I’ll try to keep this as short as possible.
Three games this week-end; that is, if France once again do not shrug their way out of the most porous bubble (called a sieve here, see below) ever seen since John Boyd Dunlop invented the flat tire.
The teams:
England: At the moment they look like a good example of someone’s definition of madness: do the same thing over and over and expect a different result.
Wales: Don’t call them fortunate; they hate it. Napoléon would have a word with Pivac though. A disastrous autumn followed by a welcome revival. Tedious at times, lethal sometimes. Will finish first unless France get a GS.
France: Will achieve a GS (see Wales).
Ireland: Stale but still mid-table. Reaching their tipping point on the declankidney-o-meter. That green jersey looks more and more like a corset, including to the meanies usually in blue.
Scotland: The perennial underachiever. Couldn’t even beat covided France by forfeit. Lovely to watch though. Definitely the colour of a dark horse.
Italy: they prove that the old adage “it’s easier to organise defence than attack” is plain rubbish. They produced lovely moves but they could not catch a slug on a Zimmer frame.
The games:
Italy vs Wales: makes me sad that a 6 Nations game is a foregone conclusion. Italy have unearthed some exciting new players but they lost what was their main strength, a solid if unimaginative pack. Their scrum is so wobbly they could hire Australians to improve them, the line-out is a mess and their defensive line look from above like a child’s drawing of a bolt of lightning. The only uncertainty is whether Wales will get the bonus point before or after the oranges. As for Wales, it’s a bit strange not to experiment a bit more, most of the team being a known quantity. Pivac probably wants battle hardened warriors for next week’s game, but it looks like a missed opportunity to blood new players. I’ll watch it, if only for AWJ and of course for Liam Williams: he may look like a horse rider but he’s a superb full back.
England vs France: both teams pick themselves but for different reasons. Eddie is so conservative he’d make Maggie look like a socialist. Apart from the obvious, he seems quite reluctant to change a formula that has shown its limitations. Scotland, who play a similar game to France, cruelly exposed them. And so did Wales in a different style. In both games England seemed incapable of changing gear and controlling their discipline. Of course, they’ll be more fit and the inclusion of Malins will bring more threat but Daly is still on the bench. Funny how a vibrant club game does not translate into a more fluid national squad.
France easily beat England in Paris last year and came close to winning the AI cup with a B team. It certainly helps in terms of confidence, but this is different. They might be as rusty as England, after the covid bubble burst. They also have the same problem as England in terms of discipline and the team that will remain on Andrew Brace’s side will take a big step ahead. But France have been rebuilding seriously for the past two years, they have a young but settled team, they know what to do and they’ll trust their ability to do it. A curiosity: France’s bench will be 6/2 whereas England’s will be 5/3.
I can see only one outcome. If the packs cancel one another, which I expect, then France have more threat in the backs. France by one score. With a bonus point, like Wales? Nah. A win would be good enough.
Scotland/Ireland: this should be a cracking game and it’s a hard one to call. Both teams lost to Wales, with one man down, but in different fashion. Both could’ve won (fine margins etc.) but I thought Scotland were the most enterprising of the three.
Ireland play a well-rehearsed game, easy to read, hard to stop. Sexton is a fading force but the way they play, he can still do the job for a couple of years. What’s that I hear? Deep sighs from the notablog showrunner? And where is Cooney, anyway?
I expect a lot of box-kicking, some good chases, some not so good and then beware Hogg and friends.
Just like France, Scotland might be a bit rusty for missing a game but I heard they played within their clubs. They should play a looser game than Ireland, with more unpredictability. Finn had a mediocre game last week with Racing. Was he keeping his powder dry? It does not really matter because Scotland have proven last year they can play without Finn, and well.
My money would be on a Scotland win but not by much.
I hope you all enjoy the week-end of rugby and I hope the refs will not be at centre stage like two weeks ago.
Oh, and before I go, a little recipe. No need for a sieve, but keep one handy, just in case you need to escape from Marcatraz (that’s what the French players nicknamed their rugby camp in Marcoussis, south of Paris).
The most famous omelette in France is served by La Mère Poulard restaurant (overrated and overpriced) in the Mont Saint Michel. It may not be the best omelette but it’s quite striking.
You’ll need 10 eggs.
2 table spoons of crème fraîche
40 g of butter
Salt, pepper
It will serve 4 people or a prop.
Save two eggs for the end.
Separate the yolks from the white. Whip the yolks lightly, but the whites ferociously with the salt. If by hand, at least several minutes, so they become almost solid.
Melt butter in a hot pan, add the yolks. When they begin to stick to the pan, add crème fraîche and the whipped whites. Do not stir. Make sure it does not stick too hard on the bottom. When ready, fold the omelet in two, so it looks like this:
Spray freshly ground pepper on top and serve immediately. Some in an upside down universe recommend Latour ‘82 with it, but it’s bollocks. I have yet to find a wine that goes well with eggs. Cider will be fine.
While you enjoy your first fluffed omelette, take the remaining eggs and throw them at my face when – if, he says tentatively? – my predictions, as usual, do not come true. As I said, I tried to keep this as short as possible.
As foretold by Flair99
Onna telly this week
Friday 12th March
| Zebre v Leinster | 17:45 | Premier Sports 2 |
| Bristol v Wasps | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
| Munster v Scarlets | 20:00 | S4C / Premier Sports 2 |
| Glasgow v Ospreys | 20:00 | Premier Sports 1 |
Saturday 13th March
| Newcastle v Bath | 12:30 | BT Sport Extra |
| Exeter v Harlequins | 12:30 | BT Sport Extra |
| Italy v Wales | 14:15 | ITV / S4C |
| Northampton v Sale | 14:45 | BT Sport Extra |
| Gloucester v Leicester | 15:00 | BT Sport Extra |
| England v France | 16:45 | ITV |
| Dragons v Ulster | 19:35 | Premier Sports 1 |
| Connacht v Edinburgh | 19:35 | Premier Sports 2 |
Sunday 14th March
| Treviso v Cardiff Not-Blues | 13:00 | Premier Sports 1 |
| London Irish v Worcester | 13:00 | BT Sport 1 |
| Scotland v Ireland | 15:00 | BBC1 |
Ovally Balls 
Wow, what a start from France
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Well, at least England haven’t given away any penalties yet.
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Spawny gets (nice try).
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England worse than Italy
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Ah.
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Entertaining start for the neutral
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Heard an oh putain there. Naughty.
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Marlins a like-for-like replacement for Daly.
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Excellent by England.
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Galthie out!
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Huh.
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I hope we get another seventy minutes like this
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France wanting to tire England out early on but they’re not playing too smart with the quick line-outs.
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This is most entertaining.
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TomP – yes, they seem to be working on the assumption that England can be caught napping, but it’s not the right tactics (and I expect England are prepared for this now).
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Good first minute by France. Not so good since then
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Also a shit kick by Dupont earlier on in the movement. He’s lacking some control at the moment.
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Vakatawa dominating Slade at the moment.
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France’s kicking is giving England so much space.
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Glad to see that the two best teams in the comp have come to play
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Dupont’s box kicks are bad
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Mako looks done in already
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Scotland v Wales was a few weeks ago, fishy.
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Fucking glacial Ben Youngs.
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@Ticht – doesn’t Mako tend to look done in before he even gets on the pitch?
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Poor Youngs. Nice line break then hauled down by a prop.
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Training pitch try
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Oh, that was a beautiful set-piece move.
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That was good
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Training ground move
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Lovely from France!
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Great try but if Ford doesn’t sling the quick throw ….
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Dulin is brilliant.
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Ha and knocks on immediately I type that.
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Johnny went full sideways there.
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Curry saved England there
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Beautiful play by Jalibert.
Loads of mistakes but that’s cos of the speed of the game.
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How did we just do from Thomas almost taking the ball into touch, to Dupont almost breaking the line to score, in like 10 seconds?
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France looking very dangerous. Good game to watch
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That went in a flash.
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Good half.
England have to come up with something more than la chandelle and bosch, France look dangerous in possession
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Exciting first half, that! England yeomanlike in defence and attack. It’s the yeomanlikeness of the attack that will cost us the game. Malin not had a great first 40.
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Refit, I thought that was terrible play initially by Thomas. But what a recovery!
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@TomP – The right thing for him to do would have been to let it go out on the full, but then it wasn’t.
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Lovely watch, this.
Malins > Daly – who’d have imagined that?
France’s back-line attacks in a wave, England’s by great individual effort, dependent on support arriving in time.
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I really enjoy this. Fast znd durious.
England better than I expected ( whats new?).
Watson is such a wonderful player, so underused usually. France almost blown away in 10 minutes. Why don’t England always play like this?
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England at risk of losing shape too often, presumably thanks to French movement……………….
French blanket defence very effective, so far
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Fast and furious, obviously.
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Flair
still need a faster and more accurate pass from the breakdown……………….
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Great first half! Pretty much everything you want from Test rugby, including the mistakes and bad decisions, many of which are pressure induced. Loved it!
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