crucial halfway stage.
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Chimpie, good news from Ulster. How loud can 1,000 fans shout,”Offside” when Ulster have an attacking ruck?
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OT – which one’s you?
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@bb
Think my invite got lost in the post.
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Fiji – Italy off on Saturday.
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Whoever wins Scotland-France goes straight into the final.
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My favourite piece of Covid news this year is that Dolly Parton provided a million dollars of seed money for research that eventually led to the Moderna vaccine.
Dolly saved the world.
Or helped, at least.
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There have been more cases among the Fijian rugby team than there have been community transmissions in Fiji.
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Someone mention Dolly ? Can’t do Dolly, have some Waylon.
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Yes Flair, that is indeed fairly grim news. Presumably he is acting on government advice. Its going to be a long winter.
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Ticht – she’s undoing all her good work by releasing a single with her god daughter.
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@sbt
Waylon’s best song that. Even better than the theme to the Dukes of Hazzard.
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England legend Joel Tomkins
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OT – imagine having to explain that. Wear a suit and tie, bring some expensive biscuits, say you were just playing a lively if unorthodox game of ‘pull my finger’…
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@craigs
He’s not a nice man. He left Wigan after he was caught bullying a barmaid in a pub.
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OT, trying to avoid the result of the final Origin game so I can watch it later, please don’t mention. I expect Joel picked up that particular trick in the NRL.
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Eww
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Craigs, leave Mylie alone, she’s awesome.
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“He’s not a nice man.”
A poor excuse and I’m not surprised the disciplinary panel saw through it.
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Ah balls, the Guardian mentioned it.
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Pfft! The Russian one is now 103% effective. We bought one from the Cubans that hasn’t been tested and can’t be used. Cost a cool 20 million quid.
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20 million?
I’ve developed a vaccine based on my patented reflected heat technology. needs to be kept slightly warm, adjuvant may have a dairy element. Cash in advance please.
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100% covid free based on my lunchtime trial
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@chimpie
You need to issue a press release to get the news bulletins to do your marketing for you. Who needs PR when you’ve got the BBC?
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OT – He does seem to be a bit of a prick. He’s no Mylie Cyrus though.
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Toby Carvery owner announces permanent closure of 20 pubs across UK
Omg OT I’m so sorry. My thoughts go out to you.
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I had the misfortune to have to eat at one of those a year or two ago. Never again, even though it was the only possible place to eat. Disgusting slop.
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@craigs
How dare you. I wouldn’t set foot in a Toby Carvery.
It’s far cheaper in Wetherspoons.
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OT – No need to play coy with me. I know how devestated you must be. It’s like when M&S stopped selling Wobbly Worms.
I was a mess for weeks.
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Squidge talking about how Wales lost to Ireland :
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Ireland: Keenan; Earls, Farrell, Aki, Lowe; R Byrne, Gibson-Park; Healy, Kelleher, Porter; Roux, Ryan (capt); Stander, O’Mahony, Doris.
Replacements: Herring, E Byrne, Bealham, Henderson, Connors, Murray, B Burns, Stockdale.
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Fucking hell – still no Cooney or McCloskey, not even on the bench!
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I know what Cat has been up to:
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Thaum – Faz is just throwing down the bat shit mental selection gauntlet to Eddie. Don’t worry about it.
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George Cockroft deid.
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Probably
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Classic anti-Ulster bias
Down with this regime!
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That was an odd video and the music was crap – who were the band?
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Showaddywaddy?
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