Behold! I bring you tidings of great joy, for this writer hath just finished bloody work for the year, after a massively stressful month. If she had her way, certain developers and project ‘managers’ would be strung up by the bollocks (in festively fetching tinsel, of course) and hung from the top of the big pine tree on the village green.
Now able to turn her attention to much more important matters, she finds that there is another round of the European Cups this weekend.
Since nearly all the home sides lost last weekend, it’s anyone’s guess what will happen this week, but let us hope that trend continues for matches featuring teams whose names end in ‘ster’.
Onna telly this week
Friday 18th December
| Pumas v Cheetahs | 17:00 | Sky Sports Mix |
| Castres v Newcastle | 17:30 | BT Sport 2 |
| Scarlets v Toulon | 19:30 | BT Sport 2 |
| Wasps v Montpellier | 20:00 | BT Sport ? |
Saturday 19th December
| Leinster v Northampton | 13:00 | Channel 4 / BT Sport 2 |
| Gloucester v Ulster | 15:15 | BT Sport 2 |
| Clermont v Munster | 17:30 | BT Sport 2 |
| Sale v Edinburgh | 20:00 | BT Sport 2 |
| Bordeaux v Dragons | 20:00 | BT Sport 3 |
| Worcester v Ospreys | 20:00 | S4C |
Sunday 20th December
| Harlequins v Racing 92 | 15:15 | BT Sport 2 |
| Connacht v Bristol | 17:30 | BT Sport 2 |
| Cardiff 28 – 0 Stade Français |
Ovally Balls 
Ramsey not Ramasay. I wonder what caused that terrible spelling.
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In October 1912 Mr Wilf Chumbly, of Halton near Lancaster, was looking for a warm meal with all the delicious taste of the cheese sandwich (with maybe only 50% of the bread). He had the idea to create a piece of toast and then to put cheese on top of it. Wilf called his new creation “Cheese on toast”.
F&R tomp. I win.
*declares ultimate rightness.*
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Does it suddenly feel very 2016 in here all of a sudden?
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I’ve been to Dubai Airport a few times.
It’s shit. Like most other airports.
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@Craigs – Wiki has this from 1747. Does have the feel of the sort of thing that had been going on for a bit before it was written though. You may rub it over with mustard.
“To make a Scotch rabbit, toast the bread very nicely on both sides, butter it, cut a slice of cheese about as big as the bread, toast it on both sides, and lay it on the bread.
To make a Welsh rabbit, toast the bread on both sides, then toast the cheese on one side, lay it on the toast, and with a hot iron brown the other side. You may rub it over with mustard.
To make an English rabbit, toast the bread brown on both sides, lay it in a plate before the fire, pour a glass of red wine over it, and let it soak the wine up. Then cut some cheese very thin and lay it very thick over the bread, put it in a tin oven before the fire, and it will be toasted and browned presently. Serve it always hot.
Or do it thus. Toast the bread and soak it in the wine, set it before the fire, rub butter over the bottom of a plate, lay the cheese on, pour in two or three spoonfuls of white wine, cover it with another plate, set it over a chafing-dish of hot coals for two or three minutes, then stir it till it is done and well mixed. You may stir in a little mustard; when it enough lays it on the bread, just brown it with a hot shovel”
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The earlier stuff should have been sufficient really, you’re going to eat your toasted cheese outside the locked gates of heaven with bread of some sort after all. Or what next? Perhaps Craigs is the sort of person who eats a fried egg on its own.
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Which is something Mrs CMW does. Makes me sick.
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“with maybe only 50% of the bread”
Or 200% of the cheese.
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“Ramsey not Ramasay. I wonder what caused that terrible spelling.”
A deep-seated longing for what sounds like a Scottish island (as opposed to a Welsh one). There are probably songs about this sort of thing.
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o-oh, Cmw. There you go again, 2 posts thinking the same as me. Proof.
Thick as mince.
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All this talk of Dubai reminds me of a conversation Mrs chimpie had with someone or other (friend of a friend of a friend type thing) recently. They were moaning on about finding it difficult to get their usual crimbo time trip abroad, and were having to spend a bit more than their typical £50k budget to get to Dubai. The horror. Mrs Chimpie managed to stay politely interested.
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Must have been hard for Mrs Chimpie to listen to that in the knowlege that her Dubai money for this year had been blown on a semi-erect Melbury.
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the semi-erect Melbury is a benefit to the whole household. Be even more of a benefit once fully, proudly erect, powered and connected to the interwebs.
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I expect Christmas in Dubai is shit
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I look forward to reading its thoughts on here.
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Who needs Dubai when one can spend a week inna tent at Achelvich.
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Mind you, campsites are flipping expensive these days.
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Sad news is that Vic Marks has retired from the Guardian. He’d better not have retired from TMS as well.
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CMW – soaking bread in wine or whatever does not a cheese on toast in it’s modern form make. Also, toasting cheese before it goes on a toast?
I’d say that indicates that we’ve made some progress since the 1600s.
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Also, I want Wilf Chumbly to go down in history goddammit!
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@Craigs – Brown it with a hot shovel.
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When I was a younger Craig’s learning my trade I audited a horrible personal PR firm based in Mayfair but who did most of their business out of their Dubai office for the Sheikh.
They were very concerned about pissing him off so had debts with the Dubai government that were almost 2 years old. Apparently that’s how stuff works.
If you please the Sheikh you are fine. If you don’t, exile awaits. Seems fine.
Oh, and you can’t really go outside for long or swim in the sea, everything is expensive and most people go there to visit hotels. They stay in other hotels but go on tours of the fancy ones.
No fucking thank you.
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CMW – is that something you do at Chimpie’s hot tub?
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Be easier to drink the wine & put the bread & cheese on a hot shovel next to the fire.
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I had held high hopes that the three phrases “Serve it always hot”, “You may rub it over with mustard” and “Brown it with a hot shovel” would be sufficient for my communication needs on OB, but it appears not so you’ll have to put up with the usual witterings.
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We also don’t cook with gardening equipment.
There’s another one.
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You won’t want the copy of 101 recipes with rake and hoe (Wilf Chumbly, 1913) that I was going to send you for Christmas then.
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CMW – I appreciated them, as I appreciate you.
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@Craigs – Serve it always hot, that’s what I say.
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CMW – Words from Wilf Chumbly’s heart I imagine.
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Chumbly? The notorious gobshite Chumbly? He reminds me of a friend of mine who claimed to have invented the “later”.
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Sounds similar to the claim that we know who first had the idea of frying spuds.
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Eric Hobsbawm says the same in Age of Empires, OT.
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Tomp – is he notorious though?
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I gather there will be a mercy killing of the Pro14 in March. Welcome news though I’d have thought they could have put it out of its misery a bit quicker just by using the upcoming Irish inter-provincial games to finish it.
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@Craigs – He’s a notorious communist. You’re better off getting your history from the likes of Chumbly if you ask me.
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CMW – the ‘Rainbow Cup’ sounds like a Mario Kart track.
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@tomp
Every time I went to Tommyfield Market I’d bump into Eric Hobsbawm as he was reminding anyone who’d listen that fish and chips hadn’t been invented there.
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@Craigs – You’re just jealous as your lot haven’t found a way to do away with their shitty league yet.
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Obviously rainbows having been taken leaves them with a bit of an issue, but unicorns are probably still available and I believe flamingos are big this year.
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You’ll need to find your own Saffers to play, but they seem to have fuckloads of players so it shouldn’t be a problem. Think the ones that used to be in the Pro14 might be looking for a game – they were better than Leicester so that could work.
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At any given moment there will be somewhere in the Rainbow Cup where the sun is shining and somewhere that it’s raining. It was the obvious thing to go for really.
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Someone is touchy. I didn’t even say that the title is bad….
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Rainbows are nice
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Better name than the ProWhatevs.
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@Craigs – There are people out there who would just have us watch Exeter.
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Sounds like this new Saffer strain of the virus is even worse than the new world-beating British one. Scottish sides, especially, should be careful.
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…………..correct, dear ape
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CMW – actually they just want you to just watch Exeter.
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@Craigs – “No one else could ever be admitted here, since this gate was made only for you. I am now going to shut it.”
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