Links to chapters One, Two, Three and Four
Paulan clapped his slightly terrifying paws together and ordered a feast for all, which only increased his popularity. But he drew Peter aside, and took him to a hill that overlooked a very pretty castle that, he told Peter, contained four thrones that he and his companions should occupy.
“That,” said Paulan, “is Cair Paravel. You will sit as Kings and Queens, but because you are the first-born, you shall be Captain.”
“That’s a bit ageist,” thought Peter, “Susan is easily the bossiest of us.”
But just then, they heard the sound of a referee’s whistle, but a whistle so loud, so shrill in tone, and so enforceable-sounding that everyone within earshot froze.
“It is Susan’s whistle,” said Paulan.
For a moment Peter did not understand. Everyone else was scurrying around, with multiple spontaneous sessions of handbags in evidence, but then the movement coalesced towards a real enemy.
Then he did understand, and set off running towards the pavilion, where he saw a dreadful sight.
The defence was in tatters, and Susan was running down the pitch pursued by a massive wolf-lock. The Narnian forwards rallied and attempted to form a ruck around her, but she was still vulnerable to the snapping teeth.
Peter didn’t have a lot of time to think, but he knew he had two weapons: the sword, and the gum-shield. As the sword was probably against the rules, he popped the gumshield into his mouth and snarled at the wolf-lock.
The wolf-lock hissed, “Saracens until the end!” and disappeared in a steaming stream of boiling pish.
* * *
Meanwhile, the Witch had forced Edmund to do five hundred press-ups and walk five hundred miles. He was feeling a bit tired and cheated. When they finally stopped, he collapsed on the side-lines, but could hear the Witch talking to her scrum-half dwarf.
“Four thrones in Cair Paravel,” she said, “What if only three were filled? That would not fulfil the prophecy.”
“We should keep this one for bargaining. What with all the press-ups he’s been doing, we can up his price for transfer.”
“Pah! And have the other side out-bid us. No, we must do what we have to do at once. And that should be done at the Stone Stadium.”
At that moment, another wolf-lock rushed up to them to tell them of the events at the pavilion. “Fly!” said the wolf.
“No,” said the Witch. “There need be no flying. Go quickly. Summon all our people to meet me here as speedily as they can. Call out the giants and the werewolves and the spirits of those referees who are on our side. Call the Saracens, and the Blue Meanies, the French Ogres and the Saffer Minotaurs. We will fight. What? Have I not still my wand? Will not their ranks turn into stone even as they come on? Be off quickly, I have a little thing to finish here while you are away.”
That ‘little thing’ turned out to be Edmund. Just as the Witch illegally tackled him into the mud, he heard the drumming of hooves (forwards, no doubt) and the sound of wingers, and a scream from the Witch. Paulan had sent a rescue party.
The wingers said some nice things to him, but the forwards were saying things like, “Where’s the bloody Witch gone after that scrap?”
* * *
The next morning, the other children woke up to see Paulan walking with Edmund, and talking seriously with him. Edmund never told them about the conversation, but never supported the Saracens again.
Then Paulan’s wolfhounds approached with the Witch, who had come for parley.
“Remember the Deep Magic,” said the Witch. “That creature’s blood is mine, as he is a traitor. Unless I have blood as the Law says all Narnia will be overturned and perish in fire and magic spray.”
“This is true,” said Paulan. And he and the Witch walked off where no-one could hear.
Eventually Paulan came back to say that the Witch had renounced her claim on Edmund’s blood.
* * *
Paulan then announced that they should move elsewhere as the Stone Stadium would be needed for another purpose.
As they walked to the new camp, he began to explain his campaign to Peter: You should defend the attacking maul this way; you should arrange your forwards like this; you should make sure your half-backs stand not too deep, and so on.
“But you will be there yourself, Paulan.”
“I can give you no promise of that,” answered the Lion. And he continued giving Peter his instructions.
Merry xmas, Everyone!
Onna telly this week
Saturday 26th December
| Zebre v Treviso | 13:00 | FreeSports |
| Harlequins v Bristol | 14:00 | BT Sport 2 |
| Western Province v Griquas | 14:30 | Sky Sports Mix |
| Exeter v Gloucester | 15:00 | BT Sport Extra |
| Dragons v Cardiff | 15:00 | S4C / Premier Sports 1 |
| Northampton v Worcester | 16:30 | BT Sport 2 |
| Blue Bulls v Golden Lions | 17:00 | Sky Sports Mix |
| Ospreys v Scarlets | 17:15 | S4C / Premier Sports 1 |
Sunday 27th December
| Cheetahs v Sharks | 14:30 | Sky Sports Mix |
| Sale v Wasps | 15:00 | BT Sport 1 |
| Connacht v Ulster | 19:35 | TG4 / Premier Sports 1 |
Ovally Balls 
Tomp
I forgot to include that bit – but for a young boy he looks very fat now-altogether too heavy but probably encouraged to be so – can’t be right.
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Wasps website says 6ft 1in and 181/4 stones (116kg)
Too heavy for his height
For comparison, Ben Curry 6ft 1in and 161/2 stones(106kg)
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About the same weight as Vermeulen but about 7 cms shorter, but 12 years younger.
I agree with you. There are some good back-row players around and he might get there one day. Not yet. Strong young man, though, and am a little surprised his stats have been so good. Only saw a little of Wasps v Montpellier and he was good against a pretty poor 14-man side.
Is Jordan Joseph playing much for Racing?
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Tomp
Sorry, I don’t know much about him as I don’t follow Racing92 but this link to his bio shows that he is getting game time:
https://all.rugby/player/jordan-joseph
20yo; 6ft 3ins; 19st 7lbs……………………………………sheesh!
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Whilst we’re on the subject of size of players
Springloading replacements ‘destroying’ rugby – Donal Lenihan
https://www.rte.ie/sport/rugby/2020/1230/1186978-springloading-replacements-destroying-rugby-lenihan/?fbclid=IwAR2jO2SP18Ok8q0sNR2MZFd0R9fiCICdnozx9ivOr09IafjS8P7uyd1N7_0
While I agree with him, I’d be picky and argue his last point, the best team is the best 23 under current laws, not the best 15, but it kind of reinforces his point at the same time
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This was a choice, we could have gone for faster, better – a backline full of Cheslin Kolbe, Darcy Graham, Vincent Rattez, etc etc
I loved Jonah as much as any rugby fan, but it didn’t have to be the way we all tried to play.
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https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/rugby-union/55489173
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Slade, just for comparison, Luke Cowan-Dickie is 6’1 and 110kg Jamie George 5’10 and 115kg.
Harry Thacker is 5’9 and 93 kg.
I agree with you, first two way too heavy. Harry Thacker for England :)
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May I wish all in the dinghy a Happy New Year and a fabulous 2021! Been a roughie, will be early next year too, but let’s give it horns! 🍾 🥂 🍾
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A former senior executive at World Rugby has criticised Dan Leo’s ‘Oceans Apart’ documentary, which sought to lift the lid on the many issues affecting rugby in the Pacific islands.
https://www.rugbypass.com/news/oceans-apart-mark-egan-i-thought-it-was-very-one-sided/
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… and gets given his head to play with
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@ticht
Until today I had no opinion either way on Epi Taoine. I now realise I rather like him.
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The truly international and highly focused use of the term “bell-end”.
Excellent for a NY’s Eve memento.
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All the very best to all I have shared with on this blog – It has become an important part of my life – thanks to you all!
meilleurs voeux et, surtout, bonne sante a tous………………………………
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Rob Baxter OBE and Joe Simmonds MBE – wow!
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Where’s Thauma’s gong? Lost in the post? Or signed as a project gong by Scotland?
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This from Epis wiki page.
“Taione controversially changed his name to Paddy Power for the duration of the 2007 Rugby World Cup in a sponsorship deal agreed with the Irish bookmaker.[3] the sponsorship deal financed the Tongan preparation for the World Cup. The Tongans nearly beat the eventual winner, South Africa, and lost narrowly to the other finalist, England.”
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Thanks Thaum, and everyone else too, for keeping this little oasis alive.
HAPPY NEW YEAR !
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Deebs – had to decline it.
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Happy new year to you all. Hope you and your families all stay safe
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There will be a new post as the new year starts, but I can’t guarantee that I will still be awake for it!
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There’s no way I will still be awake for the German Silvester, let alone the GMT time zone version.
So Happy New Year my lovelies. I’m glad you are there and proud of you all.
And a 🌹 for Thauma.
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Aawwh.
Reminds me of a really nice rugby shirt with similar logo :)
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Happy new year / hogmanay all. Probably not the way I’d usually do it but stay well everyone
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Now have a fully erect Melbury. Been preserving and oiling it.
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Early start early finish, Here is a selection of my New Years Eve Listening . This one is from the last actual real live performer I saw, think February .
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Happy new year everyone!
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Well, thank fuck 2020’s done. Happy new Year to the everyone in the best wee corner of the interwebs!
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