Links to chapters One, Two, Three and Four
Paulan clapped his slightly terrifying paws together and ordered a feast for all, which only increased his popularity. But he drew Peter aside, and took him to a hill that overlooked a very pretty castle that, he told Peter, contained four thrones that he and his companions should occupy.
“That,” said Paulan, “is Cair Paravel. You will sit as Kings and Queens, but because you are the first-born, you shall be Captain.”
“That’s a bit ageist,” thought Peter, “Susan is easily the bossiest of us.”
But just then, they heard the sound of a referee’s whistle, but a whistle so loud, so shrill in tone, and so enforceable-sounding that everyone within earshot froze.
“It is Susan’s whistle,” said Paulan.
For a moment Peter did not understand. Everyone else was scurrying around, with multiple spontaneous sessions of handbags in evidence, but then the movement coalesced towards a real enemy.
Then he did understand, and set off running towards the pavilion, where he saw a dreadful sight.
The defence was in tatters, and Susan was running down the pitch pursued by a massive wolf-lock. The Narnian forwards rallied and attempted to form a ruck around her, but she was still vulnerable to the snapping teeth.
Peter didn’t have a lot of time to think, but he knew he had two weapons: the sword, and the gum-shield. As the sword was probably against the rules, he popped the gumshield into his mouth and snarled at the wolf-lock.
The wolf-lock hissed, “Saracens until the end!” and disappeared in a steaming stream of boiling pish.
* * *
Meanwhile, the Witch had forced Edmund to do five hundred press-ups and walk five hundred miles. He was feeling a bit tired and cheated. When they finally stopped, he collapsed on the side-lines, but could hear the Witch talking to her scrum-half dwarf.
“Four thrones in Cair Paravel,” she said, “What if only three were filled? That would not fulfil the prophecy.”
“We should keep this one for bargaining. What with all the press-ups he’s been doing, we can up his price for transfer.”
“Pah! And have the other side out-bid us. No, we must do what we have to do at once. And that should be done at the Stone Stadium.”
At that moment, another wolf-lock rushed up to them to tell them of the events at the pavilion. “Fly!” said the wolf.
“No,” said the Witch. “There need be no flying. Go quickly. Summon all our people to meet me here as speedily as they can. Call out the giants and the werewolves and the spirits of those referees who are on our side. Call the Saracens, and the Blue Meanies, the French Ogres and the Saffer Minotaurs. We will fight. What? Have I not still my wand? Will not their ranks turn into stone even as they come on? Be off quickly, I have a little thing to finish here while you are away.”
That ‘little thing’ turned out to be Edmund. Just as the Witch illegally tackled him into the mud, he heard the drumming of hooves (forwards, no doubt) and the sound of wingers, and a scream from the Witch. Paulan had sent a rescue party.
The wingers said some nice things to him, but the forwards were saying things like, “Where’s the bloody Witch gone after that scrap?”
* * *
The next morning, the other children woke up to see Paulan walking with Edmund, and talking seriously with him. Edmund never told them about the conversation, but never supported the Saracens again.
Then Paulan’s wolfhounds approached with the Witch, who had come for parley.
“Remember the Deep Magic,” said the Witch. “That creature’s blood is mine, as he is a traitor. Unless I have blood as the Law says all Narnia will be overturned and perish in fire and magic spray.”
“This is true,” said Paulan. And he and the Witch walked off where no-one could hear.
Eventually Paulan came back to say that the Witch had renounced her claim on Edmund’s blood.
* * *
Paulan then announced that they should move elsewhere as the Stone Stadium would be needed for another purpose.
As they walked to the new camp, he began to explain his campaign to Peter: You should defend the attacking maul this way; you should arrange your forwards like this; you should make sure your half-backs stand not too deep, and so on.
“But you will be there yourself, Paulan.”
“I can give you no promise of that,” answered the Lion. And he continued giving Peter his instructions.
Merry xmas, Everyone!
Onna telly this week
Saturday 26th December
| Zebre v Treviso | 13:00 | FreeSports |
| Harlequins v Bristol | 14:00 | BT Sport 2 |
| Western Province v Griquas | 14:30 | Sky Sports Mix |
| Exeter v Gloucester | 15:00 | BT Sport Extra |
| Dragons v Cardiff | 15:00 | S4C / Premier Sports 1 |
| Northampton v Worcester | 16:30 | BT Sport 2 |
| Blue Bulls v Golden Lions | 17:00 | Sky Sports Mix |
| Ospreys v Scarlets | 17:15 | S4C / Premier Sports 1 |
Sunday 27th December
| Cheetahs v Sharks | 14:30 | Sky Sports Mix |
| Sale v Wasps | 15:00 | BT Sport 1 |
| Connacht v Ulster | 19:35 | TG4 / Premier Sports 1 |
Ovally Balls 
Cardiff win 12-13. zzzz
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Ticht – AARRRGGGHHHH!
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sub-par Exeter engineer BP win over spirited Glos
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Newport-Cardiff (or at least the second half which is all I saw) was proper shit. Real Eddie described it as an ordeal.
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I didn’t even realise the man of the match (seren y gem for Thaum) was on the field.
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Disappointing from Glaws there. Good performance, but with a little something extra, could well have had Exeter . Commentators thought it was flat from the Chiefs, maybe Glaws are just becoming a really good side.
Young Venner looked handy on debut at 9.
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CMW – the highlight of the first half was a flurry of handbags.
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Anyway Happy Christmas everyone! Thanks as ever to Thaum for the Christmas present that is the continued existence of this place.
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There was a passage of play early in the second half that featured several dropped balls of which Tom Shanklin said “That won’t make the highlights reel”. I was looking back fondly on it by the end.
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As for whether Narnia’s any good?
It’s got beavers.
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Saints making LI look half-competent…………..
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………………by playing Worcs!!!
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oh dear Worcs…….BP win for Saints
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O’s-Scarlets a significant improvement on the earlier game. Scarlets had more of the game so probably deserved their narrow win though I did wonder about the final pass in the try that won it and even more so about a clearout just before. Kevin Phillips’ son was playing hooker for the O’s!
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Apparently he has done now and again for a while. I hadn’t noticed, but then I didn’t watch most of last season for obvious reasons.
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ticht, The Bulls have been after Coetzee for a long time. Pleased they’ve got him as he’s a great signing for the Bulls and welcome that a 29-year-old goes back to SA.
Bulls first-choice back row has been good this year. van Staden and Elrigh Louw are both very strong young players. Plus Arno Botha’s been ok since coming back. Vermeulen’s not got great reviews but I think he’s played well enough. Nizaam Carr’s a handy player to have as well.
I think Coetzee coming off the bench for the Boks against the Lions (if it should happen) is a really promising prospect.
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@sunbeamtim – Brexit’s not done for my team quite yet unfortunately. My work will continue on for most of next year tbh as we try to work out the impact of the deal and amend everything. It’s the gift that keeps on giving!!
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There was a statement out about Coetzee, apparently he realised how much he was missing SA life and they decided to move home
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Boan Venter moves in the opposite direction, the Cheetahs prop is joining Edinburgh in February on a two and a half year deal. He’ll be cover for Sutherland being with Scotland, and likewise Schoeman later in the year.
Bhatti left Embra for Glaws to get game time I presume, I don’t know how they are fixed for looseheids.
Young Sam Grahamslaw is the homegrown back up at Edinburgh, if playing for Market Harborough and the Leicester academy counts as homegrown.
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Edit, Bhatti moved to Bath, not Glaws
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Bhatti flops on blog suffocating it.
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Wasps Sale a Sag pleasing 3-3 half an hour in.
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Camilla with a nice take and pass creates space for Yarde, who finishes well. Blimey, Andy Carroll to get a goal next week ?
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Only high point of the half, that. Good tussle tho, with Sale starting to gain the upper hand in a physical confrontation.
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Festive fun now, two tries to Wasps. First a lovely inside break by the young 10, the second after a strip and bulldoze by Barbeary.
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Damn, Barberry broken.
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wasps hunged on for win………hope their (self) injured player is ok
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Think Yarde landed (accidentally) on his head, Slade.
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golly – missed that
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Yes looked nasty. Hope Kibarigi is OK.
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Apologies to Mr. Kibirige for spelling his name wrong.
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Where the hell’s Cooney? Just read the BBC match preview, and it doesn’t say that he’s either being rested or injured, but he’s not in the squad.
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In fact, where the hell’s Larry, who usually knows these things?
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Larry’s fine tuning his report from last year’s Final. Pick one.
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Ulster getting hammered.
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Larry’s getting hammered for Ulster? Wouldn’t be surprised.
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Ulster fightback is on with a try at last. 14-16.
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‘Nother try!
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Connacht score again. Somewhere, Claw is smiling.
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Seems that Ulster fans might be getting a bit spoiled these days. The blue monster will sort them out when it comes to it.
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The weather has such an influence at the Sportsground, a game of two halves right enough
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thaum, Stockdale and McCloskey aren’t playing because of the agreement about how many minutes a player can play. Possibly the same reason for Cooney?
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The weather has such an influence at Rodney Parade. Game of four halves there yesterday.
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We have a consecutive games agreement in Scotland, internationals can only play five in a row max, but so much rugby has been cancelled I think there could be a rethink for this season
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” I think there could be a rethink for this season”
I’d go for nobody to play in any games at all until the Pro14 is declared over and the Rainbow Cup begins.
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TomP – that was my assumption, but it wasn’t mentioned in the BBC article. Perhaps an oversight.
CMW – we are currently ahead of the blue monster on the tables! (It won’t last, of course; they are a game or two down.)
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Ulster have looked very good this season
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…in the league at least, the coms started on about the not-Heine as soon as I posted the last one.
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Yes, well, I didn’t think we’d win that in the first half. But glad we did!
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Ticht, both matches we played in the Cup were very good matches. We were just unfortunate enough to lose them both. In one, we were down to 13 men for a while, and racked up +6 points during that period.
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