I’ll try to keep this as short as possible.
Three games this week-end; that is, if France once again do not shrug their way out of the most porous bubble (called a sieve here, see below) ever seen since John Boyd Dunlop invented the flat tire.
The teams:
England: At the moment they look like a good example of someone’s definition of madness: do the same thing over and over and expect a different result.
Wales: Don’t call them fortunate; they hate it. Napoléon would have a word with Pivac though. A disastrous autumn followed by a welcome revival. Tedious at times, lethal sometimes. Will finish first unless France get a GS.
France: Will achieve a GS (see Wales).
Ireland: Stale but still mid-table. Reaching their tipping point on the declankidney-o-meter. That green jersey looks more and more like a corset, including to the meanies usually in blue.
Scotland: The perennial underachiever. Couldn’t even beat covided France by forfeit. Lovely to watch though. Definitely the colour of a dark horse.
Italy: they prove that the old adage “it’s easier to organise defence than attack” is plain rubbish. They produced lovely moves but they could not catch a slug on a Zimmer frame.
The games:
Italy vs Wales: makes me sad that a 6 Nations game is a foregone conclusion. Italy have unearthed some exciting new players but they lost what was their main strength, a solid if unimaginative pack. Their scrum is so wobbly they could hire Australians to improve them, the line-out is a mess and their defensive line look from above like a child’s drawing of a bolt of lightning. The only uncertainty is whether Wales will get the bonus point before or after the oranges. As for Wales, it’s a bit strange not to experiment a bit more, most of the team being a known quantity. Pivac probably wants battle hardened warriors for next week’s game, but it looks like a missed opportunity to blood new players. I’ll watch it, if only for AWJ and of course for Liam Williams: he may look like a horse rider but he’s a superb full back.
England vs France: both teams pick themselves but for different reasons. Eddie is so conservative he’d make Maggie look like a socialist. Apart from the obvious, he seems quite reluctant to change a formula that has shown its limitations. Scotland, who play a similar game to France, cruelly exposed them. And so did Wales in a different style. In both games England seemed incapable of changing gear and controlling their discipline. Of course, they’ll be more fit and the inclusion of Malins will bring more threat but Daly is still on the bench. Funny how a vibrant club game does not translate into a more fluid national squad.
France easily beat England in Paris last year and came close to winning the AI cup with a B team. It certainly helps in terms of confidence, but this is different. They might be as rusty as England, after the covid bubble burst. They also have the same problem as England in terms of discipline and the team that will remain on Andrew Brace’s side will take a big step ahead. But France have been rebuilding seriously for the past two years, they have a young but settled team, they know what to do and they’ll trust their ability to do it. A curiosity: France’s bench will be 6/2 whereas England’s will be 5/3.
I can see only one outcome. If the packs cancel one another, which I expect, then France have more threat in the backs. France by one score. With a bonus point, like Wales? Nah. A win would be good enough.
Scotland/Ireland: this should be a cracking game and it’s a hard one to call. Both teams lost to Wales, with one man down, but in different fashion. Both could’ve won (fine margins etc.) but I thought Scotland were the most enterprising of the three.
Ireland play a well-rehearsed game, easy to read, hard to stop. Sexton is a fading force but the way they play, he can still do the job for a couple of years. What’s that I hear? Deep sighs from the notablog showrunner? And where is Cooney, anyway?
I expect a lot of box-kicking, some good chases, some not so good and then beware Hogg and friends.
Just like France, Scotland might be a bit rusty for missing a game but I heard they played within their clubs. They should play a looser game than Ireland, with more unpredictability. Finn had a mediocre game last week with Racing. Was he keeping his powder dry? It does not really matter because Scotland have proven last year they can play without Finn, and well.
My money would be on a Scotland win but not by much.
I hope you all enjoy the week-end of rugby and I hope the refs will not be at centre stage like two weeks ago.
Oh, and before I go, a little recipe. No need for a sieve, but keep one handy, just in case you need to escape from Marcatraz (that’s what the French players nicknamed their rugby camp in Marcoussis, south of Paris).
The most famous omelette in France is served by La Mère Poulard restaurant (overrated and overpriced) in the Mont Saint Michel. It may not be the best omelette but it’s quite striking.
You’ll need 10 eggs.
2 table spoons of crème fraîche
40 g of butter
Salt, pepper
It will serve 4 people or a prop.
Save two eggs for the end.
Separate the yolks from the white. Whip the yolks lightly, but the whites ferociously with the salt. If by hand, at least several minutes, so they become almost solid.
Melt butter in a hot pan, add the yolks. When they begin to stick to the pan, add crème fraîche and the whipped whites. Do not stir. Make sure it does not stick too hard on the bottom. When ready, fold the omelet in two, so it looks like this:
Spray freshly ground pepper on top and serve immediately. Some in an upside down universe recommend Latour ‘82 with it, but it’s bollocks. I have yet to find a wine that goes well with eggs. Cider will be fine.
While you enjoy your first fluffed omelette, take the remaining eggs and throw them at my face when – if, he says tentatively? – my predictions, as usual, do not come true. As I said, I tried to keep this as short as possible.
As foretold by Flair99
Onna telly this week
Friday 12th March
| Zebre v Leinster | 17:45 | Premier Sports 2 |
| Bristol v Wasps | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
| Munster v Scarlets | 20:00 | S4C / Premier Sports 2 |
| Glasgow v Ospreys | 20:00 | Premier Sports 1 |
Saturday 13th March
| Newcastle v Bath | 12:30 | BT Sport Extra |
| Exeter v Harlequins | 12:30 | BT Sport Extra |
| Italy v Wales | 14:15 | ITV / S4C |
| Northampton v Sale | 14:45 | BT Sport Extra |
| Gloucester v Leicester | 15:00 | BT Sport Extra |
| England v France | 16:45 | ITV |
| Dragons v Ulster | 19:35 | Premier Sports 1 |
| Connacht v Edinburgh | 19:35 | Premier Sports 2 |
Sunday 14th March
| Treviso v Cardiff Not-Blues | 13:00 | Premier Sports 1 |
| London Irish v Worcester | 13:00 | BT Sport 1 |
| Scotland v Ireland | 15:00 | BBC1 |
Ovally Balls 
“Flair – your English is better than most native speakers’.”
He just needs to get working on his Norngibbon now.
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CMW, Ntamack sometimes played IC for Toulouse, so he coud play outside Jalibert, who himself sometimes plays FB for UBB. It partly explains Galthié ‘ 6/2 choice for the bench.
But Fickou is better than both at IC.
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Fickou’s looked good there for a while. Makes you wonder how we came to see him play other positions so much really, but I suppose we did wonder at the time.
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Mad start to the second half in Glasgow. 3 tries
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@Chimp – You’re supposed to tell us who scored them and that it was the O’s.
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Jalibert’s defence looked a bit flaky a year or two back, has that improved?
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@CMW
2 for Glasgow one for o’s
Glasgow point ahead
Happy now?
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Ha, Flair, you have a real challenge for your next ATL now.
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Jalibert was out knackered for a year and a bit after Aki smashed into hom on his debut v ireland in 2018. Talk at the time was that he was a wunderkind. Not seen too much of his defence but his attacking play makes up for it if it is deficient.
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Craigs – returned your email, thanks!
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Another try Glasgow
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@Chimpie – No, that’s a poor effort from you, try to do better in future.
This other game is just a series of lineouts, mauls and yellow cards, very tedious.
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Thaum – back at you.
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O’s could do with a bonus point or two at least. Though I suppose they only have to worry if Glasgow can find someone else as shit as them to beat in their last couple of games.
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@Thaum – I’m surprised I didn’t get Karled as well.
What that?
That’s your norngibbon
etc.
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Dumb yellow card by ioane
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O’s back to within 5
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Glasgow win
In CMW displeasing news
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Their scrum is so wobbly they could hire Australians to improve them
Loved this! Great ATL Flair! Merci!
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@Chimpie – You’ll have to resit I’m afraid.
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CMW – that poor Norngibbon has a lot to put up with.
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Decent enough game
Some of these weedge sprogs look promising. McLean, Thompson, fergusson
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Ref was desperate for another maul try, but Scarlets wouldn’t kick the penalties to touch. Looks like they might have scored another way in the end so he’ll be very disappointed.
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That’s TWO wins inna row! And with 21 players missing! (Yes I know Ospreys will have had loads missing too, but I don’t care).
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Scarlets manage to score at the death: 28-10.
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Watching Munster is very like watching Ireland. Thankfully watching Wales isn’t too much like watching any of the Regions just at the moment.
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“That’s TWO wins inna row! And with 21 players missing! (Yes I know Ospreys will have had loads missing too, but I don’t care).”
Glasgow did well to come back from a poor start.
The young lads look good for the future.
We’ll never know about Edinburgh’s young lads as Richard Cockerill keeps them in a cage beneath the new pitch until they are 27 or they are moved on to another team.
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You do have a bit more of a settled team though. We’ve had to go through a pretty major rebuild after losing 3 of our major stars, plus other stalwarts.
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“Fergusson”
The Fagersons will be very excited if Fergusson establishes himself as they may no longer be the most commonly misspelt. They’ll be thinking there are people out there who know that they’re not Fergusons, but nobody’s going to know that Fergusson isn’t.
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“You do have a bit more of a settled team though”
Hrmm, that is one way of looking at it.
Another might be continually picking SA journeymen in front of young Scottish prospects, prospects who will never be anything but prospects because they don’t get game time.
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Bit of a bummer when coaches think, year in and year out, that Saffer journeymen are better than Scottish prospects.
I see Nathan Hughes played last night. Surely he’s the guy to bring a bit of dynamism to England’s plodding pack?
Right, that’s Scotland and England ticked off, I’ll get to Wales and Ireland shortly.
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Chiefs 10-5 up at the Crusaders, who are pushing hard. This new law they’ve introduced that if the attacking player is held up over the line, it’s a goal line drop out for the defending team is puzzling. Favours the defending team rather than attacking. Perhaps introduced to move the game away from 20 phases of pick and drive?
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11-10 Crusaders, with the Chiefs coughing up penalties like a Maro Itoje tribute act. 8 on the bounce and five in the last 10 minutes.
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Finally the Chiefs get a penalty! Good turnover. And another! Not rolling away. D-Mac gonna biff it from just inside the Chiefs half. Pulled wide and that’s the half.
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Chiefs down a man early in the second half and the Saders are running riot. What looked like a perfectly legal pass ruled forward simply because it was long. Back to 18-10.
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Crusaders totally bossing it now, but some wayward passing and handling, together with desperate defence is keeping the Chiefs just about in it.
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Ah that’s it. As Brook Benton crooned so deliciously, It’s just a matter of time. Will Jordan scythes through and under the posts. 25-10.
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32-10 as another multiphase sweeping movement sees the Crusaders in again.
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Finished 39-17 by the way. Was walking the dogs. Brumbies-Reds coming up.
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@Deebs
Nathan Hughes? I see him as a very strong man and can be clever with the ball, but also a plodder who gives away penalties. Also, he’s not really fit a and rarely lasts beyond 50 minutes now.
Rather than being in contention, he’s dropped off the taxi rank altogether.
Fading flat track bully who didn’t really shape up when he had his chances.
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@Slade – Hughes is a great club player, but not much more than that.
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Slade, you’ve described him to a tee. Which is why I was recommending his return to the England fold.
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Thanks for the atl, Flair.
Scottish fiddler Bruce MacGregor, former captain of Highland Rugby Club in Inverness, has written a tune called Doddie’s Dream, it can be bought from Amazon or iTunes with the proceeds going to Doddie’s foundation which funds research into MND.
Bruce apparently played alongside Doddie in the Scottish Students side
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“Bit of a bummer when coaches think, year in and year out, that Saffer journeymen are better than Scottish prospects.”
Deebs, to be fair it’s one specific coach with a couple of specific players, the likes of WP Nel are leg ends at Embra. Cockerill pretty much saved Duhan van der Merwe’s career, and he is a top top player now.
However Charlie Shiel has started five games in three seasons and he is miles better than Nic Glacial Groom.
Jaco van der Walt is a decent pro 14 ten, but tonight Nathan Chamberlain plays standoff having started a total of three games for the club and has found himself being an un-used sub for something like eight games on the trot.
Mike Willemse has dreadful lineout yips, he really does struggle there, meanwhile Scotland’s hooker George Turner was let go from his hometown club and is enjoying his time with Glasgow.
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Oh, and I’m sure it’s not van der Walt’s choice to stand so deep it’s like he’s playing in the 1980s, when the game breaks down and he finds himself accidentally playing flat he looks like a player with a step, decent hands and an eye for a gap.
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Excellent Saturday morning introduction to rugby, many thanks Flair.and Thaum, of course.
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Norngibbon?
Is that NI pronunciation?
CMW, forgot to add to your question re Ntamack/ Jalibert that Dupont is paired with Ntamack at Toulouse wheras Jalibert plays besides Serin with UBB. Hence the not illogical tendency to see Ntamack as the starter.
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Norngibbon?
Is that NI pronunciation?
No, that’s just CMW being bloody rude.
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Lost me there.
And I made a mistake: Jalibert used to play along Serin at UBB, but Serin is now with Toulon.
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Super Jizz by Quins, Smith and Dombrandt firing the first shots in the battle of Alternative England.
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