What a first round that was: grit, determination, superb skills and complete brainfarts. Think the competition is wide open, and unsure where to make your Superbru picks? Don’t worry, our OvallyBalls experts on crack are here to progrocknIksate what will happen this weekend.
Deebee7 was quick off the mark with his predictions:
England, chastised and sobered by the realisation that they couldn’t simply kick ‘n bosh their way past feisty Scotland pick the biggest side in rugby history so they can KICK ‘N BOSH their way over, through and not around Italy, who, having realised that their first-up tackling was well below par and know what’s coming their way, pick 15 Saffas to BOSH BACK against England. Problem is, they’re playing for Italy because they can’t make it into better sides. England by 47 despite themselves.
Scotland, fresh from the Trashing of Twickers™ are primed, ready, purring and full of confidence for the visit of an abject Welsh side that had to rely on red mist and a brain fart to see off Ireland. The mercenary English Army and Tartan Boks who were apparently the only reason Edward’s Army tripped at Twickers have a solid tight five, fury in the loose forwards, flying outside backs and the Best 10 in the World™ ready to unleash hell on the journeymen from the Valleys. Thing is, it’s not their Game of the Season™ and with all their raison d’etre exhausted last week, Wales will give them the fright of their lives! But not enough to actually win it. Scotland by a couple in a low-scoring affair.
Ireland, stunned by stupidity and seething with intent, await the thoroughbreds of France, fresh from their opening training run against Italy. Expect a titanic struggle up front with neither pack giving an inch (easy on the Karl button, Iks). Ireland should be without Sexton which gives France a HUGE advantage behind the pie-munchers, and with the greyhounds and whippets willing to give it a lash, it could be a long afternoon at the Palindrome. But if the Irish are one thing, it’s bloody minded, determined and fucking difficult to boss around on their home patch (thank dog no World Cups hosted there yet). Too close to call!
Chimpie is more or less in agreement:
Scotland > Wales by 4
This goes against my deep-seated pessimism but got to back form at some point. General cohesion will keep Wales pinned back but usual inability to get points on the board will keep the boyos in it. Wales have some quality players in there and they’ll get over the line a couple of times.
England > Italy by 30
Hope Italy put up more of fight than last week. They’ve got a few bright sparks – like the look of Garbisi – but this is a very young and inexperienced team, too early for them to start pulling out results. England will grind and kick Italy down and run up a respectable score with the Best Fly-Half in the World playing. Eddie will then drop Ford for the next game.
Ireland > France by 2
Yes, I’m going out on a limb here for Ireland without human missile POM to put a shock one over on France. Would it be that much of a shock though? France ran up 35 points against Ireland last time out but there was only an 8 point difference at full time. Ireland at home hurting after last week’s effort vs. Wales, I’m going with a home victory here.
ClydeMillarWynant is ever the misfit:
Wales > Scotland by 1
Entire game takes place in Wales half giving Scotland an impressive 6-0 lead only for LRZ to go the length of the field at the death. Biggar converts from the touchline and bounces around on his space-hoppers to general disgust.
France > Ireland by 6
Ireland are just the sort of miserable bastards to spoil everything by grinding down France and stopping the beautiful game at source. But there’s been positive beaver news today.
England > Italy by 40
Italy are crap.
BorderBoy couldn’t resist bringing Prog into it:
Nazareth > Budgie (by 10)
Genesis > PFM (by 25)
U2 < Lazuli (by 12)
SladeIs#42 is sucking up to the mister:
Wales> Scotland by 4 – winners have enough ‘dog’ to resist Scots missing last week’s adrenalin rush
Ireland > France by 3 – game of the week-end – Ireland a team full of grit and experience
England > Italy by 25 – in reality, score could be anything dependant on tactics adopted: an inaccurate kicking game could make it closer, as could a good performance by Italy up to the 60 minute mark causing confusion in England’s headless ranks. If Italy collapse England could get 70. Whatever, it’s unlikely to be a credit to the Competition. As stated above, Ford will be back to the bench afterwards and George restored.
Craigsman is getting all political on our arses:
Sturgeon > Drakeford by 5LePen Macron > Adams by 10
Bojo > Berlusconi by 15
I was just going to include far right politicians / arseholes. I managed a few arseholes but couldn’t be bothered to Welsh political arseholery.
Sunbeamtim goes for the philosophical approach:
Looks like Big Faz realises that France are going to hammer Ireland whichever way, so has thrown in a 9 and 10 as sacrificial lambs to protect young payers. End of JGP and BB’s International careers ?
Very enthusiastic about all the talk of how disgraceful Italy are, and how they should be thrown out of the comp, and how its a non game for a proper side. I see Italy as being fitter and more coherent than they have ever been, and one step off defensively is all it takes to be hammered by a Tier one side. Setting someone up for a big fall somewhere this season.
Scotland and Wales both hammered by injuries, too close to call, game of the weekend.
Flair99‘s been watching my nightmares:
England by 29
Scotland by 7
France by 11.
Don’t harrumph me, I was wrong twice last week.
Not sure the omission of Sexton and Murray is a good thing for France but it is certainly a good thing for them. Enough of these concussed players blaming the doctors. I hope they recover soon.
Onna telly this week
Friday 12th February
| Gloucester v Bristol | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
| Sale v Bath | 20:00 | BT Sport Extra |
Saturday 13th February
| England v Italy | 14:15 | ITV |
| Harlequins v Leicester | 16:00 | BT Sport Extra |
| Exeter v London Irish | 16:15 | BT Sport Extra |
| Scotland v Wales | 16:45 | BBC1 / S4C |
Sunday 14th February
| Worcester v Wasps | 13:00 | BT Sport 1 |
| Ireland v France | 15:00 | ITV |
Ovally Balls 
Hancock at the end of that vid looks like a wet and wimpy vampire spotting a pulsing vein.
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Good effort by the opener in this game. Let down a little by the other batters.
https://www.cricketworld.com/cricket/fateh-cc-vs-gracia-cc/match/scorecard/47350
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@tomp
This is the best scorecard ever. Many of the victorious team are still playing now
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That’s good. My brother’s school team dismissed an XI for 4 one time. One of the bowlers had figures of 7 for 1. But 1 all out is dismal.
There was a B&H game in the late 70s, early 80s in which Peter Roebuck of Somerset declared with the score on 0 as this ensured his side qualified for the knock-outs.
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Ah, for one.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Worcestershire_v_Somerset,_1979
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Personal best bowling figures: 5 for 1 v Kings School Macclesfield, 1969(ish).
Other bowlers let us down badly as Macc reached 15(ish) in total, thus ensuring an unnecessarily nailbiting run chase, which we only just lost, the failure of which I attribute mainly to a blatantly biased LBW decision by their Gym Master when I’d just settled down at the crease and was about to cruise effortlessly into single figures.
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…aaah! Kings Macc were buggers weren’t they?
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No new cases in the France camp. This is good . Decision to be made later today about the game
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‘Kings Macc were buggers weren’t they?’
I can see why this would make them difficult to play against, but isn’t that against the rules of cricket?
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Personal best bowling figures: 4 for 0 in 3 overs*, for Pontymister away to Blackwood, circa 1971. They set up the wicket in the middle of the rugby / sports field. Our opening bowlers were quickies, and the ball flew everywhere, usually bouncing well over head height. Pretty frightening now I think back.
I was the second change bowler, opting for a mix of trundlers and slow left arm spin, over the wicket and well-pitched up, so not many byes given away either. The umpire at my end was Arthur Nibblett, our Physics teacher. I had to explain to him the rules on why he should give one of the batsman out to my LBW appeal (it was plumb).
Perhaps the finer achievement was batting for about 40 mins for 0, while accumulating enough byes and overthrows to win the match.
*It might have been 3 for 0, and as I’m not sure I’m printing the legend.
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I was credited with 7/19 in a match against our fierce rivals St John’s College once. I actually took five of the wickets, but the scorer also credited me with two run outs that happened off my bowling. We skittled them for 50-somethng and scraped home by 2 wickets, with yours truly holding up one end for a couple of overs without scoring. Great fun!
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One of my ‘wickets’ was a caught behind. Our keeper noticed that their umpire was slow to look up from checking for no-ball so told us all to appeal the next time the batsman played and missed. Duly did so and the ump, to the batsman’s obvious irritation looked up suddenly and said “yes, laddie, you’ve nicked that one.”
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6/4/6/4 playing for the working class heroes league team I used to turn out for against the ‘posh cunts’ of the University Staff. At least on background I was the only one on the wrong side, but hey ho. I can’t pretend that a pitch that had been previously used for a juniors game and so had footmarks etc on a length (they play off 18 yards) didn’t help my big turning offbreaks. Staff were pretty disgusted getting bowled out for under 50 and we got home with 4 wickets to spare. They were pretty unlucky though, we took nine catches out of nine having the previous week dropped the opposition’s number ten eleven times on his way to his first fifty in fifty years of playing cricket.
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It’s normal to get taken off if you take three wickets for our team on a Sunday. This doesn’t apply so much against the better teams we play, but of course it’s harder to do against them. One of the anomalies this throws up is that some of the best figures ever returned for our club have been by our worst bowlers. Our former ‘president’ who sadly died early last year once got 7/15 I think. He was a hopeless case as a cricketer and was supposed to just be getting his couple of overs to keep him happy. I was supposed to then replace him and we would get on with the game properly. Even though he kept getting people out the captain took the view that the only thing he could do to help the opposition get a reasonable score for us to chase was to leave him on. Didn’t work.
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I think lockdown might have addled my brain, but my attitude towards the Wales vs England clash is surprisingly ambivalent. I… I… I just don’t really like England at the moment. I don’t like EJ’s rugby-by-numbers approach, I don’t like Owen Farrell as a player or captain and I don’t like the way the team go into their shell the second a team get stuck into them and counter their game plan.
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4/26 with four stumpings and four sixes in it was my favourite ever analysis I’ve had. The other two runs were from a dropped catch off that had gone miles up in the air. That was as a teenager back in Aberystwyth.
On a Sunday I have taken more than four wickets in a game, but they were two innings games and included getting the same people out twice. Not that you can’t sometimes do that in a one-innings game in Real Cricket…
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First session of the cricket was awful, btw, Crawley’s knock aside. Though what a joy to be working at home and having test cricket on TV!
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Not sure I can cope with Dab going native.
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My best figures were 4/12 for Keble College MCR (graduate team) against Oxford University Women’s 1st XI. And I should have had a five-fer, but had a blatant stumping not given. It looked so obvious to me I didn’t appeal with enough vigour.
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@CMW – I think I’ve had one of these moments: https://external-preview.redd.it/VWrPDpnn3haOGX28MF2r9AhR6YS6Qf43FigkkGawWxM.gif?format=mp4&s=ffd73565123bff2064d847d056917a7bea5f09a3
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‘my attitude towards the Wales vs England clash is surprisingly ambivalent. I… I… I just don’t really like England at the moment. ‘
We’ll see when it comes to Saturday. You may not be able to help screaming for Jonny to have one of his forwards moments.
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Even in the direst of the matt williams days I couldn’t help but hope against all the odds that we wouldn’t be shit.
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And that we’d beat someone. Anyone.
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Now we’re disappointed when we beat England and lose to Wales by a point with 14 men. I think I’d rather have these days than the Williams days.
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Most dangerous sport I have ever played? – rugby – no; lacrosse – no; squash – no; golf – no; cricket – yes!
Senior schools 2nd eleven cricket was lethal – teams made up of gorillas, nerds and n’ere-do’wells with one or two good players to leaven the bread. Fast bowlers had little idea where the ball was going and most batsmen none.
I used to open (ha-ha!). Hoiked a bowler to square leg – ball smashed into the fielders nose.
Last time I ever volunteered to play.
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Well, quite BB.
The Williams days were diabolical
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‘Most dangerous sport I have ever played? – rugby – no; lacrosse – no; squash – no; golf – no; cricket – yes!’
Especially with the added hazard of buggery.
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Chimpie – not sure buggery can be classified as a hazard tbh.
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My best bowling was into my brothers forehead once. It was a tennis ball and extremely funny for everyone 10 and under.
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What are we classifying as a sport? Mountain biking is dangerous. Especially with the risk taking and err general level of competence exhibited by a teenage Craigsman and his friends.
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I think I’m being accused of cultural appropriation, or something………………
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Bowler Aaron Beard and wicket keeper Adam Wheater coach my lads in the winter nets (not much this winter obviously). One session they were doing wicket keeping and the guy leading the session said “what do you need to be if you are a wicket keeper?” My youngest (who was then 6) put his hand up and said “small” and everyone laughed.
Adam Wheater is 5ft 6.
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Slade – been walking around France in your Chiefs fan costume again?
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‘not sure buggery can be classified as a hazard tbh.’
If it’s done with consent then no. Otherwise…..
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@Craigs
Only the top half in these Zoom days……………….
ps 20C here today – just sayin’
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Chimpie – thanks for the clarification.
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Slade – thanks for the clarification.
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‘the Six Nations Testing Oversight Group (TOG) has issued the following statement:
Further to a meeting of the Six Nations Testing Oversight Group (TOG) this morning to review the latest tests results of the French Squad, the Six Nations confirm the plans to stage the France v Scotland match as originally scheduled this coming Sunday. We continue to monitor the situation very closely and are in regular contact with both unions.’
Happy days
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shame that France will be without some of their players. But imagine it’ll still be a strong side.
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let me know if you clarifications on anything else, Britney.
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….a shame to lose to France’s 3rd XV
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Quite. Thanks for that clarification Slade.
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Me and my mates when we were at primary school played cricket (badly) every day of the summer holidays on a corner of the village green. One day we joined some older lads and my mate Stuart got a ball rearing off a good length straight in his eye. Blood everywhere including all over my fancy batting gloves that he had been using.
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Chimpie – the hard problem of consciousness please.
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Is that a karl? I just don’t know
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Disappointed. Not for the first time either.
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and I’m sure there’ll be plenty more disappointments in your future, Britney
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Starting with Wales scraping past England after Faz shoulders someone in the heid and finally gets a red card
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Pretty sure the tea/dinner debate has been cleared up onna BBC cricket feed. Winning arguments include:
– did anyone ever bring a ‘dinnerbox’ to school?
– has anyone ever turned up to a dinner party at 1pm?
Case closed.
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Who the bloody hell has a “dinner party” anyway?
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